SOFT_VAL67   84,558
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7 is not heaven~!

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

While its still early, I am feeling not much better today. A friend posted on FB last night that according to "those in the know". January 6th is the most depressing day of the year.

Yesterday was very depressing for me. Add to it the cold cold frozen tundra and having not left my own house in 3 days.
I know all about SAD and I know I suffer from it. However, its worse for me right now, dealing with this impending move. I want to clarify. I am not moving to some new magical land where I will meet lots of new people and live in a new exciting town. No, I am moving less than 2 miles up the road from where I am now, and its up a holler, up on a hill, or as I call it, "in the boonies". On days like today, snowy cold days, the roads are more dangerous to have to travel on.
I will feel more depressed than normal as I will feel stuck.
Honey is going to go cut some trees down around the area in the hopes that maybe I will get some more sunlight, because right now its dark and bleak. Very bleak.

So people will say make the best of it, well honestly I cannot see any good in it at all.
Then of course there is dealing with the puppy training, right now, I just dont care, I put her in the crate but I got her out and turned her loose, let her poop everywhere I really dont even care.
I am up 16 pounds from this day 1 year ago. And that is depressing for me, I am sick to death of cold and wind and snow and rain and ice.
I havent seen sun or felt warmth in so long and I cant even get in my car and drive to the tanning bed because my car doors are frozen. And besides the tanning bed is closed due to the below zero temps, schools are closed and most people are just staying inside, happy to still have electricity and my neighbor has a dog who absolutely refuses to go inside his dog house, he put straw down and he put the dog inside the house and stood over him and as soon as the man left, the dog was right back outside and he isnt a mean bad man, he cares for his dog, but he has no where to put him inside and I looked over there early this morning and that dog was laying outside on the ground next to a perfectly good big roomy doghouse with straw and I dont know what my neighbor is going to do.

Add to all of this that tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of the date I broke my foot.
So, here I am a year later, 16 pounds heavier, no chance to go walking anytime soon.
Maybe people much stronger and much younger and healthier than myself can bundle up and go out in this, but I cannot and will not.

And that is so far my depressing, sad, cold, poop filled day.
But really, I am feeling a little better. LOL. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARIAJESTRADA 1/7/2014 10:56AM

    I have the same issue. I live in Chicago, and am so glad the flights were cancelled until Thursday, as I sit in AZ doing the same work I would be doing there in the gloom. My husband has special light bulbs in my office, and when it gets really bad is when I have to exercise the most. I mean in the morning and late in the evening. Exercise is the best mood enhancer for me. Try to give yourself a special treat, especially after a hard day of movie like watching a comedy or something. Hang in there. :)

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ARCHIMEDESII 1/7/2014 10:51AM

    It's never easy to be motivated in the dark and bitter cold. And having that Polar Vortex sitting over a sizable chunk of the continental US isn't helping. I guess Polar Vortex sounds more imposing than an Alberta Clipper. That's what the arctic blasts out of Canada are called in New England.

I actually love winter. Okay, I'm not to keen on the bitter windchills, but let me tell you something I really enjoy at this time of year. When it's quiet, I love hearing the sound my boots make when I walk across the freshly fallen snow. Some times, if I'm lucky, I'll catch a glimpse of a cardinal flying from one branch to another. You can't miss that bright red bird against the pure white snow. it's really beautiful.

Which is my point. Winter can be grey and bleak or it can be serene and beautiful. It's all about looking at the situation with a different perspective. When the temps improve a bit, why not go out and listen to the sound your boots make as you walk across the snow ? You might find it enjoyable.


