Dear me

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Dear Me,
I know you don't always believe in yourself, I know it's not always rainbows and flowers for you. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes you are tired, sometimes sick. Sometimes you just don't want to. But you have a vison for the future, you have goals, hopes, dreams, a plan, a path you are walking that is leading to a future you never believed was possible.

One day, one choice, one step at a time. Some days are hard, some easy. Some filled with reasons to rejoice, others reasons to cry. Sometimes the scale is your best friend, others your worst enemy. Sometimes you are hungry, other times full. Sometimes you eat clean, other times not as much. But you are trying, every day, in every way you can, to be stronger, faster, smarter in your new healthy life. Records have been broken, inches and pounds have been lost. Miles have been walked/jogged/ridden, fitness hours have been tracked. Food choices have been healthier, friends have been made, sweat has dripped and compliments have been given.

You are becoming you. The cocoon is loosening. You aren't going to quit this time. It will happen, you will achieve your goals. You are smart, funny, big hearted and loving. You give as much as you can to everyone you meet. You love your neighbor, genuinely, truly. You want to be more than you are, to give more than you have and love bigger than you can imagine.

You are giving your body the building blocks for your future, to live the quality of life you've always dreamed of. You are poised to achieve your dreams, and you must not forget it. Today may not be easy, tomorrow might not be either, but you know where your past actions led you. Tears, questions, why's, that is the life you knew. Filling up the hole in your heart with food until you didn't recognize the woman in the mirror anymore. You know where that path leads, you've been down that road for many, many years and it leads nowhere. So now, today, make the choices that lead to your future. The future you dreamt of as a girl. The health and vitality that you were destined to know.

Don't forget how far you've come, don't forget the feeling of your successes. Don't fall back. Walk, run, crawl your way to your prized future. No one can do it for you and you have the best helping hands to guide your moves and position you exactly where you need to be. Hold tight, dont' give up. Exercise smart, eat smart, live smart, be smart.

I love you and so does your family, be the best you can be, so that you can get to know the woman you were born to be. Congratulations on your hard work, keep doing it, you will acheive your goals, one day, one week, one month at a time.

All my love,
Me

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CROOKEDLETTER 9/25/2011 8:31PM

Cheers!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

FLYCHRISTI 9/25/2011 10:07AM

How beautiful!!!How exciting!!!How motivating!!! You are Report Inappropriate Comment

MOJO_RISIN 9/24/2011 9:22PM

being your own biggest cheerleader is what this journey takes, because as u noted not every day is a winner, but YOU are a winner because you are taking steps to change your life, you aren't putting it off til the new year, you aren't waiting for conditions to be perfect, you are doing it NOW and tackling every struggle that lands in your path. spark on! Report Inappropriate Comment

DANLIN60 9/24/2011 9:15PM

This was beautiful, I actually got teary eyed, What a wonderful idea. Good for you!! Report Inappropriate Comment

WENDYLEE15 9/24/2011 6:48PM

and beautiful!! Report Inappropriate Comment

MAESTRACH 9/24/2011 6:25PM

WOOO HOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

EXENEC 9/24/2011 5:43PM

Loved this! People should be more kind to themselves. Best of luck in your journey to better health. Report Inappropriate Comment

Accuracy????

Friday, September 23, 2011

The automatic calories burned calculator says that I burned 600 calories this morning on my 7.15 mile bike ride, nearly 200 more than my 5K walk/jog yesterday. And I just can't see how that is true. The bike ride was 35 minutes, the walk/jog 45, I was about to keel over, drenched with sweat on the walk/jog, on the ride, not so much. I just have a feeling the calories burned might be a little off? Has anyone ever thought this before? I guess this is another question for the message boards.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEPPERCHILD 9/23/2011 8:53PM

I just purchased a heart monitor for the exact reason. The SP numbers are good but I wanted a bit more accuracy. The important thing is that you are moving and sweating and dropping lbs....and that's all good. Keep up the good work. Happy Friday. Report Inappropriate Comment

