SOFT_VAL67   84,763
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the long im hungry its supper time blog

Monday, May 05, 2014

I spent the day in the doctors office. The gyno!!
I had put the visit off for far too long and I knew I needed to get some answers about pcos and if my meds need to be changed.
So, it was a 3 hour visit, an hour of that just being waiting, then the exam, the discussion, the lab work, the ultrasound, and finally I was out of there. None to happy with the number on the scale, but, I guess it could have been alot worse.

So, I came home to bath the puppy and she tried to bite me as she always does when I bath her, only today she really bite at me like she was trying to bite me.
I bought her a muzzle for when she has her surgery which is coming up at the end of this week.
When I tried it on her, it seemed to fit and now today I put it on her and it was so lose it was coming off of her.
I am trying so hard to tough it out with her, but after nearly 5 months, the potty training is still an on-going battle, she will pee everywhere BUT her pee pad.
I really want to keep her, but its getting tougher.
I am at my wits end.
I just hope to get some things done here around the house that are well past due, like my dishwasher is leaking in the bottom, it doesnt drain properly and the standing water stinks and is making me fear rotting and insects.
So that is the job 1 here.
Then I need the outside air unit serviced, yes, I know that should be job 1, but its not, its job 2 and then is having the hot water heater checked, and the water pressure here is terrible.
This place was supposed to be move in ready and its been one issue right after the other.
Well, its getting on toward dinner time and I havent a clue what I am having.
I was so starved out by the time I got out of the docs office today I went straight to mcds for a coffee and mcchicken and that is all I have had today, well, Hope all of you are having a better day than I am.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGMOMMA2THREE 5/9/2014 6:13PM

    How is the puppy? Maybe she isn't the best fit for you if you don't have the time to devote to her. I mean that in the best possible way. When we adopted our last dog I was off work and it took a good few months with me going around with a leash attached to my waist(!) for both of us to learn what was expected of the other.

No pun intended but you have to nip the biting in the bud before it develops into a huge problem.

Sending big emoticon

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GORDON66 5/6/2014 8:36AM

  A visit to the OB/GYN is never fun. I hope today is better! emoticon

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NEWBIRTH2014 5/5/2014 6:49PM

    Monday Blues…on your next doctor visit pack a small healthy lunch and snack to take with you, get a tick and flea collar for your pet maybe some training?Take advantage of my nutrition weekly menu on SparkPeople.

Hang in there, tomorrow WILL be a better day!


Comment edited on: 5/5/2014 6:52:01 PM

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loss and lost but not losing!!!

Thursday, May 01, 2014

For 3 weeks my so called best friend has not spoken to me.
It all began with a "he-said, she-said" situation, and I believe the HE said.
I wont go into detail, but I will just say, two people in my life were discussing me behind my back and deciding what is best for me.
What I should do, where I should live, things I have said.
And one got mad, one denied saying what they said, and both I told to stay out of my personal life and leave me to make the decisions I need to make.
This person was my best friend.
Ladies, you know what I am talking about, the one friend.
The one you tell EVERYTHING to, the one you know will never betray you, the one who puts everything in the vault and throws away the key.
Well, I guess she left the lock unlocked when she got drunk and ran her mouth and denied saying what she said.
The things she said werent even really deeply bad.
They were just things I never thought she would talk about behind my back and the denial was the part that angered me, had she just said, yes, I had too much to drink and messed up, I am sorry.
I would have said ok, talked it over and moved on.
But she lied, she made the other person out to be a monster, a troublemaker and the cause of all the issues.
And that is partly true, but not all because she was there, she was in the conversation and she said things as well.
So, I told her that I need some time to myself and that I think its best for everyone to just leave me to make my own life choices and that I am not a child who needs people making decisions for me.
So, she hasnt spoken to me.
She hasnt liked or commented on anything, she is still there, but not.
And while I am a little bothered by it and wish she had the backbone and the heart to apologize or just say hello.
But I guess she and I are both being stubborn.
But I am not in the wrong here, am I????
I am not 100 percent bothered by her not being in my life.
She wasnt there for me the last few months anyway. Since she got back with her boyfriend, the cad.
She let alcohol run her life and play a big role in ruining a friendship.
I really feel betrayed and what other things might she have discussed about me, private things I have told her???
and all because she likes to get drunk and run her mouth.
So, not only because of this, but maybe partly, I have had a few bad weeks.
I have really fallen off the wagon.
NOT alcohol, I havent had a drink and dont feel the need to have one.
But I am not exercising much at all, my feet are bothering me so much, and my ear is full of fluid and wont drain and I cant sleep at night because of it.
I am eating junk I shouldnt be eating and I am just really sliding deep down.
I am hanging on and not giving up.
But today I sat in my car, not wanting to go home, not knowing where I wanted to go at all, but remembering the betrayal of yet another friend at the beginning of last year and how deeply that affected me.
Because yesterday I had to take a road I dont normally travel and was tired and it was beginning to rain and I had to give someone a ride and was wanting to hurry home and I came upon that person, met them on a narrow one lane part of the road where we both had to slow to pass and knowing this person wouldnt even look my way as if I didnt exist and my car wasnt right there and feet from them and all that pain and anger came back again.

