Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Where to start.............whew I'm exhausted! Well Saturday after work, I came home to a houseful of family. I cooked for everyone, and my sister stayed over to go with us to church on Sunday. I managed to do pretty well with dinner, making mashed cauliflower, a squash and bell peppers medley and panko breaded and baked chicken breasts. Everyone was pleased and I was pretty happy with the calorie equation that day. My sister and I stayed up watching TV and chatting for ahwile, it's always very nice to spend time with her. I woke up pretty early on Sunday and got a nice jog in before the hubs and sis woke up. That was nice. I felt pretty great.............UNTIL we walked to the car to leave for church and noticed that one of our cars was missing. My first instinct was that it had been towed, which would have been financially annoying, but nothing too terrible. Well, after a few hours of mystery solving, we found out it was not towed, but stolen. Yikes, definitely not what we needed. I got pretty bummed out for the rest of Sunday. Lot's of "why's" and "what did I do to deserve this" going on. This is the second car we've had stolen since we moved to the Sacramento area. So, after a long day of being downright bummed and sad, I decided I wasn't going to let the whole weekend be ruined.
My attitude today has been pretty good, considering the happenings. I went to the local consignment clothes store and found a skirt/top combo that I was eyeballing a few weeks back that was originally priced at $20.oo.............today it was down to $2.00! I had to get it! I know, I know, drowing my sorrows in shopping is probably not the best thing, but I only spent $4.00 total on my goodies...........that's less than a fast food meal, and that is how I used to drown my sorrows, I'm thinking this was better. Plus the outfit I bought I originally thought would be too small for me. It is a one size fits all, and the skirt looks quite small, but it fit well, and is so cute! Glad I didn't spend $20.oo on it!
After my mini purchase fun, I picked Grandpa up and took him to downtown Sacramento for a doctors appt. We got there at 1:00 and did't leave until after 3:30, that was kind of a bummer part of the day. But we did get to spend a bit of fun time together. I always love it when it's just me and him and we can talk about whatever we want. I love my Grandpa so much. We got home, and he really wanted pizza. I allowed this because he lives in an assisted living place where they don't get things like pizza and brownies.............which is what he wanted, and he's 86, so he get's whatever he wants when he's with me. I just took him home a little while ago, and have been sitting here thinking about taking a quick walk around the block............but it's after 9:30, and I'm just not sure if that's a good idea tonight or not. I'm pretty pooped out.
So that was my weekend. Not exactly great, but I'm not letting it get me too down. I think I might have enough energy tonight for a quick SP cardio session, and I am already planning tomorrow mornings jog. After this weekend, going back to work will be relaxing! I've really been sooo busy these last few days.
One good way to look at things is, with a weekend like this, the week can only get better from here..........I hope!!!
Love you guys, hope your weeks are filled with healthy choices that make you proud.........that is what I am hoping for myself, and I think I have a good chance to turn that hope into reality!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Lately I've been turning my desperation to be healthier into curious searching time. I've found the best articles on here. Great ideas on how to eat according to season, and how to find little ways here and there to burn calories without having to run 10 miles/day. I admit, it is a completely different way to look at life than the way I've lived for nearly a 33 years. But it is a way to look at life that I've always dreamed of. I've wanted purpose and fullness, variety and spice, goals and spark. I've wanted these things and had absolutely no idea how to get them. I am nowhere near reaching my goal of living a fully sparked life, but I feel a source of strength growing steadily inside that keeps me believing that I can and I will have the life I deserve......one little decision at a time.
It's funny. I've went from coming home at night without having dinner planned and just scraping things together, to planning nearly the whole week ahead of time. In fact, I'm so excited to try new recipes that I can't wait for this week to be gone so I can plan next weeks meals! Heee, kind of funny! I am loving the new flavors and simplicity of some of the recipes I've tried. I thought tasty/healthy cooking was much harder than this! One thing I'm not quite used to yet is plugging in and calculating my own numbers on new or revamped recipes. I know this is crucial to my success, I'm just not used to it. I'm such a cook as I go kind of cook, I'm not that great with recipes.........getting better, but I still go off the cuff a bit. But I'm seeing that it is really important to be specific about measurements if I am going to be accurate about calories consumed. I'm also having a little trouble figuring out portions for things like soup/stew/chilli, etc. It is hard to know what the finished meal is portion wise of a liquid, without measuring it all into another container as you go. Which is obviously the way to do it, I'm just coming to terms with the full reality of mindfulness in regards to eating consciously. One step at a time. It is painfully obvious that not being mindful leads down very wild and scary roads for me. Being mindful may be difficult right now, but it is definitley more the road I want to ride, than the path to self destuction I've been on for so long now.