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day six su x

Monday, January 06, 2014

Today has been a pretty bad day.
This puppy training is for the birds!! I just am at my wits end with this puppy!!
I know shes just a puppy, but I have put pads down almost every inch of the room where she goes, behind the couch and futon, in corners, behind tables, there has to be 6 down right now, and she still goes on the carpet.
I cant take her outside, its like zero degrees and shes only 8 weeks old, shes teeny, like 1 lb, 2 at most.
Going outside just isn't an option right now.
The kennel?
Well, shes in it right now, she also sleeps in it, I have to put her in it if I go anywhere cause I cannot leave her out in the house alone, not only does she poop everywhere, she chews everything.
I really wish in a way I had not gotten her and had waited til warm weather to get a puppy that has to be trained.
But what difference would it make, warmer weather, eventually is going to turn cold right.
So, right now, I am very depressed.
I am depressed over the poop piles I have cleaned all day long, and I am depressed because its so bitter cold and I haven't seen sun in a week or more and no heat and my electric bill doubled last month and I am sure it will triple next.
I am depressed because for 2 days now I have eaten mac and cheese and corn bread muffins, and I have eaten cool whip and I am sick to death of eating junk and I cant figure out why I do.
I am just overall sad and depressed about all of these things and I don't know what to do.
I really just don't know what to do about anything.
I am sick of sitting in this house with no place to go and there is literally NO place to go.
And I couldn't go if I wanted because my car doors are frozen shut and probably will be all day tomorrow as well.
It is just a bad depressing sh1 tt Y day!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BANKER-CHUCK 1/10/2014 10:19AM

    I feel for you with the puppy training. I thought there would be no end to the house breaking routine. Added to the house being used as a potty she had sharpe teeth and claws and chewed on everything. My hands and arms looked like a pincushion. She is a Britney and 2 years old now. But her puppy period is still very vivid.

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CAPECODBABE 1/6/2014 7:36PM

    So sorry you are so down. Be gentle but firm I was told when training (but that was years ago). Have you googled ideas how to train her?

Sounds like you need to lunch with friends when you can get in your car. A little girl talk and a few laughs can really lighten your mood.

How many days until spring???

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SOFT_VAL67 1/6/2014 7:31PM

    It doesn't matter where I put them, or if I put down 6 or 1, she will choose an area where theres no pad and go there.
The truly bad part is, in the next few days I am going to be moving and I know once I am in the new place its going to start all over again, but the thing about it is, in the new place, she CANNOT go on the carpet, I guess she will be in the bathroom in her kennel pretty much all the time, I don't know what the point is in having a dog in the house if you have to keep it locked away all the time.
I am just sad and depressed over the whole thing.

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SYNDIBEE 1/6/2014 7:24PM

    Puppy training is a true challenge. Add the freezing temperatures and I can see why you go crazy.
Tie the pup up on a leash and keep him/her with you at all times. DO NOT LET THE PUPPY ROAM THE HOUSE. When it starts sniffing or squatting run it to a designated pee/poop spot then praise it for finishing it's job in the right place...or if you scare it to the point of not having to go any more then stay there for about 10 minutes then be ready to go again. Also do not cover as much area with the puppy pads. Just put one down in your designated spot and be militant about taking the puppy there all the time. This will reduce puppy confusion.

To improve your own mood.....exercise. Go ahead and check out the spark people videos and do one of them whenever you feel down. Exercise is a natural mood booster and soul cleanser.

Chin up, the day will end

Comment edited on: 1/6/2014 7:26:20 PM

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feeling day 5 in a funk

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Tired tonight.
Cooked a chicken in the crock pot and made a homemade soup, just in case the power goes off here, we will have something good and hot to eat we can re-heat over the kerosene heater.
Thinking about going to bed early tonight.
Snow is supposed to sit in late tonight toward morning, hoping it doesnt get bad here.
It is the arctic temps I am dreading.
Havent done much of anything today, stayed home and cooked, did laundry and now finishing up the dishes and then probably going to put on the jammies and hit the bed.
This cold weather cant leave here too soon for me, I cannot wait for the first good long walk of the new year and going into the 6th day tomorrow and it still hasnt happened.
I really just want to find my place again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 1/6/2014 9:16AM

    Stay warm - that was me a couple days ago with a foot of snow.

This morning (early) it's 49 and I can see spots of grass.

