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vacation is over!!! really really over!!!

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Home from vacation. Had a good time, but not as good as it could have been.
First, injuries and pains and aches plagued me the whole time.
On July 3rd, I injured my thumb. I hyperextended it and had to go to the ER.
Xrays showed no break or dislocation, but they wrapped it up to my elbow, and that lasted all of about an hour.
I went to Walmart and bought a thumb stabilizer, which I had to wear the whole time.
I am just now beginning, a week later, to get some of the use back. I can now hold a pen, or a utensil without extreme pain. But it is still very sore and the slightest wrong move and pain shoots thru my hand.
The ER doc thinks it might be possible tendon damage.
I am hoping its just bruised. I will see the doctor for it on Monday, when I go for my foot.
Speaking of the foot----Yes, it is still numb and needless to say, walking around on vacation was not alot of fun.

If I got my walking in early in the day, such as walking down the street from the hotel to the Dunkin Donuts for coffee. We did do one day of sight seeing and walked around some.
But I ended up sending the others on without me, which was ok, I enjoyed my nap.
For the most part I laid on the beach, soaking up the sun and soaking in the sights of all the people enjoying the beautiful weather.
We had fireworks the last night there and rain early the next morning, which had moved out by the time we started home.
The long drive took alot out of me.
Then to come home to dealing with trying to help my son get his dog back from an animal shelter/vet, who was essentially holding him hostage for emotional blackmail for money!!!
I spent the better part of the day talking with folks from the local spca, and they must have contacted these people, because they told us we can come and get the dog.
All of a sudden, this dog went from needing major and very costly surgery, to hes fine you can come get him!!!
This was a long story and sometime I will share. Right now, I am just hoping they keep their word and let us come get the dog.

So all day yesterday, aside from a quick grocery store run, I spent doing laundry and catching up on housework.
Today I am playing catch up on social media, and getting all my unpaid bills ready to be paid and getting ready for this doctors appointment on Monday.
I am not sure if the doctor I am going to can really help me, he is an orthopedic sports injury doctor and the problem I am having, I am almost sure, is nerve related.
There are ZERO neurologists in my town who I would go to.
So, if that is the case, the next course of treatment, I guess I will have to hope I can find one who isnt too far away.
I will add some pics of vacation later on, too tired to focus on much this morning.
I will say----yes, I had a donut with my coffee.
Yes, I had a buffet, prime rib and scalloped potatoes, and green beans and black forest cake!!!
and yes, I enjoyed a pina colada, or two.
and believe me, I am not in need of any "told ya so" I am well aware of the damage I have done to my diet.
I havent been on the scale yet.
But I am aware, as I am so so tired, drained of energy and feeling bloated.
Just cant wait to find out what is going on with my foot and to begin treating it or find out what can be done to change it.
The thumb, I am sure is healing, I am wearing the stabilizer most of the day and hopefully it will heal soon.
I hope nothing else gets broken or torn or smashed or cut!!!
I am really ready to heal.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORDON66 7/12/2014 11:09PM

  Lounging on the beach must have been lovely! You've got a lot on your plate, and it must be stressful. I hope the doctor visit gives you some answers.

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SARAHSTORY23 7/12/2014 8:48PM

    I hear ya on the lack of need for "told ya so's." After my son's recent diagnosis, I've tried to make not-disastrous-but-not-angelic decisions. It's honestly the best I can do right now. I really hope for good, solid answers on your foot! Let us know!

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CAPECODBABE 7/12/2014 12:24PM

    Hope you get your answers and feel better soon

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PATTYKLAVER 7/12/2014 10:36AM

    Oh, my! You sure have had your share of troubles. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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ARNETTELEE 7/12/2014 8:20AM

  Happy sparking!

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the numb foot, got my doo did, second blog of the day

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

As some of you know by now, I have been having an issue with my foot for going on 2 weeks now.
Today, while doing some research I happened across a condition called tarsal tunnel syndrome.
Similar to Carpal tunnel of the hands. but this is in the feet.
After reading, I came to the conclusion, without medical support mind you, that this is what is wrong with my foot and the cause for my numbness.
One of the causes is an injury that doesnt heal right, such as I had with my broken metatarsal bone last year.
And pressure from a pinched nerve, or it could be the build up of the callus where the bone tried to heal itself without surgery.
One of the suggestions of the article is to stay off the foot and use ice and anti-inflammatories.
That is easier said than done.
But it does seem to be worse today. Yesteday it felt like my shoe was on the wrong foot and today it feels like a dead tree trunk in my shoe.
I fear falling more than life itself as I have fallen several times in the past.
Falling is a real fear for me and so I will stay off the foot as much as possible.
Hopefully I can speak with my doctor tomorrow and ask if she can arrange an appointment for some nerve tests soon.

