SOULFISH80   14,072
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Back to the weight loss plan

Friday, February 24, 2012

Well, I am not pregnant anymore. It's kind of complicated. I had what you call a blighted ovum. The fertalized egg attatched to the wall, but didn't grow. I still went through the hormonal changes of being pregnant, but the fetus did not develop. I found out yesterday. I am quite down today, but am seeing this as an opportunity to get into shape and try again. I was quite scared about gaining weight throughout pregnancy, since I didn't loose enough to really afford to be able to gain any. So, I'm back at square one. Can't say I quite understand what this whole thing has been about,it's been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. But I am glad to have a plan. I hope to be back on here with a vengence as soon as I start feeling a little bit better physically. I missed you guys, and hope to be back on track following your blogs and seeing all the good work you've been doing.

Have a beautiful weekend, Love,
Steph

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANCINGGARDENER 3/7/2012 2:32PM

    O sweetness, this must sting so very much. Losing a pregnancy is gut wrenching but if it helps, know that more women than you'd ever guess have been there. There is a sisterhood of support surrounding you always.
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Bravo on seeing this sadness offers an opportunity to make yourself stronger and healthier. I am glad you have a plan, something to lean on, something to follow.
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HIPPICHICK1 3/7/2012 12:27PM

    As you know, I'm sorry for your loss and am continuing to send you good vibes.
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SSGAVIN 2/27/2012 10:05AM

    So sorry for the loss. Give yourself time to deal with the emotional roller coaster but don't give up. Let us know how we can support and encourage you. emoticon

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SNUZSUZ 2/27/2012 8:23AM

    I am sorry. My prayers are with you:)

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/25/2012 12:55PM

    emoticonto you . I've never heard of that so I'm interested to learn more. I'm glad you are seeing a little bit of the positive and can get closer to goal before being pregnant again. But I know it's hard so take some time for yourself :)

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RIDMYCOCOON 2/25/2012 7:19AM

    Stay strong emoticon

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EMRANA 2/24/2012 7:30PM

  I'm so sorry. Sending you so much love and support. emoticon

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KAI_ZEN 2/24/2012 4:46PM

    Emotional roller coaster for sure! I'm so very sorry.

We're here if you need ANYTHING! Just reach out and let us know!
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ROTTENAP 2/24/2012 3:35PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that we are here for you, and the the range of emotions you are going through are normal. My prayers and love go out to you!

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RITZIBROWN 2/24/2012 2:10PM

    we're here for you with compassion, love, kindness & support.
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WENDYLEE15 2/24/2012 1:49PM

    I am so very sorry. I hope you feel better real soon !! Tons of hugs prayers and blessings being sent your way!! emoticon emoticon

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BLUE42DOWN 2/24/2012 1:26PM

    emoticon

That would be quite the emotional roller-coaster, even without the hormones. If you feel the need to grieve, don't deny yourself that. You did lose something and that can hurt.

Welcome back.

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NATURALSTYLE 2/24/2012 1:10PM

    Know that we stand with you during this time.

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SEATTLESIMS 2/24/2012 12:00PM

    So sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully this means you will have a better chance of a healthy pregnancy later? I had a friend have this happen. Hope you feel better and things brighter soon!

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TEMPERANCE88 2/24/2012 11:23AM

    emoticon Praying for you, that things get better quickly and that your endeavors in your weight loss plan are successful. God bless.

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MAMAWLINDALOU 2/24/2012 10:39AM

    So sorry! I hope you get to feeling better soon. This is really hard on your emotions I have been there many times, It is what God planned and He knows what he is doing even though we don't understand it. I will be praying for you!!

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LIVINGFREE19 2/24/2012 10:37AM

    I am very sad to hear this. It is always hard when you lose a baby, which essentially , this is what it is it sounds like.
I hope you are able to meet your goals, and then try again when you are ready.
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SHAMROCKY2K 2/24/2012 10:37AM

    emoticon Hang in there. Exercise and sunshine might do your soul some good.
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Take care of you!

