SOULFISH80   13,405
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SOULFISH80's Recent Blog Entries

Today

Friday, September 02, 2011

Went from a 15 minute, 3 mile bike ride, to a 10 minute one in one weeks time! That is visible progress if I've ever seen it!!! And I cut 5 minutes off my time while riding against the wind half way! I am pretty happy, I was really pushing myself, but I didn't realize I was going that fast. Also finished my vision collage, it's hanging on my fridge and it's gorgeous and highly motivating. Think that is what I was thinking of on my bike ride this morning! If you want to see a blurry picture of my collage, I posted it to my photos this morning. I hope for all the best today for you wonderful warriors. Be strong, be brave and conquer this day, it's waiting to be won over by you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIDMYCOCOON 9/3/2011 9:49AM

    Riding against the wind. That is no easy task! Well Done! Yay Collage! I will go check it out. emoticon

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MAESTRACH 9/2/2011 3:19PM

    wooo hoooo!!! Moose and I tried to do that, but apparently the creek we passed was too much temptation for her to pass by, so we went swimming instead. Keep up the amazing work!

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WENDYLEE15 9/2/2011 2:25PM

    Good for you!! emoticon your doing great!! I am going to pop over and check out your vision collage. Keep up the great work..there's no stopping you now emoticon emoticon

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Baby steps

Thursday, September 01, 2011

I'm reinvisioning my new life. I am slowly transforming my "diet" mentality to a healthy lifestyle mentality. Of course I want to see big results, fast, hard to change that thinking overnight. Slowly it is becoming the non weight results that I am begining to really want to nurture and work on. It doesn't seem so much like a race to a deadline, as it does a lovely path through the woods with hills and valleys leading to a destination I can almost feel, but not see yet. I am begining to think about myself being thin. I bought some health and fitness magazines yesterday, along with a better homes and gardens, and began seeing this life, this body that I don't know if I've ever fully allowed myself to dream for. I picked out the very healthiest body I could, which happened to be Jenny McCarthy, someone I have really liked for a long time, and tons of motivational sayings and will work on my vision collage tonight. I was realizing as I was going through the magazines last night, that I had stopped dreaming some time back. Don't know exactly when it happened, but reality did set in, and I felt a prisoner to a life I didn't really feel was mine for years now. As I grow stronger, and turn away from food as a drug to deal with my life (I am an emotional eater) I am begining to have feelings and thoughts about myself and the possiblities for my future that I had given up on long ago. I am now dreaming of going back to school, even maybe studying nutrition. So, the long and winding road is more than a good song to me now, it is my life. The life I am choosing day by day to carve out and make my own. It feels authentic, and almost predestined in a way. Like I've always known this would happen, and I was just waiting patiently for it to come along. Like a little seed, I have been planeted in good soil, now I just need to step back and watch myself blossom.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIDMYCOCOON 9/2/2011 11:07AM

    Oh My! I cannot believe how much I identify with you. It's like you talk and I am talking. You really are my sister. I love Jenny McCarthy. I think she is the funniest, smartest and most pretty actress/writer out there. (did you see Dirty Love?). Really, If find her to be a beacon of feminine strength. I don't think many people know just how awesome she is. Secondly, I too have been toying with the idea of getting certified or registered in nutrish. I have my culinary degree and since things are changing and I am walking down this meandering scenic path to myself it seems like it would be a good addition. (Wow, that would be cool to have you around to bounce schooling off of). Your statements above of authenticities and "a knowing" are so spot on. I am so happy for you that you have rekindled your dreams and have begun putting them in action. It just fills my heart directly. I think, sense and feel your words and it compounds the joy I have for this experience. Thank you for writing so frequently, for being you and for being here...Alive! xox You Rock!! emoticon


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GODDESS181 9/2/2011 12:44AM

    Thank you so much for putting these words in a blog. I can relate and I bet many others can also. It warms my heart to share your journey.
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DESERTFLOWER8 9/1/2011 8:04PM

    The future is your oyster! Good for you for allowing yourself to hope and to dream. You are on the path now to being exactly where you want to be.... emoticon

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TRIXIEBLUE 9/1/2011 4:53PM

    Awesome,

This is truly wonderful! Don't give up and keep taking those baby steps.

You CAN do it!

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Dreaming BIGGGGGGG

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Started reading The Spark, and I feel compelled to share with you all my fast break list, and my goals.
Fast Break:
Create and cook one healthy new recipe per week
Exercise atleast 10 minutes/day
Post goals on fridge, in car, in bathroom, in bedroom, at work
Read my bible 3 times per week
Each goal that I reach, I give myself a dollar that goes into an envelop saved for the end of my first week. I can spend that money on anything I like............I'm dreaming for a new pair of running shoes.

