SOULFISH80   13,642
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SOULFISH80's Recent Blog Entries

Full recovery

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Things seem to be back to normal around here. We are still broke as can be, but we are surviving. My sister is in town, and is doing remarkably well considering all she has been through in the last few months. Tim and I have been exercising everyday together, in the last week we only skipped one day. It is so nice to do it together, this is what I always hoped for. He has been cooking a lot more lately, and has been doing quite a good job at it. He isn't back to work yet, but his gaurd card did come in yesterday, so the waiting game is over, he can apply to security jobs now. I really hope he gets one in town, because otherwise he'll have to drive to Sacramento, which is about a 30-45 minute drive depending on traffic, and what part you are going to.

The weather has been too good to handle......this weekend there is a local festival called the Almond festival......mostly a meeting spot for bikers, but we might go out and brave the crowds and see what's happening.

Work has been a little slow this week, which always really scares me. I have such a tight budget and have to make a certain amount everyday in order to pay our bills. I haven't met the daily requirement the last two days, and that is really stressful, but somehow, I know, everything will work out, it always does.

Since I've been working 6 days a week, and am still going to follow up doctors appointments from the pregnancy, I've been a little overwhelmed. I really miss my going in at 11:30, Sun/Mon off schedule. It suited me so well!! Atleast I really love my job. My boss is an angel, and the clients are great, and I am good at what I do, and I really enjoy it. That is such a huge blessing, I can't imagine having to work this much and hate it. Some days I'd rather be at work than anywhere else because we have so much fun!

Really interested to see what happens in the next few months. Looking forward to losing more weight..........have lost almost 9 pounds since the miscarriage(Feb. 23rd), and am really happy about that. I intend on keeping up with the exercise, and hope that I can continue to loose weight. If I am going to try to get pregnant within the next few years, I'd really like to be at a healthy starting weight before it happens.

This whole pregnancy thing made me really realize just how much I want to be a mother. Admittedly we are not in the right position to willingly bring a child into our lives. But, when it happened out of the blue, after 8 years without using protection, it kind of shocked my system and made me really see just how badly I've always wanted to be a mother. I think it did the same thing to my husband. Now we feel that it is just a matter of waiting till the time is right, and then trying to make it happen again. I really hope that God has motherhood planned for my future. My heart is so set upon it.

Keep up the great work my sparky peeps.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ME_HERE_NOW 3/10/2012 7:18PM

    you have an amazing amount of perspective and strength, positivity and passion, a girl like me could learn a lot from a girl like you. keep sparkin your world doll!

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BLVINBUTTERFLYS 3/9/2012 8:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/9/2012 5:56PM

    Way to go!! You guys are going to save a lot of money cooking all the time, not to mention save a lot of calories! And I'm so proud of you for how awesome you're doing!

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KAYECAN 3/9/2012 3:23PM

    You are so blessed to have a job you enjoy going to every day. We spend so much of our life at work that it would be a shame to not enjoy it. Makes me happy to hear that you and your hubby have turned into walking buddies. You couldn't ask for a better partner. Keep eating those veggies and walking those walks and you'll be the healthiest you've ever been. Good for you!!!
Have a great weekend and fill it with good healthy choices!!
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And thanks for the positive support while I've been in New York. Made me feel good.

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HIPPICHICK1 3/9/2012 10:48AM

    You keep getting healthy and your wishes will probably come true!
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Lovin my freggies

Monday, March 05, 2012

I was raised a vegetarian, and I naturally love fruits and veggies. But I've allowed myself to "forget" to eat as many as I should over these last few years. So recently I've been adding them to everything, and it feels great. They are the perfect side dish for any meal, breakfast, lunch or dinner. It's amazing how just a piece of fruit, half a bell pepper, some snap peas, a little broccolli, tomato slices.....etc., etc. can really be so incredibly satisfying and tasty and all around wonderful in every way. I am a tuna eater, probably eat atleast one tuna sandwich a week. Decided I'd spark it up with onions, pickles and tomatoes. Not only did it make it super tasty, but it also stretched my little can into two large portions, instead of one large portion. Also, just found a new fish I've never had before, Swai. It is really great. Got a 3 pound frozen package at Grocery Outlet for five bucks. Tim made tacos out of it yesetday with homemade pico de gallo, and it was SUPER DUPER delicious.

