SOFT_VAL67   82,109
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no open toe shoes, just yet!!

Friday, April 11, 2014

I wasnt sure I should share, for fear of "THE BIG JINX", but today, I got on the scale, to find a whopping 4 lb loss.
I am not sure which one of you snuck into my bathroom and changed my scale, but thanks.
I have been wondering for some time, why oh why my scale wasnt moving downward. Broken maybe?
Because my body is saying, "Hey, look here, your skin is looser here, your skin is looser here, your pants fit better here".
So the numbers werent reflecting that.
So according to my plan to get a pedicure as a reward for a 10 pound weight loss, I am down to just 6 toes left to go.
I wonder how much toes weigh anyway???
Rain on the way here today, I have to give my son a ride to his meeting tonight since his girlfriend has their car, maybe if it isnt pouring rain and not too dark, I might be able to squeeze in a quick walk. I was thinking of doing a power walk inside, we have no mall here so mall walking is out.
I wonder if people would find it funny to see a woman power walking around the grocery store on a Friday evening?
Naw, they would probably just think its a mom on her way home from work running late, grabbing up dinner items.
Speaking of work--I need a job!!!!
Happy Weekend sparkers.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCOTMAMA 4/12/2014 11:21AM

    Read your last couple of blogs -- the other one was mostly about why you don't seem to be losing weight. Same here. Actually, if you see loose skin, and if you can get into clothing that used to be too tight -- it's as good as seeing a lower number on the scale, maybe even better! They call it a non-scale victory NSV. I'm having to learn a new vocabulary! lol

Sometimes when your scale seems to be stuck and you just know you weigh less, try changing the battery in your scale. Mine started being weird, and after I changed the battery it's doing OK again.

Here in the Phoenix area where I live people use the large stores like Walmart to get exercise all the time because it's too darn hot outside. We are already close to hitting the 100 mark and it's barely spring. Friends are still writing about snow, and I'm complaining of the heat.

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GORDON66 4/11/2014 11:19PM

  I've never had a pedicure. That sounds terrific!

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    ha! Power walking in the grocery store- well my eldest son dances in there!- as he says why do they play music if the don't want people to dance? he does get some looks but most of them are approving. Love that boy.
Pedicure is a great reward.

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going going, gone....on the floor!!!!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Feeling a little better today.
Not stressing over the lack of weight loss. Feeling like I am doing everything I can. Well, to be honest, yes, I could be working out harder and I will.
I have been in the middle of cleaning, is it spring? cleaning? well, maybe, its discarding junk I no longer need.
Have gotten puppy a play yard, in which she spends a lot of time on the front porch, she has lots of room to run and play and is safe there.
However, when I bring her back inside, she must want to mark her places, because the pads are often overlooked, this is becoming a problem.
I just dont know what to do about it anymore.
Today was a decent day overall, I walked, only 35 minutes, I was lucky to do that, the wind was whipping my hair so hard, I couldnt stand it and of course I had taken my hair bands out of my car.
Anyway, I have stayed inside calorie range today, walked, cleaned, sat outside and tried to enjoy the spring day.
If I could just get puppy straightened out with the pad use it would be a much better day.
A little back and neck pain, but I am dealing with it.
Have been getting plenty of sleep this week, going to bed at at least 11 and sleeping, and sleeping, seems my body is on overload for catching up.
Ridding the bedroom of some unneeded junk seems to have helped some.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 4/10/2014 11:59PM

    Good luck with the puppy. It can be a long process but I am sure that he will figure it out. Hang in there with the exercise and I am glad that you are feeling better!

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SWEETNEEY 4/10/2014 11:09PM

    Be patient with the dogs

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GORDON66 4/10/2014 10:33PM

  No dogs. Just cats and they litter box train themselves.

Getting rid of unneeded stuff is so cleansing. emoticon

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CAPECODBABE 4/10/2014 8:50PM

    Glad you are feeling a little better. emoticon
Spring is really here, finally emoticon

I wish I could help with your puppy problem, but I don't know. We got our dog at 7 months and he was trained. Sorry....

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why have you left me here all alone??????