My goals:
Short term:Drink 8 cups of water everyday without fail, cook a new, healthy recipe once a week without fail and find some new, motivating music for my Ipod, collect magazines for my vision collage and create that with my goals in mind.

Midterm:Get involved in the local homeless shelter, set up schedule to give haircuts to the homeless/jobless people out there looking for work. Ride 6 miles on my bike without stopping. Run one mile without stopping. Loose 20 pounds by my birthday (February 5th).

Long term: Reach 100 people for Christ, loose 110 pounds, afford healthcare, find out why I haven't gotten pregnant and attmept to remedy that, get out of debt, start my retirement plan, start saving for a house, go back to school or buy my own barbershop, swim with sea turtles and dolphins ( I can dream big can't I?!)

At the end of my 28 day starting program I am going to give myself the gift of going out to Tazzina's Bistro with my wonderful husband, one of the nicer restaurants in town that I've only heard of and have not been to yet.

Wow, that felt good! Of course my dreamer brain has all kinds of dreams that go into greater details of what I want in depth for my future. But for now, this is a good, well defined step in the right direction. The Spark is a phenomenal book so far, I am so glad I bought it, and am reading it. It is really interesting and touching to hear the biographical story of Chris Downie. He really deserves to be the president of the United States or something. Day by day as I really come to terms with what SparkPeople is doing in my life and the lives of millions of others, I am in utter shock and awe. I can't seem to believe this is all real. It really seems too good to be true, but as I sit here and pinch myself for the 10th time this morning, I see that this is real. Someone cares enough about me, and my fellow human citizens to give back. Not to give something small, something hardly worth noticing, but something HUGE. Something priceless. Something so great words do not do justice. So, humbly, greatfully, and in utter shock and intermittent disbelief I come to all of you, with arms wide open. THANK YOU. And I will spread The Spark. That is the least I can do for all that has been done for me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GODDESS181 9/2/2011 1:15AM

    Excellent! Glad to hear you are feeling the Spark!
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BLVINBUTTERFLYS 9/1/2011 11:32AM

    Nice! emoticon

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WICKEDQUEENTREE 8/31/2011 11:48PM

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DODGETVM 8/31/2011 1:13PM

    Awesome! All attainable goals and a great attitude to boot! I love reading peoples blogs like this, good for you! emoticon

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WENDYLEE15 8/31/2011 11:55AM

    Beautifully said!! You are sooo on the right track.Your lists are great!! You reminded me of the time (when I was in cosmetology school) that we went to Access..it was a temporary home for abused mothers and their children..to do their hair. Then another time we went to Bell ( a home for the mentally handicapped) and did theirs.The appreciation shown was incredible!! It makes you feel so good to help others and give back!! You have so many wonderful goals and dreams and I am sure you will reach them all.And hey if we can't dream BIG..why even dream right !! emoticon emoticon
And I can't wait to see you reach them.. I am so glad we are friends so that I can be there when you do!!

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RIDMYCOCOON 8/31/2011 11:54AM

    Excellente! Arriba! Arriba! Viva La Soulfish! Great Fast Break Plan. I know you will reach any goal you set your mind to. "The voice of commitment is strong in this one, Yes," to be read as Yoda.
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So glad you bought the book : O )

Comment edited on: 8/31/2011 11:55:26 AM

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/31/2011 11:45AM

    Wonderful! I agree with all you have said! Glad to be sharing this journey with you...

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Butterflies, rainbows and today's monsters

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I don't know about most of you, but I definitely have a complex when I exercise. I don't go to a gym, so I don't have people surrounding me when I work out, most of my exercise is outside or in my house. But I still have this embarrased feeling that people walking or driving by are just staring at my fat as I attempt my best at running or even walking as fast as possible. And the thing is, what if they are? What if they are staring, is that going to hurt me? And in all reality, no one is probably even looking in my direction at all. I do live in a relatively small city though, and I do see people I know everywhere I go. On my morning walk the other day a client of mine passed me on his bike, so I do know that I am not all alone out there on the streets. And I don't know why I think when I dress up in my jeans and non workout shirts that I look magically so much better, I never seem to be too embarrased dressed like that. I do have a shorts phobia, and I've been wearing them often for my outdoor exercise activities. I am really seeing that I have to change the way I look at myself, because this fat girl defense mechanism is really stressing me out. I don't want anyone to see me exercising, and so I don't want to exercise. Isn't that silly? I know it is. And I'm not going to let this insecurity get the best of me, I refuse. I guess I've just been in denial so long about the problem and now that I am staring it in the face everday I am seeing many layers to my thinking/emotional nature that I am not really proud of, and didn't even really know existed. So, this is a wild journey, I have a feeling there is going to be a lot more to this than just happy butterflies and rainbows everyday. But instead of these hard feelings getting the best of me, I'm going to get them, and put them right where I want them, eating my dust as I take my best attempt at a morning run. So, if someone is looking at me, hope they get a real good look, because they are not going to see me this size for too much longer. I am going to dance this dance as long and hard and big as I can. I will slay today's monsters, and in doing so, equip myself for the road ahead. March on you brave soldiers, there is no turning back on this mission.