Being raised in a health concious houselhold, all of these little discoveries should be kind of a big DUH.........but I guess what I've been seeing lately is it's not that hard to eat healthier.......or that expensive. I've tricked myself into thinking that I had to shop at the Co-op or farmers market to get quality food........and although I love those places, I don't always have the money or time to shop there. So...........I'm begining to make the best of what I have. Brown rice, beans, fresh cheeses, whole grain breads/pastas, and even lots of organic freggies can be found really close to my house, at the bargain market, without breaking the bank. I find myself getting excited about what new concoctions I might dream up next. I'm finding that although not every meal, everyday is spot on perfect, I am making better decisions everyday. Lately it's been substituting water for nearly 100% of my liquid intake. It's simple, and it really saves on the calories. I used to drink milk or juice often with meals, or even inbetween meals, not realizing the calories I was consuming. I've stopped that, thankfully. I guess what I've really been seeing lately is that, no matter how slow I go on this healthy adventure I'm on, as long as I don't give up, I'll be able to find new and exciting ways to be healthier all the days of my life. Which is exciting. This is a HUGE theme for me, I've been awakening to this idea for awhile now...........some days it just really hits me that I am healthier than I was a few months back, and I intend on growing more and more healthy as the years go on. It's such a different frame of mind than I had when I was "dieting"..............I really despise dieting. It's all about how much weight can I loose in the shortest amount of time, usually not healthily, and definitely not mentally healthy...........atleast for me.

Well, sparkers, it's so nice to know some of you, and be a part of this community. I hope to get to know you all better and better as the years go on. Have a lovely week!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPICHICK1 3/7/2012 12:42PM

    I'm growing a veggie garden this year. First time in a long time! I love eating what I grow.
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BLVINBUTTERFLYS 3/6/2012 2:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROTTENAP 3/6/2012 10:39AM

    Thanks for sharing!! That was great!

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RITZIBROWN 3/5/2012 5:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WENDYLEE15 3/5/2012 4:11PM

    Great blog!!
Its awesome when we can incorporate more veggies in our meals. I recently bought a huge bag of spinach and have been adding it to everything..sandwiches, soups, chili, all of my sauces..ect. It makes everything healthier and prettier:)!

And you are right!! as long as we keep on going and don't give up..we are closer and closer to being healthier and healthier !! No more dieting..just eating to be healthy!!
You have a lovely week too !!

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YAMAHA49 3/5/2012 4:08PM

    What a great reminder that it's not hard to add freggies to all meals and that finding ways to be creative about it is fun! Thanks!

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Feeling much better

Thursday, March 01, 2012

It's been a week, today, since the miscarriage, and already I feel sooo much better. Thanks so much to all of you for the love and support, it means the world to me. I have lost nearly 6 pounds this week, which seems very odd, but I'm guessing that might be normal after a miscarriage. I'll take it!!! I'm still pretty exhausted, and am still taking a cat nap on my lunch breaks, but all in all I feel much better. I'm eating well, lots of fruit and veggies, whole grains and low fat dairy and protein. Went on a really nice walk last night with my husband after work.

Work has been going pretty well, all of the clients I told about the happenings have been really supportive. I've also, somehow, managed to meet our bills, even with having the time off. I have been pretty overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support we have recieved throughout this whole experience. It feels great to be loved.

Looking forward to spring with a passion. I love the warm weather, and really can't wait to have the longer days.......makes it easier to exericise before/and/or after work. I also really can't wait for the pool to open up. I LOVE to swim and it really burns the calories!!!

