Monday, October 28, 2013
I am now two months postop total hysterectomy...fortunately I had the laparascopic procedure so recovery was not that bad. I am officially going through "the change" and I can envision a better life for me, a more comfortable life in my own skin. When I was younger it was all about looks...now that I am a bit wiser, I realize it is about living a longer life and feeling well while doing that. Of course my ego continues to tell me it is about looks, but my body tells me otherwise. I have been struggling with some severe foot pain, but my motivation simply grows and is not hindered by this momentary speed bump. Today...I am drinking more water...my breakfast...a protein shake (suggested by my physician), yoga breathing...a morning stretch...that is a lot of positive change for one morning.
PLANNING IS THE KEY. I am realizing now that planning is the key to all. I kept hearing myself say "well I am traveling...what else can I do but stop at a drive-thru" uh...hello Carol....sweet...excuse-making Carol. Planning is the answer...plan for these trips...plan for being hungry from time to time when poor choices may be very easy to make...have a back-up. Bottled water and nutritious supplement bars/snacks would be a great way to combat the cravings or drive-thru situations. I know that I can do this. I know my body is not giving me a choice, which is fantastic. I am learning to love what I see in the mirror, and to look at myself with a graceful and caring eye. I am replacing the negative inner monologue with encouragement instead of hatefulness.
Be your own best friend...and tell yourself what you need with gracefulness and caring thoughts/words. Take care of yourself. Speak only to yourself with love and careful discipline. You can do this...I can do this. Let's do this together.
I am not good at asking for help. I need help. Community help me. Sparkpeople help me!
Here is a saying that used to be recited at a women's group I went to "Place your hand in mine, and together we can do what we never could alone."
So...friends...place your virtual hand in mine and let's help each other to be the best version of ourselves.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
A note to myself: Dear Carol, I am glad you decided to return to Spark and to begin again to journey toward a healthier life. It will be difficult, but you will have friends along the way to keep you going when you feel like you've had enough. Today is a single day...try to just get through each hour reminding yourself that you are worth the time and effort to feel better, look better and enjoy what life has to offer. Be well Carol and Be nice to Carol!
I want to see you back here tomorrow...if for no other reason than to add another entry in your blog.
Blessings...your faith will sustain you.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I have been having trouble lately finding nice exercise clothes that fit, are comfortable, and not horrible looking. I also have been having trouble with exercises and yoga poses that my current belly size/shape don't allow me to do. I have decided to stop trying to force the world to conform to me and I refuse to conform to the world. I will be transformed by this experience and find my own way.
I attend a yoga class once per week that is a beginner class and not in a brand-name, designer studio with outrageous prices and filled with students who have obviously been doing yoga for a long enough time to achieve the bendy-straw-type-poses.
I love myself...finally after years of hating myself. I am learning to love my figure even though it hinders me. I don't love it enough to keep it...my body has reached a place in its journey where aches and pains and arthritis cause me to finally want to change my unhealthy ways. I have been working on my mind first and foremost, delving into why I repeat bad habits. Then I started to do things that offered healing to my spirit. Now I am taking it one day at a time, one moment at a time to do things that offer healing to my joints.
Never give up. Take your time. Find what works for you. The suggestion to me was to set achievable goals for yourself. I started by meditating one minute each morning...just one minute. Then, I extended it to 5 minutes each morning and on to 10 minutes. The practice then spread to 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening and that is where it stays for now. I started attending one beginner yoga class per week. It is at 7:45 in the evening and seems to be a great time not to interfere with other family responsibilities. There is a water aerobics class at my YMCA on Saturday mornings that I try to attend fairly regularly. Small changes. Nothing too taxing. A lifestyle change does not happen overnight for this girl...it is a process, a process that will take as long as I want it to...but as quick as my aches and pains want it to. Love your spirit...it is who you really are. Listen to your body. Everyone has their own journey, their own path and there are very different things for different people. For me, listening to my body and really hearing what it needs is first and foremost to my personal success.
Blessings and peace
Om Shanti Peace
Monday, July 23, 2012
I am older than I once was, have physical limitations I didn't used to have and have more weight on my body that ever before...and everytime I decide to do something about it...there seem to be only options for young, skinny, energetic gymnast types who have cornered the marked on exercise class options and routines. I AM OVER IT.
Where, I ask you, is the option for the 220 lb. 43 year old who has had back surgery and a 8-5 job with children to pick up and a family to feed??? Where is it?
I am the turtle in this race. No more quick fixes or fast cures. I am a turtle darn it and I am actually (for the first time ever) proud of being a turtle. I am going to take this one step at a time, one hour at a time, and by gosh...I am no longer trying to match up to some unreachable unreal standard set by the media and pop culture. I am a mom and so proud of it. I do not need to be anything other than a healthy person who is a loving mom. To each his own...and my own is not trying to be a 20-year-old. I am in love with my 40's, but my knees aren't...my jeans aren't, my pocket-book isn't since I keep having to go out and buy the next size up.
So, enough I say...enough is enough. I just want to dig into my psyche and figure out where the motivations of my heart and soul have gone wrong and work on those things, and in the meantime while I am rediscovering myself (sounds goofy, but I don't care anymore...I'm doing it) I will eat the next right meal, and find one minute, two minutes, three minutes, five minutes, 10, 15, 20 and even 30 minutes to stretch, exercise and take care of myself at my pace. I just wish I could find a class at the gym for beginners that happens any other time outside my work hours.
Seems like the YMCA is just not willing or able to have the beginner class for the slow as you go, committed new beginner with the physical limitations who just wants a better life and to feel better.
Maybe I should start my own at my house and see if I can get any sparkpeople in a similar predicament to join me in my quest.
Keep on keeping on people...we didn't get here overnight, and trying to lose x pounds by x date is just an expectation waiting to turn into resentment.
Carol! Today I am trying to do the next right thing....because it is PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION I am striving to achieve.
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous
1.We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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