Thursday, March 17, 2011
Today, I really took the day off just for ME...
It was a glorious sunny day in NY which cheered me on through out the day. I kicked off the morning by repeating C25K Wk 1, Day 1 which I had previously completed last year. I hadn't been able to run recently since having stopped over the winter. I was looking for a short cut to running again, but realized there are none. It seems that people arrive in my life just when I need them. Yesterday, a new spark friend found me (thank you), who is nearing the completion of C25K. While reading her blog, she inspired me repeat C25K again...I remembered how quickly 7 weeks sped by last time. Besides, this time I was ready to start outdoors as I was familiar with the terrain, rather than on a treadmill. It was a great 20 minutes for day 1.
Then, I set off for the gym for a body conditioning class where I got my butt kicked (in a good way). I was about to go home when BFF showed up, so I stayed for a bit more to get in some more ST. I was feeling "good" sore from all the fitness...
I walked back home, showered & then picked up BFF for our mid-day massage. It was just what my body needed today. A good dose of fitness and pampering. I bought some new make up too...We picked up our favorite frozen yogurt treat just in time for DD to get home. Just as I was about to get home, she called to say that she was staying after school for gymnastics meeting which gave me another hour all for ME. I quickly headed to Marshalls & picked up handful of great new workout clothes that I need try on in the comfort of my own home (oh, how I hate trying on clothes in stores).
In between, I answered 3 work calls that I hadn't intended to as I truly wanted to tune out. It seems I have difficulty with shutting work out as it's such a part of my life (you'd think I own the company - lol). I'm happy I took the calls though as they gave me meaningful insight into some recent developments.
At dinner, I ended up grabbing some bread (whole wheat of course) to go with hummus which I love. I managed to stay within calorie range but not on the low end as I had hoped. Need to remember to eat more freggies, which I negelected today, so that I don't crave the carbs. I am also coming to realize that the VitaTops that I love might be what's holding me back. I've read that products with sugar alcohol can affect people differently. While I do love them, for now, they're on hold. I soaked up 8 glasses of water at last & am still thirsty, so shooting for 10 by bedtime.
I AM thankful for an all around great day. Making time for ME is important because I AM worth it! I already have a follow up massage scheduled for next Friday...
P.S. DH is starting to smile again (with his new and improved upper lip). He even said he "loves" me which I haven't heard in a while :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
It seems that I have successfully derailed much of my progress over the last year in just a few short months which is hard to deal with, but I only have myself to blame because I had choices. Regrettably, I made bad ones.
Recently, I decided to get back on track so that I could reach a certain weight goal by Mother's Day (MY gift to ME). However, the scale has been going in the wrong direction which is frustrating, especially since I am tracking, eating in calorie range, drinking water (o.k. maybe not 8 glasses), getting rest, exercising (maybe with a little less energy than before from the weight gain & not everyday), blah, blah, blah....
Yesterday, I freaked out when I got on the scale because it hit a number that I hadn't seen in a year (not in a good way if you know what I mean). I put on my gym top which felt snug/uncomfortable (not good). I was forced to take a good hard look at my choices. As I look back over the last few weeks, I see that I haven't been fully committed to this healthy lifestyle that I thought I had mastered over the last year. I snuck in a chocolate kiss (or 2-10), I didn't quite have 8 glasses of water, I had been eating more carbs than my body wants (even though it's in range) and perhaps I could have put more energy into my fitness routine or at least been regularly exercising which I can't say that I have...
I AM changin' things up a bit! Here's my commitment to myself, because I AM worth it...
1. No more chocolate kisses (for the timing being)
2. Taking a leave of absence from carbs (no bread, rice, pasta) for a week
3. Filling up instead on lots of veggies (great with Cedar's Tzaziki)
4. Adding back fruit (yummy with low carb yogurt or fat free reddi whip)
5. Soaking up more green tea to get my water intake
6. Getting in fitness CONSISTENTLY with a little bit each day
Last night, I caught a glimpse of the "Biggest Loser" on t.v. and the team's passion and enthusiasm is contagious...I recognize that it took a lifetime to build unhealthy habits and that it's going to take time to truly embrace a healthy lifestyle permanently. I WILL not allow life to get in the way of taking care of my health. Excuses Begone! I CAN and WILL do this...
