SOFT_VAL67   82,845
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ol mournful me

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Having such a hard time dealing with the loss of my friend.
It isnt immediate family, so, I am not constantly hearing all the details and am just a spectator on the outside.
I have gone to the services both nights, tomorrow he will be laid to rest.
What does that even mean, laid to rest?
I know it means, HE will be laid to rest. He will give up his burdens, he has.
He has left behind his pain, his burdens, his memories.
Now they become ours.
The living, they become our memories, our pain to bear.
I am in pain.
This young man meant alot to me, he was that friend who never ever was too busy to talk.
Never showed his bad mood, always laughed with you and told you to stop crying if you did.
I havent felt so deeply down in the my soul the loss of someone in a very long time, the way I have felt this one.
But, as I said, I am not on the inside, I was just a friend, nothing more, so I have to go on each day with my life, sitting here tonight, wathcing Breaking Bad on Netflix.
Just some mundane act to keep my mind occupied.
Laid in tanning bed, fixed a bite to eat, cleaned house, took a shower.
Not so much.
I keep waking up, wondering if this is real, is he gone for real?
Yes, is always the answer.
I hope to sleep tonight. I hope tomorrow once the funeral is over and I come back home, to stay busy, hopefully to walk.
But the wind is whipping something up outside.
Rain maybe. Snow? I hope not.
It is time for spring, time to clean out the old. and renew.
Time to get on with life.
Time to let go of the dead and be glad to be alive.
I hope I can live those words soon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINY67 3/20/2014 10:39AM

    I lost my best friend (since the 3rd. or 4th. grade) a few years ago so I know how you feel. Remember that he's still there in your heart and head so he's still with you.

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CAPECODBABE 3/19/2014 7:41AM

    So sorry.

Do you write poetry? Your blog almost sounds like a poem. Maybe write a poem about your friend will help you!

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ROSE_626 3/19/2014 5:50AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's going to take time. I am in mourning over my mom who passed away last July, I know how overwhelming sadness can be. emoticon Maybe you can do something special in memory of your friend. It doesn't matter how small. He sounds like he was a special young man. emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 3/18/2014 10:58PM

  I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope that your memories of him may be a blessing.

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rest in peace, the pain is for the living

Monday, March 17, 2014

Saturday night a good friend of mine wrecked on a side by side ATV and was killed.
I was just talking to him a few days before that.
He loved to discuss music and I always shared any new songs I heard with him.
He had a drinking problem and me and him spent many days discussing that issue and how to find ways to stay sober.
He was a calm and gentle person, but he liked to have fun and I suspect wrecking his atv, he was probably whooping it up, going to fast and enjoying his night.
It is sad that it ends that way.
We are definetly not promised another hour or even another minute.
I hate that he is gone. I have felt the loss so deeply. And I havent known what to do with those feelings.
He was only 32 years old. Had two young sons and its just affecting me so much.
Other than that, I have been trying to decide about vacation. Paying down some bills to try to have that extra money.
And I lost 2 pounds since I was last on the scale!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSE_626 3/18/2014 6:02AM

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend. He was so young. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/18/2014 6:02:53 AM

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GREEN-EYED-LADY 3/17/2014 11:23PM

    Very sad. emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/17/2014 3:10PM

    emoticon for the loss of a good friend. emoticon on the loss of poundage. emoticon

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MELISSIMAUS 3/17/2014 12:58PM

    I'm so sorry, Val. And for his family, too. emoticon

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LISASGONNADOIT 3/17/2014 11:30AM

    Awww, I am so sorry for your loss! Big hugs and prayers!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LASARRE 3/17/2014 11:07AM

    So sorry for the loss of your friend. Good job on the weight loss.

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the blog about anything or nothing

Friday, March 14, 2014

Didnt get to walk today, it was a nice warm day, but the wind just was so swift.
Have I ever blogged about how much I hate the wind?
I am sure I have, as I hate the wind so much I often talk about it.
What is it for anyway?
All I know is, if the wind didnt blow so hard, the sun would feel so wonderful, one could enjoy walking, or sitting outside, or working in the yard.
All I can do is look forward to the coming summer days when there will be more sunny days and less cold rainy windy days.
Back is achy today.
Laid in the tanning bed today.
Went to walmart.
Bought some cream for dry itchy skin.
Came home, watched the walking dead, had a salad, did laundry, watched more walking dead.
Now, gotta fold some clothes, then off to bed,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEDDLEMAN823 3/15/2014 1:16AM

    I understand completely about the foot problem. I used an insert from Dr Schols (sp?). it is grey and looks like half of an insert. One thing I learned is if you can get an insert that raises your heel at least 1/2 inch to 1 inch higher than the ball of your foot it will help the pain.

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hello sol, come on in, take off your shoes and stay awhile!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Does anyone ever feel like they are trading a good for a bad, or a bad for a good?
In order to try to up my iron, calcium and vitamin d levels, I have found myself eating a little more, drinking more milk, Today for lunch I had a baked potato with some vitamin d and calcium fortified butter.
Before, I wouldnt have touched a potato with a ten foot pole.
When I refer to before, I mean during my weight loss period.
That time between May 2012 and January 2013, when I lost 70 lbs and was walking daily and eating healthier choices than ever before.
I find myself struggling to get back to those food plans.
But today is such a great and beautiful day that I am not going to worry about calories.
I am eating healthy, making good choices for the vitamins and nutrients my body needs right now.
The sun finally made an appearance today and not just peeking out, but really OUT.
I, in my shorts and tshirt, sat out on the lounger for nearly an hour, soaking it up.
I hope it was enough for my body to jumpstart that vitamin d process.
I dont go back for more lab test until May.
So, every day that the sun comes around, I am going to, hopefully take full advantage of.
The weatherman, who I have decided is my arch enemy and the first one I will take out in a zombie apocalypse, lol, is telling me that once again, the sun will leave and be replaced with cold, damp, wind and rain, and possibly even snow.
NOOOOO, I cannot take much more!!!

