Wednesday, January 25, 2012
On my morning walk, which I didn't really want to do, but did anyway, I came across a simple little epiphany. I realized, as I hit the chilly morning air, taking one step at a time, slowly, reluctantly even, nearly turning back multiple times, something quite true, quite real came to me about the path I'm on. I realized that my weight loss journey is a lot like that walk, and a lot like life. Today's walk really was the first time I just wasn't feeling it, but in return for following through, even though I didn't want to, I saw that this whole journey, in weight loss and in life is taken just one step at a time, just like my walk this morning. If I would have stopped, or turned around, I would not have reached my destination. By not stopping though, and by not turning around, just taking it one step at a time, I did reach my goal, and felt pretty darn good about it. So one little step at a time, in the right direction, without stopping or turning around will indeed, always lead you ultimately in the direction of your goal. I can't fail at weight loss, or at life if I just take one little step at a time, in the right direction. Yeah, simple, I know, but for some reason this morning, it felt quite profound. Wonder as the years go by what other simple jewels of life I will come upon. (Reading this right now makes me see that this really is the mission statement of SP!! Funny that it's taken nearly 5 months to hit me!!!! )
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Reading a blog on here really inspired me to do this for myself. Because I love myself, deeply, truly, fully, and dearly, and I deserve to have dreams, vibrant dreams, dreams that if not dreamt of first, could never manifest in reality. Regardless of what is going on in life, or what stresses spiral up, around and about me, my dreams are still important. So, in the spirit of self admiration and sweet, lofty, lovely dreams, I will dream up my vision of the Ideal Me.
The ideal me loves into every action, word, thought, and feeling each and every moment of everday. Love for myself, my world, my family, my sexy/impossibly complicated/hilarious/unpredictable spouse, my body, my past, present and future, my God and anyone and everything that comes my way, regardless of it's initial impact of pleasure or pain.
Personal health and beauty:
The ideal me has a very balanced, interesting, open-minded, creative, loving relationship to all kinds of unique, invigorating, ethnic, wholesome, vital, healthily produced, dynamic foods, supplements, tonics, cleanses, fibers, emoillents, and body and hair ointments of any and every kind, both for ingestion and topical applications, preferably all homemade, or locally bought, or produced by small, righteous businesses. The ideal me knows, and applies said knowledge in all areas of recipes both traditional and unique, using above mentioned goodies, fresh herbs, oils, flower essences of all nature of pure and wonderful ingredients, all homegrown or locally purchased. In my ideal universe my husband loves every well balanced, nutritious and delicious meal I make, and plays an active role in all of my cooking/gardening/creating processes so that we grow together in health and in love.
The ideal me travels often and freely, being just as comfortable in The Hamptons as I am visiting a tribe in Uganda. I exeperience the world in all it's lustrous vibrance, and create unique and compelling works of photographic and poetic beauty to depict to those around me the granduer of a life unfettered. I have the time, money and energy to research thoroughly the art, history, architecture and geographic nuances of each area before I go there, thus having a broad idea of the must sees/dos. I engage in a variety of outdoor activities from snorkling and scuba diving, to snow skiing, dirt bike riding, ziplining, mountain climbing, kayaking, hangliding, sky diving, river rafting, parasailing and any and every other activity that peaks my interest, and I do them in the best places in the world that they can be done.
The ideal me has enough time and energy to be an active and productive part of the charity of my choice, ideally the local homeless shelter. I have enough money and time to devote myself to the real needs of the community, and I educate myself in all ways that will better my relationship to the people in need.
The ideal me looks at my body and sees a flawless work of art. I am comfortable for any occasion in any attire. I am free to be me. I exercise consistantly, and enjoy the process. I love to be healthy, and I love doing what it takes to mantain health. My outer layers reflect the luminosity of my inner life.
The ideal me has a perfect balance between work, play, volunteering, healthy lifestyle and a happy relationship with my loved ones. I do not neglect my art, and have enough time, space and money to do any project I wish, without holding back due to lack of any of these key elements. I love my work, but also my life and do not let either aspect overtake the other, but instead nurish one another. I can't see exactly what the ideal me is doing for money? Art, healing, teaching, or maybe still barbering?! I have a draw to all of them, but the work isn't really what matters to me, it's what comes from the work, the relationships that are forged and the love that is made.
