Friday, September 16, 2011
Yay, today is my !!!
Lost 8.2 pounds and 9 inches.
Drink atleast 8 cups of water everyday
Log all food everday
Have made new recipes and updated old ones
Have exercised atleast 10 minutes everyday for a month
Have made new, wonderful, interesting, loving and movtiational friends
Go to bed before 11:00 pm every night and get up before 7 am every morning, and sleep like a baby all night
Educate myself on my past emotional eating habits and attempt to remedy them
Have goals posted where I can see them everyday
Eat fruit or veggies or both at every meal
Switched to all whole grains
Switched to low fat or non fat on all dairy
Embrace the roller coaster of life headon without turning to food to cover up the high and low emotions
Told everyone I could that I was on a new health journey
Got my bike fixed
Learned that one cup of dry rice=three cups cooked
Learned to ask the waiter how something is cooked before assuming it is what I want to put in my body
Made my first awesome batch of kombucha
Made my first green breakfast smoothie
Ate breakfast and lunch everyday
Have not eaten fast food in one month
Have only eaten out three times in one month
Have walked/jogged my first 5K ( mapped the distance and tried on my own.)
Rode 5-6 mile bike rides consistently for the last week or so
Did more than 5 push ups
Ran nearly a mile
Swam a half mile a day for a whole week
Talked about SparkPeople to anyone who would listen ( and some who weren't!)
Realized that I am worth it
Realized that I will reach my goal
Realized exactly what my goals are
Am excited by my goals
Got my first exercise battle scar, and am a proud warrior
Know just how friendly my city is in the morning, during peak exercise hours
Know how to shop healthy
Was told I glow!
Planned a whole days worth of meals and stuck to it
Have only binged once in a month
Have big plans for my future and am not going to ever turn my back on my needs, hopes, dreams or health again
Love life in a way I never really knew was possible
See people around me in a new light and want to spark everyone into a healthier life
Am not bored on a diet and ready to quit
Everday am inspired to do more, experience more, and share those experiences whith anyone who will listen
Have a family who is proud of me
Have the spark to get involved in outreach in the local homeless shelter in my city
Know what to do with my "bored" time now
Like beating my own personal records
Like talking about my weight, because I am on the path to change it
Got a fresh, new haircut for the first time in over a year
Learned how to gauge my health progress by more than just a number on the scale
OK I could probably go on and on, but I will stop here. It has been a blessed month, for all of you that were a part of it, thanks and I love you.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Well tomorrow is my first month sparkversary, and I feel like I have turned a new leaf. I am seeing, with the glorious help from beautiful souls on here, that health is a many faceted jewel. It is not just exercise and eat right and you will be healthy. Your body might be, but what about your heart, your mind? These are the areas I am seeing need attention, because without health and balance there, all the exercise and eating right could go down the tubes in a couple of bad months trapped in a hopeless/helpless mind/heart. So, how do I traverse the wilderness of these mysterious landscapes. I do not claim to understand my heart or my mind. They reveal deep and curious, wild and scary things to me. I am not sure that I am qualified to understand, or heal these areas, I am not a psychiatrist, or a life counselor. But, I do have friends, I do have family, and a husband, and a redeemer in Christ. So with this knowledge that I need to heal my heart, heal my mind, heal my soul, what is the first step towards that? Am I already on that path, I feel like I am. Is it more church? That is a loaded question, since I am more of a mystic Christian than anything else, and modern Christian church does not quite address the deepest curiosities of my soul. Do I turn to others? That helps, a lot, but in the end I have to do the work myself. I guess I turn to myself. It is within me that the questions lie, and within those questions, hope for an answer. I feel changed today, as if the somber realizations of yesterday sent a torrential rain that has washed away a hidden layer I've not seen before. I spent so many years running from the rain, only now to find that it is the rain that brings the crops of my soul to harvest. I hope you are healthy today, in all areas of your life. Let your hearts song be heard, and follow that beat with reverence and joy for you know your path is authentic and divine.