Good to be feeling better, I hope to start catching back up on my blog reading soon, I've been so out of the loop lately...............I really miss reading up on all of your adventures in the world of healthy living. I hope your weeks are going well, and thanks again for all of the lovins, I really needed it, and really appreciate it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLVINBUTTERFLYS 3/2/2012 8:12PM

    emoticonSorry for your loss!
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RITZIBROWN 3/2/2012 1:40PM

    Today feels & sounds like spring. It rained earlier & now we have a light fog showing off the buds on the trees. I feel that we'll wake up one morning and everything will be spring.
You have the perfect attitude for spring; coming out of a grey area into a world of greens & multicolored blooms.
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RIDMYCOCOON 3/2/2012 10:56AM

    BIIIIIIIG emoticon

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WENDYLEE15 3/1/2012 6:53PM

    I am so glad you are feeling better! I am right with you..I LOVE to swim too!! My favorite way to exercise in the summer! I can't wait! We don't have long to wait now!
Great job at staying positive ! Keep on Sparking!

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SHAMROCKY2K 3/1/2012 3:08PM

    You're keeping a great outlook and eating and exercising well. Yes.. looking forward to the spring.. today it feels like it already!
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Comment edited on: 3/1/2012 3:09:25 PM

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/1/2012 2:35PM

    You have a great attitude - I hope all the best for you as you continue to recover and improve your health :-D I can't wait for spring either!

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KAYECAN 3/1/2012 1:22PM

    I hear that positive tone in your blog and it makes me feel good. I'm glad you are focusing on your healthy lifestyle and improving in mind and body. Spring is my favorite time of the year. I can't wait for it to arrive here either. We've had snow the past two days and have been getting my exercise by shoveling.... ugh. I guess there is positives in everything if we just take the time to look.
Have a good day Steph and fill it with good healthy choices!!
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KNITTINGNAN 3/1/2012 11:50AM

  Your positive attitude is inspirational. Focus on improving your health.

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ROTTENAP 3/1/2012 11:43AM

    I'm so glad that your doing so well! Keep it up1

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Motivation for me

Monday, February 27, 2012







Found these last night, thought I'd share them.............makes me want to be the best me possible. Today was a hard day, VERY hard day, my hormones have not balanced out yet, at all, but the pain is getting better and that is a HUGE step in the right direction. Being patient with myself throughout this healing process is not exactly easy, but I'm trying to do my best. Each day the weather gets better, and my spirits are lifting. Hope you all have a had a good Monday...........I survived it.............and really, that's saying something!!!!

Spark on dear ones, keep it up, so I can see your spark, and be motivated to be sparky myself!!!
Hugs.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYLEE15 3/1/2012 6:54PM

    Awesome pics! Thanks so much for sharing !!

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KAI_ZEN 2/29/2012 8:50PM

    Those are great! Thanks for sharing the motivation!

Good job being patient with yourself as your hormones get sorted out. Hang in there!
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ME_HERE_NOW 2/29/2012 12:26AM

    awesome. was thinking about you on my way home tonite girl, sending good vibes. i can only imagine in your years of public interaction the stories you might have - this is my first time getting out there - have avoided it thus far and man, entertaining and strange - always!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/28/2012 11:45AM

    Love those pics- thanks for sharing!

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RIDMYCOCOON 2/28/2012 2:50AM

    Keep it up, Lovely.

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SHAMROCKY2K 2/27/2012 11:47PM

    VERY movitating.. thanks!! Spark on!

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RITZIBROWN 2/27/2012 11:40PM

    Steph, You have been through a great deal & emotional, spiritual, physical healing "take time". Oh how I used to dislike those 2 words. Life has taught me 'tis true. Positives, positives: you're sharing your emotions, you're reaching out, the spark is still there it just needs some light breaths to get it going. You have started that with the terrific pictures. I too favor "I'm not beautiful like you, I'm beautiful like me". Viva la difference! How wonderful to be unique. I'm off to emoticon. Saw your blog and really wanted to respond.
Love & light, Carol

Comment edited on: 2/27/2012 11:49:39 PM

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KAYECAN 2/27/2012 11:22PM

    Hi sparky.....thanks for sharing the motivational pictures. I especially like the one saying "I'm not beautiful like you, I'm beautiful like me". Kind of like all our journeys are so different.....here on sparks and even our journeys in life. All we can do is accept the journey God gives us and make the best of it. Your spark might be a little dim right now but it's coming back. It might even come back as the strongest spark yet. Just believe.
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Comment edited on: 2/27/2012 11:23:32 PM