CROOKEDLETTER 9/23/2011 3:18PM

So plopping the figures into the SP tracker, it says I would've burned close to 400 calories. Since I weigh less, it is quite possible you burned 50 to 200 calories more than that. SP always is under my iPod/nike tracker for walking/running, often by quite a bit. Personally, I go by the SP figures because I have to assume that I overestimate how much of a burn I get when do things like "Playing with Kids," which is a category on SP. So I think it balances out. The only thing to be careful of is making sure you get enought to eat if you're burning like mad. I stalled a little on weight loss for a week- some because we won't see weight changes every week and also possibly because I wasn't getting myself quite enough food for how much exercise I was doing- not intentional, just hadn't adjusted the Fitness Setting. Since I adjusted it and am eating in the higher calorie range, I've begun to lose again. Comment edited on: 9/23/2011 3:20:04 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

VERONICAVW_140 9/23/2011 3:02PM

Sorry, I missread your post. I thought you were using a heart rate monitor. I hope you find out what the difference in the calorie burn was! :) Comment edited on: 9/23/2011 3:03:38 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

MOJO_RISIN 9/23/2011 2:45PM

it depends how the calories were gauged...a heart rate monitor you wear that continuously monitors (not like mine where u have to keep checking in so if you are high or low when u check in it's not an accurate picture - hence i don't use it anymore!) is going to be more accurate than a built into the machine calorie display. u can compare readings you are getting by inputting into the spark tracker and seeing what it guesses for that particular activity - but not sure that this takes into account individual weight or if its a general tally, plus for biking and walking it has MPH as a factor, without some sort of conversion/measuring who knows how fast u went the WHOLE ride or an average thereof...if u are more sweaty and challenged you are probably right and burned more doing the walk/run than the ride. follow your heart! u know what's up! :) Report Inappropriate Comment

GODDESSELLIE07 9/23/2011 1:29PM

was the 600 calories based on the machine, Spark, heart rate monitor? Report Inappropriate Comment

Unexpected compliments

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Am I ready for this? Am I really? I've only lost 11 pounds and already the compliments, from people who don't even know I've lost any weight, are coming. On my lunch break today, the landlord (who happens to be a younger/attractive guy) told me that I looked "really good today". Uhhhhh, what?????? 254.2 people, yeah, um, can I handle compliemnts already. I just smiled and said thanks. But I'm a little wierded out. OK, really wierded out. I'm not used to favorable attention for my looks, maybe my witty personality, or something else non-looks related, but men don't usually compliment my looks. I mean I've known the landlord for 2.5 years, never anything remotely complimentary has ever come out of his lips towards me. Uh, help me!!! Cuz I'm imagining this is only the begining????? What did you guys do in this situation? Did it make you feel wierd? I've just been so heavy for so long, still am, and am finally realizing that I won't be forever, and how am I going to deal with this? I've never been the right weight for my height, EVER. I was an overweight child, the last time I was a normal weight, I was 4. OK, so, any ideas people? I don't want to be freaked everytime a compliment comes. But I don't want to get a big head. I mean I have a long way to go before I'm going to have to worry about the kind of attention I am worried about..............BUT already???? 11 pounds???? Yikes, this is wierd.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYLEE15 9/23/2011 8:33PM

That is great!! I can't even begin to discuss the compliment subject and be helpful about it!! I don't feel comfortable when I get them at all..and they have even ruined my weight loss efforts in the past.My weight is a kind of comfort zone for me..and when it starts coming off and the compliments start..I feel VERY uncomfortable.That's when ( in the past) I would start putting weight back on to get me back to my comfort zone. Wow..sorry..that just brought back a lot of memories for me !!I really needed to read this about now..Thank you!! Something I really need to work on!! Crazy ..I guess we are just to smile and say thank you..easier said than done sometimes..you'll be fine..your doing GREAT!! Report Inappropriate Comment