And now here I am again.
Feeling friendless and betrayed and lost and angry and wondering why my feet have started bothering me so much and why I cant get my ear healed and dreading going to the doctor next week for lab testing and weight check.
And I sat there in my car, just sitting there until my car began to idle and jerked me out of my deep thought.
And I found myself wondering what is wrong with me that attracts me to these no good friends, people who dont honor their word, and people who can drop you as a friend as fast as you drop a bar of soap in the shower!!!!
I sat there.
With no answers.
And I am a little bit happy that she isnt in my life with her alcohol and her creep troubled boyfriend.
and I am a lot hurt that she betrayed my trust and lied to me about it.
And I am proud of myself for standing up to her, but also wondering if it plays a role in my slip up?
and how to get back from it.
I havent been depressed, I am not so much stress eating as I have just allowed myself a break that I cant find my way back from.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGMOMMA2THREE 5/9/2014 6:09PM

    Sorry hat I'm just reading this now. Apologize if you feel you want to but don't beg. You are worth so much more! emoticon

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CAPECODBABE 5/2/2014 6:42AM

    So sorry you feel this way!
If she is truly a friend, you will find your way back to each other. emoticon

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GORDON66 5/1/2014 10:30PM

  It may sound trite but things do happen for a reason. Take care of yourself. emoticon

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GOGETUMX2 5/1/2014 9:52PM

    HOpe you're feeling better today. (((hugs)))

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my achy breaky, everything!!!

Monday, April 28, 2014

Feet and legs are still aching.
Why is this I wonder?
I didnt walk anymore in the 3 days I went to the festival than I probably do in a week.
Maybe its due to walking so much at once, and so many people that you are walking in such slow steps you are standing more than walking.
Seems like I can predict it will take 4 or 5 days after the festival every year for my body to fully recover.
Someone suggested this could be a part of my vitamin deficiency.
I am taking vitamins daily, and now that the weather is getting warmer, I am trying to get my vitamin d thru the sun as much as I can.
Instead of taking it or eating it because apparently its in my intestine where the issue resides.
Guess I will find out if its working in 13 more days when I go back to the doctor.
But not today, the sun is no where to be seen, its getting ready to start down pouring rain.
And as tired as I am, I have laundry to do and rooms to clean and alot of trash to take out.
I am also feeling down due to having made the mistake of getting on the scale, going against my little voice telling me not to and against my own judgement.
So, I have gained a few pounds and I shouldnt be surprised.
Stress eating and not exercising as much and the festival junk.
So, this is all just coming to a head and its time to stop this before it gets any farther out of control.
Yesterday was a fair day for me, while I was too sore and achy to exercise, I did make much better food choices.
And stayed within calorie range.
I am actually looking forward to these next two doctor appointments because I plan to have them test my thyroid, a1c and other hormones and such.
I have to find out what is causing this weight gain and lack of losing, and yes I know I can be working harder, but I am NOT eating to the point of gaining this way.
There has to be something I can do now to nip it.
So today I am going to lift weights and use the stretch bands, focus on the upper body until my foot begins to feel better.
It was swollen so big yesterday and the pain was bad, last night in my sleep I must have flexed it and made it hurt worse.
I am positive that the bone isnt healed at all and this is just something I have to live with.
I am tired just posting this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANN5198 4/28/2014 8:15PM

    Aww, I'm so sorry you hurt. But I admire you for finding a way to exercise even though your foot is hurting so much. Atta girl! Let us know how your hormone testing turns out. My thyroid stopped working when I turned 50 and I'd never had a weight problem but I did then! And it's not so bad; you just get on thyroid hormones and you feel so much better and then you can lose the weight.
Let us know how things go.

Comment edited on: 4/28/2014 8:17:00 PM

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SEAFLOAT 4/28/2014 7:55PM

    Sorry to hear about your foot. I hope it heals quickly. Way to go for finding other ways to keep getting healthy! Hang in there!!

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MAINEALI 4/28/2014 12:58PM

    I hope you do get some rest and good answers from the doc. I would definitely take it easy if your foot hurts that much. I wish you well. Feel better soon!


