Saturday, September 24, 2011
I know you don't always believe in yourself, I know it's not always rainbows and flowers for you. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes you are tired, sometimes sick. Sometimes you just don't want to. But you have a vison for the future, you have goals, hopes, dreams, a plan, a path you are walking that is leading to a future you never believed was possible.
One day, one choice, one step at a time. Some days are hard, some easy. Some filled with reasons to rejoice, others reasons to cry. Sometimes the scale is your best friend, others your worst enemy. Sometimes you are hungry, other times full. Sometimes you eat clean, other times not as much. But you are trying, every day, in every way you can, to be stronger, faster, smarter in your new healthy life. Records have been broken, inches and pounds have been lost. Miles have been walked/jogged/ridden, fitness hours have been tracked. Food choices have been healthier, friends have been made, sweat has dripped and compliments have been given.
You are becoming you. The cocoon is loosening. You aren't going to quit this time. It will happen, you will achieve your goals. You are smart, funny, big hearted and loving. You give as much as you can to everyone you meet. You love your neighbor, genuinely, truly. You want to be more than you are, to give more than you have and love bigger than you can imagine.
You are giving your body the building blocks for your future, to live the quality of life you've always dreamed of. You are poised to achieve your dreams, and you must not forget it. Today may not be easy, tomorrow might not be either, but you know where your past actions led you. Tears, questions, why's, that is the life you knew. Filling up the hole in your heart with food until you didn't recognize the woman in the mirror anymore. You know where that path leads, you've been down that road for many, many years and it leads nowhere. So now, today, make the choices that lead to your future. The future you dreamt of as a girl. The health and vitality that you were destined to know.
Don't forget how far you've come, don't forget the feeling of your successes. Don't fall back. Walk, run, crawl your way to your prized future. No one can do it for you and you have the best helping hands to guide your moves and position you exactly where you need to be. Hold tight, dont' give up. Exercise smart, eat smart, live smart, be smart.
I love you and so does your family, be the best you can be, so that you can get to know the woman you were born to be. Congratulations on your hard work, keep doing it, you will acheive your goals, one day, one week, one month at a time.
All my love,
Friday, September 23, 2011
The automatic calories burned calculator says that I burned 600 calories this morning on my 7.15 mile bike ride, nearly 200 more than my 5K walk/jog yesterday. And I just can't see how that is true. The bike ride was 35 minutes, the walk/jog 45, I was about to keel over, drenched with sweat on the walk/jog, on the ride, not so much. I just have a feeling the calories burned might be a little off? Has anyone ever thought this before? I guess this is another question for the message boards.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Am I ready for this? Am I really? I've only lost 11 pounds and already the compliments, from people who don't even know I've lost any weight, are coming. On my lunch break today, the landlord (who happens to be a younger/attractive guy) told me that I looked "really good today". Uhhhhh, what?????? 254.2 people, yeah, um, can I handle compliemnts already. I just smiled and said thanks. But I'm a little wierded out. OK, really wierded out. I'm not used to favorable attention for my looks, maybe my witty personality, or something else non-looks related, but men don't usually compliment my looks. I mean I've known the landlord for 2.5 years, never anything remotely complimentary has ever come out of his lips towards me. Uh, help me!!! Cuz I'm imagining this is only the begining????? What did you guys do in this situation? Did it make you feel wierd? I've just been so heavy for so long, still am, and am finally realizing that I won't be forever, and how am I going to deal with this? I've never been the right weight for my height, EVER. I was an overweight child, the last time I was a normal weight, I was 4. OK, so, any ideas people? I don't want to be freaked everytime a compliment comes. But I don't want to get a big head. I mean I have a long way to go before I'm going to have to worry about the kind of attention I am worried about..............BUT already???? 11 pounds???? Yikes, this is wierd.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I just finished my second 5K attempt, and although I thought I might turn around before getting halfway, I pushed myself, and finished 5 minutes faster than my last attempt, which wasn't even a full 3.1....(?) miles. I am really impressed with myself this morning!! I didn't run that much or that fast, but I did power walk the whole time I wasn't running, and I am a big pool of sweaty goodness right now. I feel sorry for my workout clothes! One thing that was hard is I have a plantars wart on the ball of my left foot, so I compensate for the pain there and place my weight on my heel and now that hurts too. So the whole left foot is in a lot of pain, and I still did great on my walk/jog. Yes, today is a great day. Also thanks to my good friend FREETHEGODDESS I have been really inspired by some of the most AMAZING blogs these last few days. It is just overwhelming what the human spirit can acheive with a little knowledge, love and encouragement! I love this community so much and am so proud and overjoyed to be a part of it!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I am seeing an ebb and flow to my hunger. The last two mornings I have not been hungry at all. I forced myself to eat, and I felt really sick afterwards. This morning was the same, and I just haven't eaten. I am still not hungry and it is nearly 12:20 pm. I have heard a bit about intuitive eating on here, but it seems to go against the spark regulations on calorie intake/outake ranges. I don't want to sabotage my health or weight loss, but I just can't eat when I am not hungry. I have burned nearly 400 calories this morning on my bike ride and I don't know why I am not hungry. It is a little wierd because I have spent the last 10 years being hungry 80% of the time, no matter how much I ate. I am going to go to the message boards to see if I can get an answer to this calorie intake/outake/intuitive eating issue. I really don't want to hurt myself, but I can't be sick just because I am forcing myself to eat. Has anyone expereinced this yet? Is this just a normal part of the journey?
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