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My 30 in 30 - Day 21

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Today's Topic: A picture of something you wish you were better at

No doubt most of us have a whole list of things we wish we were better at. For me this includes everything from Singing to doing Forgiveness.

The thing that came to my mind first, though, as I read what today's topic is to be about; was that I wish I were a more outgoing person. The person that I am, that I see in my dreams; that I am in the world inside my head; is the life of the party. But in real life nothing could be further from the truth. No one, not even my family, has ever in my whole life seen the person that I am inside. Nothing about me is like the person my heart longs to be. The world knows me as a quiet, shy, person... friendly, a 'good girl', and though I truly don't see it I get lots of compliments on how I look.

In my dreams, I am the life of the party. I am a person who seems to attract other people. In my dreams I always seem to have an entourage of friends following me. I get phone calls from everyone day and night. I get lots of invites to all sorts of things. I'm the first person all my friends call when the want to do anything, or when they need advice, or a shoulder to cry on. I have a great life... a husband, a home, kids, a circle of friends. I do lots of community work, I have a great career that I am very good at. I'm a free spirit.

Am I the only one like this? Am I the only one who is opposite on the outside from what they are on the inside? How do I change that? Is it too late? What will others think?

I wish I was better at being me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 6/22/2011 9:53AM

    SAFETYSUE... your story brought tears to my eyes. That's an awesome story. I know Flashdance very well. I've watched it many times.

TRACYZABELLE... thank you for the wonderful encouragment. I know God is speaking to me through this. Thank you so much.

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TRACYZABELLE 6/22/2011 12:44AM

    I KNOW you can be the life of the party! Just look at you opening up to us! YOU can do it girl!

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SAFETYSUE 6/21/2011 11:26PM

    I PERSONALLY FEEL WITHOUT YOUR DREAMS YOU DIE! I GOT THAT FROM THE MOVIE FLASH DANCE, I WENT TO SEE IT ALONE AND FEELING LIKE I WOULD NEVER MAKE IT ONTO A PAID FIRE DEPARTMENT. I HAD BEEN A VOLUNTEER FIRE FIGHTER FOR TEN YEARS AN WENT SO FAR AS TO PULL UP TO TAKE THE PAID DEPARTMENTS TEST, CHICKENED OUT AND DROVE AWAY. NO WOMAN HAD EVER PAST THE AGILITY TEST! AFTER FLASH DANCE I SAT IN MY CAR AND CRIED...THEN THE TEST CAME UP AND IS ONLY GIVEN ONCE A YEAR.

I DID GO AND TAKE THAT TEST AND WAS THE FIRST WOMAN TO PASS IT!!

BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS, LET THEM GIVE YOU THE COURAGE TO PURSUE THEM!!

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/21/2011 10:32PM

    Thanks EDWARDS1411. You seem to have such great quotes all the time. You're like the quote queen. lol Thanks for that one. It's one that is good food for thought.

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EDWARDS1411 6/21/2011 9:55PM

    Very wise words Amber!!

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ~ Author Unknown






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SPARKYCARLEY 6/21/2011 9:37PM

    Thanks Amber. You're always so positive.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 6/21/2011 9:26PM

    I wish you the best in making your dreams come true.
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Comment edited on: 2/17/2014 8:43:00 PM

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My 30 in 30 - Day 20

Monday, June 20, 2011

Today's topic: A photo of somewhere you would like to travel.

Well, there's no need for me to stop and think about this one. Hands down the winner is Italy. I have dreamed most of my life of going to Italy.

In a perfect world, I would go on an extended tour, taking maybe a couple years to take in the wonder and beauty of Italia. Then maybe I'd buy a villa in the Tuscan country side where I could spend some time. I'm not sure why I've always had such a passion for Italy, I just now it's there.

A perfect day would be to wander through city streets chatting with the locals and having lunch at some small cafe type place. Then go on to spend the afternoon picking through old treasures at a flea market. One of a kind items that you could never find anywhere else on earth, that I could bring home and decorate my home in Canada to look like an old Tuscan Villa. Or maybe posing for a slightly risque portrait painted by a starving Italian artist. Or go to a vineyard and experience a wine & cheese tasting, Italian style. Accept a dinner invitation to a big Italian party from a handsome Italian gentleman who speaks to me with such romance, yet I have no clue what he's saying; and it doesn't matter because we're just having fun together.

