Saturday, April 05, 2014
Last night I just couldnt sleep. Yesterday started out good then went down hill very fast.
Bad rainy windy weather didnt help to lift my mood very much.
Seems the old saying is true, when it rains it pours, and I aint just talking about the weather.
But, there is nothing one can do.
I used to be a very bad worrier, sit and stress over the situation, or in this case, several bad situations all at once.
And while its only human nature to worry and wonder some, I cant do one damn thing to change it so why worry so much.
It is what it is and it aint what it aint, its life and its love and it aint gonna change!!!
So, last night I was wired up and had so much adrenaline running thru me from all the events of the day that I just couldnt sleep, I had the ceiling fan on, due to it being just a tad warm, woke up to find it damp and chilly.
So, dressed in a hoodie and sweats, I lit the kerosene heater, was hoping that was behind me along with the winter.
But as the day warmed some, I went walking, in my walking capris and tshirt.
I walked for an hour and ran into my best friend, he and his family were at the park, so he walked 2 laps with me.
So, now I am home and took puppy out to play, soon its gonna be bath time, I am gonna try out my great new shampoo and then watch Netflix all night and hopefully sleep will come easier tonight and stress will leave faster.
Friday, April 04, 2014
Yesterday I got my doo done. Why is this a big deal you may ask?
Well.....I had this fantastic stylist/colorist. I had been going to for around 2 years and I loved the work she did.
I never feared how my hair would turn out, I always knew it would be right on.
So she changed shops on me, and I followed her to the new place, and then, she changed on me again.
Only the second time, she went to a big chain salon, that charges 25 more for a color and cut than I was paying her elsewhere.
As much as I loved her, I just could not allow myself to pay that much extra. I just felt that was a rip off to customers.
Afterall, my hair was going to look the same.
So, I had to find someone new, and after 2 colors and cuts, I just wasnt satisfied, the first was too dark and didnt crop my hair in back the way I like it, the second, was too brassy, she didnt use a toner.
So, back to my girl I went yesterday, because she informed me that with my store card, I could get a discount and with her employee discount, I ended up paying exactly the amount I would have paid before, yeahhhhh.
And, on top of that, she had hair products on sale for as little as 10.99, I got this great big bottle of shampoo and a big container of conditioning balm, with a coupon, for like 9 dollars, whooooo.
Almost too much happiness.
Even the hail storm we had here last night and the windy, rainy day we are having today can not bring my mood down.
Dealing with this money situation, student loan people, and the bank, now that is just putting a slight damper on it, but I am 100 percent determined not to let it bring me down.
Sitting here, waiting for a phone call, that I have a feeling isnt coming, and knowing this person knows I need to get some matters resolved, is digging a little deeper.
But I have had a good healthy morning, so far, I have eaten healthy protein and coffee.
And I am going to try to start the weekend off right and hope for nothing but internal sunshine, since I dang sure aint getting it outside.
I am thinking one way to get total bliss, is to bust my bathroom scale upside a tree, or maybe run over it with a tractor.
Thursday, April 03, 2014
When I was first diagnosed with low vitamin d, around this time last year, (((I had broken my foot on Jan 8th and it took just over a month to get an appt with the ortho, so I was wearing the boot all that time)) I was being monitored by telephone by a nurse with my insurance company.
It was really more of a womens health study, and I was one of the guinea pigs I guess.
Anyway, I was discussing with her my low vitamin d and she recommended a supplement called strontium citrate, she told me its more of a bone builder, and works well with calcium. she was telling me how good I was going to feel once my vitamin d increased, she told me how much healthier my hair, skin and nails would be.
Well, I am still waiting. Still waiting, hey, I am still waiting!!
My nails are in the worst shape of my life, I had planned to treat myself to a pedicure and throw in a manicure, when I lose 10 lbs, well, still waiting on that too!!!
People used to ask me, where did I get my nails done, and I always said, no where, they are natural and they are, I have always had very nice, healthy nails.