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I could feel my blue side rearing it's lonely little head yesterday the moment I walked through my work door. I was running late, hadn't done my hair, it was wet still, and a client made some off color remarks to me about how long he'd already been waiting. Instead of my normal response of, " I'm sorry, I can take you right now", I snapped back at him, "Well, I'm early, do you want a haircut or not?" This is not me. I have really been having trouble facing all of my emotions without the food fog to help me ignore, or brush over them. I am feeling things I haven't felt in a long time, and am not exactly equipped to deal with this barrage of emotions. I am also feeling the inner attack I've always had on myself for not being perfect. That was always a factor in my house growing up, my father only showed true affection when we had a perfect report card, or did something extraordinary, and anything less was unacceptable. I have had that attitude toward myself my whole life, but as I got older and my life was not perfect, I just ate to cover up my feelings of guilt and regret for not being the best, not being what I always thought I would be. Now, as I am embarking on this new journey, atleast this morning, I am focusing on the honest mistakes I have made thus far, and not seeing all the progress. And this is the reason I have been blogging everyday. I need to track these emotional ups and downs, and I also am glad I can look back and see the progress I have made. I am beating myself up because I made a few mistakes this last week, which has kept me from reaching my 10 loss for this first month. And in some ways I am very upset, I didn't see these bumps in the road coming, and I feel like I should have known better. But on the other had, I am trying to be happy with the progress I have made. I have read a few articles about how the scale is not the best indicator of your progress, and I beleive that, but for now I am not broke from using that as a gauge for my progress. And when it is either not moving, or going up, I have to question what am I doing wrong. And sure enough I do get my answers, and all the peices fit together, and even though I have been exercising everday, I have had a couple of inadvertant overeating scenarios arise. I haven't had a full on binge since the first couple of days on here. But I am still not strong enough to say enough is enough, in a restaurant setting. This weekend my brother took me to dinner, and I assumed I would be able to find something suitable to eat. I settled with spicy chicken strips, not realizing it would be breaded, I know, I know, I was so hungry, I just wasn't thinking straight. (I still haven't mastered the art of having healthy snacks around me all the time.) So when my food came to me, it not only was breaded, but also swimming in a sweet sauce. And I ate all of it. I only ate half the rice which is acutally an improvement for me, however, the scale is now reflecting this. This teamed with the fact that at the end of last week I made a recipe and said I put in 4 cups of rice and actually put in 6, which caused me to think my portions were bigger than they should have been, and I ate this item three times in one day. Which added to my calorie count more than I even know. So, yeah, it's not perfect, it's not even the out of control binges that are getting me down, like I thought I would be having trouble with, it is the honest mistakes, just not thinking straight. That bad habit of not caring what I am eating or how many calories I am consuming is still alive and well. And it is going to take time for me to really tame these beasts. But I also have to focus on the positive, on the progress not the amount lost. Because really, I have my whole life. Just one day at a time, it's not a race, so what if I just signed up for a challenge and committed to trying to loose 40 pounds by February!! So what! If I do, awesome, if I don't, oh well, I'm not giving up. OK, sorry for this long rant, just needed to get all that out. Feels better to purge the emotions instead of let them fester and cause more guilt and unrest.
I am thinking my bike ride is going to help me clear my mind this morning, so glad I have that bike to rely on.
Thanks for reading!!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
My first attempt at a 5K just occurred, begining at 8:05 am and ending at 8:53 am. Yeah you heard me, it took 48 minutes!! Ha, well quite a bit slower than I'd hoped for, and not as far as I thought, but it was my first try. Now I have a place to start from, it's only up from here! I actually did run some of it, obviously from my time, not very much. My whole body is sticky now though, so I feel like I did something good for it. I tried to walk as fast as I could, and I did tae bo punching arms while I was walking, since that is the one part of my body that hasn't lost any inches yet. And if I look at it this way, a month ago, I would have still been in bed, for another hour or so. And I've already had my smashing breakfast and did 48 minutes of fitness time. Not too shabby. So what if my almost 5k time is hideously slow, who cares, now I know where I'm at and have a time to beat. I am going to have to figure out how to add .21 miles to my distance. It's the little details that keep me coming back for more!!! Spark on people, own that sweat!!
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