Sunday, November 11, 2012
Today SparkCoach tells me that I am entering Stage 3 of SparkPeople - - Lifestyle changes. My task for today is to think about why I want to lose weight. This is a good question. Like many, I have struggled with my weight for years and NOT struggled with my weight for years. It has only been in the last very few years that I have decided that I do like myself again and had almost decided that I could live with the weight. Almost like magic, I lost 20 lbs from September 2011 until September 2012 but I didn't know it until I logged into SparkPeople and posted my weight over a year later. I guess I had done something because it truly wasn't magic that caused me to lose 20 lbs in 13 months. I think the key is that I accepted myself and my life but also decided not to be a victim. Outwardly, not much has changed. I still don't have the ideal marriage but I am not allowing the emotional and verbal abuse to hurt me. I still don't have whatever it takes to leave but I am no longer allowing someone else to "make me bad". I have learned if I choose to feel bad, that is my choice. I have also learned that not everything is my fault or my responsibility. Granted it has taken 60 years to get here -- but the journey has prepared me for who I am today and I wouldn't take anything for my experience. I have learned. As I continue to ramble, I do realize that I want to be healthy and not a certain weight. I have set a goal weight - - based on a healthy BMI - - and I have about 60 lbs to go but I want to be healthy when I retire. I want to be able to climb steps and feel good and go places. I want to be able to wear common people clothes and not royal size clothes...if you know what I mean. I am doing this for me. It is amazing how as I have that attitude, all other parts of my life are starting to fall into place also!
of the rest of my wonderful, wonderful life!!!!