But vacation is still on for this coming week and so that means I will have to limit my sight seeing by foot and hopefully just enjoy the sun from the beach chair.
I broke down and had my unruly frizzy hair cut today and I think it turned out pretty good.

short and sassy and manageable!!!
Here is hoping everyone has an enjoyable and healthy and safe holiday, I probably wont be on here alot the next week as tonight is Honey's last night and tomorrow begins vacation.
Much love to all!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOE4LIFE2 7/5/2014 6:35PM

    You look so happy. Keep it up dear. Oh and BTW, hi.

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JACRBUNCH 7/3/2014 9:54AM

    Have fun on your vacation. Hope you get answers about your foot soon.

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GORDON66 7/2/2014 10:46PM

  What would we do without Dr. Google? Your hair looks beautiful and should be easy to manage while on vacation. Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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bad good bad good

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

I thought I had done poorly yesterday. I was feeling discouraged, but when I sat down and sparked all my food for the day, I found out I had eaten below my calorie level and still could have a snack, so I had a white chocolate strawberry yogurt and a cup of milk.
I think the reason I am feeling so discouraged is because I havent been able to walk. I wake up daily with the best intentions, but the fear of worsening the condition of my foot keeps me home.
Yesterday I walked a little going to and from car into stores. Have you ever accidently put your shoe on the wrong foot??
Well that is the only way I can explain how it feels, it feels off, like something foreign.
I know I should have gone to the doctor over this by now, it has been this way for 10 days now.
Numb in my toes.
Just a constant numbness,
In other news, the tropical storm/possible hurricane moving up the east coast, should be moved out of the Carolinas by Friday night. We arrive Sunday.
Here is hoping it takes its rain with it and we can enjoy this trip.
I should have known!!!

Fourth of July will be spent here at home, hopefully get to have a cookout, probably not with family though, seems my family are content to stay away from each other and stay indoors, cant blame them right now though, it was around 90 in the shade yesterday.
I need a haircut, I missed my chance with my girl, shes busy now and with the holiday approaching, I will probably end up having to go to Cost Cutters, where they dont know my hair and dont take the time to get to know it, they just wack on it and you leave feeling ripped off and ugly!!! lol.
Such is life, going to the beach with bushy bushy hair during a hurricane with a bum foot!!!
I will try to find some positive today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORDON66 7/2/2014 2:45PM

  Look forward to being able to get away!!!!

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its a twisty turny blog

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

By now I had hoped to be celebrating a minor loss and be psyched for vacation.
But I am not.
I am not prepared, I need to start packing and organizing, I am a firm believer in making lists and so far, I havent even done that.
Went shopping yesterday and just wasnt into it, couldnt think of anything I needed.
My mind is in a fog and my body is in a funk!!!
I had thought and hoped that the numbness in my foot was lessening. But I now think I am just getting used to it.
I have an appt with the ortho who treated my broken foot but it isnt until July 14.
So, I have this vacation coming in 5 days and I am torn, looking forward to seeing the ocean and relaxing on the beach.
But really dreading the packing, unpacking, repacking, unpacking again, the spending too much and eating too much and abbibing too much.
And then knowing that all that walking might lead to more problems.
Hopefully not, I havent walked in a week and it is bothering me both physically and emotionally.
When I dont walk and someone asks if I am walking, I feel like I am failing, them and myself.
But it isnt all dire.
I havent gained.
So that is something, right?!
Had such weird dreams last night, woke up to my phone going off at 630am, and got up, went to the bathroom and had all my walking gear laid out, then I heard that old famailiar sound, of rain hitting outside.
Where has all this rain come from???
Last year on our very first day at the beach, it began downpouring, rained all night and the next morning.
I got so down, here we had drove 8 hours, spent out the ying yang for our room, and were sitting inside watching rain.
But by the middle of the second day it stopped and we did enjoy ourselves.
I want to enjoy this trip, I hope the rain stays away while we are there.
I know this might be the last time we get to make this trip for a few years.
We have agreed, if Honey's job is still here, so many men around here being laid off, jobs being ripped away from men.
Well we agreed we will put as much into savings as we can and use what we have surplus to have our road paved.
Pay off as many bills as we can and get our debt down in order to have the road paved and that is very important for winter driving.
So, I want to enjoy this trip.
But I am so discouraged over my foot and worry.
Maybe by Sunday I will be in better spirits.
I just wish I could regain my focus.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORDON66 7/1/2014 8:33AM

