Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Started the day off with gentle yoga DVD I recently bought at Kripalu Yoga Center in the Berkshires, which was just what I needed a few weeks ago to hit my re-set button....
Tracked for the 3rd day in a row & finally made it within range, albeit on the high side. Not drinking 8 glasses of water & not feeling thirsty but know that helps curb what I think is hunger.
Got some online shopping done as I'm dying for some new coral clothing/shoes. Most will go back, but it's the perfect medicine to brighten up my wardrobe...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Heard a free 1 hour session by Wayne Dyer who I frequently look to for spiritual guidance. He frequently talks about how we:
Must assume the feeling of the wishes fulfilled…
* Live in the feeling of what you want your body to be & it will be!
* Change the way you look at things & the things you see will change
I'm still struggling with the following questions in my desires:
* How do I embrace the feeling of DESERVING?
* What does it feel like to be LEAN & SEXY ?
* What does it feel like to be WEALTHY & SUCCESSFUL?
* How do I overcome my FEARS of failure or is it fear of success?
Dyer suggests that we must see ourselves as that which we want to be...So, WHO AM I (or want to be)?
* I AM HEALTHY, FIT
* I AM ENERGETIC, STRENGTH
* I AM LOVE, KINDNESS, FEARLESS (?)
* I AM HAPPY, CONTENT, FULFILLMENT
* I AM GRATEFUL, THANKFUL
* I AM FORGIVENESS, PEACEFUL
* I AM ABUNDANCE, SUCCESSFUL
* I AM WEALTHY, PROSPEROUS
* I AM CREATIVE, IMAGINATION, INNOVATION
* I AM CONFIDENT, UNLIMITED, INFINITE
* I AM LEARNING, GROWING, EVOLVING
* I AM INSPIRATION, SYNCHRONICITY , A SPARK
* I AM BOLD, PERSISTENT
Each night, I will RE-PROGRAM MY SUBCONCIOUS MIND & review this list.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Had a fulfilling weekend now that the spark has been re-lit...Still feeling sore from Saturday's 3 hour workout, but it's the good kind of pain...Spent the day in NYC shopping with DD & her friend. Ended the day bonding with DD watching Modern Family & the Shahs of Sunset which we both love!
Back to tracking & see that I'm overeating...might explain the weight gain (duh!)
Saturday, April 14, 2012
I've been in hiding since last summer as life has taken twists & turns that I haven't managed all that well. I have peaked in from time to time in search of a spark to get back on track which has proven been more difficult than I had anticipated. Meanwhile, the weight has definitely crept up. I don't need to get on a scale (nor do I desire it) to know that my clothes are starting to not fit me again.
This morning, I thankfully finally woke well rested, even though I had woken up 3x during the night wondering if my teenage son had come home yet. For some unexplainable reason, I feel like a cloud is shifting & that the sun is finally rising. Maybe it's spring fever...Or maybe life is just getting good again right now. So, I'm hitting the pause button to acknowledge all that's good NOW.
After a light breakfast with DH, he dropped me off at the gym for morning spin class which I haven't been able to get back in the groove with. Then, I made it through an hour of total body conditioning. As I was getting ready to leave, I got a text from a new walking friend. I couldn't give up the offer to go for a walk on such a spectacular day, despite having already worked out for 2 hours. It was nice chatting, listening to the birds chirp & enjoying the wonderful smells of spring flowers.
I got home to see that DS was in complete room re-organization mode which is encouraging as he's been seemingly distant & mostly focused on fantasy baseball & any kind of professional or college sporting event on T.V. He seems completely disinterested in anything else in life other than sports which is why I keep suggesting he study sports management as clearly that's where his passion lies, but he's not confident that he can earn a decent living in it so he's pursuing a business degree. Maybe he'll get inspired over the next 4 years & find his true calling.
Thankfully, DS seems to be getting closer to making a college decision which has been a bonding experience, but stressful all the same. I'm slowly learning to let go which has been difficult for me as I'm one of those mothers who wants to do it all for my kids & to protect them at every corner. Learning that our kids must be allowed to falter so that they can learn to manage life on their own has been a most humbling experience (I'm still in training).
DD is also becoming more independent, yet at the same time more needy which is confusing. Proud that both kids are graduating (DS from high school after a somewhat tough personal year & DD from middle school), while I celebrate my 30th high school reunion this summer which I'm actually surprisingly looking forward to. It's been fun reconnecting with high school classmates many through FaceBook.
DH & I have had some more growing pains, but we seem to be moving closer again. I have definitely neglected him these last several months as I have focused my energies on other people who are also important to me. Marriage & motherhood are definitely harder than I imagined they would be. It's kind of like a dance, always moving & hopefully in step, sometimes faltering...then picking yourself up & moving to what seems like a more updated & even better tune. Relationships are definitely hard work & not to be taken for granted as I often remind myself.
Today, I am just thankful for a spark that came from some higher power. Perhaps, I need to thank Eckhart Tolle for The Power of Now, which I'm reading. Right now, Life is Good!
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