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What I did instead of exercising this week

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Well, this week has been a doosie. Finished my medi-cal papers, found the clinic I will be going to for all my prenatal stuff, watched as my husband broke his back helping my mom move, worked my booty off at work, and then yesterday took care of my husband after he had two seizures...........because he worked so hard moving my mom and didn't get enough sleep. It's been a hard week. Since I make commission, I never know what I am going to bring home, so sometimes that means I have to choose between paying a bill and eating, since I am pregnant, as stressful as it is, I had to choose eating this week. So, I didn't exercise, it really didn't even cross my mind........maybe a few times, but didn't stick. And I KNOW if I had, I would have felt soooo much better, I always do, but I didn't. But, I did find a new website to alleviate stress and free my mind a bit, because when you are not exercising, SP seems to be the last place you want to be. (It's a guilt thing.) So, I found Pinterest, are any of you on it? It's a dreamer paradise. So incredibly fun, I love it. No, I don't want to spend all my free time on there and not exercise anymore, I just was appreciative of it this week. It really eased my weary mind. So if any of you are on there, or get on that site, message me your name, and I'll give you mine and we can follow eachother.........it's soooo fun!

So, I hope all of you beautiful people had a better week than me. I plan on starting this new one on a better foot. I have my first doctors appointment on Wednesday, very excited. Found out the clinic I am going through uses primarily midwives throughout the prenatal process, which makes me very happy, I would have loved to just get a midwife and do it at home, like my mother and SIL, but my husband couldn't handle that, at all!!!!

I missed you guys this week, hope you are rocking those fit mins and hitting all your nutritional markers. Praying I can be in the land of mantaining for as long as possible with this pregnancy, not looking forward to gaining (hence the reason I was so guilty for not exercising this week).........hopefully it will be controlled gaining!!!

Love you guys!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYECAN 2/18/2012 6:08PM

    I am justing sending a bunch of hugs to an amazing, strong lady that even though she has so many burdens to face, she still smiles and wishes other people well. What an inspiration you are in how to face life. I wish I could carry some of your burdens for you. God has a BIG plan for you.
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RIDMYCOCOON 2/18/2012 12:09PM

    In my opinion, when pregnant, you should just keep up on the things you were doing. Just keep eating healthy with lots of fruits and veggies and exercise when you can and when you know its time. Obviously, this week was enough exercise with it's stress. Please do not be hard on yourself. Keep being good to yourself. Your biggest priority is you and the baby. Don't worry so much about loosing weight right now and just stay focused on eating healthy yummy foods and keep on keepin' on with the walking as much as possible.

I was with a man for 6 years who frequently had grand mal seizures. It is a delicate situation. The best thing for you both was take it easy and love one another. Trust your inner voice and please don't feel guilty about anything. As far as I am concerned you did exactly what you needed to...you even found another community to connect with... That is healthy thing.

I am so happy to hear that your pregnancy plan is starting to take form. Midwives are a wonderful support. I can't wait to hear how it goes. Let me know :)

I am sorry you had a stinky week. I did too. Keep your chin up and keep allowing the light of this website to penetrate your health :)

I love ya emoticon

ps kale is on sale these days in calif. grab a bunch and sauté it lightly in some olive oil and garlic maybe with a little bit of walnuts (also on sale at grocery outlet) XOX

Comment edited on: 2/18/2012 12:13:26 PM

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It's official

Monday, February 13, 2012

I am thinking as if the 5 home pregnancy tests were not enough to know that I am def. pregnant, I had to wait for the "official" test from the doctor. So, yes, it is real. Doc said it's I'm prego, so I'm really prego! I have turned in the last of my medi-cal papers and started the WIC program. Seems like even though I'm not always sure how my next meal is going to get to me, this whole pregnancy thing might just work out smoother than I'd expected. Being poor isn't the end of the world, it's just an excuse to get crafty in all the little ways we can pinch pennies and still have a quality life. Feels kind of good to know that even in the hardest times, God still looks out for me. A kind word from a friend, some sincere advice from another, this road really isn't all that bad. I feel like this little baby might just have a chance after all!!!

Hope you all had a nice Valentines weekend, or have something nice planned for tomorrow. I really appreciate the love and support you've all freely given me. It's brought so much strength and peace. I hope your week has started off well. Good luck in all of your adventures both present and future.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHLORINE-JUNKIE 2/18/2012 1:07AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/17/2012 6:28PM

    emoticon & emoticon AGAIN... OFFICIALLY!

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RIDMYCOCOON 2/14/2012 7:41PM

    Thanks! Right back at ya!

And, Oh yeah, this baby stands one of the greatest chances a babe could have! Yes! All really good news!

XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOX

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SLIMINMIND 2/14/2012 12:53AM

    Congrats!!!! I am so happy for you! A new little life and its sound like you are glowing already! Bless you and a will pray for you and the baby!

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KAYECAN 2/13/2012 10:37PM

    I'm real happy for you guys. It's good you finally got to see a doctor and it's also good you got signed up for the WIC program. It is a very good program. You might think you are poor moneywise, but you are rich in so many other ways. Have a Happy Valentine's Day.
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SWEETMERI 2/13/2012 8:37PM

    Congratulations on your positive test!!! WOOHOO! So exciting! Things will work out....just have faith, and keep your positive attitude and you will be great!

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FRANANN3 2/13/2012 8:12PM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!Enjoy every moment! It goes soooo quickly! I am so happy to hear how God is helping you in so many special ways. May He continue to Bless all 3 of you always!

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PURPLELVR7 2/13/2012 8:07PM

    emoticon

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EMRANA 2/13/2012 7:45PM

  Aw, so sweet! I love how excited you are ~ I can feel your glow through the computer screen.

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USMAWIFE 2/13/2012 6:51PM

    CONGRATS on being pregnant. Between WIC and God, they will help provide meals for you and your little one.

Happy Valentine's Day also

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Little pearls

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Today in church the message really hit home, and as I thought about it, I realized it was applicable to weight loss and healthy living also. The pastor brought up 5 key points, to remember in life to help you get over trials/achieve your dreams:

Don't be anxious or fret over your toubles. Hard times will inevitably come, but we don't have to sink down into the muck and mud, we can attempt to remain positive, and looking forward. Dwelling on the bad that is going on around us leaves no room for the positive future to take hold.

Pray for anything and everything (to whatever it is you hold as holy). Do not cease with prayer, ask for anything you need/desire.........patience, persistence, stregth, hope, etc.

In your prayer, have a heart of thanksgiving. Rejoice in what you have, and let God (or whoever you see as your creator) know in abundance how thankful you are for all that is given to you each and every day.

Think right thoughts. Do not pay too much attention to the dark or down thoughts. Do mantras of peace, light and love. The power of thought is overwhelming.

When we do these things in faith, there is a peace that is promised. We must remember this, and hold steady and fast until this peace is acheived.

I see these 5 elements as key to my life, and also as keys to anything we really want to achieve, with lasting effects, in life. I know you may not all believe in God, but most of us believe in something higher than ourselves, something that created this wild, wonderful world and all of it's inhabitants. Draw on that strength, it is there waiting to be called upon, to assist you in achieving your peace.

Hope you all had a great weekend!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYECAN 2/12/2012 9:51PM

    Stephanie..... thank you for sharing this blog. I believe in God and He has helped me in many ways. I don't always understand His plan for me....and I've even questioned it many, many times because it just doesn't make sense the hardship He brings to many of us......but then some door opens and it just restores your faith all over again. Practicing your 5 key points is basically how we are suppose to live our life. Sometimes don't you feel like you were in the right place at the right time. I'm glad you made it to church today. I hope you went on your walk today. And I'm glad you are such a positive influence on us.
YOU ARE emoticon

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Embrace it

Friday, February 10, 2012

Haven't been sleeping much, partly the excitement, partly cramps. I have had cramps all night, every night for about 2 weeks now. Sometimes they are very strong, other times not so bad. I can't wait to see a doctor! I've been googling everything, so it looks as though that is not that uncommon, and is nothing to really worry about. Of course I am super scared about taking any pain meds, but a few of the nights I HAD to take a tylenol, which I read is safe for pregnancy.

I'm really doing well on my nutrition intake. Had a wonderful stir-fry last night with yellow bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, onions and chicken, all with a little black pepper sauce..............super great. In fact, I'm thinking that will be breakfast too!!! Yes, I already have pregnancy food daydreams!!! I can only imagine what it will be like in a few months!! Atleast I've been craving healthy food, lot's and lot's of fruit and veggies, whole grains, lean meats and lowfat dairy. I feel very good about my diet. I am tracking every bite on babyfit.com, esp. since my mom drilled it into my head that I need to get 100 grams of protein everyday. Babyfit doesn't have as high of recommendations on protein as that, but close.

It is already feeling like spring here. It has been the absolute mildest winter I have ever seen here!! It only got below freezing one night this whole winter, and it hasn't rained much. Kind of nice, since where I am from it has mild winters most years. I keep thinking about how nice it is going to be to be able to swim during the last part of the pregnancy. I LOVE to swim, and swam nearly everyday last summer. I am sure that will feel really great, I wish I could go right now!!!