The ideal me loves myself and God so much that I never have to guess wether I am being punished for being bad, or wether I have earned God's love and mercy or not. The ideal me knows that to be alive is to experience times or pleasure and times of pain, and that in the times of pain I must see that I have not fallen from God's good graces, nor should I feel guilty towards myself for being human. The ideal me follows through on all promptings from God, no matter how big or small, and when I can't or don't, I do not go into a desperate despair, but instead see that as an opportunity for positive improvement. I love my God, myself, and everything in creation with all my heart, mind and spirit.
Past, present and future:
The ideal me does not live in the past or the future, but instead in the here and now. I forgive myself and others for what happened in the past and I accept that the future is unkown, but that I will have all the tools and energy I need to get through anything and everything that comes my way. The present is just that, a present, or gift, to be opened each morning, and to be in awe and amazement at what enfolds each dawn til dusk.
We are such wild, brave creatures, with amazing and dynamic spiritual histories. We must not stop dreaming, for it is truly within the dreams that our future realities are sculpted. So for a moment, forget what your boss or spouse said or did, forget how your kids are doing in school, forget what you used to look like or how you used to feel, forget what you didn't get right today, or what you are not looking forward to dealing with tomorrow, and dream with me. It can be a HUGE fantastical dream like mine, or maybe something a little more attainable, the point is, it's all yours, unique and authentic just to you. The Ideal You is waiting to be discovered...............so take a little jaunt, and see who you uncover, waiting patiently, under the surface to be remembered and loved.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Started a food diary this week and it REALLY helps. I was getting so frustrated with trying to log my food all day, and not having time, and forgetting and getting more frustrated, sooooooooooooo I started a food journal. Now if I happen to miss a day, I can still log it the next day! Pretty cool.
This week flew by, didn't get all my fitness time in, but had a really great walk today. Been SUPER busy at work, makes the time fly by, and puts a good chunk of change in my pocket at the end of the day.
A few weeks ago my husband unexpectedly found out that he has family living in our town. He found out by seeing his great uncles obituary in the paper. The funeral was last weekend. It was small and sweet, some old family pics were shown on a slide show, tears ensued. But the oddest part occured when we went to the reception. After we walked in, and stumbled through the crowd, we spotted, back in the corner, a good friend of ours. In fact one of the ONLY people we have really gotten to know since we've moved to Nor Cal. We went camping with her and her husband this summer, have BBQ's with them, etc., and they are the only couple we have spent any real time with in about 5 years of living here. So, admittedly, we were a bit shocked to see her there, she doesn't live in our town, which makes it even more remarkable. Turns out, she is an old friend of the family, her mother and my husband's great uncle's daughter are best friends. She was actually telling my husband and I who was who and how he was related to them at the reception!!!! (Since my husband was raised in Georgia, and all of them were raised here, and he had only met one of the people there before, when he was a kid, he was a bit confused that day as to who was who.) So, that was quite an event. We were pretty blown away that day, still are in many ways! We are now connected to all the family that lives locally, shared numbers, e-mail, etc. and have an opportunity to build new memories, and share old ones. Pretty cool!!!
Been working 6 days a week, for financial reasons, not so bad, just a little tiring. I LOVE my job, and it is really rewarding, but I also love my home time too. But, alas, I am done making excuses as to why I can't be healthy, working 6 days a week or not. And I finally FULLY realize just how eating better, exercising and drinking lots of fresh water REALLY, REALLY make me feel better. So, that's what I am planning to do, for the rest of my life...............YAY!!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Hugs ( LOVE virtual hugging, I would give real ones if I could ;)!)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Ok, so SP is not a bar like Cheers, and we don't necessarily know eachother's first names, but sometimes it really just feels like the most peaceful place to end the day............kinda like the "Cheers" atmosphere I was always looking for, without the alcohol and salty snacks.
