Wednesday, February 02, 2011
My binge eating has gotten completely out of control and is starting to really effect how I am physically feeling. The old expectations sets by family members about what I should and should not be eating are back...and I am rebelling, AGAIN. I KNOW I shouldn't care about what they are saying to me..but seriously, if any of you guys have problems with binge eating..you know. I feel like I can't control myself at all. It's so irritating that after all of this, I am not strong enough to give them the middle finger and just move on.
I know eating crap isn't healthy for me, but I still do it. I don't know what to do! This is no way to live! Every time I am successful and get down to like 142-143, I start bingeing again. This number is significant to me because that's when the comments really started when I first started gaining weight. Could it be that I subconsciously don't want to get below that???
I don't know what to do :(...every plan I try I fail. I need to start seeing someone but every office I call isn't seeing patients it seems like. I need to put more effort into it..we had a snow storm hit here and it's badddd....everything is closed.....everything!
I'll talk to you guys soon! :)