Saturday, May 17, 2008
I know that at some point I'll have a crash and burn time, but for now I just feel great! May has been good--I feel like all of my goals lined up well and I've just been living in them for the past 2 1/2 weeks. It feels good. Even though I've only lost a tiny bit of my total weight, I feel like my life is so much more under control than it was just 2 months ago. Knowing what is going in my mouth, and exercising makes me feel strong and healthy, and it's great! I feel like I am walking taller these days, feeling prouder.
It's a good feeling!
I still crave nachos like there's no tomorrow, but I plan for things like baked fries to get that salty need met.
I'm not thinking of the whole BIG picture, just enjoying the feeling of making good choices today. Enough todays will take care of the rest.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
So far, one week in, my goals have all been met and I couldn't be happier.
My knee pain is better, and I'm walking every day, and working hard. It is making me SO good at focusing (just focus on THIS block, not the mile and a half left to go and certainly not tomorrow's walk).
My eating is going well. I had my first very serious cravings (don't' get me wrong, I crave every day, but these cravings were killer) the other day, and resisted because of this site and the awareness. I am so very excited!!
And I was worried about the water, but it's going OK. I never thought it would be so hard, but I have it broken down throughout the day pretty well, so it's going OK.
I wish I could spend more time online. I find it incredibly helpful to write in this blog (and even more helpful to see people read it and have good things to say!). I LOVE browsing the other blogs and peoples pages. I'm considering putting my food and exercise log up for people to see because it's so helpful to read others'.
I also decided with my partner that when I lose 50% of my weight, we get a weekend at the bed and breakfast of my choice. THat's probably still a year away, but it's nice to think about. I still panic a little about thinking I might actually be successful, but what the hell?
Things that are helping this week:
--having tangible goals
--having healthy snacks around like fried apricots and carrots. Sometimes I just need to put something in my mouth and chew, you know?
--getting out the door to exercise every morning sets the day up well.
--putting in my food. It keeps me aware, to be sure.
More soon, but I am feeling incredibly grateful tonight for this! Tomorrow is a weigh in. I'm so scared that there won't be any change after all this hard work, but we'll see.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
1. Enter food every day.
2. Exercise 4 days a week.
3. Core/strength 2x/week.
4. 6 or more glasses of H2O every day
5. Add journal or blog 2x/week.
6. Weigh 245 by June 1st.
And if I do this. I get a prize. But I need to think of what it will be. Something good and NOT related to food!
Tangible goals. I fear them after years of making and breaking them. I'll continue to let you know.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
It's been a little over a month now. I was tempted to not do a month check in because i haven't weighed myself in a few weeks. But it is about so much more! So, successes and changes in the past month on Sparkpeople:
1. I have paid SO much attention to what is going in my mouth. More so than ever before (or at least more intentionally and with more information). This site makes it so easy. It has been a good learning experience, to say the least.
2. Attention. Giving attention to my body, health, and eating is difficult, but nexus. In the past month I have done it most days. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven't tracked or at least paid attention. It makes it a lot more possible to resist temptation when it is already in my head that I want to resist, if that makes sense. Before I ate whatever because it wasn't occurring to me that I could or should say no, just that I WANTED whatever was in front of me. To realize I have a choice is amazing.
Things that have been a little difficult/challenging:
1. For the first weeks I really panicked a lot that my needs were not going to be met. That is lessening (thankfully). It is still hard, though, when I haven' t planned ahead for a meal, and there is nothing healthy and easy. The fear is "I have to eat healthy but there's nothing to eat now!". I'm investigating what healthy snacks work for me.
2. Exercise--because of my knee pain, I haven't been walking. Because of my laziness, I haven't done any of the exercises I really could do (ie-core stuff). Soon, though.
3. I don't have a job or life that lets me be on the computer very much, so it is difficult to join in the groups as much as I would like, and get that extra support.
That's it for now. I am so grateful for sparkpeople. I will weigh in soon. I am feeling good. I can keep this up!
Friday, April 18, 2008
I've been on sparkpeople for about 3 weeks now. So far so good with the food, and at first with the exercise.
After digging for 2 days straight (in the garden) last weekend, though, I have developed bursitis in my knee, which has my knee swollen and painful.
So while my food is good, I am getting down about not exercising as well. It gets into a lot of issues for me, but mostly I just feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. My partner keeps telling me that this is supposed to be a lifetime thing, so that we should take care of my knee this week and not be distressed, but it is distressing.
I am really afraid of the whole program after trying lots of things in my life. It feels strange to publicly proclaim a goal that I have made (and failed at) every year of my life. My goal is 150 pounds by 40, but if it is like every other time, on my 40th birthday (3 years from now), I'll think back in shame of writing on this website.
But....maybe not. So far, as I said, things are going well. I feel really good and energized by the site and the communities. Maybe this time...
having a healthier knee would do wonders!
but for today, I'm resting it on the couch, and trying not to feel too bad about it.
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