Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Has it ever happened to you? Doing cardio and the rage just builds until you feel like you're going to blow?
It's only happened to me twice. Once was this morning.
I am just so frustrated at my foot, my lack of being able to do anything but seated cardio, and blah, blah, blah.
So this AM I'm trying to do my seated cardio. I do it like interval training: 5 min. of seated cardio, 5 minutes of ST, etc, etc. But this AM it just got to be too much. I feel SILLY doing seated cardio, which is not good. First of all, I can get my heart rate up doing it, it's just a lot harder. Second, how dare I complain about doing seated cardio when the only problem is an ortho injury that will one day be better? Talk about lack of gratitude.
But that is where I was this AM and I finally just blew. It wasn't pretty.
The good news is, I have a plan. Plans always help. Now that the diagnosis is definitive (occult ganglion cyst deep within my foot), I think that I can swim.
So I am choosing to forget the needless 10 weeks in the boot. I am choosing to forget the thousands of dollars I am going to have to pay by the end of this whole process (with no insurance). I am forgetting that I just bought an elliptical, I already have a treadmill, and how I'm going to pay $60/month to go to a gym for pool access. I'm forgetting all of that (see how well I'm forgetting it???).
I am going to try to focus on keeping the faith and keep on keeping on. My calories are great today. My mood is pretty good. I'm going to try to swim tomorrow and see if it hurts my foot (before committing to the gym membership). So there you go.
I also ate at at Mexican restaurant last night (don't ask), but managed to not go crazy. Yay for me (said with only the slightest amount of disdain).
Positivity will be back. It is just kind of sucky right now. You know?
Saturday, October 06, 2012
Well, predictably, there was not definitive answer. Why do I keep looking for them!
But here are some of the highlights of the coach's response (they don't tell you which coach is answering. I'm sure someone else could figure it out by writing style, but it's not me!)
--They can't get into my logs (food or exercise) due to privacy issues, so they can't give that kind of personal response
--food should be varied, just like exercise
--at least 9 servings of fruits/veggies daily. I am sure I do not get that much. How to do that when I try to eat seasonally, locally? A new challenge to figure out
--alcohol doesn't help anyone. Put this in the 'tell me something I don't know' category. Alcohol (red wine at night mostly) still stands where all the others have fallen. Even coffee I've been mostly without for a while now. But that red wine... I guess I'm still not desperate enough to give it up in trying to live outside of the deprivation realm
--the most surprising thing for me was that they (he? she?) recommended NOT focusing on weight loss while I am injured. That trying to cut calories to make up for lack of cardio is a bad idea. Medically, my body needs the good calories to fight this injury, and cutting them is no good. Also no good is being so frustrated by lack of progress while I am pretty inactive.
A few people have mentioned cutting carbs. My carbs are pretty stable in terms of what they come from: oatmeal, popcorn (air popped), beans, rice, pretzels, and a few pieces of wheat bread a week. My diet, as you can tell, is not that varied. So I'm curious what people would recommend cutting. I'm open (at least I think I am).
I've decided to put the scale away while I'm injured. It's HARD! But it is getting me down in a big way. I reacted to that decision (predictably) by eating a bit too much yesterday. But today I am feeling back on track. We are going to a micro beer fest, so I already figured out my food around that. This is the area where alcohol gets me into trouble, I plan lighter meals to account for it. But I planned for 24 oz of beer. That's 2 beers. It's not like I'm drinking a 6 pack or anything (do i sound defensive?).
The other piece of news--undecided if it's good or bad really, is that I do NOT have a stress fracture. Am I upset that I've spent 10 FREAKING WEEKS IN A BOOT needlessly? No way. That would not serve me. OK, I did whine and cry a bit about it, but I'm looking forward now. Apparently I have an occult ganglion cyst, a cyst on the tendon deep within my foot that is crowding a bone and causing my pain. The thing that made me cry was reading that occult cysts are more painful that visible, more surface cysts. My negative voice has been having a field day telling me that I was being a baby and making this whole thing up. It did now show up on a plain x-ray, so I was feeling a little crazy. $500 and one MRI later and we have the diagnosis. I won't find out until Monday which tendon, which bone, and what the treatment is. I feel fearful, but I'm trying to hold that at bay until I have more information.
Whew! That's a lot.
I hope everyone has a great, healthy weekend, and is in touch with gratitude and positivity!
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
I just wrote this long possibly convoluted question to the SparkCoaches (as part of being on the SparkCoach team). Thought I would share it here as well. We'll see what they say.
This is a long question, but I’ve never asked one, so maybe I can use up some unused weeks!
I have a question that is probably one of your most frequently asked—why am I not seeing any progress on the scale? I read Coach Nicole’s article about the most frequent reasons people don’t see weight loss. In the past I have not had as much consistency, so I know that was the reason, but that is not as much the case now. I am working SO hard and still not seeing the scale move.
A quick history about me:
• March 2007 to Sep 2010—lose around 85 pounds (went from around 270 to 184)
• Sep 2010 to July 2011 – don’t really change anything, but go into a plateu; maintain in low/mid 180s
• July 2011 to June 2012 – slide due to a variety of stressors, gain back 10 or so pounds
• June 27, 2012 – decide to really do this again, NOT maintain, not slide, but get to my goal weight (157).
I decided to put everything into it and let nothing stop me. And I have been doing exactly that.
Here’s what I’ve been doing since June 27:
• Eating—More consistent than ever; in range most days. Not perfect, but doing great. And keeping a goal of keeping in mid-range more often, not at the top of my range.
• Exercising—Since August 1, I’ve been in a boot for a stress fracture (running.) I have done cardio during this time (biking, mostly) but no running. In the past 2 weeks, however, my stress fracture has not improved so I gave up all cardio except chair exercises. During this whole time I’ve increased my strength training by a LOT and am doing it most days now.