BYEFATNANNY 9/23/2011 3:49PM

On the contrary, I miss it....I'd lost 62 lbs and stayed and now they have stopped. I miss it and the motivation it gave me. I agree with Maestrach, it's a confidence and attitude that comes out too. Go with it, learn to enjoy it, you'll hear a lot more. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOJO_RISIN 9/22/2011 9:53PM

lol, it is strange, whether it is a compliment or not, to know that people are observing you...i am just thankful people don't say 'boy you've gotten heavy!' but say things like 'you are lookin fabulous!' i have a pad answer if someone feels the need to say something to me (not a fan of compliments or comments really) i always just compliment them back, that way it deflects it from me and makes it less awkward! Report Inappropriate Comment

MAESTRACH 9/22/2011 8:40PM

11 pounds is more than just weight. There's a whole new attitude and confidence that you're exuding and that's what most guys pick up on. I TOTALLY understand how you're feeling though. That's how I felt when Mike asked me out. He'd been checking me out for weeks (as I had him, I'll be honest) according to a friend of his. Mike says he couldn't figure out how to approach a pretty, confident woman and that's what took so long. Report Inappropriate Comment

FITNAPTURAL 9/22/2011 7:27PM

Congrats! That's awesome and say thanks politely while jumping up and down with glee in your head. It's always great to get those unexpected day makers :) Report Inappropriate Comment

The wonder of it all

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I just finished my second 5K attempt, and although I thought I might turn around before getting halfway, I pushed myself, and finished 5 minutes faster than my last attempt, which wasn't even a full 3.1....(?) miles. I am really impressed with myself this morning!! I didn't run that much or that fast, but I did power walk the whole time I wasn't running, and I am a big pool of sweaty goodness right now. I feel sorry for my workout clothes! One thing that was hard is I have a plantars wart on the ball of my left foot, so I compensate for the pain there and place my weight on my heel and now that hurts too. So the whole left foot is in a lot of pain, and I still did great on my walk/jog. Yes, today is a great day. Also thanks to my good friend FREETHEGODDESS I have been really inspired by some of the most AMAZING blogs these last few days. It is just overwhelming what the human spirit can acheive with a little knowledge, love and encouragement! I love this community so much and am so proud and overjoyed to be a part of it!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYLEE15 9/23/2011 8:22PM

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CROOKEDLETTER 9/22/2011 6:19PM

Yay! Bursts of running is the way to go to get your body use to the movement. Besides, it also means you're doing interval training which burns more calories. I have to admit that isn't why I do the bursts of running. I do it because it is fun and makes me feel like I did when I raced to get to base during marathon hide n seek games. Do you find that biking aggravates your left foot also? Report Inappropriate Comment

PEPPERCHILD 9/22/2011 3:55PM

Keep it up and you'll be at your destination in no time. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOJO_RISIN 9/22/2011 1:55PM

my left foot is funky after doubling up on blisters, i think tonite i will forgo the walk and do some weights and pilates, limping along with ya buddy ;) Report Inappropriate Comment

P0KERS0PH 9/22/2011 1:32PM

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Is this normal?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I am seeing an ebb and flow to my hunger. The last two mornings I have not been hungry at all. I forced myself to eat, and I felt really sick afterwards. This morning was the same, and I just haven't eaten. I am still not hungry and it is nearly 12:20 pm. I have heard a bit about intuitive eating on here, but it seems to go against the spark regulations on calorie intake/outake ranges. I don't want to sabotage my health or weight loss, but I just can't eat when I am not hungry. I have burned nearly 400 calories this morning on my bike ride and I don't know why I am not hungry. It is a little wierd because I have spent the last 10 years being hungry 80% of the time, no matter how much I ate. I am going to go to the message boards to see if I can get an answer to this calorie intake/outake/intuitive eating issue. I really don't want to hurt myself, but I can't be sick just because I am forcing myself to eat. Has anyone expereinced this yet? Is this just a normal part of the journey?