I have not done any lap swimming at the local pool yet, but I've thought of it everyday since I heard about it. It turns out the client that told me about his aerobics class is an enemy of sorts of my mother's best friend. Guess I'll stay away from his class for now, this town is too small sometimes!! I still have the option to go work out at a local apartment complex's gym. I'm looking forward to that during the rainy months. I think it could be a really great option this winter. I also mapped out a perfect 2 mile jog last night. It is a well lighted, smooth and easy path. I jogged as much as I could last night, wich was just about half of it. I am planning to push for more and more jogging as time goes by, until I can jog the entire thing. I will be sooo happy when that day comes!!! My goal is to be able to jog a 5K without stopping.............maybe even a couple of days a week. I feel so good after jogging, I feel like I am really doing something good for my heart. I don't especially love it while I'm doing it, but afterwards I almost always feel great. So hopefully I can get those 2 miles in most of the days this week and a little ST and see how I feel. I am really focusing on mantaining versus progressing right now.I am one of those people that thinks that a weeks worth of effort should lead to a marathon. Of course I am not capable of this, so I get disappointed, and then I fail to maintain effort. I am not patient, and over estimate my personal expectations for myself constantly. So, patience, maintenance, consistency, these are all my new best freinds. I am trying to be happy working on these things while I learn how to work the calories in/out equation to benefit my health needs.
I am really looking forward to working in some fall/winter fruits/veggies into my meal plans. I LOVE winter squash like acorn and butternut. I also really like root veggies, especially beets......yummm! I read that apples and grapes are among this seasons fruits, which are two things I consume on a regular basis year round.
This season has such great things to offer us if we take the time to appreciate it's bounty. I am really gearing myself up to have a great winter season. I have a tendency to get blue in the winter, but I really want to fight it with a passion this year. I think with the help of SP and my lovely sparkfriends, I just might have a fighting chance this year. This time last year, I found out I was pregnant, and thus the begining of the end of my wistful weight loss plans! This is a better year, I can feel it!
Cheers to all of us brave and beautiful warriors. Let's burn this flame so wild, so free and so fierce that everyone (including ourselves) can see and be motivated for positive change!!!
Sunday, October 07, 2012
It's funny, I know I'm not supposed to beat myself up, but it is hard not to. Went to my mom's last night, she had tons of goodies that I love, I was starving, it was after work, and I went wild. So wild I have no idea how to count all the calories I ate. Ever since then I have felt terrible. I feel bloated, sick, no energy, and sad. Of course I had to weigh myself, and it was 2.6 pounds over in one day. I can't believe I ate THAT much! That's like 8500 calories or somthing! I am sure it was a lot of salt, and not enough water drinking. It was bad, that's all I can say. And it wasn't premeditated, it just happened. I was talking, and eating, and talking and eating. By the time dinner was served, I wasn't even really that hungry, which I should have stopped there, but no, I ate dinner. Then icecream. All around it was terribly bad. And I've tried to make ammends today, but I didn't start off good at all, and we took my little sister to church and then out to lunch. I tried to do what I thought was OK for lunch, but you never know when you eat out what you are really consuming. So, somehow, I've got to learn how to deal with event/weekend eating. I am not too mad at myself, more like, how in the world did that happen? It was my normal eating patterns, so that is why it seems like it's not that big of a deal. But, of course, it is my normal eating patterns that got me to the weight/health I have now. So, I'm a little bummed. I did manage to get a walk in yesterday, despite the overeating, and I've got one in today. So I'm not giving up, I just feel really bogged down. Two steps forward, three steps back kind of thing. And I keep thinking, if I could just exercise harder and longer these little set backs wouldn't be suck a big deal, but I feel like I'm doing the very best I can, without knocking myself out. So, hopefully I can chock yesterday up as experience in the real world, and learn how to better equip myself for similar situations. Especially with the holidays coming up, I'm going to need to do something, or else it's going to be a long, weight gaining time, and I don't need or want that. I guess what really hurts me about yesterday is I see just how fragile I really am, and how much hard work I really have to do. I wish I was already on top of the mountain of success, but unfortunately, I'm at the bottom, and the climb is looking pretty trecharous today. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day?
