Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I had been struggling to regain that healthy & fit feeling I had a few months ago as I watched 10 pounds creep back on body (with a little help from me).
Last week, I was inspired by a new spark friend to repeat C25K which I had completed last year. Sure, I even ran a 5K this past September. Unfortunately, without much running practice over the winter, starting again wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. The thought of committing to 7 weeks again was daunting. Yet, it was looking like the best option at the moment as nothing was working.
Day 1 wasn't as easy as I had expected, but not as hard as the first go around. Day 2 was easier than day 1, especially with glorious spring weather over the weekend & BFF's great energy. I had planned on completing day 3 yesterday, but woke up to snow flurries & rain in NY. Did I dare to run on the dreaded treadmill when what I really wanted was some outdoor sunshine (which is finally back out today). Alas, I did nothing all day...I accepted an excuse which is inexcusable...
Then, last night, something inside me felt compelled to finish out week 1, even though there was no sunshine, I was tired with TOM & it was now 9:30 p.m..There was no other option than to JUST DO IT! EXCUSES BEGONE!
DD's positive spirit inspired me to put on the music & hop on my treadmill. She watched me sing, sweat & run while she finished her homework. I was feeling so pumped up from the run! I even told DD that if her 46 year old mom could run, then she could ace the many tests that she had this week (she confidently agreed...she's so in the zone & I'm proud of her).
I am proud that I found the strength within me to make it happen. It is my sheer will that'll guide me to reach my goals, despite minor bumps along the way that are there to teach me!....
Do YOU have the determination to do what it takes to reach YOUR goals?
Right now, I DO!
I even walked to the gym this morning for spin class (legs feel like jello)
What's holding you back?
Typically, I am in my own way...
Why have I gone over my calories 3 days in a row?
It stops today!!!
Sometimes, it just seems too hard to keep going...
The alternative (gaining weight back) is even harder...
Plateaus are even looking better (lol)
What are you going to do about it?
I WILL find that fit & healthy feeling again...
I AM not going to give up!
I WILL focus on ME as much as on everyone else...
When I show myself love, I receive even more from others
DH can't stop thanking me...He's been SO nice lately...
DD gives me lots of love, hugs & kindness
DS is asking ME for advice/help (mind you, he's 16 when you know it all)
I'm so happy that we'll be here for his junior prom.
Delaying our anniversary trip, even @ greater cost, was the right decision.
I AM acknowledging all the good that comes from caring for oneself...
I AM worth it...
So are YOU!
Whatchya waitin' for?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I read an interesting article in this week's Wall Street Journal (3/15) titled, "Is Happiness Overrated". The premise of the article is that we focus too much on happiness or immediate joy, rather than on long term & meaningful purpose in life or what is known as "eudaimonic well-being". Immediate pleasure (i.e. a great meal) is called "hedonic well-being" which is more likely to be short lived (& not as rewarding in the long run).
I had been gaining weight over the last few months (roughly 10 pounds that took a year to lose) from not taking care of myself. I started focusing on immediate satisfaction rather than on the long term benefits of feeling healthy. I recently hit 170 lbs which I refused to acknowledge on SP. With a little focus, I starting to see the scale go down to 166.6 yesterday (YAY!). Last night, we ate out at an italian restaurant & I ended up going over my calories for the day which is frustrating. The fleeting good feeling of delicious food was not worth the heavy feeling I have today. It doesn't help that I got interrupted sleep last night as I continued to wake up hourly awaiting DS returning from NYC (ultimately @ 4 a.m.).
So why do I continue making the same mistakes when I want to live a healthy lifestyle. I want to feel fit & lean. Eating gnocchi, fried calamari & garlic bread are NOT going to help me reach my weight loss goals...So, how do I find the discipline within me to continually stay the course???
"Sometimes things that really matter most are not conducive to short-term happiness". Did I really need all the carbs, fried food, heavy cream sauce & chocolate kisses (rhetorical question)! As I continue to read the article, I am reminded that a life of purpose & meaning is the road to a fulfilling life. The article goes on to say that the "stress that comes from juggling work & family may not be so bad for people after all...Life has challenges...A lot of it is how you confront those challenges." I have my good days where I sometimes amaze myself with all that I can accomplish in a given day...
Then, there are those days like today when I'm quite unhappy about all that I still yearn for in life & for my family that I may never achieve....Yet, as I say this, I AM also re-evaluating & re-defining what success, happiness & fulfillment all mean to ME. I recently made a new friend (another gift put on my path), who offered me a new book with lots of insight & answers to the many questions I ponder. From what I can tell so far, "THE GIFT OF AN ORDINARY DAY" (A Mother's Memoir), is a worthwhile read...
Back to the article...It seems that people with "high eudaimonic well-being process emotional information differently than those who are low in it...tending to use the pre-frontal cortex more, which is associated with higher-order thinking, including goal-setting, lanaguage & memory". How can use my failures as positives so that I can redirect my efforts to my life long goal of well being? I WILL focus on all that I AM grateful for, rather than compare myself to others who seem to have so much more...I WILL blog regularly with the hope of uncovering what's holding me back....Duh...that would be ME...
I find fulfillment in helping others reach their goals which is what inspired me to lead a team a few months ago. Work & personal responsibilities became unmanageable so I had to make a difficult decision to retrench. Raising two wonderful children has been rewarding which the article supports...I am focusing on the relationships that work for me as the article suggests. Although, I am really angry with DS who has yet to apologize for his tardiness last night & without notice which has left me feeling quite grumpy today from little sleep last night (he has since humbly apologized).
