SOFT_VAL67   81,875
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a thru z, lets start with d

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor and am going to seriously have to find out what is causing my low vitamin d and how to change that.
Then I am going to the tanning bed, walking if its warm enough and maybe even if it isnt!!
Then finishing up some shopping and get home to a warm house.
The new year is so close now, and I have big big plans for this one.
Yeah yeah, I know, we all say it, I am gonna lose weight this year.
Well by golly I lost weight last year, and I am ready to get back to it.
Maybe evenly numbered years are better for me.
But I do plan to get my goals lined out.
I plan to private journal more, maybe even go back into counseling to work through issues that plague me, but even those are lifting, going farther away from my mind each day.
I really need to focus on my physical health, eating right and taking my vitamins and working out.
These are my goals.
They arent very well organized just yet, but I plan to sit down and get everything lined out and figure out where to begin, AGAIN!!!
I think getting my vitamin d lined out and finding out why it is so low, again, and finding out what to do to get it back up to a much higher number, is the best place to start.
Vitamin d plays a role in so many areas, kidneys, skin, bone.
Time for me to take better care of myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADARKARA 12/12/2013 12:24PM

    I had critically low vit d a few years ago. Doc put me on prescription strength vit d for 12 weeks, and now I take 5,000 IU a day plus use a happy light in the winter. Hope you can get it worked out!

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CAPECODBABE 12/12/2013 10:51AM

    Let's make 2014 a great year!!! emoticon emoticon

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MELISSIMAUS 12/12/2013 9:55AM

    Good luck with getting that Vitamin D issue pinned down. You're right, it's important! I hope that you're able to find an answer.

I think 2014 is going to be a great and healthy year.

emoticon emoticon

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hold the nog, please

Friday, December 06, 2013

Feeling down, but determined today. Got on the scale, against my better judgement and while I havent gained, I havent lost either.
Then I got to thinking, Jan 7th, the day before I broke my foot, I took a pic of me on the scale, It was a day of victory and celebration, as I was down a full 70 lbs from where I had started.
Now, I am only down 56 pounds, I have gained, in 11 months, a full 14 pounds this year.
No loss, so I was determined to lose that, or as much as I could, before next Jan 7th, which is a month away.
Under normal circumstances, losing 14 pounds would be hard for me in a month, but this is the month of cookies and candy and stopping off to eat after shopping, and turkey and dressing and ambrosias galore!!!! oh and of nog and rum drinks and candies made of peanut butter and bourbon!!!
And while I can refrain from over indulging in any of these, I cant guarantee I wont sample.
So, I know, or at least realistically I anticipate, going into 2014 heavier than I went into 2013!!!!
This angers me to the point, that I know I have to buckle down and get serious, again.
I have to do this.
Last night, I replayed in my head the visit to the surgeons office over a year ago and how I was determined when I walked out of her office that I would never return, I would never undergo lap band or bypass for weight loss!!!
And I worked my butt off, literally, my butt is alot smaller.
But I cant seem to lose with that same commitment, I cant seem to find my way back to that place.
So, the best I can do is watch my every bite, walk as much as I can, lift weights, use the bands, and workout at home as much as I can, because today, its in the 30s and pouring rain, pouring, literally, wet wet and wetter!!!
I can only do the best I can and just see where I am when the new year rings in, hopefully it will be alot closer to NORMAL.
Wherever that is.
2014 is going to be a year of renewal, renewal of hard work and commitment.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIETROCKSTAR 12/7/2013 10:51PM

    I also thought about a lap band. My doc sent me to a nutritionist and we had a long talk. So many people who get that surgery wind up heavy again. Better to learn new coping skills and ways to live because getting the surgery just puts off the inevitable, that you will have to make changes to keep weight off.

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PRINCESS_SOFI 12/6/2013 11:04AM

    Whatever you do, don't get the lap band or bypass. That will mess up your stomach for life.

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JANET552 12/6/2013 10:27AM

    Fake it till you make it. Sometimes motivation seems hard to come by but if you keep at it, you'll meet up again. Good luck!!

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the tree and the dragonfly

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Got my tree up, and then cleaned up the mess, mostly. Have done alot of my wrapping as well. Still have a few gifts to get, hopefully if the weather doesnt turn too bad, this weekend that will wrap it up for me.
Its raining here now, they say its only going to get wetter and colder.
So, I guess that means no walk, my foot has been bugging me a little the last few days, maybe its the colder wet weather.
Will find out if my vitamin d has gone up or down, I am betting down.
So, the bike is out of the living room and in the storage bedroom, so for the next few weeks, its walking and weights.
I just hope I can make it thru the shopping and holidays without over indulging in snack and sweets.
Keep me in line Spark friends!!!
A few pics of my ornaments and tree, my newest one, the pink dragonfly.
Someone asked me tonight what is it with me and dragonflies, so, I was reading that the dragonfly is a symbol for change, renewal, emotional growth, because the dragonfly spends so much of its life just growing and then only gets to fly for a short time of its life, it makes the most of its time and it sees so much, because 80 percent of its brain is used for sight.
So, to me, its about my finally seeing myself, finally seeing whats important, finally deciding to make the most of my life, and live. And the renewal, my broken foot, getting back to walking, healing, that is growth and renewal of my self. Pink, just cause I love the color pink.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 12/6/2013 8:24AM

    emoticon tree
emoticon growth

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JACKIE542 12/6/2013 8:09AM

    Very pretty emoticon

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knee deep in scotch tape and ribbons