• Attitude—has been great, very positive. If you take my weight out of the equation, I would say I’m doing awesome. My clothes fit very slightly better , my energy is good, I feel like I am making healthy decisions left and right, I am doing spark coach most days, and keeping my daily list of ways I am awesome and challenges I face. If not for the scale…
But here’s the deal. I really wanted to get down to business this time. I really wanted to not only lose the weight I gained back, but really start losing again and move towards my goal weight. Regarding the scale, NOTHING has happened. It’s been a pound down here, 2 pounds up there, etc. since the end of June.
So I write in desperation. Can you look at my food or calorie range or whatever and see if you have any ideas? Or maybe I need to adjust something with exercise? I feel at a loss, and would be really grateful.
A few things I know:
• I am trying to decrease the alcohol. Even though I always track it and am mostly in range, I think cutting down to one glass of red wine a day would be helpful. (but who wants to do that?!)
• I know the lack of cardio in the past 2 weeks doesn’t help (but I’ve been plateaued for a while now).
• My calories are not 100% in range.
Anything else you see, or ideas you have?
Monday, September 24, 2012
This is the assignment for Spark Coach today--to blog about what my best excuses are when I decide not to work out, and how I counter them.
This is a tricky one right now, because I have, as of yesterday, given up biking for 2 weeks.
Biking was my last bastion of hard core cardio left while my foot is fractured (stress fracture). I obviously gave up running, and then tried the elliptical (not pounding at least, right). When my foot was not getting better, my PT friend urged me to get off the elliptical. No problem, at least I still have biking, right? I was finally honest with myself after my long ride on Saturday (in my new, awesome biking shorts!) and realized my foot was hurting after riding too. I had been riding 4x/week. We decided that for the next 2 weeks, I will do NO wt. bearing activities (aside from necessary walking). It panics me. I don't, like a lot of people, do well with no cardio. My negative voice sees all kinds of opportunity. I tell myself, 'you didn't want to work out anyway, who are you fooling?' and, 'well this is perfect b/c you're LAZY anyway', etc, etc, etc.
I feel crazy that there have been MANY days when I was whining b/c I didn't feel like running or kick boxing or whatever. Now here we are. I would do a lot for a good run.
But alas, my true voice tells me that I am being good to myself allowing further healing.
And so I made some decisions to last me the next 2 weeks:
I'm going to give up coffee! This is SOOOOOO hard for me. But I need to decrease calories anyway (I drink mine with cream and sugar) since I won't be doing cardio. And I need something to make me feel really hard core and awesome. Giving up coffee meets both of those goals. I am dragging and feeling out of sorts (day 2 today), but I think it is a good decision. It is a decision I've made before. We'll see. I'm reading all about the benefits of tea, and feeling good about drinking it. Now if I only like it!
I'm going to really try to do some yoga during this 2 weeks. I've wanted to get into yoga or pilates for a long time, but have a hard time fitting it in with ST and cardio. So get excited about that!
I'm going to come up with a ST goal (I've also said this before). I can't come up with a good one yet, but I'll let you know.
I'm going to use this 2 weeks like boot camp for positivity. I want to really work on feeling good about myself and feeling positive despite not being able to 'earn' the feeling by working out. I'm not sure how this looks either, but I'm excited about it.
SO that doesn't really speak to what I was 'supposed' to blog about, but it's what I need to say tonight. My excuse for the next 2 weeks is going to be--it doesn't matter anyway since it's not cardio. I'll counter this with making a plan and sticking to it, to help my positivity.
Have a great week everyone!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Eating most of your calories at one meal--NOT helpful.
I know this, but yesterday it wasn't my fault! Truly! So I probably could have made a few better decisions, but I did pretty well under the circumstances.
All of my mom's sisters are in town, and we had planned for them to come into the city (where I live) around noon, show them my house, the shelter where I work, etc, then go to lunch. I had it all planned. I scouted the possible menus that Mom had mentioned. I planned my meals around it. It was gonna be great! But they didn't show up until 3pm!!! And they weren't answering their phones, so we had no idea if they were almost here, or still an hour away. So I was starving, trying to stave off the hunger but still not eat a meal my snacking on strawberries and pretzels with peanut butter. By the time we got to the restaurant (3:30), I was really hungry, and not at all in the mood for the meager salad I was so inspired about just that morning. And then I thought, well this is gonna be my only meal for the day, so I got a grilled chicken sandwich, hold the cheese (good for me!), do not hold the guac (hmmm...), and season fries. I drank a diet coke (good for me!) instead of the beer I really wanted.
But all in all it was a lunch over 1,000 calories. Plus I was hungry again later that night and feeling miserable about the way I ate. I ate oatmeal with yogurt and some jelly to tide me over for the night.
Looking it over as I write, I really did do pretty well, fries aside. But I still went over my calorie range (I should mention that I don't usually skip my wine at night, including last night). So it is all pretty frustrating and felt beyond my control. But considering I'm having a hard time keeping away from the food and drink these days (but still totally rocking it for the past week), I'd have to count yesterday as a success. But in terms of consistency, not so much. And my little fast break of 'gonna eat in my calorie range every day this week' doesn't really listen to the whole 'it's not my fault' thing.
SO here we are.
Where are we?
I'm gonna ROCK today. I am. I am!
I'm also going to go for a great, long bike ride in my NEW BIKING SHORTS which I'm so excited about, and enjoy the amazing fall weather we are having. I'm going to let some of the stress from the past weeks disintegrate under some sweat and relaxation.
And I'm going to feel tremendously good about my choices!!!
Happy weekend, everyone!
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