Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Time for some bragging!!!
So far for October alone, I've lost 3.6 lbs.
I've lost 10.7 lbs. since I re-started back on 9/2/14.
I've lost 21.4 lbs. since 3/10/14.
Right now, I'm just under the weight that I was when I quit going to the nutrition center. I'm 1.7 lbs. less than my last weigh-in there a year ago (10/18/13).
Right now my weight is 211.6, so once I've lost at least 11.6 lbs., I'll be in "ONEderland"!! My ultimate weight loss goal is to weigh 166 (which I hope isn't unrealistic) by 6/6/15. (I re-started on 9/2 at 222.3 lbs. -- lots of 2s -- so for my goal, I thought I'd go with the number 6 -- 166 on 6/6. ) I want realistic goals to shoot for. Right now I'm 45.6 lbs. away from that goal.
So here are my mini-goals. I hope I’m not expecting too much, too fast.
1. Weigh 199 (be in "ONEderland") by Thanksgiving. That's about 12 lbs. away, 5 weeks away from now. (That might be stretching it, though.)
2. Weigh 190 by March 14th (my birthday). That would be approx. 10 lbs. in a little over 15 weeks. This may be difficult to do over the holidays, though.
3. Weigh 175 by May 1st (15 lbs. in about a month and a half).
4. Weigh 166 (9 more lbs.) by 6/6/15 (about 5 weeks).
That's the plan, anyway!
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
Monday, September 08, 2014
Here's a quote I like from Maria Robinson (author):
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
So there's no sense in beating yourself up over your mistakes. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go for your goals!
Thursday, September 04, 2014
The SparkPeople Inspirational Quote for Tuesday really hit me.
I saved the SparkPeople Comment about it:
Stop and really think about this one. How often do we go through each day, moving from home to work to home again, stuck in the same routine, not really paying attention to things that are going on around us? Is each day the same as the last one? Are you able to live each day? “Living” each day means different things to different people. What does it mean to you? Does it mean laughing everyday? Does it mean making a small difference in somebody else’s life each day? Does it mean spending time with those that you love? Does it mean taking time out of your busy schedule to just relax? Choose for yourself. Each day can be different. But make sure that you make the most of the time you have been given. Don’t just exist, like a robot, going through the motions. Live!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I realized right then and there that I was not really living my life. I have a very routine, humdrum existence. I do the same things every day, and it is only on occasion that I vary this boring schedule. But is that really living?? Time is ticking away (I'm no youngster anymore!), and I'm not using each day to its best advantage. Time for a wake-up call!
So in addition to getting back on track with my eating habits (which drifted quietly off track), I need to decide what I can do to live. Really LIVE. Maybe go to a park and watch (really watch!) the birds and the squirrels. Maybe go to a place I've never been to before. I need to rediscover the wonder that I was born with. What can I see today that I've never really "seen" before? Who can I have some conversation with? What different place can I go to today? I have been living life with blinders on! It's time to look and see what's out there waiting to be seen and explored.
Each day doesn't need to have an Indiana Jones style of adventure, but every day I need to ask myself, "What can I do today that will take me outside of the little box I've created of my world?" This is difficult for me, but I think that with some mindfulness and intention, I can open my eyes and see the great big world out there.
Friday, October 26, 2012
I had my cat put to sleep last Thursday, and I must say it went much better than I had anticipated.
The day before I put her to sleep, I decided I would give her favorite treat to her (it was the only thing she would eat that day): tuna water (water drained from cans of tuna). Throughout the day, I cracked open three cans of tuna, and she lapped the water all up. She begged for more, but I couldn't find more in my cupboard. I felt guilty that I didn't have any more to give her. Why didn't I think of buying her more tuna ahead of time??
I couldn't sleep that night; sleeping seemed like such a waste of time when I could be spending more time with Missy. I could see that she was doing even worse than the day before. She could barely walk---it was obvious that her hips were hurting her badly. It was really hard for me to watch her in such pain. She drank a lot of water, but had to drink it lying down because she couldn't support herself anymore.
During those early morning hours, I lit a candle and read through the service of the dead (funeral service) from my old hymnal from church. Really, the "old Missy" was already gone, and I began the gut-wrenching process of mourning her death. It was really rough for me to read through the funeral service, and I sobbed and sobbed. After I read through the service, I read some Psalms from the Bible, and those words really comforted me. Between the Bible reading and watching my cat's health deteriorate before my very eyes, I began to realize that putting her to sleep was the right choice. I knew it was the best gift I could give to her. Missy would cry out in pain, and I told her that help was on the way. Just hang in there a few more hours and it would be over soon.
The vet came out to the house. Before she began the procedure, she explained everything to me. She was very kind and understanding. She gave Missy a muscle relaxant first so that she wouldn't feel the actual injection that would stop her heart. While Missy was relaxing, I said my final goodbyes to her. When I was ready (and only when I was ready), the vet injected the second shot. Soon it was over. My baby was gone. I wept.
I took some of her fur that they had shaved off of her front leg at the injection site. I saved her toys, and I put the rest of her things in storage. I'm thinking of putting her toys and some pictures of her in a shadow box to remember her by. I didn't want her body to bury or her ashes to keep or scatter. They would mean nothing to me. Even when I visit my mom's grave, I don't talk to her like some people do when they visit grave sites of loved ones. I know my mom's not there any longer. What I remember of her is no longer there. It's the same with Missy. She's gone.
The house seems so empty without her. There's no one to greet me at the bottom of the stairs first thing in the morning, or at the front door when I come home. I miss her terribly, but I know I did the right thing. I am certain she is in a much better place now, finally freed from her tremendous pain and suffering.
When I tell people that I put my cat to sleep, the first thing they typically ask is if I'm going to get another cat. People don't seem to understand the fact that my cat was a member of my family. (When a couple loses a child, you wouldn't dare ask if they'll have another baby right away.) It's as though people think that getting another cat could possibly replace the hole I have in my heart. I can't just go right out and get another cat. Not yet, anyway. I need time to grieve.
I found the only picture I have of the two of us together. It's something I will always treasure. This picture was taken several years ago, before my weight loss, and when Missy was in her prime.
If you read this far, thank you. I just needed to get this out.
Rest in peace, Missy.
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