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

I have a friend who posted that she has lost 30 pounds.
I have a friend who has posted that he has lost 13 pounds, in 2 weeks.
All around me, i see people sharing their fortune, and happiness about their weight loss.
and I sit here, asking, why not me?
Why can I NOT lose a single pound?
What am I not doing, what am I doing wrong, what can I do differently?
I am counting calories.
Eating zero junk food.
Eating very little bread.
No soda.
No deep fried foods.
I am getting my protein.
Drinking my water.
What is going on? I wonder if my body has gone into some kind of protective mode and is hanging on to fat.
I just dont understand this.
If it were a month or two I could see it and say I just need to work a little harder and eat a little less.
But I havent lost a single pound in a year.
I gained 16 last year.
After having lost 70 in 2012.
Now, well into 2014 and I am right where I was a year ago.
No harm no foul?????
No, that isnt true, its very harmful to my mind, to my self esteem, to my ability to keep trying.
I sometimes sit here and just feel like getting in my car and going to the nearest fast food place and eating burgers and fries and chocolate cake and shakes and then going to buy a case of beer.
I mean, whats the point in counting calories and watching every morsel and walking and living in this constant state of why why why.
When its getting me no where.
I have only tried prescription diet pills once.
A doctor put me on phentermine and of course I didnt lose a single pound then either.
I dont want to go that route, with supplements and such.
Whey protein is about as close to a supplement as I try.
Vitamins, fish oil, vitamin d and calcium and iron tablets and fiber.
So, what is going on, I have to go back to my doctor in May and am going to ask her to please do some advanced testing on me, hormones, and such to see if there is something I am missing.
I honestly just dont know what else to do.
Adding some more weights to see if that might help, trying to get outdoors more and be a little more active.
Cutting back on coffee.
Trying to add more walking, since the weather is improving, I have been walking a little more.
I am at a loss, but not for pounds!!!!
I dread getting on the scale and so I havent really been tracking my weight on here.
When I do see a pound gone, it is always back before the next weigh in.
I fluctuate 2 to 3 pounds every week or two.
with no real results, the scale just isnt going down.
I am going to cut another 100 calories per day out of my diet and see if that shows any results and add more veggies.
I started this week with a chard, kale, spinahch spring mix and peppers.
So tonight I am going to make myself a healthy spring salad with some tuna.
Yes, I do know HOW to eat healthy, and exercise.
Weight loss is just hiding from me right now for some reason, I have got to get it back!!
I promised myself a pedicure when I lost 10 pounds, at this rate I will never get it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 4/9/2014 4:45PM

    When I read this blog, I wanted to ask if you were close to goal. That makes a big difference is how fast one loses weight. chris

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CATLADY52 4/9/2014 12:19PM

    Are you eating enough calorie-wise? If you have to low an intake your body goes into 'starvation mode' and hangs onto every ounce possible. I've had some pretty large drops when that happens. Hang in there and talk to your doctor. emoticon emoticon

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GREEN-EYED-LADY 4/9/2014 11:17AM

    Sorry weight loss is such a struggle for you. It does sound like you're doing everything right. Hang in there ! Hopefully the doctor can figure it out and suggest something. For me, it all depends on my alcohol intake. When I'm alcohol-free, i lose weight pretty easily. When I'm in the "drinking mode" I gain it back really fast. I KNOW what "I" need to do: stay AF. I'm not sure what will work for you. God Bless ! and Good LUCK !
p.s. losing 70 pounds in 2012 proves emoticon

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PROPMAN1 4/9/2014 11:16AM

  I Hear you and share your turmoil! Believe all you've expressed here i too have said either out loud or to myself.Only thing i know for sure is that my sugar intake is too high. Nots ure if it has any part to play in my not losing...been in/on a plateau for a l-o-n-g time. If you find the answer - please share.

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what is love

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Does anyone remember that sketch from SNL, with Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell, where they are in a bar dancing, trying to pick up women???

