Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Hmmmmmsies. Welps. Yup. It's Tuesday. Not having quite as spendid of a start to my week as I did last week. Still happy about surpassing 500 fit mins this month. Lets me know I am slowly creeping back into the saddle again. Work was cool today. Had a guy tell me that he only asks women on dates so that they will in turn shave his back for him after a few good meals out!! Haa, I've NEVER heard that before, and I thought I'd heard it all!
My sister seems to be doing better. She was hospitalized and medicated and has called my mom multiple times to let her know that she is OK, and is sorry for all she has put her through. I am glad to know that she seems to finally realize that she has a real problem, and seems to, atleast momentarily, not be blaming all of us for her unbalanced recent actions. My hubby is finishing up his gaurd card classes and should be testing by next week sometime. Once he gets the card he can apply to any security gaurd jobs nearby........not the most high paying or glamorous job, but for now, a job is a job. He seems motivated about it all, which makes me happy.
My 32nd birthday is on Sunday...........yeah, Superbowl Sunday. Looks like we are going to mom's for turkey dinner, and she doesn't have cable, so hopefully I'll miss it. Although I did hear that there was a Ferris Bueller spoof commercial reenacting parts of the film with Mattew Broderick in it, but not really worth watching the whole stinking game for.....esp. not on my special day.
God is good. I did a strict budget analysis this month, figuring up exactly per day what I have to make in order to pay all of our bills (I work commission), and I've either hit or surpassed my goal everyday this month................so YES, we have been able to eat! Wooo Hooooo!!! Excited for hubby boy to get back to work, but I am quite happy that I've been able to keep us afloat on my own. When I lived in So Cal I made bank.............serious bank. But since we've moved to Nor Cal the money flow just hasn't been the same. But, surviving is good, surviving is great, can't complain about it one bit.
Subscibed to a great newsletter from Food Matters. Hippichick suggested it, and it is quite informative and eye opening. I highly recommend taking a look at it if you have a free minute.(You can find the link on her blog from today.)
Looking forward to taking the day after my b-day off. Used to have every Sunday/Monday off, but for now I've been pulling the 6 day work week, kinda miss my home time. Think we might go play Bingo Monday night for my special day. Haven't played in about 10 years, and found out it is only seven bucks to play at the Elks Lodge near my work. I won $250 the last time I played, so I'm daydreaming that I'll get lucky again!!
Hope the begining of your week is going well. Love you guys........I truly do.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Had a great day, didn't do anything special, worked this morning, didn't get much done around the house, but still had a great day!!
Yep, that's about how it felt................somewhere like that, in my heart and mind.
And here is a little part of what made the day fun............
It's amazing after 8 years, and having no money, and all that we've been through these last months, we can still make eachother laugh. And really, isn't that what it's all about really, a little love and happiness? So, off to play some Atari and Tetris with the hubs, gonna kick his booty when we get to Tetris!!!!
Hope you had a great weekend. Love where you are and who you are with, because tomorrow is not a gaurantee............but we do have right here, right now.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Well after I don't know how many months of not losing, recovering from the holidays, family drama, etc., etc..........I am losing weight again and it feels great. I am drinking all my water, exercising everyday, tracking all food and not giving in to the inner whiner. I was going rather slow on the treadmill last night, which actually allowed me to go longer...........and when I was done and tracked the minutes/calories/miles ratio on here, it turns out I burned just as many calories going slow and long and I would have short and fast...............OK, not brain surgery, but YES another little epiphany!!! So, I realized, even if I really, really don't want to, I can always find the energy for an hour leisurely stroll, either outside or on the treadmill, so hey, no excuses............at all, to not kick booty. It's just certain times of the month, or after work on a particularly busy day, I just plain don't have the energy to run, or give it 110%..............but I realized last night that even 50% is better than 0%, and there is no end to this journey. I am not going to wake up one day, having achieved a perfect BMI and then never have to worry about exercise or calorie intake again.............nope not gonna happen. So, may as well be happy over the little tiny good days, just as much as the BIG HUGE good days. Yeah, I am really in a philosophical period of my weight loss journey.........I've failed so very many times, and I finally see that I am not going to fail..............and I am really learning something about myself and others and life and goals and lots of things by not giving up. By being consistant I am being alive, and alive feels pretty great. Much better than drowing in food fog year after year.
