Friday, February 24, 2012
Well, I am not pregnant anymore. It's kind of complicated. I had what you call a blighted ovum. The fertalized egg attatched to the wall, but didn't grow. I still went through the hormonal changes of being pregnant, but the fetus did not develop. I found out yesterday. I am quite down today, but am seeing this as an opportunity to get into shape and try again. I was quite scared about gaining weight throughout pregnancy, since I didn't loose enough to really afford to be able to gain any. So, I'm back at square one. Can't say I quite understand what this whole thing has been about,it's been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. But I am glad to have a plan. I hope to be back on here with a vengence as soon as I start feeling a little bit better physically. I missed you guys, and hope to be back on track following your blogs and seeing all the good work you've been doing.
Have a beautiful weekend, Love,
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Well, this week has been a doosie. Finished my medi-cal papers, found the clinic I will be going to for all my prenatal stuff, watched as my husband broke his back helping my mom move, worked my booty off at work, and then yesterday took care of my husband after he had two seizures...........because he worked so hard moving my mom and didn't get enough sleep. It's been a hard week. Since I make commission, I never know what I am going to bring home, so sometimes that means I have to choose between paying a bill and eating, since I am pregnant, as stressful as it is, I had to choose eating this week. So, I didn't exercise, it really didn't even cross my mind........maybe a few times, but didn't stick. And I KNOW if I had, I would have felt soooo much better, I always do, but I didn't. But, I did find a new website to alleviate stress and free my mind a bit, because when you are not exercising, SP seems to be the last place you want to be. (It's a guilt thing.) So, I found Pinterest, are any of you on it? It's a dreamer paradise. So incredibly fun, I love it. No, I don't want to spend all my free time on there and not exercise anymore, I just was appreciative of it this week. It really eased my weary mind. So if any of you are on there, or get on that site, message me your name, and I'll give you mine and we can follow eachother.........it's soooo fun!
So, I hope all of you beautiful people had a better week than me. I plan on starting this new one on a better foot. I have my first doctors appointment on Wednesday, very excited. Found out the clinic I am going through uses primarily midwives throughout the prenatal process, which makes me very happy, I would have loved to just get a midwife and do it at home, like my mother and SIL, but my husband couldn't handle that, at all!!!!
I missed you guys this week, hope you are rocking those fit mins and hitting all your nutritional markers. Praying I can be in the land of mantaining for as long as possible with this pregnancy, not looking forward to gaining (hence the reason I was so guilty for not exercising this week).........hopefully it will be controlled gaining!!!
Love you guys!
Monday, February 13, 2012
I am thinking as if the 5 home pregnancy tests were not enough to know that I am def. pregnant, I had to wait for the "official" test from the doctor. So, yes, it is real. Doc said it's I'm prego, so I'm really prego! I have turned in the last of my medi-cal papers and started the WIC program. Seems like even though I'm not always sure how my next meal is going to get to me, this whole pregnancy thing might just work out smoother than I'd expected. Being poor isn't the end of the world, it's just an excuse to get crafty in all the little ways we can pinch pennies and still have a quality life. Feels kind of good to know that even in the hardest times, God still looks out for me. A kind word from a friend, some sincere advice from another, this road really isn't all that bad. I feel like this little baby might just have a chance after all!!!
Hope you all had a nice Valentines weekend, or have something nice planned for tomorrow. I really appreciate the love and support you've all freely given me. It's brought so much strength and peace. I hope your week has started off well. Good luck in all of your adventures both present and future.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Today in church the message really hit home, and as I thought about it, I realized it was applicable to weight loss and healthy living also. The pastor brought up 5 key points, to remember in life to help you get over trials/achieve your dreams:
Don't be anxious or fret over your toubles. Hard times will inevitably come, but we don't have to sink down into the muck and mud, we can attempt to remain positive, and looking forward. Dwelling on the bad that is going on around us leaves no room for the positive future to take hold.
Pray for anything and everything (to whatever it is you hold as holy). Do not cease with prayer, ask for anything you need/desire.........patience, persistence, stregth, hope, etc.
In your prayer, have a heart of thanksgiving. Rejoice in what you have, and let God (or whoever you see as your creator) know in abundance how thankful you are for all that is given to you each and every day.
