Wednesday, August 24, 2011
So the scale is not my friend, this week I lost a little over two pounds (by not eating enough calories) then I gained those back plus a little over a pound. So now I am 1.4 pounds heavier than when I started last week. And I've been exercising nearly every day, and haven't gone over my calories once. BUT, and this is the big but, my body feels different today. I've been pushing myself in my workouts, trying to get the most out of my time, and doing my spark guided strength training on non-consecutive days, AND I can feel it already. I really can! So, for now I have to trust that the weight will come off when it is time. And in the meantime I'm going to stick with what I'm doing and push my limits because it feels really great. Oh, and my energy levels have definitely increased this week. I was feeling pretty darn awesome at work yesterday. Seems like the blahness of my workday was gone and replaced with satisfying meaning. Sounds all too good to be true for one week of exercise and eating better, but I'm telling you, it's TRUE! OK, the pool is waiting for me......swim those laps!!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I didn't run far, but this morning I woke up and went on a speed walk, never really walked that fast before, I was really sweaty when I got home. AND during my walk I ran little bits! I read something on here about working out as hard as you can in intervals, and I don't know exatly what that means, but my interpretation was what I did this morning. Walk fast, run as hard as I can, walk fast, etc. I must admit, I've been walking for years, but I've never walked that fast, or ran that hard during a walk, and my body seems to be responding already, I mean I feel pretty darn good! Both emotionally (being proud of myself) and physically, there is a little warm fuzzy feeling in my heart right now! I'm so excited about this whole journey and so much of this is new to me. I haven't exercised and meant it in close to 15 years. I've never eaten a really balanced diet, I used to do low carb, but was so strict that all I ate was meat and cheese! So yeah, running, and eating a smoothie with spinach in it for breakfast, all in one week! Sparkpeople, I LOVE YOU!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I read a good article on here today about not beating ourselves up, and not doing that negative inner dialogue thing we all do. That really helped me. I try to have a gentle spirit toward others, but when it comes to myself I somehow fall short. I really hope that in time I can accept where I am and know that I have the power to change my circumstances, one day at a time. I am kind of surprised by the whilrwind of emotions I've had this week. It's been quite a journey so far, and it's only just begun. I feel that everything happens for a reason and that I found SP for a reason, at the right time, MY time. I am such an all or nothing person, and I didn't really realize that until recently. I feel like if I can't run a marathon tomorrow, then I may as well not even try to do anything. That is something I am kind of surprised to be witnessing in myself. I hope this is just a phase. I am sure once I make it through fast break and prove to myself that I can have consistency in my actions, then I will have the gentle and persistent side of me come out that I am really curious about getting to know. Thank God for SP! Because I just realized what I'd be doing this time about a week ago.......you guessed it! Eating, and eating and sitting and eating. Tomorrow is another day, filled with opportunites for healthy change. Hopefully more exercise.......I'm suddenly feeling very motivated to try new things.....and get my bike fixed! Had it three years, rode it about 10 times, I wanna put a few zeros onto the end of that number!
Monday, August 22, 2011
OK!!! Really??? I used to be a lifegaurd, swam a mile a day, did the stairstepper at night, ate only low carb meals, and was a pretty average, cute, young girl. What happened to me? Ten years and now I can barely do leg lifts? Even the stretching seemed hard. I can't beleive I am this out of shape. I mean how did I let this happen? I can't beleive it, and yet I must, there I am, can't avoid it, can't walk away, must look, must not ignore. I really can't beleive it has taken this site to make me finally address what has been staring me in the face for atleast 6 years now.........obesity. That word makes me cringe. Will I join a gym and work out for hours a day to rememdy this atrocity to my health? I can't see that happening. Will I take one day at a time and truly attempt to heal this broken body? I sure hope so. If not now, WHEN? I've only been on this site for less than a week. So I can't chide myself too harshly yet, but those thoughts, those pestering, nagging thoughts are alive and well. "You haven't overcame this yet, with all diets and groups and talking incessantly about it, so why now?" I am too young to feel this darn unhealthy. And I've always cared about my health, that is the strangest, wierdest, most hard to handle part of it. I've always considered myself healthy. Wow, 261.6, hmmmmm, does that sound healthy? I weigh more than professional football players that are much taller than me, and pure muscle. But tomorrow is another day. I'm so afraid that when the excitement, and newness of SP wears off, will I still come back? Will I still track my food? Will I still track my fitness goals? Can I? Will I? Only time will tell. I am the only one that can make these changes, so if not now, if not this.........I can't bear the thought. On that note, until another day, another day filled with trials, tribulations and the reality of who I am and where I am. Another day filled with inspiration to be better?! Only God knows. I sure hope this is the answer for me! I feel like I've waited lifetimes to find a path to healthy weight, eating, LIFE. I sure pray that this is it. And to think, this morning I was just so excited to be here, to have found this site, now that was a quick fall!! I guess I have to come to terms with the reality of the issue and look at it deeply, from all sides before I can ever hope to overcome it.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Been on here since Wednesday, and I know you aren't supposed to weigh yourself but once a week, but I got a little excited, and I already lost two pounds!! I know that treating this as a sprint won't work, but I am really motivated now. Plus I spun 500 goodie points on the bonus wheel today! What a good day. My next goal, besides making sure I do my fast breaks everday, is to be able to plan my weeks meals. That seems like a daunting task right now, but I know anything is possible!!! Thanks to everyone on here, you are all beautiful!
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