I think in a past lifetime I was Italian. I think if I went there I would want to stay. I can honestly see that happening.

Well, until next time 'Ciao Baby'.











  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 6/21/2011 9:48PM

    Also... with encouragment from a SP friend who says that this series has the potential to become something much bigger, I did expand this blog into a bigger one and posted it on my own website. Here's the link if anyone would like to read it...

http://worshipmelodies.blog
spot.com/2011/06/big-dreams.html

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/21/2011 9:48PM

    EDWARDS1411... can you translate that for me?



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EDWARDS1411 6/21/2011 9:42PM

    Bei sogni per una bella signora!

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LJR4HEALTH 6/21/2011 7:34AM

    Italy would be a great place to go its on my list I like Tracy's Idea virtual vacation that would be fun to do

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TRACYZABELLE 6/20/2011 11:46PM

    You can always do a virtual vacation and have an italy night invite frineds to come over with a dish and watcg an italian movie or listen to italian music :)

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FIT_ARTIST 6/20/2011 9:51PM

    Oh! I am trying to plan a trip to Greece, Italy & Spain for sometime during the next year!!! My entire family is from Italy and I am just DYING to get there! Great Blog!!! emoticon

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MRSJERRYBUSH 6/20/2011 2:44PM

    What a lovely blog! Italy would be beautiful and romantic--hope you get to go.

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/20/2011 1:59PM

    Thanks RCW0442EHS. I hope so too.

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RCW0442EHS 6/20/2011 1:38PM

    Italy would be an awesome place to go. Your ideal day would be so much fun. I loved all of your photos, that's exactly how I picture Italy. I hope you get to go someday and live your dream.

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My 30 in 30 - Day 19

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Today's topic: 'A picture of your nicknames you have; why do you have them.'

Ok... I have to admit that this next topic on the list has completely thrown me for a loop. A picture of a nickname? Huh?

Well, my nickname is Carley. I used to have a longgggg list of nick names when Paul and I were still together. On a regular basis he called me everything from Babe, to Sweet Pea, to Woman, to Blondie... and I could go on & on.

However, Carley is for Carley Copper... which is a twist on my real name Carla Yvonne Cooper. He seemed to pick 'Carley' right from the beginning of our relationship; which was like a pet name for me. The 'Copper' is a twist on 'Cooper' because of a story I told him once about how people ask me all the time if my last name has two O's or two P's. I tell them that C-O-P-P-E-R is Copper... a mineral... not Cooper, my name. lol Anyway... Carley stuck, and now most people call me Carley. I like it.











  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDWARDS1411 6/20/2011 10:17PM

    Yup I like Carley too!!!

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/20/2011 8:03AM

    Thank you friends. :-)

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TRACYZABELLE 6/20/2011 6:42AM

    cute blog

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PAMAPPLE 6/20/2011 2:43AM

    I love the name Carley... so glad you stuck with it!

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My 30 in 30 - Day 18

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Today's Topic ' A picture of your biggest insecurity and why it is your biggest'.

I'm not totally sure what is my biggest, but certainly the very first thing that comes to mind is being lonely. I think that is because I'm lonely all the time. It is the one thing that time does not heal. By nature of what it is time only makes it worse. This is the 2nd time in my adult life that I've been a single person. The first time was about 6 years, this time it is 5 years. I has never gotten easier. Now, I try to hide it more. People don't seem to like you if you're lonely. That and the fact I'm slightly self conscious of it now because my last roommate used to tell me all the time that I was as mature as a 12 year old because I felt lonely so often. It made no sense to me then and it still doesn't; because it is a basic human emotion. Granted I keep busy... too much so sometimes, but keeping my mind busy doesn't take my mind off of loneliness. For me, keeping my mind busy just means I have two things on my mind... what I'm doing AND the loneliness. But I have faith that I refuse to give up. I'm like a bull dog with a bone on that. I just won't let go of the faith that God will bring this to and end and will turn this into a blessing one day... soon!