Think right thoughts. Do not pay too much attention to the dark or down thoughts. Do mantras of peace, light and love. The power of thought is overwhelming.
When we do these things in faith, there is a peace that is promised. We must remember this, and hold steady and fast until this peace is acheived.
I see these 5 elements as key to my life, and also as keys to anything we really want to achieve, with lasting effects, in life. I know you may not all believe in God, but most of us believe in something higher than ourselves, something that created this wild, wonderful world and all of it's inhabitants. Draw on that strength, it is there waiting to be called upon, to assist you in achieving your peace.
Hope you all had a great weekend!!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Haven't been sleeping much, partly the excitement, partly cramps. I have had cramps all night, every night for about 2 weeks now. Sometimes they are very strong, other times not so bad. I can't wait to see a doctor! I've been googling everything, so it looks as though that is not that uncommon, and is nothing to really worry about. Of course I am super scared about taking any pain meds, but a few of the nights I HAD to take a tylenol, which I read is safe for pregnancy.
I'm really doing well on my nutrition intake. Had a wonderful stir-fry last night with yellow bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, onions and chicken, all with a little black pepper sauce..............super great. In fact, I'm thinking that will be breakfast too!!! Yes, I already have pregnancy food daydreams!!! I can only imagine what it will be like in a few months!! Atleast I've been craving healthy food, lot's and lot's of fruit and veggies, whole grains, lean meats and lowfat dairy. I feel very good about my diet. I am tracking every bite on babyfit.com, esp. since my mom drilled it into my head that I need to get 100 grams of protein everyday. Babyfit doesn't have as high of recommendations on protein as that, but close.
It is already feeling like spring here. It has been the absolute mildest winter I have ever seen here!! It only got below freezing one night this whole winter, and it hasn't rained much. Kind of nice, since where I am from it has mild winters most years. I keep thinking about how nice it is going to be to be able to swim during the last part of the pregnancy. I LOVE to swim, and swam nearly everyday last summer. I am sure that will feel really great, I wish I could go right now!!!
Already hearing about the election in the barbershop, I hate politics!! Working in a public place, esp. one where people talk a lot, about their opinions, is fun sometimes, but not on election years. There are always the far lefts and the far rights, and when they come in at the same time and start flapping their mouths............whewwwww, watch out!!! It's not pretty! I try to stay as nuetral as possible. Although a man was in my chair last night, talking about anti abortion and how marriage is just for a man and a woman, and I couldn't hold back. Mind you, I'm not super liberal, and def. not conservative, I try to stay semi-balanced and vote both parties if I feel strongly for a candidate/measure. BUT I just wasn't having it last night!! I told him that I was a human first and I stood up for ALL human's rights. I just can't stand the negative slashing talk against people who just want to live their lives the best way they can. I have a feeling being pregnant and being a mom is going to bring a lot more of this side of me out!!! I am 32 now, not a baby anymore, I think I've earned the right to stand up for myself!! I just don't want to go too overboard, that might be bad for business!!! Haaa!!!
Hope these cramps go away, I could really use a few more hours of sleep. I should be using this time to start my baby a blanket! I love to knit and crochet, and I'd just about ran out of people to give my creations to. Now I have someone I can give them to for the rest of their life...............hehehhehehehehe!
Yeah, gonna say it, if I have a girl I already have the name picked out, HAVE had it picked out for about 8 years!!!! Sophia Lynn..................yay! So pretty. I had a really influential teacher in college, when I was studying to be a Waldorf teacher, her name was Sophia and I have loved that name ever since. And my mother's middle name is Lynn, and the two are so pretty together, so that was quite easy for me! Now if it's a boy, that is another story!!!! My husband has a few names in mind, but we are not leaning towards anything yet.
Wish me luck, I have my medi-cal interview today at 2:30. I am really anxious, and am hoping everything goes well so that I can see a doctor ASAP! I am usually not overly excited about doctors, but I feel that for this occasion, I'm pretty interested in what they will have to say.
I hope you all are being sparked in new and exciting ways each and every day. This SPARKED journey is quite remarkable.............I never dreamed it would lead me to motherhood! Really incredible. So drink that water, log those fit mins, eat those nutrient rich meals, because you are worth it, and there is a life waiting for you that you never dreamed was possible. Open your arms and embrace it!!!
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