Stay strong Val, relief is coming.

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CAROL_31649731 1/5/2014 9:54PM

    Love the quotes! Stay warm.

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FRENCHSEAMS 1/5/2014 9:45PM

    Well, at least you have planned ahead and have some comfort food to rely on. Spring will come. It will happen. emoticon

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four days in

Saturday, January 04, 2014

Feeling a little proud, I was smelling poo, So, in anger I jumped up with my trusty flashlight and went to look under the futon, and lo and behold, Biscuit had used her pee pad!!!
Now this is a small victory, but it has been a good day in her world and in mine.
I had to go to Walmart to buy a new router, and so I was in and out, straight back to electronics and straight out, of course, it took me half an hour to get into the parking lot and find a place to park and almost that long to get back out.
Then I had to stop at the local grocery and that was another super fun experience.
I would not have had to go if Goodys would have taken my payment over the phone, I tried paying online, it kept saying my password was wrong or something.
So I called and they said 15 dollar charge to pay over the phone, I laughed out loud and hung up on them.
So, off to the store to make that payment and came home, took my dad a bottle of leftover early times, left over from making christmas candy, because he is very sick, has an upper respitory infection and wanted to make himself a hot toddy.
Then, home, shower, walked Biscuit outside and she made her business out there as well.
Now, football, the Colts won, YAH HOO.
And, Subway and milk and now to relax.
The only set back to the day really was, I got a letter from my doctors office telling me that they will no longer be able to accept my health insurance, due to a dispute with my carrier, it seems they do not want to start a contract with my doctors offices.
This bugged me, but didnt deter me, I only see her once every 3 months, sans any emergencies, and if I have to pay to see her I will, because I will not leave her and go elsewhere, hopefully they can work the issue out soon and I will be able to have my office visits covered.
Gonna try to stay warm and watch some football and go to bed.
Overall, day 4 of the new year was pretty fair.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL_31649731 1/4/2014 9:41PM

    Cute name for your dog (I love it).
And I would have hung up, laughing, too!!! emoticon

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food and poo, the neverending saga!!!

Friday, January 03, 2014

I am trying to stick to my plan of being accountable and owning my shortcomings.
So, here it is, the 3rd day of the new month, the new year and I am struggling.
I have not only eaten a kit kat today, but alot of bread.
Bread is worse in my opinion, because I didnt want to buy this bread but I did, knowing it wasnt going to end well.
It is a big loaf of wheat french bread, and while it IS wheat, its also BREAD, and I put butter on it.
I dont know why I am having such an issue saying no to this bread, or saying no to myself walking into the kitchen, opening the loaf, cutting off a thick slice and heating it in the microwave, then spreading the butter on it?????
But whatever the reason, I am.
I havent done well today at all.
It is cold here, super cold, like 8 degrees and I havent been out of the house today.
Also, really, really struggling with training the new puppy.
I have been trying with the pads, and while she does fair, I would say, 70 percent of the time on them pads for peeing, she absolutely WILL NOT go on one to poo!!!
And I am sick sick sick already of cleaning up poo!!!
In the 11 days shes been here, shes gone on the pad, maybe 2 times.
Mostly she goes anywhere she feels like.
No particular part of the room. There are pads down.
Any one have any suggestions?
Someone even suggested kitty litter. She is a very small puppy, and wont get to be more than about 8 or 9 lbs grown, but right now, she is a 1 pound poop machine and mostly what is making me the most angry, is that she goes under the futon and does her business, so that it has to be pulled out and cleaned.
I am really at my wits end.
So there it is, my day, struggling with food, and struggling with poo.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEIGHOC 1/5/2014 5:31AM

    Oh and just 1 more thought... is it possible that you are replacing beer with bread?

