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SOULFISH80's Recent Blog Entries
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Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Well, Tim starts a new job on the first. Pretty happy because as we stand now, the bills are just racking up with not enough coming in. I've had the slowest month at work I've had in ages. So, thank GOD for this job!! We've been really getting in a lot of exercise this week, I still have blisters on my feet from Sundays 3 mile adventure in inappropriate shoes..........but it hasn't stopped me from plugging forward.
I am nervous about Tim going back to work, we've had about 5 months of quality time together, and it's been nice............broke, broke times, but nice times. I am also worried about his health, but am praying often about the path we are about to tread............hoping things will get better. I've started studying a new philosophical stream of knowledge, called Rosicrucianism, it is not a religion, but more of a philosophical community. I am very excited about what this new community has to offer me, and I to it.
My sister has been down here for about 3 weeks, she is doing much better. I missed her, and am so glad to see that she is doing so much better. It looks like she will be going back up north for awhile, don't know if it will last long or not. But her mental health is better,and that is what matters.
My exercise has been pretty spot on, I've already logged over 200 fit mins this week and there are still 3 more days to rack up those mins. BUT my eating has been hit and miss. Some days are better than others, some meals are better than others, not quite where I want to be. One day I feel really great about my eating, then something happens, my emotions run wild and then BAM I overeat. It doesn't happen everyday, it doesn't happen every week, but it happens still. I will be so glad when the day comes that I don't have to worry about emotional overeating. One day at a time..........one step at a time, one spark at a time.
Bye sweeties, have a great end of your week.
Friday, March 16, 2012
This is my mantra for the day, week, month, year! I don't want to let myself dull my sparkle, ever, if possible!
It is a rainy, wonderful day. This has been the driest winter I have spent in Northern Cali, and I admit, I have missed the rain a bit. After last years never ending rain till July, I never thought I'd be saying this, but yes, I do like a fair amount of rain. It makes me feel cozy, makes me enjoy reading, and writing, snuggling, cooking, and all things that can be thoroughly enjoyed from the comforts of my warm, dry home.
I have finally come to the conclusion that a few items in my normal diet are not my friend, at all. Butter, mayo, peanut butter (with sugar and in larger than 1 tbsp amounts), full fat dairy of any kind, cream (more than 1 tbsp/day), and cheese.........oh that cheese (especially on tortilla chips.......bad, bad tortilla chips). These are all things that I eat/cook with on a regular basis, and just absent mindedly ignored thier high calorie counts. I know these things, in moderation, can be OK, but I am finding that by using them as I've been accustomed to adds to FAR too many calories at the end of the day. Just by cutting one of these per day, I can easily add a nice piece of fruit/ large group of veggies or any other healthy size snack into my day, which is much more satisfying than slopping on an extra portion of mayo. I have known all of this for years, but, as is normal for these days, I am just really, REALLY realizing the price I am paying for being lazy in my food choices. An egg cooked in a pan spritzed with an olive oil spray is just as wonderful as one cooked in a tbsp of butter. Low fat cream cheese is even more wonderful than butter on toast, and two overflowing tbsp of peanut butter is more like 4 regular tbsp and that is over 400 calories............OUCH. So, the little things, little details are slowly becoming very apparant, thankfully!!! And when did fruits and veggies become the perfect, satisfying snack??? I feel like I've attempted to curb my mid afternoon munchy madness with a piece of fruit before, and it just didn't do the trick. For some reason an apple, orange,some broccoli, snap peas, a bell pepper, these are all more than enough to keep the cravings a bay. I think finally, I am giving my body the REAL nutrients it needs, and the sugar/carb cravings are diminishing...........not gone mind you, just bearable.
One of the real blessings of Tim being of of work has been getting to be with him everyday. We haven't had that blessing in our lives for about 5 years. He has been driving over the road, both short and long hauls for so long, I really forgot just how fun he is. Five years is a long time to go without spending quality time with your spouse. No wonder why we thought we had nothing to talk about, and nothing in common. We were just living seperate lives. So, each day, as he applies for both driving and security jobs, I say a little prayer that the security jobs call soon, because as much as he can push my buttons, I really love him, and enjoy spending as much time as possible with that guy.
And the question of all questions. Why in the world is it ten times harder to walk 2 miles on the treadmill, and ALWAYS takes longer, even when I am walking and even jogging at what seems to be a much faster pace than when I'm outside???? What is that about? Can it truly all be mental????
Hope your weekends are sparkling and bright, even if the clouds are grey, the light from our inner wellspring of wonder can bring us inspiration to be better and better with each step.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Today my husband didn't feel like doing the 5K that I was itching to do, so he set out walking in one direction, and I went on my 5K path. When I finished my 5K, we met, face to face on the same road! So funny!!! He walked 2 miles in the time I did 3.............then he wanted to do 2 more. So I walked with him 2 more miles, totaling 5 today!! That was pretty cool. I can't believe we met face to face like that without planning it! I didn't know what route he was taking, and he didn't know mine either, and the timing was just perfect..........so funny. Also since starting SP, I have never walked this far. I have rode 9 miles on my bike, but never walked over a 5K in one day. I hear people on here that do that all the time, but I just hadn't worked my way up to that.....until now!!!! I think I could have even gone farther if my husband was up for it! The last 2 miles we weren't going that fast, so it was much easier than my first 3. Anyway, that's my funny walk story for the day. How is your exericising going????