I walked yesterday evening and was distressed and dissatisfied with my walk, because my foot began hurting me again and I am not sure what is going on.
But I am scared the break isnt healed at all and since I have gained some of my weight back, I am putting more stress on that foot.
I did some reading recently about flat feet and one article suggested that doctors have it all wrong when it comes to telling their patients to wear shoes with orthorpeadic inserts and lifts and arch supports, etc.
Some naturalist type doctor suggested the best solution is to go bare foot as much as possible.
To train the arches and feet to support themselves.
Wonder if anyone out there has an opinion on that.
Going barefoot has never been a problem for me, I have spent many summers barefoot.
But my feet are more tender now and I guess since I am a little older, its expected of me to wear shoes, lol.
Not so much planning, but dreaming and idealizing summer vacation and have my eye on the beach again.
Hoping the taxes come soon so we can sit down and do some planning, figure out the priority on bills and payments and make sure the car is in tip top shape for that 8 hour drive.
Hope all of you are having a good day and that the sun is shining where you are.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 3/12/2014 4:56AM

    Well, the weatherman zombie apocolypse is too funny! I know I have felt that way, often, this winter! We have finally had a couple of nice days around here so I was giving the weatherman a break but now it is back to cold and rain the next two days...he is back on the list!

Keep making those healthy choices!

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PCOH051610 3/11/2014 4:49PM


I'm not sure where you live but I am laughing about your wish for your weatherman! Ha! It reached a balmy emoticon -6 degrees here today so I, too, sat outside. I sat on our back patio and had a mini picnic with the dogs.

Have you ever worn Birkenstock sandals/footwear? My arches fell in both if my feet and then I cracked my spine - have sworn by Birkenstocks ever since.

Anyway, I hope the rain stays away!



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cough cough sniff sniff, no relief this is

Friday, March 07, 2014

Last night was a rough night, all the congestion and soreness had moved down into my chest. I was so raw, every breath hurt, every cough worse.
I was hoarse and could barely talk.
I am feeling some better today, Only the cough is sticking around now.
I really want to try a walk, but wondering if its worth it to drive to the track and maybe walk a lap or two and get a coughing fit or get out of breath.
Besides, my foot has been killing me today, last night I awoke with something like a cramp in my foot, this is the foot that had been broken last year, and it hurt like crazy.
Enough that I was near to crying out!
Only the break happened on the outside of the foot near the little toe, and the pain last night was in the arch, up by my ankle bone.
My theory is, that I havent been wearing my arch supports, and putting too much pressure on my arch, being that I am flat footed.
So, I decided, walk or no walk, I am going to start wearing my walking shoes with arch supports around all the time.

I have been cleaning a little and find after only a few minutes, I begin coughing.
I really hope this is on its way out.
I was reading yet another article on the dangers of low vitamin d and of course, susceptibility to colds, flu, etc is one of the problems.
This is the 2nd or 3rd cold i have had since Christmas.
It is in the stage now where I am coughing up a lung, hard long coughing, til I turn red.
I hate hate hate all cough syrups, it seems there are none that dont contain some awful ingredient to make one sleepy.
I hate Nyquil, I hate all those types of cough syrups.
So, I go for a chest covered in Vicks salve and a vaporizer.
Such a nice day out, would love to be out walking, and soaking up what little rays of sunlight being sent this way.
But I would just cough up a lung on the walking track!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NYARAMULA 3/8/2014 4:30AM


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CHEFKATLEANER 3/7/2014 10:11PM

    In my fridge, I have a jar of lemon, honey and ginger. I thinly sliced 2 lemons and a good sized chunk of fresh ginger. I put all the sliced stuff in a clean glass jar and covered it all with honey. Whenever I feel a cold coming on, or I have a sore, scratchy throat, I put a couple of spoonfuls of the flavoured honey in a mug and pour boiling water in. It tastes pretty much like Neo Citran, but has no weird chemicals/medications in it. I find it really comforting and helps me sleep. And it soothes my sore throat.

I hope you feel better soon!

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CAPECODBABE 3/7/2014 8:12PM

    Hope you are feeling better. My mother swore by whiskey honey and lemon juice for coughs, and it really works pretty good. Nyquil gives me nightmares.
Take it easy on your foot, better safe than sorry.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THROOPER62 3/7/2014 5:40PM


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ARCHIMEDESII 3/7/2014 3:29PM


I'm feeling better, my energy is good, but I'm terribly congested. I'm sneezing up stuff you only find in Stephen King novels ! LOL !! So, yeah, I have lots of empathy and sympathy for you. I think my immune system is weak because of the constant cold temps we've had. I very rarely get this many colds a season.

Personally ? I think you should toss out all the medications. especially the Nyquil because if you're like me, you're probably waking up with the Nyquil hang over. Instead ? Start chugging some hot tea with HONEY. the honey is a natural anti-oxidant that will sooth your throat. I stopped taking Nyquil because I don't think it works. And it makes me feel sick when I wake up in the morning.

You need to get the over the counter drugs out of your system so that your body can fight off the germs. I really do think that some tea and honey will do more for you than the Nyquil. I've been chugging tea all day. I'll have some honey when I get home.

Oh, Vicks Vapo Rub. I swear by the stuff for opening up the nasal passages.

Comment edited on: 3/7/2014 3:30:37 PM

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