  Wow. You've got a lot going on girl. It sounds like you crave order so make your list right now. Once you start ticking stuff off your list(s), you'll have a feeling of accomplishment. Just build on that, and you'll start to feel better. Good luck!!!
emoticon emoticon

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i would dig my heel in, if i could feel it!!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

No matter what I do, I never feel like I am doing enough.
Or, I never feel like I am doing the right thing.
I have two good days then a bad day. the day after a bad day, I say ok, today is a new day, but is it really???
Can you really undo the damage of two bad days in four good days??
Other than making you feel better physically, but the emotional damage is still there.
I had a conversation today with a young man, my sons age, who is a nurse, and a fine young man, rides motorcycles and walks and enjoys life.
Yet he is so unhappy with his physical appearance, that he is comtemplating wls and I dont think he needs it.
Of course, I would not discourage him, I merely just told him of my own struggle with weight loss and how wls isnt an end to a problem.
it is just a beginning.
i just advised him to really work hard leading up to his surgery and make sure he works on the mental first.
now if only i could take my own advice.
i dont know how to do the physical most of the time.
i havent walked all week due to my foot, its still numb.
i am still wearing the bone growth stimulator at night, hoping to make it thru vacation with no worse problems.
not really knowing what caused it, pinched nerve???
but where?
no pain elsewhere.
my life is a daily uphill climb, always digging in and clawing to hang on.
lately i find every meal, every snack an emotional uphill climb.
as the days got close toward vacation and i realized i had slacked, and wasnt really going to catch up or lose any significant amount of weight, i guess i just decided not to stress over it.
but rather, to just put it on the back burner, but i never really do.
its always right there.
right in my face, in the mirror, in the refridge, in my numb foot, and in my clothes, in here, on sp, everywhere.
sometimes i wonder if i made the right decision or if my young friend knows more than i ???

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOFT_VAL67 6/29/2014 10:05AM

    thank everyone for the comments. and i agree, WLS isnt a solution. but going thru the process of preperation 3 years ago is what lead me to finally see the light and start learning how to eat and how to exercise.
for the first time in years i seen what could be done if one had the willingness to put in the effort.
i did not go thru with the surgery and i am glad of that decision.
i have so many friends who did and later regretted it, and a few who did and have gone on to great health.
it isnt for me, sometimes i get discouraged with my struggle and think about it, but i know that is just my fear and desperation.
i am not ever never ever giving up on my quest to lose weight and get healthier.
thanks again everyone.

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CAPECODBABE 6/29/2014 7:23AM

    Hope your foot feels better. Sorry you haven't been able to walk much. Baby steps.
I haven't made progress in the weight loss either emoticon

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A_RARE_BEAN 6/29/2014 5:20AM

    if the good days outnumber the bad then you are doing ok. This journey is always going to be about balance, perfection is a goal that's main outcome is to leave us all feeling like we come up short and are inadequate. I mean never having a bad day again, impossible! So with that in mind don't think down on yourself for being...pretty much like everyone else. keep on keepin on, it does make a difference as that's four days of healthy which is always better than 7 days of unhealthy!

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ALIHIKES 6/29/2014 2:49AM

    SP had a quote that really hit home for me today: "Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight loss is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard!"

We all struggle at times, and lapse at times. Forgive yourself and move on. If you had 4 good days and 2 bad days -- well that's better than 7 bad days or just giving up!

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GORDON66 6/28/2014 11:55PM

  I have two friends who've had weight loss surgery, and neither one of them kept the weight off. It's not a quick fix, and it's dangerous. If the relationship with food doesn't change, no amount a surgery is going to make anyone thin.

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