And that song, "what is love, dont hurt me dont hurt me, no more"
When someone judges every word you say, when someone puts you down and says you are stupid and cant even figure out how to use a remote control. When someone tells you you should be happy you dont have any grandchildren, because you are so crazy, you would probably stab them with a knife. When they count every penny you spend and tell you that they dont trust you, that is NOT love.
When you are at your lowest and weakest and hurting and feel like your very heart is going to pound out of your body, and they tell you they love you, that IS NOT love.
No one will hurt you, or abuse you emotionally or psychologically, if they love you.
They will not scream at you, cuss you, and throw reminders of past wrongs in your face if they love you.
And if you do this to yourself, then you are also only hurting yourself.
Forgiveness has to be first and foremost before moving on.
But when someone says, I am sorry, it wont happen again and lets work it out and move on FROM HERE.
And a month or a year later, they start saying the same things, hurtful, mean, cruel words to wound your heart, and to belittle you, and to take away from your spirit as a human being, and to make you feel less than human, less than zero.
That is not love.
Love yourself above anyone, even your own parents, even your own children.
Put yourself first, it isnt SELF ISH, its SELF PRESERVATION.
When someone bitches you out and screams at you and calls you a liar, and a thief and says you are taking away from them, they do not love you.
When they go and spent 1200 dollars on an item, and say they did it for you, even when you tell them not to and say you dont want it or need it, and then they throw it in your face every day, that is not love.
They did not buy you that item to see happiness in your eyes, or a smile on your face, or love in your heart, to make you feel good about yourself, they did it, in order to have more fodder to add to their fire.
Take nothing from no one.
Do not ask for anything, do not expect anything, do not wish for anything.
Just do for yourself.
Just preserve your own emotions, and heart and mind and psyche.
Do not allow yourself to be put thru hell here on this earth by someone who proclaims to love you and then treats you as if you were a dog they could tie to a tree and feed when they wish to.
Kick you when you are down and already hurting and already wishing you were dead!!!!
One day, you may know love again, but you do not know self love, you have to love yourself before anyone else can or will.
You must find light inside you.
Do not depend on others for love, or for kindness or for friendship or for a roof over your head or food in your belly or anything.
There comes a time when you have to decide if its worth someone wounding you daily with the sharpness of a serpents tounge just to eat.
I think when you get to that point, you really have become a dog tied to a tree.
Begging for a few scraps and a little love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 4/7/2014 9:10PM

    What a heart felt emotional blog.

I agree, they need to get away. Life is too short to be unhappy!
emoticon emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 4/6/2014 3:29PM

    I always loved that passage from Corinthians. It's so appropriate and so true!

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CATLADY52 4/6/2014 2:26PM


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GORDON66 4/6/2014 1:59PM

  Abuse comes in many forms, and all of them are destructive.

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CHUBBY_MOM 4/6/2014 1:39PM

    I agree with HOLLYM48. They need to get out and get out now!

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HOLLYM48 4/6/2014 11:23AM

    whomever lives like this, I hope they get out and get as far away from the abusive person that is treating them so horribly. There are good people out there and you must love yourself enough to find them.

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dark and light and good and bad and round and round it goes

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Last night I just couldnt sleep. Yesterday started out good then went down hill very fast.
Bad rainy windy weather didnt help to lift my mood very much.
Seems the old saying is true, when it rains it pours, and I aint just talking about the weather.
But, there is nothing one can do.
I used to be a very bad worrier, sit and stress over the situation, or in this case, several bad situations all at once.
And while its only human nature to worry and wonder some, I cant do one damn thing to change it so why worry so much.
It is what it is and it aint what it aint, its life and its love and it aint gonna change!!!
So, last night I was wired up and had so much adrenaline running thru me from all the events of the day that I just couldnt sleep, I had the ceiling fan on, due to it being just a tad warm, woke up to find it damp and chilly.
So, dressed in a hoodie and sweats, I lit the kerosene heater, was hoping that was behind me along with the winter.
But as the day warmed some, I went walking, in my walking capris and tshirt.
I walked for an hour and ran into my best friend, he and his family were at the park, so he walked 2 laps with me.
So, now I am home and took puppy out to play, soon its gonna be bath time, I am gonna try out my great new shampoo and then watch Netflix all night and hopefully sleep will come easier tonight and stress will leave faster.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Always remember that over 92% of the things we worry about and stress over cannot or need not be changed. Take it as it comes and deal with it. One staep at a time.

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LOSE4LIFE47 4/5/2014 5:52PM


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