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Back to the weight loss plan

Friday, February 24, 2012

Well, I am not pregnant anymore. It's kind of complicated. I had what you call a blighted ovum. The fertalized egg attatched to the wall, but didn't grow. I still went through the hormonal changes of being pregnant, but the fetus did not develop. I found out yesterday. I am quite down today, but am seeing this as an opportunity to get into shape and try again. I was quite scared about gaining weight throughout pregnancy, since I didn't loose enough to really afford to be able to gain any. So, I'm back at square one. Can't say I quite understand what this whole thing has been about,it's been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. But I am glad to have a plan. I hope to be back on here with a vengence as soon as I start feeling a little bit better physically. I missed you guys, and hope to be back on track following your blogs and seeing all the good work you've been doing.

Have a beautiful weekend, Love,
Steph

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANCINGGARDENER 3/7/2012 2:32PM

    O sweetness, this must sting so very much. Losing a pregnancy is gut wrenching but if it helps, know that more women than you'd ever guess have been there. There is a sisterhood of support surrounding you always.
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Bravo on seeing this sadness offers an opportunity to make yourself stronger and healthier. I am glad you have a plan, something to lean on, something to follow.
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HIPPICHICK1 3/7/2012 12:27PM

    As you know, I'm sorry for your loss and am continuing to send you good vibes.
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SSGAVIN 2/27/2012 10:05AM

    So sorry for the loss. Give yourself time to deal with the emotional roller coaster but don't give up. Let us know how we can support and encourage you. emoticon

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SNUZSUZ 2/27/2012 8:23AM

    I am sorry. My prayers are with you:)

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/25/2012 12:55PM

    emoticonto you . I've never heard of that so I'm interested to learn more. I'm glad you are seeing a little bit of the positive and can get closer to goal before being pregnant again. But I know it's hard so take some time for yourself :)

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RIDMYCOCOON 2/25/2012 7:19AM

    Stay strong emoticon

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EMRANA 2/24/2012 7:30PM

  I'm so sorry. Sending you so much love and support. emoticon

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KAI_ZEN 2/24/2012 4:46PM

    Emotional roller coaster for sure! I'm so very sorry.

We're here if you need ANYTHING! Just reach out and let us know!
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ROTTENAP 2/24/2012 3:35PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that we are here for you, and the the range of emotions you are going through are normal. My prayers and love go out to you!

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RITZIBROWN 2/24/2012 2:10PM

    we're here for you with compassion, love, kindness & support.
emoticon & emoticon emoticon

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WENDYLEE15 2/24/2012 1:49PM

    I am so very sorry. I hope you feel better real soon !! Tons of hugs prayers and blessings being sent your way!! emoticon emoticon

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BLUE42DOWN 2/24/2012 1:26PM

    emoticon

That would be quite the emotional roller-coaster, even without the hormones. If you feel the need to grieve, don't deny yourself that. You did lose something and that can hurt.

Welcome back.

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NATURALSTYLE 2/24/2012 1:10PM

    Know that we stand with you during this time.

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SEATTLESIMS 2/24/2012 12:00PM

    So sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully this means you will have a better chance of a healthy pregnancy later? I had a friend have this happen. Hope you feel better and things brighter soon!

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TEMPERANCE88 2/24/2012 11:23AM

    emoticon Praying for you, that things get better quickly and that your endeavors in your weight loss plan are successful. God bless.

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MAMAWLINDALOU 2/24/2012 10:39AM

    So sorry! I hope you get to feeling better soon. This is really hard on your emotions I have been there many times, It is what God planned and He knows what he is doing even though we don't understand it. I will be praying for you!!

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LIVINGFREE19 2/24/2012 10:37AM

    I am very sad to hear this. It is always hard when you lose a baby, which essentially , this is what it is it sounds like.
I hope you are able to meet your goals, and then try again when you are ready.
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SHAMROCKY2K 2/24/2012 10:37AM

    emoticon Hang in there. Exercise and sunshine might do your soul some good.
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Take care of you!

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