Thursday, July 17, 2014
Today I got on the scale for the first time in about 3 weeks and I have gained 8 pounds!!!
I knew vacation I had let things go and since returning home I have found it very difficult to get back on track.
I had assumed maybe I had gained 2 or 3 pounds, but EIGHT!!!
So, all games end today and all the relunctance to cook and eat healthy and make better choices when deciding what to eat.
It all has gotten out of hand and this isnt the first time and this wont be the last time that I find myself here, in this place, of anger and self blame.
It is just time to stop the nonsense, stop the insanity and stop the weight gain.
No, I cannot walk for health right now, that bothers me deeply, but due to the problems, unresolved with my foot, I cant chance making it worse.
But, I can lift weights, I can use the elliptical, I can find other ways to exercise and why am I not????
Well, its time to stop making excuses.
So, today I get back to reality and had to take a good long hard look at myself and say ok enough is enough.
I also said to myself, "start right now, and decide, continue bad behavior, continue gaining, stop even trying or, live and find your way back and be healthy again".
I chose happiness, and believe me, happiness you find in the good taste of a cheeseburger or a brownie isnt the happiness I speak of.
It is the happiness you find, when you can look at yourself in the mirror and not feel disappointed, not feel hatred and heart break for your own failures.
I want that feeling back again.
I have heard it said, nothing tastes as good as weight loss feels.
Well, I will let you know how good weight loss feels when I actually begin to lose this weight once again, but, Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels.
Nothing tastes as good or gives you as much pleasure, as seeing results.
I start today.
It is a long road back.
It always is.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
The last few days have been pretty much playing catch up from vacation.
Cleaning house, laundry, grocery shopping and two doctors appointments.
Here is what is going on with my foot----the numbness set in around June 20th and hasnt let up, even on vacation, which meant for me not alot of sight seeing and walking.
So upon my return home I went to see the orthopaedist who treated my broken foot last year.
According to him and his xray, my broken bone has healed nicely and there are no indications the numbness is related.
Of course I am keeping my options open to get a second opinion and a copy of my xrays/
He thinks the numbness is most likely caused by my flat feet and the fact I have been going barefoot more and not wearing my orthotic inserts.
So, yesterday I got fitted for a new pair and was told to look for a good pair of supportive shoes, such as Brooks, for flat feet.
I have been online browsing for a pair and have found some I like.
I just hate to order shoes online because one pair is never the same as another and what fits in one size might not fit in another shoe.
But since Zappos has free shipping and returns, I am going to take my chances.
So, Honey is back to work tonight since vacation and things are getting back to routine.
I am planning healthier meals and while I dont even know if walking is a good idea right now, I am going to be using the elliptical and doing upper body workouts.
I am wearing my shoes with orthotic inserts all the time now, even though, when I wear shoes my foot seems to become number.
At this point, I really dont know what to do.
He told me to wait 2 months and come see him again, if the problem persists, he will order nerve conductive tests to indicate where the problem is coming from.
He told me it can take as long as 3 months from the onset of the numbness to pinpoint the problem.
So, in the meantime, I wear the inserts, dont overdo it on this foot. I will try to walk at the track a little to feel it out and see how it goes, but not too much til I know something for sure.
And try to get back to losing some weight, that might help take some of the burden off my overtaxed feet.
I hate waiting, not knowing and maybe find out it was a problem that could have been treated sooner!!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
The story of the dog---my son took his dog with him camping a few weeks ago, and let him off his leash because they all went into the lake and the dog loves to swim.
So, instead of putting the wet dog back into his car to drive back to the campsite, he allowed the dog to walk back with a group of friends he trusted.
But they didnt put the dog back on the leash and the dog chased after my sons car and got out in the road.
My son looked for the dog all that night and the next day until he could no longer he had to leave to return home and back to work, this was in another county, about an hour from home.
Apparently, according to the vet and the animal shelter, the dog was hit by a car, injured and brought there by a good samaritan, no one knows this to be for sure because we only had their word for it.
About a week later, someone seen the dogs pic on the animal shelter website and contacted my son and he called to claim the dog, but he got a mouth ful of flack about proving the dog was his.