Thursday, October 04, 2012
Wow, I'm a little amazed with todays events. Three clients came in today with information about cheap/free exercise options that are available to me that I didn't even know about. The first one told me that she has a little gym in her apartment complex and she uses it regularly and invited me to come over whenever I wanted to work out with her, very sweet. The next lady told me about the pool!! Yeah, I can't beleive I didn't know about this before, but there is a local pool with year round lap swim for a very small fee. And the last was a client that teaches weekly aerobics classes including yoga, wieght training and cardio in 1.5 hour sessions. I am really excited. I was afraid that over the winter, with all the rain, my outside exercise routine would fall apart and I'd be a little lost without good fitness options. But it looks like my fears were for nothing. I can't afford a gym membership right now, but after today, looks like I won't need one. I am so pleasantly surprised and excited about all the new options presented today. If I team these options with a few good workout videos, I should be just fine. Now I really have no excuses to not keep the spark burning throughout the winter months. I feel very blessed.
Thursday, October 04, 2012
When I was jog/walking tonight, I was really pushing it on the last few blocks before I got home. I passed a man, that I initially didn't notice, but I had to glance over after he said to me, "That's the way you do it! Go! Just do it!" Haaaa, that is the second time, since I've joined SP that a random person on the street has made a positive comment about my exercising.......I don't really know how to take it, except to smile and keep on pushing hard! It really made me happy that some random person took a second to encourage me, pretty cool. I remember last year when I was pushing hard on my bike ride one day and the lady said, "Look at you, go, go, GO!" I love this town!
I am in the losing game again. After last weeks potato/cheese/bacon soup I made for Grandpa, I'd gained a few pounds back. I really couldn't resist eating it, and it was obviously far higher in calories than I anticipated. So now I'm a few ounces from being at my original 6 pound loss. Which is good. It always feels good to see the scale going in the right direction. I've cut my night snacks down to apples and carrots for now, which seems to be going well. I've also stuck to a midafternoon snack of a handful of peanuts. It seems to do the trick, and doesn't break the bank calorie wise. Baby steps. I've also been able to get ST in nearly every other night, even if it's only 10 minutes.....it still feels good to work on my strength building activities. And everyday after an ST night, I feel it in the muscles I was working, so I guess I'm doing something right.
The pants I bought two weeks ago that fit pretty snug, were about to fall off today. I think it is because I'd worn them a bit yesterday, but I've done that in the past with pants and they are still as tight as can be. So I take that as a good sign. I have seen little glimpses of change in the shape of my stomache at a side glance, and also the celluclite on my legs seems to be a little bit smoother. I dont know if it's in my head or not..............but I'm taking it as a sign of progress.
I have bottles that are exactly 36 ounces, so I fill them up twice a day, gauranteeing my 8 cups of water. I always feel better when I am making sure I get my water needs met. Also, I know this is a strange topic, but my elimination processes seems to be regulating, which always is a good sign to me that things are moving more smoothly in my body.
I've been eating LOTS of fruit and veggies. It really is so great when I focus on that. I really feel better, and the full flavor of fresh produce beats anything that comes out of a box anytime. The local grocery store has been carrying a lot of end of the season produce. I've picked up some unbelievable heirloom tomatoes and very sweet bell peppers there this last week from local farms. I really love living in an agricultural haven.
This Saturday is the Hoes Down celebration. Last year was the first time I was able to go, and I had such a wonderful time. I'm really looking forward to it again this year. I might even work up enough courage to do some Contra dancing. Don't know if you have ever seen it, but it's wonderful to watch and looks sooo fun to do. I'm trying to talk everyone I know into going with me, I don't have any definite affirmatives yet, we'll see as the week winds down if I get any takers. It is really a wonderful festival, held in the heart of Capay Valley. Lots of fresh organic goodies, wines, jams, and loads of handmade goods of every kind. I am getting excited just thinking of it. I don't have much money to spend, but just seeing all the goodness is inpsiring.
The debates got me into a bit of a funk, I really don't like politics. I try to ignore it most of the time, but during election time it is hard. It doesn't help that I work with the public and everyone wants to talk about it. I try to stay out of it, because it really causes nothing but problems. But, I do have my opinions, I am still human, last I checked, and I just want a good future, like everyone else.
Well, hopefully a little ST will take my mind off of the rumbling political debates. I hope you all have a great second half of your week. I plan on pushing hard.....maybe I'll get another random compliment!
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