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Things seem to be back to normal around here. We are still broke as can be, but we are surviving. My sister is in town, and is doing remarkably well considering all she has been through in the last few months. Tim and I have been exercising everyday together, in the last week we only skipped one day. It is so nice to do it together, this is what I always hoped for. He has been cooking a lot more lately, and has been doing quite a good job at it. He isn't back to work yet, but his gaurd card did come in yesterday, so the waiting game is over, he can apply to security jobs now. I really hope he gets one in town, because otherwise he'll have to drive to Sacramento, which is about a 30-45 minute drive depending on traffic, and what part you are going to.
The weather has been too good to handle......this weekend there is a local festival called the Almond festival......mostly a meeting spot for bikers, but we might go out and brave the crowds and see what's happening.
Work has been a little slow this week, which always really scares me. I have such a tight budget and have to make a certain amount everyday in order to pay our bills. I haven't met the daily requirement the last two days, and that is really stressful, but somehow, I know, everything will work out, it always does.
Since I've been working 6 days a week, and am still going to follow up doctors appointments from the pregnancy, I've been a little overwhelmed. I really miss my going in at 11:30, Sun/Mon off schedule. It suited me so well!! Atleast I really love my job. My boss is an angel, and the clients are great, and I am good at what I do, and I really enjoy it. That is such a huge blessing, I can't imagine having to work this much and hate it. Some days I'd rather be at work than anywhere else because we have so much fun!
Really interested to see what happens in the next few months. Looking forward to losing more weight..........have lost almost 9 pounds since the miscarriage(Feb. 23rd), and am really happy about that. I intend on keeping up with the exercise, and hope that I can continue to loose weight. If I am going to try to get pregnant within the next few years, I'd really like to be at a healthy starting weight before it happens.
This whole pregnancy thing made me really realize just how much I want to be a mother. Admittedly we are not in the right position to willingly bring a child into our lives. But, when it happened out of the blue, after 8 years without using protection, it kind of shocked my system and made me really see just how badly I've always wanted to be a mother. I think it did the same thing to my husband. Now we feel that it is just a matter of waiting till the time is right, and then trying to make it happen again. I really hope that God has motherhood planned for my future. My heart is so set upon it.
Keep up the great work my sparky peeps.
Monday, March 05, 2012
I was raised a vegetarian, and I naturally love fruits and veggies. But I've allowed myself to "forget" to eat as many as I should over these last few years. So recently I've been adding them to everything, and it feels great. They are the perfect side dish for any meal, breakfast, lunch or dinner. It's amazing how just a piece of fruit, half a bell pepper, some snap peas, a little broccolli, tomato slices.....etc., etc. can really be so incredibly satisfying and tasty and all around wonderful in every way. I am a tuna eater, probably eat atleast one tuna sandwich a week. Decided I'd spark it up with onions, pickles and tomatoes. Not only did it make it super tasty, but it also stretched my little can into two large portions, instead of one large portion. Also, just found a new fish I've never had before, Swai. It is really great. Got a 3 pound frozen package at Grocery Outlet for five bucks. Tim made tacos out of it yesetday with homemade pico de gallo, and it was SUPER DUPER delicious.
Being raised in a health concious houselhold, all of these little discoveries should be kind of a big DUH.........but I guess what I've been seeing lately is it's not that hard to eat healthier.......or that expensive. I've tricked myself into thinking that I had to shop at the Co-op or farmers market to get quality food........and although I love those places, I don't always have the money or time to shop there. So...........I'm begining to make the best of what I have. Brown rice, beans, fresh cheeses, whole grain breads/pastas, and even lots of organic freggies can be found really close to my house, at the bargain market, without breaking the bank. I find myself getting excited about what new concoctions I might dream up next. I'm finding that although not every meal, everyday is spot on perfect, I am making better decisions everyday. Lately it's been substituting water for nearly 100% of my liquid intake. It's simple, and it really saves on the calories. I used to drink milk or juice often with meals, or even inbetween meals, not realizing the calories I was consuming. I've stopped that, thankfully. I guess what I've really been seeing lately is that, no matter how slow I go on this healthy adventure I'm on, as long as I don't give up, I'll be able to find new and exciting ways to be healthier all the days of my life. Which is exciting. This is a HUGE theme for me, I've been awakening to this idea for awhile now...........some days it just really hits me that I am healthier than I was a few months back, and I intend on growing more and more healthy as the years go on. It's such a different frame of mind than I had when I was "dieting"..............I really despise dieting. It's all about how much weight can I loose in the shortest amount of time, usually not healthily, and definitely not mentally healthy...........atleast for me.
Well, sparkers, it's so nice to know some of you, and be a part of this community. I hope to get to know you all better and better as the years go on. Have a lovely week!
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