Things are still unstable with my sister, haven't heard anything from her in a few days, and she in not responding to my text messages, so I am assuming she just wants to be left alone. It's hard for me to let go and realize that she is old enough to make her own decisions. I still want to baby her..........she is the baby of the family, I remember changing her diapers. Anyway, that is a sad/scary situation, but I'm sure it will all work out the way it is supposed to. I've been praying every night, and with the support of you beautiful people, I am seeing that it will be OK.
Looks like my adorable/crazy/anxious husband might get back to work next week. That is a BIG MIGHT, not sure. If he does, well, that will be great financially, not sure how good it will be for him. We are just going to take it one day at a time. I am going to miss him being here, but I can't pay all of our bills alone, so it will be good to have some more money coming in.
I've been taking wonderful evening walks, even took one while talking on the cell phone to my cousin and walked 3.5 miles without even realizing it. I've never really considered exercising outside in the evening, until recently, and it seems to be a new discovery that continues to excite me. I mean, it gets dark so early, and most people are still out doing errands/shopping etc., so walking the lighted streets seems pretty safe to me. Does anyone else do this?
Work has been pretty good. My boss was having some stressful problems with the third barber, but as of yesterday, decided to put her into the other room and keep her on women's hair only, which is a HUGE weight off my shoulders. I was having to kind of babysit her in a way and it was really stressful for me. She isn't very good with men's hair, but is amazing with women's, so it's worked out perfectly for us..........way better than having to fire her completely. We went up in our prices for the new year, and I've seen a pretty good increase in my take home pay since then. I work commission, so a raise in ratese quals a direct raise for me!!! Hee, I'm happy about that, especially with my husband being out of work.
Well, I should be laying down now. Sweet dreams dear ones, hope you all have a great weekend.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Well, it's Tuesday and I'm only 10 minutes away from finishing my weeks fitness minutes goal. Hopefully, I'll use that as inspiration to surpass my goal and push on through to the other side!!! I haven't been logging my food as diligently as I need to, and I know that this is the number one key to my success. I love to exercise, that is not hard for me to do, but I also love to eat, and eating in my range is quite hard for me to do. So, this week is about staying in my calorie range and drinking my 8 cups of water everyday without fail.
Things have been hard, possibly harder than I've ever experienced. My husband has been out of work for 3 months, our car got repossesed ( praise God my mom gave us the money to get it out), my sister went manic and verbally attatcked everyone in the family. My mom couldn't take it so she kicked her out and now she is roaming the streets in Humboldt county with no job, no money, and a car that is not registered or insured. It is only a matter of time until her cell phone will get cut off and then we will have no way to contact her. I am so worried about her I can barely stand it. But she doesn't want help. She knows she is manic, but she won't go to a doctor, and she is being violent with everyone she comes into contact with. Her friends even turned her away. I am really scared for her and there is nothing I can do. So I pray, everyday.
And amongst all of this, I have realized that if I don't stay strong and healthy I will be no good for myself or anyone else. So I've been exercising everday, and trying as hard as I can to not overeat or do anything else that will compromise my health. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, but with God's help everyday I find the strength to stay positive and hopeful for a better tomorrow.
I know airing your dirty laundry for the world to see is not always the best way to handle hard times. But one thing I've learned recently is that sometimes talking about the hard times brings unexpected advice or help that I wouldn't be able to get if I stayed quiet and pretended nothing was happening. Thanks to this community I do have some tools in life's basket to help me manuever through these trying times without getting depressed and without masking my emotions with food. Doesn't mean it's easy, doesn't mean I'm doing everything the way I want to, but I'm trying. I'm a willing vessel and I feel that this willingness for positive change is giving me the strength to see that I can survive life's hurdles, and come out on the other side wiser, stronger and more able to handle anything that comes my way.
I hope you all are surviving your own hurdles. Health really is more valuable than any riches this world can offer, and SP offers the clearest, best tools to acheive that healthy balance. Thanks for reading this, your comments and freindship have been priceless to me.
Take care, be strong, love big, no regrets. We have a beautiful future awaiting us, we just have to take the wheel and steer this ship into the peaceful waters of life that we all have available to us when we stay strong, focused and healthy.
Love you guys.
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