Today, I got in just below my calories at 1235 (even treated myself to Edy's No Sugar ice cream - yummy), drank 4 cups of water (not enough), got to the gym for 30 minutes on elliptical + some strength training.
I AM actually taking a day off tomorrow and UNPLUGGING from electronics (hope I can stay away). My out of office messages reads as follows: "I'm taking a day off on Thursday (really). I will respond to your email on Friday. Happy St. Patrick's Day (I'm not Irish, but why not celebrate!) I'll kick off the day with a stop at the gym, then home to shower/change. BFF & I are treating ourselves to a massage (mine was a spa day prize from meeting work goal last year). May even through in a manicure if I can swing in time before DD gets home..I AM committed to my healthy and WILL make time for ME regularly...I WILL continue to change it up until I find what works permanently.
Who's with me....What will YOU do to change it up?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I borrowed this (with permission) from FIT-WHIT who I find truly inspiring...
Yes, YOU-- reading this blog, right now.
You need to know a few things...
Even though you might now always feel it, you ARE worthy.
You are worthy of life. Worthy of health. Worthy of love. Worthy of respect. Worthy of effort and accomplishment and work and success.
You deserve to live healthily and be happy. (It's not selfish to want these things!) You deserve to feel good about your choices. You DESERVE to go to sleep each night knowing that you made the best of your day, and looking forward to tomorrow.
You know that body you saw in the mirror this morning? The one that you crinkled your nose at a bit, and pinched an inch on your hips? That's the ONLY body you'll ever have. It serves you well-- you need to serve IT well. Your body is your only way to be present in this world. It's time to start truly appreciating what a magnificent gift it is.
Even though you didn't get that job you wanted, you are NOT a failure. You are hard-working, intelligent, compassionate, inspirational, energetic, and bound for success. You have many roads ahead in life. This particular one was not meant to be. [Adlib for ME...Sparkie, even though you gained back the weight you worked to lose and have a ways to go to reach your weight goal, you are NOT a failure. You are hard-working, intelligent, compassionate, inspirational, energetic, and bound for success. Sparkie...you need to regroup, get it together & start again! Giving up is not an option.]
Change directions. It's scary, but just might be exactly what leads you where you want to be.
You don't know what the future holds, and you've got to remember that THAT'S OKAY. (You're not SUPPOSED to know!) The most exciting part about life is anticipating what's next-- about realizing each day that you have so much more to learn and do! There is so much in store for you-- you haven't yet begun to barely tap into your potential.
You might not believe this now, but you DO make a difference. You have changed your life, and work each day to make it even better. Your choices effect those around you-- and have for the better! Live each day in appreciation for the marvelous gift that it is, and the gift you CAN be and ARE to this world, this place, this moment.
You worry too much. Let it go. (Seriously.) As the guy says in the song about sunscreen (to the class of '99), "Worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum." Worry does nothing but add stress and misery to this moment. Let it go.
You know how jealous you are of so-and-so? Of their life, their job, their talents, their clothes, their body, or whatever else? You need to let that go, too. Jealousy is a waste, and only makes you appreciate your own life less. You have nothing to win or prove to anyone but yourself.
Remember these things. Read them and speak them when you're feeling like this. Tap into your well of self-love, and don't ever forget that you are worthy.
[Friends- if this "note to self" is helpful for you at all on a personal level, please feel free to print, save, re-post, or fine-tune any aspect of it to suit your needs. If re-posting to SP, please give FIT-WHIT a shout-out, but if using for your own reminders just use freely. This self-note will be printed and hung by my bedroom mirror to remind ME each day of these things. Stay positive, friends, and REMEMBER these things]
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I'm taking a few moments to recognize all that I am thankful for right now....