When I broke my foot, I took a pic of my foot while wearing the bone growth stimulator and posted it on facebook and one of my friends asked where I had gotten my pedicure, lol, well I hadnt had one. My nails were always just white tipped and looked like I had.
But now, they are jagged and torn and one is longer then the other and my skin is dry and ashy, let me take a minute here to recommend a product....Palmers cocoa butter formula with vitamin e/alpha hydroxy and shea butter. for dry and ashy skin.
I happened upon a bottle at WM once and bought it and loved loved loved it and of course, WM never had it again.
Searched all the local drug stores and Kmart, etc and no one had it, well about a month ago I was at a local flea market and this man had lots of drug store products, and lo and behold, there was the lotion, that I had paid 6 dollars for, 15 oz bottles and here he had it for 2 dollars a bottle.
I bought 2, and yet, everyday I kick myself for not buying 4 or 6 or all that he had lol, but I figured they were probably already pushing maxium shelf life and so I stuck with 2, and I love this lotion.
If you have dry, very dry skin, such as I do, you will love it.
You can also find it online at drugstore.com and ebonyline. com, and this is a great lotion.
Anyway, I love it.
I am just tired of this fight I am in.
It is bad enough I cannot for the life of me lose a single pound, but my vitamin d issues and dry skin, nails looking like I have been rock climbing and my hair is in the worst shape of my life.
The cost to get my hair cut and colored has, like everything else, gone up and my cash flow, has gone down.
And this nurse was always calling me to see how I was doing, at least once a month, asking if I had seen the doc, she was very friendly, and always discussed ways to improve my health, but she was adamant that once my vitamin d level increased to a normal range, I would lose weight like mad.
She told me it has so much more effect on our bodies than we realize.
So mine went from 20 to 52, which was still way below the normal range, I needed it to reach the high 70s.
But then it dropped back down to 19, and so I was told that I might need some tests to find out why my body doesnt absorb it in my intestines. And I might need to take shots to get it straight into the blood, I am just really hoping all the supplements, the use of the tanning bed, the milk I drink like crazy and what little bit of sunshine I have been able to get are working.
So far, I dont think its very high, measuring from the lack of weight loss, and the hair/skin issues.
Time will tell, but there will be no sunshine to absorb today.
Rain, overcast and high winds, yet again.
Last night I was viciously attacked and stung by a big red wasp, in my bedroom, I was sitting on my bed, filing my nails in fact and from out of no where this big red wasp, swarps across the room and I didnt see where it went, so I go to stand up and whammmmm, right on my wrist, it was the worst pain I have felt in decades, the damn thing flew up to the ceiling light, so I smacked it with a fly swatter and sent it flying.
Couldnt find it, so I swore I wouldnt be going to bed last night, but later it was bouncing off the ceiling so I hit it again, and missed of course, and made it mad, then I opened the front door and I hope it flew out. Because I never seen it the rest of the night and I checked my bed real well, behind the blinds, and all around the room before laying down.
The bite or sting, was vicious, it was mad at me for some reason, but it swelled up all the way up my arm, and was a red line, like a burn, red and pain all night.
It is some better today, but now I am deathly afraid there is a nest somewhere and plan to search all the windows and eaves of the house and get rid of any and all bees, its bad enough the ladybugs have taken over, I cannot lay in the tanning bed for them, they crawl out and are attracted to the light, someone suggested I buy a black light zapper, it attracts them and apparently theres some kind of lure/attractant you can buy. I know there are people who say they are not harmful, but if you are laying in the tanning bed and they are crawling on you, and yes, they do bite, I have been bitten by them, they are all pains in the butt!!! I hate them now!!!
I am on a mission to get rid of them.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
The day started out good, I went walking around 930 and walked an hour. Really felt it in my lungs today, it was a good walk, real!!