As they grow more independent, though, I wonder if I need another challenge. While I love the work that I do, I am not finding it as meaningful as it once was. I want to be engaged in work that can make a positive difference in the lives of others....What to do is not that simple, because I have been in the same industry for nearly 20 years & have reached an income level that I would lose if I made a big change now. To start over at 46 is daunting, especially given the financial responsibilities we face with college around the corner.
My quest for a fulfilling life continues...I AM seeking meaning where I can find it in parts of my life. I WILL continue to focus on my many blessings. I AM truly grateful for the life I have. I WILL not give up on reaching my goals. I AM reinventing myself & creating the ME that I AM slowly learning to love (work in progress - "I" am that is). In the process, I hope to spread the spark which inspires me to continue on this journey of well-being....
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Today, I really took the day off just for ME...
It was a glorious sunny day in NY which cheered me on through out the day. I kicked off the morning by repeating C25K Wk 1, Day 1 which I had previously completed last year. I hadn't been able to run recently since having stopped over the winter. I was looking for a short cut to running again, but realized there are none. It seems that people arrive in my life just when I need them. Yesterday, a new spark friend found me (thank you), who is nearing the completion of C25K. While reading her blog, she inspired me repeat C25K again...I remembered how quickly 7 weeks sped by last time. Besides, this time I was ready to start outdoors as I was familiar with the terrain, rather than on a treadmill. It was a great 20 minutes for day 1.
Then, I set off for the gym for a body conditioning class where I got my butt kicked (in a good way). I was about to go home when BFF showed up, so I stayed for a bit more to get in some more ST. I was feeling "good" sore from all the fitness...
I walked back home, showered & then picked up BFF for our mid-day massage. It was just what my body needed today. A good dose of fitness and pampering. I bought some new make up too...We picked up our favorite frozen yogurt treat just in time for DD to get home. Just as I was about to get home, she called to say that she was staying after school for gymnastics meeting which gave me another hour all for ME. I quickly headed to Marshalls & picked up handful of great new workout clothes that I need try on in the comfort of my own home (oh, how I hate trying on clothes in stores).
In between, I answered 3 work calls that I hadn't intended to as I truly wanted to tune out. It seems I have difficulty with shutting work out as it's such a part of my life (you'd think I own the company - lol). I'm happy I took the calls though as they gave me meaningful insight into some recent developments.
At dinner, I ended up grabbing some bread (whole wheat of course) to go with hummus which I love. I managed to stay within calorie range but not on the low end as I had hoped. Need to remember to eat more freggies, which I negelected today, so that I don't crave the carbs. I am also coming to realize that the VitaTops that I love might be what's holding me back. I've read that products with sugar alcohol can affect people differently. While I do love them, for now, they're on hold. I soaked up 8 glasses of water at last & am still thirsty, so shooting for 10 by bedtime.
I AM thankful for an all around great day. Making time for ME is important because I AM worth it! I already have a follow up massage scheduled for next Friday...
P.S. DH is starting to smile again (with his new and improved upper lip). He even said he "loves" me which I haven't heard in a while :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
It seems that I have successfully derailed much of my progress over the last year in just a few short months which is hard to deal with, but I only have myself to blame because I had choices. Regrettably, I made bad ones.
Recently, I decided to get back on track so that I could reach a certain weight goal by Mother's Day (MY gift to ME). However, the scale has been going in the wrong direction which is frustrating, especially since I am tracking, eating in calorie range, drinking water (o.k. maybe not 8 glasses), getting rest, exercising (maybe with a little less energy than before from the weight gain & not everyday), blah, blah, blah....
Yesterday, I freaked out when I got on the scale because it hit a number that I hadn't seen in a year (not in a good way if you know what I mean). I put on my gym top which felt snug/uncomfortable (not good). I was forced to take a good hard look at my choices. As I look back over the last few weeks, I see that I haven't been fully committed to this healthy lifestyle that I thought I had mastered over the last year. I snuck in a chocolate kiss (or 2-10), I didn't quite have 8 glasses of water, I had been eating more carbs than my body wants (even though it's in range) and perhaps I could have put more energy into my fitness routine or at least been regularly exercising which I can't say that I have...
I AM changin' things up a bit! Here's my commitment to myself, because I AM worth it...
1. No more chocolate kisses (for the timing being)
2. Taking a leave of absence from carbs (no bread, rice, pasta) for a week
3. Filling up instead on lots of veggies (great with Cedar's Tzaziki)
4. Adding back fruit (yummy with low carb yogurt or fat free reddi whip)
5. Soaking up more green tea to get my water intake
6. Getting in fitness CONSISTENTLY with a little bit each day
Last night, I caught a glimpse of the "Biggest Loser" on t.v. and the team's passion and enthusiasm is contagious...I recognize that it took a lifetime to build unhealthy habits and that it's going to take time to truly embrace a healthy lifestyle permanently. I WILL not allow life to get in the way of taking care of my health. Excuses Begone! I CAN and WILL do this...
Today, I got in just below my calories at 1235 (even treated myself to Edy's No Sugar ice cream - yummy), drank 4 cups of water (not enough), got to the gym for 30 minutes on elliptical + some strength training.
I AM actually taking a day off tomorrow and UNPLUGGING from electronics (hope I can stay away). My out of office messages reads as follows: "I'm taking a day off on Thursday (really). I will respond to your email on Friday. Happy St. Patrick's Day (I'm not Irish, but why not celebrate!) I'll kick off the day with a stop at the gym, then home to shower/change. BFF & I are treating ourselves to a massage (mine was a spa day prize from meeting work goal last year). May even through in a manicure if I can swing in time before DD gets home..I AM committed to my healthy and WILL make time for ME regularly...I WILL continue to change it up until I find what works permanently.
Who's with me....What will YOU do to change it up?
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