SPARKIE1964   61,258
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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Heard a free 1 hour session by Wayne Dyer who I frequently look to for spiritual guidance. He frequently talks about how we:

Must assume the feeling of the wishes fulfilled…

* Live in the feeling of what you want your body to be & it will be!
* Change the way you look at things & the things you see will change

I'm still struggling with the following questions in my desires:

* How do I embrace the feeling of DESERVING?
* What does it feel like to be LEAN & SEXY ?
* What does it feel like to be WEALTHY & SUCCESSFUL?
* How do I overcome my FEARS of failure or is it fear of success?

Dyer suggests that we must see ourselves as that which we want to be...So, WHO AM I (or want to be)?


Each night, I will RE-PROGRAM MY SUBCONCIOUS MIND & review this list.

Happy Tuesday

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 4/17/2012 8:30PM

    It sometimes takes work to remain positive but the results are worth the effort. -- Lou

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BOVEY63 4/17/2012 10:55AM


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JKTENTATIVE 4/17/2012 9:56AM

    YES!! Yes you are all those things and so much more!
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Monday, April 16, 2012

Had a fulfilling weekend now that the spark has been re-lit...Still feeling sore from Saturday's 3 hour workout, but it's the good kind of pain...Spent the day in NYC shopping with DD & her friend. Ended the day bonding with DD watching Modern Family & the Shahs of Sunset which we both love!

Happy Monday!

Back to tracking & see that I'm overeating...might explain the weight gain (duh!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZURDTA- 4/17/2012 9:01AM

    How lovely xx

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IUHRYTR 4/16/2012 11:37PM

    Here's to your fresh start emoticon! -- Lou

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BOVEY63 4/16/2012 1:20PM

    Sounds likea great weekend ~ would love the chance to shop in NY!

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CARRAND 4/16/2012 1:01PM

    It sounds like a lovely day.

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Saturday, April 14, 2012

I've been in hiding since last summer as life has taken twists & turns that I haven't managed all that well. I have peaked in from time to time in search of a spark to get back on track which has proven been more difficult than I had anticipated. Meanwhile, the weight has definitely crept up. I don't need to get on a scale (nor do I desire it) to know that my clothes are starting to not fit me again.

This morning, I thankfully finally woke well rested, even though I had woken up 3x during the night wondering if my teenage son had come home yet. For some unexplainable reason, I feel like a cloud is shifting & that the sun is finally rising. Maybe it's spring fever...Or maybe life is just getting good again right now. So, I'm hitting the pause button to acknowledge all that's good NOW.

After a light breakfast with DH, he dropped me off at the gym for morning spin class which I haven't been able to get back in the groove with. Then, I made it through an hour of total body conditioning. As I was getting ready to leave, I got a text from a new walking friend. I couldn't give up the offer to go for a walk on such a spectacular day, despite having already worked out for 2 hours. It was nice chatting, listening to the birds chirp & enjoying the wonderful smells of spring flowers.

I got home to see that DS was in complete room re-organization mode which is encouraging as he's been seemingly distant & mostly focused on fantasy baseball & any kind of professional or college sporting event on T.V. He seems completely disinterested in anything else in life other than sports which is why I keep suggesting he study sports management as clearly that's where his passion lies, but he's not confident that he can earn a decent living in it so he's pursuing a business degree. Maybe he'll get inspired over the next 4 years & find his true calling.

Thankfully, DS seems to be getting closer to making a college decision which has been a bonding experience, but stressful all the same. I'm slowly learning to let go which has been difficult for me as I'm one of those mothers who wants to do it all for my kids & to protect them at every corner. Learning that our kids must be allowed to falter so that they can learn to manage life on their own has been a most humbling experience (I'm still in training).

DD is also becoming more independent, yet at the same time more needy which is confusing. Proud that both kids are graduating (DS from high school after a somewhat tough personal year & DD from middle school), while I celebrate my 30th high school reunion this summer which I'm actually surprisingly looking forward to. It's been fun reconnecting with high school classmates many through FaceBook.

DH & I have had some more growing pains, but we seem to be moving closer again. I have definitely neglected him these last several months as I have focused my energies on other people who are also important to me. Marriage & motherhood are definitely harder than I imagined they would be. It's kind of like a dance, always moving & hopefully in step, sometimes faltering...then picking yourself up & moving to what seems like a more updated & even better tune. Relationships are definitely hard work & not to be taken for granted as I often remind myself.

Today, I am just thankful for a spark that came from some higher power. Perhaps, I need to thank Eckhart Tolle for The Power of Now, which I'm reading. Right now, Life is Good!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JKTENTATIVE 4/16/2012 9:26AM

    Glad to see that spark re-igniting - and that you had a good weekend.
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BOVEY63 4/15/2012 9:26AM

    Nice to see you back!

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ZURDTA- 4/15/2012 3:44AM

    Lots going on - but it sounds like a cloud is definitely moving away - everything seems to be moving in the right direction - and that is wonderful.


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Thursday, February 16, 2012

I've been out of sight from SP for 6 months as I struggle to find balance in my life which is an ongoing challenge for this Libra...2011 was a whirlwind year of highs & lows...