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FANNYMANSON 4/28/2014 10:50AM

    Poor thing! I have been in that same position of foot pain getting in the way of my ability to exercise or do much of anything else. Best wishes for your foot and your doctor visit as well!
emoticon emoticon

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payback is a what what

Sunday, April 27, 2014

I cleaned house for about 10 minutes and had to sit down to rest.
My body is so tired.
This past weekend was our towns annual Hillbilly Days celebration.
It is 3 days of food, music, arts and crafts, carnival, walking, shuffling thru thousands of people, food, walking, hot sun, rain, more hot sun, more walking and did I mention food???
The event is to raise money for the Shriners Childrens Hospitals and it has been going on for around 38 years or so.
I went all 3 days and my feet are worn out, aching, my whole body is aching from all the walking and sitting and standing and walking some more.
Of course, the walking would have been ok, had I not eaten like a crazy person.
Pulled pork sandwich, chicken on a stick, a third of a funnel cake, red velvet cookies, lemonade, and the finale, deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
And my new background pic on my page is my sons girlfriends little girl, at the carnival, this was her first time coming to the event and she loved it, she is a real daredevil and wanted to ride the big people rides and she rode everything that she was allowed to.
We had a blast with her!!!

So, now comes the payback.
All those needless calories. Time to pay the piper.
So, as I spend the next few days recovering physically, I also have to deal with the guilt of all those calories and the knowledge that I have to face the scale in a few days.
I kept telling myself, HBD is like Christmas, its one time a year and you are almost obligated to participate, Shriners has helped several members of my family, neighbors, etc.
Of course I know I could just make a donation without partaking in the food, but what? What I didnt hear that, lol.
Back to reality.
I probably wont walk for a few days, my foot is really mad at me for over use and I am aching from shoulders and neck to feet.
So, I am drinking gatorade, water and taking my vitamins, eating my fill of protein to try to rid myself of this feeling of being hungover, without having had the fun of partaking in any spirits!!!
It is a beautiful day here and I might sit outside on the porch later and soak up some vitamin d and relax.
then its back to the old drawing board of how to get back on track and forgive myself for putting extra calories, sugar, carbs into my body.
In my last ditch effort to defend my actions, I will say, I didnt eat as much as much as I could have and I did walk alot. ALOT.
Hope everyone is having a nice relaxing guilt free Sunday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELSCO55 4/27/2014 10:55PM

    tomorrow begins a new week. Hope your foot is better soon.

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PIRATE_BEAR 4/27/2014 10:28AM

    have a week like that coming up

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wondering if i will ever get over the peak

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

When does a plateau stop being a plateau?????
I have not lost a single pound in over a year.
While I have gained, and lost and gained and lost the same several pounds many times over.
I have NOT lost beyond the number I was at in January 2013.
It is very disturbing and puzzling.
Most weeks, I work hard, not as hard as I could or should.
But yes, most of the time I am still in this mind frame.
Yet I never do.
I have decided to do the whole blood work up, vitamin levels, hormone and thyroid levels, A1C.
And yes, as much as I dread it and have postponed it, I have an appointment with the gynecologist next week.
Time to get all these hormones checked and see if that might play a role in this nonsense.
My friend went to a place where they do bio-identical hormone testing and put her on the hormones she was lacking in, and vitamin b12 shots and shes lost about 15 pounds.
I doubt that I will go there, as it isnt covered by my insurance and I do not need the added expense, but if my doctor can help me identify issues, hormonal or whatever that might be causing this lack of weight loss, then I am willing to give it a shot.
For my own contribution, I am going to the walking track.
Sun is coming over the mountain and hopefully it is bringing a little warmth.
Gonna get my walk on and soak up some vitamin D.
Have a nice day to all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 4/23/2014 7:04PM

    I haven't lost either, but I know why.

My advice, keep trying.

With the weather getting better, maybe we can do it. emoticon

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SUE5007 4/23/2014 5:39PM

    Good idea. You should print out a the last 30 days of your nutrition tracker and take it with you. Perhaps she can offer advice there as well? My loss has been very slow all year so I started a new workout this month which burns 300-400 more calories each week. Which made me extra hungry, so I ate more. Not a lot more...but it has been enough to plateau me for the last 3 weeks! So I'm back to tracking everything and measuring more carefully. All of last week I was feeling hungry but this week is going much better. Hoping to break this plateau this week or next.
Good luck to you! emoticon

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MELISSIMAUS 4/23/2014 12:45PM

    One of my good friends recently has had fantastic luck with hormone adjustment. She's lost weight for the first time in years, after lots of trying. I hope you find a similar answer!

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DOGMOMMA2THREE 4/23/2014 10:30AM

    Yes, get it checked out for sure. Are you still tracking your food? Maybe some little tweak here or there might be just the thing to knock you off that blessed plateau. It must be so discouraging.

I love the sunshine - but we haven't had too much lately so I use my special light therapy box. I'm still walking all the same because the dogs really need to get out and therefore I get dragged along emoticon

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BRAINBENTT 4/23/2014 10:29AM


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