Back to work, hope you all get your groove on today, I know I will be.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
On my morning walk, which I didn't really want to do, but did anyway, I came across a simple little epiphany. I realized, as I hit the chilly morning air, taking one step at a time, slowly, reluctantly even, nearly turning back multiple times, something quite true, quite real came to me about the path I'm on. I realized that my weight loss journey is a lot like that walk, and a lot like life. Today's walk really was the first time I just wasn't feeling it, but in return for following through, even though I didn't want to, I saw that this whole journey, in weight loss and in life is taken just one step at a time, just like my walk this morning. If I would have stopped, or turned around, I would not have reached my destination. By not stopping though, and by not turning around, just taking it one step at a time, I did reach my goal, and felt pretty darn good about it. So one little step at a time, in the right direction, without stopping or turning around will indeed, always lead you ultimately in the direction of your goal. I can't fail at weight loss, or at life if I just take one little step at a time, in the right direction. Yeah, simple, I know, but for some reason this morning, it felt quite profound. Wonder as the years go by what other simple jewels of life I will come upon. (Reading this right now makes me see that this really is the mission statement of SP!! Funny that it's taken nearly 5 months to hit me!!!! )
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Reading a blog on here really inspired me to do this for myself. Because I love myself, deeply, truly, fully, and dearly, and I deserve to have dreams, vibrant dreams, dreams that if not dreamt of first, could never manifest in reality. Regardless of what is going on in life, or what stresses spiral up, around and about me, my dreams are still important. So, in the spirit of self admiration and sweet, lofty, lovely dreams, I will dream up my vision of the Ideal Me.
The ideal me loves into every action, word, thought, and feeling each and every moment of everday. Love for myself, my world, my family, my sexy/impossibly complicated/hilarious/unpredictable spouse, my body, my past, present and future, my God and anyone and everything that comes my way, regardless of it's initial impact of pleasure or pain.
Personal health and beauty:
The ideal me has a very balanced, interesting, open-minded, creative, loving relationship to all kinds of unique, invigorating, ethnic, wholesome, vital, healthily produced, dynamic foods, supplements, tonics, cleanses, fibers, emoillents, and body and hair ointments of any and every kind, both for ingestion and topical applications, preferably all homemade, or locally bought, or produced by small, righteous businesses. The ideal me knows, and applies said knowledge in all areas of recipes both traditional and unique, using above mentioned goodies, fresh herbs, oils, flower essences of all nature of pure and wonderful ingredients, all homegrown or locally purchased. In my ideal universe my husband loves every well balanced, nutritious and delicious meal I make, and plays an active role in all of my cooking/gardening/creating processes so that we grow together in health and in love.
The ideal me travels often and freely, being just as comfortable in The Hamptons as I am visiting a tribe in Uganda. I exeperience the world in all it's lustrous vibrance, and create unique and compelling works of photographic and poetic beauty to depict to those around me the granduer of a life unfettered. I have the time, money and energy to research thoroughly the art, history, architecture and geographic nuances of each area before I go there, thus having a broad idea of the must sees/dos. I engage in a variety of outdoor activities from snorkling and scuba diving, to snow skiing, dirt bike riding, ziplining, mountain climbing, kayaking, hangliding, sky diving, river rafting, parasailing and any and every other activity that peaks my interest, and I do them in the best places in the world that they can be done.
The ideal me has enough time and energy to be an active and productive part of the charity of my choice, ideally the local homeless shelter. I have enough money and time to devote myself to the real needs of the community, and I educate myself in all ways that will better my relationship to the people in need.
The ideal me looks at my body and sees a flawless work of art. I am comfortable for any occasion in any attire. I am free to be me. I exercise consistantly, and enjoy the process. I love to be healthy, and I love doing what it takes to mantain health. My outer layers reflect the luminosity of my inner life.
The ideal me has a perfect balance between work, play, volunteering, healthy lifestyle and a happy relationship with my loved ones. I do not neglect my art, and have enough time, space and money to do any project I wish, without holding back due to lack of any of these key elements. I love my work, but also my life and do not let either aspect overtake the other, but instead nurish one another. I can't see exactly what the ideal me is doing for money? Art, healing, teaching, or maybe still barbering?! I have a draw to all of them, but the work isn't really what matters to me, it's what comes from the work, the relationships that are forged and the love that is made.
The ideal me loves myself and God so much that I never have to guess wether I am being punished for being bad, or wether I have earned God's love and mercy or not. The ideal me knows that to be alive is to experience times or pleasure and times of pain, and that in the times of pain I must see that I have not fallen from God's good graces, nor should I feel guilty towards myself for being human. The ideal me follows through on all promptings from God, no matter how big or small, and when I can't or don't, I do not go into a desperate despair, but instead see that as an opportunity for positive improvement. I love my God, myself, and everything in creation with all my heart, mind and spirit.
Past, present and future:
The ideal me does not live in the past or the future, but instead in the here and now. I forgive myself and others for what happened in the past and I accept that the future is unkown, but that I will have all the tools and energy I need to get through anything and everything that comes my way. The present is just that, a present, or gift, to be opened each morning, and to be in awe and amazement at what enfolds each dawn til dusk.
We are such wild, brave creatures, with amazing and dynamic spiritual histories. We must not stop dreaming, for it is truly within the dreams that our future realities are sculpted. So for a moment, forget what your boss or spouse said or did, forget how your kids are doing in school, forget what you used to look like or how you used to feel, forget what you didn't get right today, or what you are not looking forward to dealing with tomorrow, and dream with me. It can be a HUGE fantastical dream like mine, or maybe something a little more attainable, the point is, it's all yours, unique and authentic just to you. The Ideal You is waiting to be discovered...............so take a little jaunt, and see who you uncover, waiting patiently, under the surface to be remembered and loved.
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