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

I woke up this morning, really early and stayed up. I was feeling kinda of melancholy, or something.
Watching a video had me near tears, I asked myself, what is up with that?
Then I looked at the date, and realized it is the anniversary of a happy day I had, once, in days gone by.
I knew the day was coming, and I wondered how I would feel, but the funny thing is, I didnt even remember it, before I remembered it, understand?
If I hadnt looked at the calender, I wouldnt have known.
But, I think I handled it pretty well.
The memory of it, I mean, because the day, oh so long ago was a happy one, and I was happy then, and if I had known, what I know now, I would have tried to have enjoyed it more.
Or something like that.
But we cant foresee the future.
I was feeling kinda melancholy, but then I watched a funny movie and I was over it.
The past is the past.
I went to have my lab work done, to check my vitamin d and cholesterol and whatever else, and then I went to the store and bought some of the ingredients I will need to start my Christmas candy, I will probably begin making it around the 12th. Then I went to the walking track, then I came home, with plans to clean, because my house needs it.
But for some reason, I got started on the wrapping and now the house is an even bigger mess!!!
Maybe I will at least get the dishes washed and maybe vacuum, the one patch of carpet in the living room you can actually see.
The weather here today was fantastic and I went for a one hour walk, even though its somewhat windy and we are supposed to see rain.
I am kinda hoping for a white Christmas and hoping to get organized and decorated before the actual day arrives.
Hope everyone had a good day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 12/5/2013 8:41AM

    I hope you find that happiness again emoticon

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BULLRN58 12/4/2013 8:53PM

    Thanks for sharing. Hope your labs are OK

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merry, yeah whatever

Monday, December 02, 2013

So the decision was made today, to put off the move til after Christmas.
I cant say I am sad about it, lol.
I wish I never ever had to move. But, alas, it will happen.
So for the time being, I am going to be packing up little things that can be moved to the new place.
And Christmas will be spent "at home" for one last time.
I am very sad, its going to be a very bittersweet Christmas.
I really really need a job. and maybe some new hobbies, some things to keep me occupied and busy after this move, to keep me from becoming so very depressed about living in the boonies!!!
I honestly dont know how I am going to make it thru this transistion, and if I will be able to stand it up there.
So isolated from the rest of the world.
Sure there are neighbors, but no one I want to spend time with or be around.
Right now where I live is next to the highway and one of my favorite things is sitting out on my porch in the warm weather and seeing the harley's go by and seeing people, some I know and they will honk as they go by, once in awhile someone will stop by.
But the new place is so far from the highway, and I just get so sad and depressed thinking about it.
What can I do????
I have said in the past I would rather die than move there, and I almost feel like a part of me will die, because I feel like I am going to lose my mind.
I guess I am just going to try to enjoy the next few weeks and make the most of the holiday, knowing in the back of my mind that I am so sad and filled with dread.
I keep telling myself maybe it wont be so bad. Maybe it will be ok.
The new house is alot nicer and warmer and I can fix it the way I want it.
Doing a little shopping for things, lamps, rugs, etc has made me feel a little better, but overall, there are times I tell myself I would rather be alone and broke and have nothing than to move there.
I feel like a part of me is dying.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OLGA18 12/3/2013 4:26AM

  I am sorry you are feeling so low and I do understand how difficult a move can be. I moved to the inner city (and a different country) 2 years ago having always lived in (and loved) the country.
It's a difficult transition....but if it must be done, it must.
I have learned to embrace the city though my heart will always be in the country. I think that, in time, you will learn to appreciate the unique qualities that your new area has to offer. Setting up a new place can be really fun and if you keep your focus on that for awhile you could enjoy that. Maybe go pick up paint chips and fabric samples and such to do some idea shopping...?

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BRADMILL2922 12/3/2013 4:22AM

    Sorry to see that you are having a hard time with this. I know it is easier said than done but look at the move as a new adventure. An opportunity for new things in your life. I hope that it all works out for you and you can enjoy the holidays

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IAMBIZI 12/2/2013 10:03PM

    I am sorry that this move is making you sad.
I guess you are having to do this other wise you would not.
maybe you can spend time at the library or walk at the mall if you get isolated invite your friends over.

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CAPECODBABE 12/2/2013 9:12PM

    I hope things work out for you.

Think of it as a new canvas and you can make a beautiful picture

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SDLOV3R 12/2/2013 7:46PM

    That is ROUGH. I love the city as well and live right next to the highway, and I don't think I could every be completely happy living in the "boonies". It just gets soooo quiet! One cool thing about living a little off the beaten path, though, is the stars and the crickets. So maybe you don't hear the harleys. Or maybe you buy your own! But you get the sounds of nature that us city folk don't get. And you might think there's nobody now, but you haven't moved yet. There are people everywhere and if you allow yourself to get involved then you'll meet others and make friends and be social. It'll be different, but hopefully you come to love some of the nuances of country living that you didn't get in the city. I definitely feel for you, though. Hugs, my dear!

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RAPUNZEL53 12/2/2013 7:40PM

  Good Luck in new house!

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