  
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WICKEDQUEENTREE 8/31/2011 11:48PM

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BUTTERFLYAT38 8/30/2011 8:53PM

    As your discipline grows so will your confidence and naturally any self consciousness disappears..Love the last 2 lines..awesome

"So, if someone is looking at me, hope they get a real good look, because they are not going to see me this size for too much longer. I am going to dance this dance as long and hard and big as I can. I will slay today's monsters, and in doing so, equip myself for the road ahead. March on you brave soldiers, there is no turning back on this mission. "
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WENDYLEE15 8/30/2011 5:13PM

    You go girl!! I can totally relate.I joined the gym and won't go.I am not comfortable at all there. I would much rather work out at home too.My mom and I are going to start walking next week in the mornings..and I too live in a small town so there is no way people I know won't see me. We make such a big deal out of things don't we emoticon YES we must slay those monsters!!
Well said!!


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RIDMYCOCOON 8/30/2011 2:29PM

    I know exactly how you feel. It is that voice that slowly gets smaller as we do. You are attacking it in a very positive and healthy manner. Well Done, Girl! emoticon

ps at this point I think most people worth anything at all think, "Look at her go! Good For Her!" and if they don't they can sit and spin emoticon

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REINVENT_ME 8/30/2011 12:44PM

    I understand how you are feeling! When you are on a journey to anywhere great, you are going to have those feelings and that's good because you are confronting things that have held you back. It's totally uncomfortable, but in the long run you will be better for going through it and in return you can help others who are struggling with the same issues.

You never know who you are inspiring on your morning run/walks!

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This is really working!!!!!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Down 5.2 pounds in 14 days. This is so exciting. And although I am being pretty serious about my eating habits and exercise, I am not killing myself. I don't feel deprived of food, in fact I wanted to take pictures of my meals yesterday, they were so yummy and wonderful. And although I am trying to push myself in my exercise time, I'm not killing myself. Just as much as I can do, nothing too crazy. That's it!! I never would have thought that the rememdy to my decade long dilema could really be this easy. I have heard it my whole life, eat less, exercise more. Yeah, well, I always thought you had to eat so much less it would be unbearable, and exercise more than was possible for me to acheive. I really had myself fooled on this whole weight loss/healthy living thing. I just didn't realize it was so easily attainable. I mean, I'm not to my goal weight by any means, but this early success will give me the strength I need to continue through the plateaus. I am really amazed a what sparkpeople is doing in my life. I can't beleive it is free, and I can't get over all the constant support that you get here. I am a very happy girl. Oh, and prayer works, everyday atleast once I ask God to give me the strength, to help me through this, and everday I have it. God led me here, and each day leads me to a new and brighter me. Without my faith I would never be here, and for this I am so humbled, and so in awe of the power of the force that created this beautiful ball we a call Earth and all of it's diverse inhabitants. Glory be to God in the HIGHEST!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIDMYCOCOON 8/30/2011 11:40AM

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HIPPICHICK1 8/29/2011 9:51PM

    I wrote the a very similar blog to this one after being here for 2 weeks. Pretty amazing how easy it is, eh?
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WICKEDQUEENTREE 8/29/2011 6:29PM

    How absolutely awesome for you!

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WENDYLEE15 8/29/2011 11:33AM

    Another awesome blog..you are on a roll :).I am so glad you are here too!! I love my Spark friends..and too can't believe this is a free site!!You are doing awesome..I am so happy for your success so far and am here to root you on the rest of the way!!
Take care..Have a great new week!!
Bless you and yours :)

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SHUTTERBUGG 8/29/2011 10:32AM

    Congrats! Keep up the good work! I have always been surprised that Spark never charges anything for all that you get out of it. Such a great resource!

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