The sun was out, so while waiting on my mom at the doctors office, I walked around outside, they really need more benches in my little town.
But I tried to soak up a little sun, and was feeling pretty good, then I went to the post box and got some unneeded, unhappy news, money matters.
I was really angry but after an hour, I said to myself, whats the point in getting all worked up....there is nothing you can do about it!
And so now, while I am still feeling pretty sore inside, I am not letting it ruin the day, or the week or the rest of my life.
I know things happen to us, unexpected things we have no control over sometimes.
But, this is one more example of dealing with addiction, a drug addict or alcoholic might turn to that to deal with anger, pain, etc.
A food addict, such as myself would maybe turn to candy bars or chips, etc.
But I didnt, I came home and I had some smart ones chicken for lunch and I am going to clean house later and have been listening to some good music, and just letting it go.
I was listening to this song the other day and a line says,
"But this world doesn't owe you a debt,
So don't you expect a hand out or me to show you respect,
I got no regrets, why? Cos really its proof,
That makes a good lie better than the hideous truth,
I don't preach or scream ain't trying to teach the scene,
The only guidelines are those you need to read between,"
I am not really sure what it meant to me at the time, but it stuck in my head, I heard it as, Hey, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop living by your past, stop thinking about, worrying about others thoughts about you and stop expecting someone else to make your life better!! Just stop lying to yourself and face the truth, face the light, face yourself and do what needs to be done.
So, anyway, that song has stuck in my head all week and so after what happened today, I was just like, theres nothing worry is going to do but make me feel even worse.
Just figure out a way to deal with it and make it work.
When one bad thing happens, maybe its a way to show you a new way.
While this one little debt isnt going away and money matters are a big pain in the butt, we did eliminate one debt recently, that freed up close to 250 dollars a month, so, that is one thing, that is a positive and that is on the bright side of things.
And I am sticking to my plan to lose weight and get healthy and stay on track with walking, exercising and living as well and as healthy as I can and I know that worrying and stressing out over a few lost dollars isnt going to change things.
So its all just water under the bridge now.
I just keep walking forward and let whats past stay there.
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
Today, Tuesday, is typically weigh in day for me. But being that it is also April Fools Day, I didnt think I could believe the scale, good or bad.
I figured if I had a loss it would be a big fat joke!!
So, I decided to skip it til next week. I doubt there will be a loss anyway.
I have been doing somewhat better and warmer days have allowed me to walk a little more often.
I have found though that such a long time away from the track and the extra pounds I added on over the winter, has slowed me.
I used to be able to walk an hour and push it on another 15 minutes or so.
But my most recent walks have been pushing it at 45 minutes.
But still, its outside, its sunny and its walking.
Ok, I exaggerated the sunny part. It is getting sunnier, so there.
I have 42 days until my next doctors appointment. While, that allows me 6 weeks to lose weight, I am really more concerned with my vitamin d level and wondering if its increased much.
I am taking 8,000iu of d3 daily, not to mention, 2,000iu more in my calcium and vitamin d supplement and a womans one a day and 50,000iu once a week prescription strength.
And guzzling milk like its going out of style, I do however need to add some fish to my diet.
I went shopping yesterday but totally was so annoyed and bothered with personal issues that I forgot to even go over to the seafood section.
Opting instead for weight watchers 2 point brownies and red velvet cakes of which I have already eaten 4 since last night!!!
This is why I dont often buy these snacks.
When I need a sweet or chocolatey snack, I try to go for weight watchers big fudge bars, they are bigger and more satisfying and take longer to eat so that by the time I am done, i no longer feel the need to snack.
The little points snacks are bite size and so I end up eating more of them.
Today is supposed to be another warm sunny day, So, I am blogging early, have my house so so cleaned up and plan to go to the track around 2, yes, I know its going to be 75 and sunny, but I want to sit on the park bench and soak up what sun I can.
I hope to see a loss on the scale this time next week.
And that is no joke!!!
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