Already hearing about the election in the barbershop, I hate politics!! Working in a public place, esp. one where people talk a lot, about their opinions, is fun sometimes, but not on election years. There are always the far lefts and the far rights, and when they come in at the same time and start flapping their mouths............whewwwww, watch out!!! It's not pretty! I try to stay as nuetral as possible. Although a man was in my chair last night, talking about anti abortion and how marriage is just for a man and a woman, and I couldn't hold back. Mind you, I'm not super liberal, and def. not conservative, I try to stay semi-balanced and vote both parties if I feel strongly for a candidate/measure. BUT I just wasn't having it last night!! I told him that I was a human first and I stood up for ALL human's rights. I just can't stand the negative slashing talk against people who just want to live their lives the best way they can. I have a feeling being pregnant and being a mom is going to bring a lot more of this side of me out!!! I am 32 now, not a baby anymore, I think I've earned the right to stand up for myself!! I just don't want to go too overboard, that might be bad for business!!! Haaa!!!

Hope these cramps go away, I could really use a few more hours of sleep. I should be using this time to start my baby a blanket! I love to knit and crochet, and I'd just about ran out of people to give my creations to. Now I have someone I can give them to for the rest of their life...............hehehhehehehehe!

Yeah, gonna say it, if I have a girl I already have the name picked out, HAVE had it picked out for about 8 years!!!! Sophia Lynn..................yay! So pretty. I had a really influential teacher in college, when I was studying to be a Waldorf teacher, her name was Sophia and I have loved that name ever since. And my mother's middle name is Lynn, and the two are so pretty together, so that was quite easy for me! Now if it's a boy, that is another story!!!! My husband has a few names in mind, but we are not leaning towards anything yet.

Wish me luck, I have my medi-cal interview today at 2:30. I am really anxious, and am hoping everything goes well so that I can see a doctor ASAP! I am usually not overly excited about doctors, but I feel that for this occasion, I'm pretty interested in what they will have to say.

I hope you all are being sparked in new and exciting ways each and every day. This SPARKED journey is quite remarkable.............I never dreamed it would lead me to motherhood! Really incredible. So drink that water, log those fit mins, eat those nutrient rich meals, because you are worth it, and there is a life waiting for you that you never dreamed was possible. Open your arms and embrace it!!!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMRANA 2/10/2012 8:16PM

  I'm really loving being able to feel your joy through the words on your page. So happy for you!

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BLUE42DOWN 2/10/2012 2:35PM

    That stir-fry sounds absolutely delicious! I love me some bell peppers, for sure.

I so feel for you on the politics thing. If people wanted to actually discuss and learn how OTHERS felt about things, it might not be so bad. But almost every political "discussion" I've been around was more about individual statements of their opinions which are, of course, correct. Ugh.

Beautiful name for a daughter. Love the little almost-maniacal laugh of triumph at having a lifelong recipient for your needle-work.

May your appointment go well!

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RIDMYCOCOON 2/10/2012 2:34PM

    Ahhh. So nice to read this blog. Sounds like scrumptious meals there. I know your meeting will go swimmingly. And speaking of swimming, I am stoked that you get to be in the water anytime but especially during this time and over the next mesters!! That was a huge tool in getting through mine. There simply is nothing like it. Something ancient.

Don't forget about W.I.C. (okay I won't nag you anymore. that was the last time I will mention it :)

You are taking folic acid in your multivitamin yes?

Thank you for your sweet reminders and focus of importance closing emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/10/2012 2:35:56 PM

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KAYECAN 2/10/2012 8:34AM

    Good morning sunshine.....(or maybe we should call ourselves moonshine since we were both up so early.....ooops, no moonshine for you....you're pregnant!!!). Loved your blog. Your mind is just swarming with thoughts all over the board. No wonder you can't sleep. Hey...do you always eat such spicy foods like bell peppers, onions and black pepper sauce? maybe they won't be agreeing with you now that you are pregnant....maybe the cause of the cramps???? just a thought. Once you see your doctor you will get lots of good answers to your questions.
And I love the name you have picked out. She's a beautiful baby already and so lucky to have you for her mom.
Thank you for the goodie you gave me this morning and all the special words you attached to it. You have an awesome day friend.
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