I thought it would be difficult to find a photo of loneliness. But just a basic search for ideas gave me many. I thought this one suits the feeling very well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDWARDS1411 6/20/2011 10:15PM

    emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 6/20/2011 6:43AM

    emoticon

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/19/2011 7:05PM

    Your so very welcome Darlene. I just seem to have a talent for wearing my heart on my sleeve, and people respond to it. I'm so happy that I can inspire someone. That is what keeps me writing. I've been fortunate to have that special someone a few times... but it never lasted; so I guess that in itself could mean that none of them were 'the one' after all. I never give up hope though. God has a plan for me, and for you. We just have to keep faith, and never stop praying.

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FANCYQTR 6/19/2011 6:52PM

    I can relate to being lonely, Carley. I have never had that special someone in my life. I have been enjoying seeing your blogs and keeping track of the subjects so that maybe I can do the same type of thing myself someday. Thank you for letting us see into these things in your life.

Darlene

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/19/2011 6:50PM

    Oh that's for sure. There's a number of ways to look at those varying situations. One can feel lonely in a room full of people. I've been there too.

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LJR4HEALTH 6/19/2011 4:16PM

    Thanks Carley for sharing I can relate to feeling the of loneliness I have been blessed that I haven't been there in many years once I came to grips the assault that took place to cause my PTSD I found my inner peace the loneliness & emptiness has disappeared I do believe there is a difference in being "alone " and "loneliness"

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/19/2011 8:23AM

    Oh, I have come to realize that I need my alone time. It's become one of the things that is a source of strength for me because I'm alone with God and it helps me keep my sanity, literally. I have lived with several of the wrong people, but I don't think I have felt that it is worse, for me, than being alone. Even when I was miserable with the guy I always told myself "at least your not alone". I do hope one day that I will be married again though. It is certainly my biggest dream, but it's all in God's hands now.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 6/19/2011 12:03AM

    ...

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My 30 in 30 - Day 17

Friday, June 17, 2011

Today's Topic: 'A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently'.

I think you, my followers, just be tired of hearing me say the same thing through this series. Which is that there's not just one answer to this question. There are lots of things that has had an impact on my life; even recently. Again, the one biggest thing is no doubt the Bible which contains the Word of God. Nothing affects any of us more than that.

But for the sake of listing something, I think the first thing that comes to mind that has had the most impact recently is my apartment. It's a long story how I came to live here. Some of you know it; and those that follow my private blog know the details. Never the less, to have this apartment is definitely a God-send. It is a huge blessings for so many reasons.

I'm still waiting for my doggie to come home, and I haven't stopped praying, so for those of you who send me messages saying you're praying and asking me about updates... it's still the same. My dog is living with a dear friend, I see him now & then but not as often as I would like to. I've had more signs of hope lately. I know God is working on it. So please keep praying.

Anyway... here's a couple pics of the inside of my apartment.


The front of our building

















And finally........my beautiful view on a foggy morning! :-)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYCARLEY 7/26/2011 9:17AM

    Yes, it certainly has taken a massive amount of weight off my shoulders. It helps make the problems that are still there feel much more bearable.

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PETITFLOUR 7/26/2011 8:44AM

    you must be massively proud about your appartment and new life.

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/19/2011 8:28AM

    Thank you ASPENHUGGER. It is one of my first prayers every morning. I don't ever give up hope.

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ASPENHUGGER 6/19/2011 12:43AM

    What a lovely apartment, Carley! And nice views too. It would just be PERFECT, except for that one little thing ... which I hope you can get soon!

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/17/2011 9:34PM

    Awwww *blush* lol Thanks so much for the wonderful comment EDWARDS1411

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EDWARDS1411 6/17/2011 9:24PM

    Your apartment is lovely and warm just as you are Carley!!!

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SPARKYCARLEY 6/17/2011 7:05PM

    Thanks. It's only 500 square feet with no storage.... my last apartment was 1000 sq ft. with lots of storage. And there was a time when I owned a 2800 sq foot house. But I've learned that material items are not important in life. I love this apartment though. I just love living here.

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GONEWLIFE 6/17/2011 6:52PM

    Nice digs !

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