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LEIGHOC 1/5/2014 5:29AM

    Hey Girl. I have to give you an empathic LOL on this one.
1) Bread, yeah it's pretty much the Devil. The only way to kick the carb habit is to eliminate them from your life (sound familiar???) I too struggle with a love of bread. But since going gluten free, and then realizing that ALL prepackaged gluten free "replacement" food are worse than the non GF ones, I am bread free. I don't even crave bread anymore. I'm not telling you to go GF coz it's a sucky sucky lifestyle. But do whatever you have to do to get off the bread monkey.
2) Dogs.
we got our dog 6 years ago. She was 1 or 2 already and completely house broken. Until she got a UTI. Now, we pretty much should buy stock in the pee pad business. She hasn't poo'd in the house (thankfully, we have cats to provide THAT entertainment), but she has ruined our carpet to the point where we have missing patches in the bedroom bc I can't take it anymore, but I can't afford new flooring. It pretty much sucks. I can't tell you from personal experience how to train your pup, but i will say that create training now will save you later. We can't crate our dog bc she was abused in a crate before she was rescued. But she usually manages to get it on the pad at night (btw, she gets walked 3 times a day and STILL needs pads at night.)
I will say though, never punish her for her messes unless you catch her IN THE ACT, not afterwards. and punishment shouldn't be rubbing her nose in it or yelling at her. She will just fear you and it won't stop the behavior (could make it worse) Talk to your vet about the situation and definitely get a crate.
Good luck!

Comment edited on: 1/5/2014 5:30:56 AM

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AMARILYNH 1/4/2014 8:21AM

    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but GET THE BREAD OUT of the house!! Throw it away, give it away - but get rid of it!! I've been on this journey since April of 2008 and finally realized in the past year that when I give up most sugar and most bread and keep sodium low my cravings go away. But I over indulged this past week and Thursday and Friday had to FIGHT hard to not eat in the afternoon and after dinner (not any particular thing, just wanted FOOD although I wasn't hungry).

I'm really hoping that today will be better but if not I'm almost sure tomorrow will be. It isn't easy to fight those urges, but giving into them just continues the cycle. It is SO NICE when those feelings go away!!

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 1/3/2014 10:15PM

    Crate training keeps your dog from developing bad habits. Keep him in the crate any time you cannot watch his every move. That does not mean he needs to spend excessive amounts of time there. It means that until he is trained at a level to be really trustworthy, you need to be constantly aware of his every move; and when you can
cannot, then he needs to be in a crate small enough to discourage him doing his business in the crate. You can buy a crate big enough for his future adult size, but block off part of it for now.

Once a DOG gets away with doing his business "in your territory" as a habit, it will be hard work to turn that around. It can be done, but I have seen too many dog owners fail to train the dog properly and then give up and want to pawn the problem dog off on a new owner. But, it is the real responsibility of the one who allowed that behavior to take root, to uproot the behavior.

I wish you the best in retraining your dog out of this behavior before it becomes deep rooted.

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ALIHIKES 1/3/2014 8:07PM

    It's been a while since I had a puppy but I recall it helped to take him outside as soon as he had eaten, and to take him out in the middle of the night, and to praise him extravagantly when he pooed or peed outside. Puppies will pick a particular area out of the way -- right now that unfortunately seems to be under the futon. So I recommend BLOCK ACCESS TO THE futon (close the door, block access with cement blocks, whatever it takes), take the puppy outdoors, and say GOOD DOG with hugs whenever it goes in the yard.

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CAPECODBABE 1/3/2014 7:35PM

    Could the cravings be the weather?
I'm having them too, comfort food mmmmmm

Sorry I can't help with the potty training.
Lots of love and lots of patience

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RHOTHO 1/3/2014 7:23PM

  I am also on day three and although I haven't done so bad I am sick of it already. You are not alone in your feelings. It is a struggle but my doctor wants me to lose weight for my health and I just have to keep trying. As for the puppy I know it is aggravating but they are so worth it in the long run. My family lost a pet of 12 years back in September. I would give anything to have to clean up after him to still have him but I can see how frustrating it is for you. Hang in there it will get better and I am telling myself the same thing because all I want right now is junk food!!!!!

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