I watched my son fall in love for the 1st time & have his heart unexpectedly broken after a year & a half, which was truly painful for him & for me. He has experienced much disappointment this past year & has lost that youthful innocence that is all part of growing up & which is bittersweet. I am feeling lost as my first born embarks on a new chapter in his life with college around the corner. I am finding that I need to find new ways to communicate with him as he is pleading for his independence which he has earned. He has been such a big part of my life for 17 years...How do I let go? I already miss him & am having difficulty imagining life with him away from home. I feel like I'm losing him, yet also know that our close relationship is just evolving. I am unprepared for how quickly the years have flown by...

Meanwhile, my 13 year old daughter is blossoming into a beautiful person both inside & out. She celebrated her Bat Mitzvah, a milestone, which was fairly last minute/stressful & happy all at the same time. I am so proud of all that she accomplished in a short amount of time. She graduates from middle school this year & is off to high school in the fall which is hard to imagine. She is full of life & the source of my inspiration & joy these days. Her sheer zest for life is contagious! We've been finding new t.v. shows to watch as a family & are enjoying laughter & quality time.

I spent the better of the summer with my younger brother who is facing his own demons. I am in pure despair at the thought of losing him which I worry about. I have been there for him during some of his darkest days & love him dearly. I am at a loss & don't know what else I can do other then to just love him unconditionally & empathize. I pray that god is watching over him.

When those I love suffer, I feel their pain deeply which has taken me to my own depths of sorrow & depression again. In December, I suffered from bronchitis & severe cold for an entire month from all the stress & I finally collapsed at the end of year in exhaustion. I can't seem to find my way back & am not taking care of myself. How do I find that spark again?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POORGIRL_DIET 3/31/2012 10:52PM

    Welcome back hun and sorry for all the pain that your boy went through. I am sure he will find someone better who will and respect him for who he is in the future. Keep blogging hun and with the support from everyone you will do this

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BOVEY63 2/17/2012 11:38PM

    Happy to see you back! Sorry for the struggles you have been going through. I understand about the issues with you son. Mine had is heart broken and then left for college. It was difficult at first but I did get used to it and have found over an over again that he still needs his mom.

Prayers for your brother.

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IUHRYTR 2/17/2012 7:57PM

    emoticon back. Take things one healthy meal, one exercise, one positive day at a time. Come back to the support available here and know many people want you to be happy and successful. -- Lou

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    Welcome "back" and praying for you and those you love. I know your spark is still there - just waiting for a bit of oxygen that will allow it to flame.

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JKTENTATIVE 2/17/2012 7:31AM

    It is your sensitivity and deep compassion that is the source of both your pain and what makes you so wonderful.
You will get through this...keep blogging, keep sparking - because it helps no one if you don't take care of yourself.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Today was a day of 1sts! emoticon

* It was DS's 1st MRI to see if there's any permanent damange to knee emoticon

* Today, we felt a mild earthquake in NY which is a 1st for me & the kids emoticon

* DD had her 1st ever blood drawn for her annual physical, despite earthquake (proud of ya!) emoticon

* I indulged myself, without guilt, in delicious Panera bagels French Toast, Chocolate Chip, Asiago Cheese...amazing what an earthquake can do for the appetite emoticon

I am grateful for:

* Getting in an evening walk with BFF emoticon emoticon

* Finding lost pair of an earring emoticon

* Hair Color to wash that gray out emoticon

* Great dialogue with DS about work that we now share emoticon

* Convincing DD to finally unpack just so that she can repack emoticon

* Upcoming family vacation emoticon , especially as I feel there aren't
many more ahead as kids grow up & move on to their own lives which I'm still coming to understand as the next phase of my life emoticon

I AM filled with love, peace, abundance as well as a yearning to belong, but to what else I'm not yet sure. I AM wanting to be a part of something BIG that I have yet to uncover. Thank you LOU for recommending an interesting read to help me navigate the next chapter as it unfolds. I WILL accept the changes that are inevitable and welcome them with open arms. I WILL continue to take care of me so that I can have the energy to help others in my life and so that I don't get lost along the course of life as it happens...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 8/26/2011 6:43AM

    You're welcome. Life has a way of becoming filled with activities, things that seem as if they must be done right now, but it is when we make time for ourselves to simply enjoy living that we become less stressed and more appreciative of the fun of being alive. Let's make today one filled with happy memories. -- Lou

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LOGOULD 8/25/2011 4:25PM

    So glad to see you back, sticking with your program and finding joy in all the precious gifts that so many overlook on a daily basis. Life sure is busy - for both of us. I hace finally accepted full-time at work. Not exactly what I would have picked for myself, but need the benefits and they finally agreed that I could work full time and still be off on Sundays. That, unfortnately does not mean any more money per hour, but the added hours will just about cover the cost of the medical, dental, vision and prescription insurance. It's not easy keeping everything in balance though. Just adding the 5 or so extra hous a week is a challenge and I have to keep trying to adjust the schedule to make sure that I am not robbing to much time from the other things in life that make life worth living. KEEP SPARKING STRONGLY dear friend and enjoy that upcoming vacation!

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JKTENTATIVE 8/23/2011 11:14PM

    Thanks for being you! emoticon

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DANGEL117 8/23/2011 10:45PM

    emoticon GREAT BLOG!!! I'm still inspired by you to find something to be grateful for everyday. Today I am grateful that I found a YOGA teacher that wasn't scared to teach me, & I went back to YOGA class for the First Time in 2 Years! It Was GREAT!! I'm going back tomorrow!! emoticon

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