1. DH starting to feel better from reconstructive surgery on his upper lip
2. DD having lots of fun with friends & celebrations
3. DS balancing a hectic schedule in junior year of high school
4. Some down time at work to allow me to breathe
5. Sunshine in NY with warm weather around the corner
6. Long walk with BFF
7. Japanese demonstrating civility during a national crisis (lesson for all)
I AM considering how insignificant the challenges that I sometimes feel seem in light of the many tragedies and changes happening around the world. I AM thinking of the millions of people in Japan for whom I WILL continue to pray for. I AM observing a shift in mankind around the globe as well as in me personally. I WILL embrace today for it is all that we really ever have.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
I'm having serious mixed emotions today (this is a long one). I feel a bit melancholy/blue mixed with grateful at the same time (is this possible?). I'm not sure if I'm at that turning point in life (mid-life) where I'm questioning the meaning of life (or is that too deep). I've been doing a lot of reading & thinking which has me asking myself lots of questions...
I'm worried about DH who had Mohl's procedure yesterday & looks like he has a terrible fat lip from a brawl. Upon returning to the dermatologist for stitches this mornining, he learned that his lip might look deformed after it heals. He quickly called a plastic surgeon who is family of a good friend. Thankfully, he had just returned from a trip to Africe AND was delayed for today's surgery so he could squeeze him in. We just met with him to find out that he does need reconstructive surgergy which is scheduled for Friday. How fortunate that he was available on such short notice & gave hubby confidence that he'll look normal once he's done...DH is 53 & doesn't take care of himself. I've been encouraging him to exercise over the years to no avail. He doesn't sleep well, works all the time & rarely rests. I'm pleased that he agreed to a get away in May to Aruba to celebrate our 20th anniversary with dear friends we met on our honeymoon (our 1st trip without the kids). But, I worry about him...
I'm both happy & sad that the kids are growing up so quickly. I'm proud that they seem to be well adjusted adolescents, especially when I see so many teenagers struggling to balance school, peer pressure, parental demands & their own responsibilities. I'm blessed that they are such good kids...I have more time for ME as they grow more independent. I want them to still need me in some ways, yet feel stressed at times with all my responsibilities. I'm tearful that they'll be gone in a few years & pray that our relationship is strong enought that they'll always be in my life...
I'm thankful for BFF whose friendship has truly been a gift in my life. She helps to keep me grounded when I fall off the deep end from time to time (thank you JK). I'm sad to know that some other friendships I've had over the years were not in fact real. I'm feeling left out of not having been included in recent celebrations, yet I'm grateful for the time it has given me to rest & take care of me. I've never felt comfortable with belonging to a group of any kind (whether friends, religious or organizations), yet I long for belonging for the first time in my life...To what, I'm not quite sure yet.
I'm thankful to have a career that affords me the opportunity to work from home over the last 8 years so that I can also be there for my kids. After 15 years at my job, I wonder if I could have done even more with my work. I see lots of opportunities that I passed up or didn't pursue so that I wouldn't travel & be there for my kids. I miss the travel & see that I can now do more as my kids grow up. I'm frustrated that no matter how hard I work, we still have more bills to pay. I'm thankful that I have a great job that gives me the oppotunity to give my kids a good life (wish I could do even more). Yet, some days I'm just exhausted & wish I could stop working.
I wish we could give DD the celebration she wants for her coming of age AND take her on the trip she also wants; however, we can only afford to do one so she's chosen the trip which makes DH happy too (I'm not even sure we can afford the trip though). I'm worried about how we'll pay for college which is around the corner. I can't even imagine how we'll ever retire with large expenses ahead of us. Lately, I feel like I'm working to pay for taxes & tutors...I'm also thankful to pay taxes as it means that I have a job. I am grateful for the abundance in our life & know that it will all work out...
I'm thankful that we have food to eat, especially with so many who are starving around the globe. I'm tired of working so hard to lose the weight that seems eternally stuck to my body. I'm happy that I made it to the gym for 2 hours yesterday as I work to regain that fit feeling again, although I'm quite sore from serious ST.
I got below from a daily blog I subscribe to that is so fitting. I WILL read it over & over again to keep me going with one foot in front of the other...
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
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