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BYEFATNANNY 9/22/2011 3:45PM

When I started here it was because of diabetes. I went to a class and she told us that after decreasing our portion sizes we'd be hungry for 2 months and at that point we would no longer feel the hunger. She was right on, I cut my portions way back (because I'd been eating way too much) and it took exactly 2 months and after that I NEVER got hungry. I space my little meals evenly throughout the day (diabetics need to, but its a good idea for everyone) and even though I'm not hungry, I eat a little bit. Try a very small portion and maybe you won't get sick, but you also won't be starving later and overeat. Best wishes and good luck. Report Inappropriate Comment

FREETHEGODDESS 9/22/2011 2:42AM

There are some mornings I wake up with my stomach growling and other days when I am busy and it is 1pm before I get hungry. It is all mysterious to me as well. All I know is that eating a small meal in the morning will get your metabolism going and give you more energy to do your work/workouts. Maybe you could have a lowfat yogurt in the morning. Yogurt is supposed to be easy to digest also, protein with calcium is a great start to the day. Report Inappropriate Comment

BUTTERFLYAT38 9/21/2011 11:47PM

what! I am hungry alot lately..envious..give me some of that!! LOL...Thanks for sharing though. The thing is that sometimes if you have trained your body to eat late for example and skip breakfast...your body overcompensates later. My motto when I am being good is if i am not hungry for example especially for the first meal of the day..make it healthy and small portion. to set a good example for the day. Hope that helps..right now I myself am dealing with hungry all the time esp with my increased runs... Report Inappropriate Comment

JENNSWIMS 9/21/2011 9:14PM

I am terrible at knowing when I'm hungry, other than when my tum is growling. Seriously. However, when I switched from a crappy diet to an awesome clean diet, it took 2 or 3 days until I experienced real hunger. So I ate minimally those few days. My hunger does not usually feel like a stomach thing. I get grumpy and lightheaded and lots of things other than what I expect (tummy growls). Report Inappropriate Comment

WENDYLEE15 9/21/2011 5:30PM

Some days I feel I am forcing myself to get to my minimum calories in my range..I am like you..after all those years of eating all the time ( even when I wasn't hungry)..now I am to the point that I refuse to eat unless I am hungry.I don't like eating then feeling sick because I felt as though I shouldn't have.It does seem to slow my weight loss .I notice it on the scales when I have had a week with more days like that but..I simply made the decision to not eat unless I feel the need...I am trying to let my body tell me when I need to eat... .I guess a lot of people would say this is the wrong thing to do..but it's where I am at right now. .. Good luck and keep us up to date as to what you find out !! Report Inappropriate Comment

KARENE10 9/21/2011 4:54PM

I WISH that there were days I wasn't hungry. I am a-l-w-a-y-s hungry Report Inappropriate Comment

WYO_CASEY 9/21/2011 4:50PM

I haven't been hungry for the last two days but have been forcing myself to eat. Once in a while, a little below the calorie line isn't too bad, but making it a pattern is! Report Inappropriate Comment

PEPPERCHILD 9/21/2011 4:36PM

Agree that it is very normal. That's when I grab one of my protein drinks that I listed on My Favorite Things so that I am least at the bottom of the minimum of my calorie requirements the day. Sometimes I don't get there but I try to get as close as possible. It is extremely important that you eat something or you body will begin storing calories which then translate to a plateau or weight gain. If you're not hungry find the few things that will give you the carbs, protein, and fat that you need for the day. I know there is a daily blog on this topic because I read it a while back. Report Inappropriate Comment

P0KERS0PH 9/21/2011 4:08PM

I get days when I am not hungry at all, and days when I want to eat everything in sight! I think it's just part and parcel of this whole journey Report Inappropriate Comment