They were trying to threaten him with enforcing the leash law, which no law enforcement agency around here enforces.
They told my son the dogs leg needed amputating and it would cost 500 dollars.
But instead of wanting to give the dog back to my son, they wanted him to sign the dog over to them so they could pay for the surgery and then put the dog up for adoption.
This made no sense to me, sign the dog over??? they would pay??? I told him this didnt sound right, so I contacted some local law enforcement, not to mention the ASPCA and the humane society.
I asked this question, if my son cant have the dog back because he cant prove its his, then why do they want him to sign the dog over?
If my son had no proof the dog was his, then what good was his signature, I was told they wanted him to sign so they would have someone to go after for the money.
We were not going to settle for this.
So, my son contacted them and told them someone from the local spca wanted to come see this very injured, badly in need of surgery dog.
Who by the way, had supposedly been laying injured in the vet office for nearly 3 weeks without receiving surgery.
Suddenly, miraclously, the dog is all better, can come home to my son, who had no proof he owned the dog.
Wonder what happened?
A medical miracle?
hmmm, probably more like fear that they were going to be found out that they were trying to cheat my son out of money for an unnecessary operation.
Anyway, the dog is home now, thankfully, and I advised my son not to take him anywhere again for a good long time and not without at least a leash and a new waterproof tag!!!
So, that is the positive outcome of a negative situation.
Tomorrow I will blog about how I spent my day.
Monday, July 14, 2014
I overslept, I got there on time, but one thing I hate is getting up late and not having time to sit around awhile first.
Anyway, good news and not good but maybe not bad news too.
First, the broken bone in my foot has healed. The doc said since he seen me a year ago, it is fully healed, and while there is some arthritis and bone spurs in my foot, he didnt see anything around the break that might be causing my numb foot.
More than likely, it is tarsal tunnel syndrome, or a pinched nerve somewhere in my leg, hip or back causing it.
But he is leaning more toward my flat feet and the lack of proper support.
And he said being summer, he is sure I am wearing flipflops and going barefoot more and he is right.
So, since its been nearly 2 years since I had shoe inserts made to fit my feet, orthonics , he is sending me to have those made and wants me to buy a good pair of supportive shoes for mobility.
And come see him again in 2 months and if this doesnt make an improvement, he will order an MRI and follow that with some nerve conductive testing.
He wants me to have my thyroid checked and my vitamin b12 levels.
As for my thumb, he didnt check it, he said since the ER had referred me to the hand doctor, that is who I need to see.
So, I will have to wait on that, keep wearing the thumb stabilizer and hope it heals soon.
That was my day.
Came home to clean for an inspection tomorrow by the Dept of Engineering,
Since we live near a blasting zone, we have them come check the property in case of future damage, they can prove, or we can prove rather that it was or wasnt there before.
Then off to see the guy to have my shoe inserts made and get groceries.
Remind me tomorrow to blog, good or bad about the outcome of my son and the saga to get his dog returned home.
And please animal lovers and friends, pray that he gets to come home, his little friend Pepper misses him so much.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Beach pics---only a few, as I am short on time tonight.
I will try to add some more another blog.
Tonight I am anticipating this long put off and long awaited for doctors appointment tomorrow to get some answers, or at least begin the process of getting some answers, over my numb foot.
It has been this way since June 21st and I should have gone to see what was wrong before now.
But when I called to make the appointment they wanted to see me July 7th and of course, I was on vacation then.
So, enough procrastinating.
I dont know if the ortho can do anything other than xray and follow up with information about the broken bone and how, or if, it healed.
and if there is some relation to the numbness.
The whole bottom and the two big toes are almost totally numb.
I am hoping they will order some nerve studies and maybe a ct or mri.
I honestly dont know if there is anything that they can do, surgery?
I am more than willing if they can bring the feeling back.
So, this is whats on my mind and then theres my thumb.
It would be somewhat comical if it wasnt so sad and disturbing.
Going to see the doctor over my foot and oh, by the way, while I am here, can someone take a look at my thumb???
I am sure there is some ligament or tendon damage, but it is actually beginning to feel better.
As long as I dont have to put pressure on it, or try to bend it.
I just really want to find out something about my foot and go from there.
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