Thursday, November 14, 2013
On January 7th of this year, I took a pic of myself standing on the scale, at the lowest weight I had been in probably 10 years at least.
As most of you know, if you have ready my blogs, on Jan 8th, the very next day, I was on the walking track, about 45 minutes into my daily walk, when I suffered a broken foot.
5 to 6 months of high doses of vitamin d and alot of depression and I just lost sight of what I needed to be doing, finding another way to exercise, I lost confidence in myself and I lost motivation and determination. and today, I found out I am 15 pounds heavier than I was then.
So, as blogged about before, Today I had a dreaded doctors appointment.
It was pretty much as I suspected, the scale was pretty right on with my own.
So, here it is in a nutshell.
I have gained 15 pounds since Jan. 7th.
So, pretty much a pound a month, a little more.
I know it could be worse, but it shouldnt be this bad at all.
If nothing else, I should at least be down 15 pounds, if for the whole year!!!
So, I have been pretty disgusted with myself today, but I am too tired to beat myself up too much.
After the doc, I went to Lowes, then Walmart, then Food City, then Dollar store, then gas station, then drug store, then Subway, then post office, then came home and unloaded the car, packed it all inside, put it away.
And I am beat!!!!
How many weeks left in 2013??
I am not even going to set any kind of goal as far as pounds go.
I am however, going to set a goal, to walk as much as I possibly can.
Work out here at home, get myself and my home organized.
And just do the best I can to stay positive, count calories, spark my food, fitness and stay with my groups, take advice from all of you.
And go into 2014 with a whole new positive outlook and hopefully start losing weight again.
I am going to re-do some of what I spark/track and I am going to change my calories, etc.
And that is all I know to do.
I am trying to get things organized around here for an upcoming, and very much dreaded move.
And for the upcoming holidays, I had planned to make and give out homemade candy, but I am not going to do that.
I dont eat it, and I dont want to put it off on others who might be struggling.
As discussed with my doctor today, I know that alot of what is going on with me is depression, perhaps hormonal, but what ever it is, its just one more excuse to allow myself to slide and slip and hide and lie and cover up and fall.
And I might be down, but I am not out!!!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Havent blogged much lately. Tomorrow I am going to totally redo my spark page and update everything.
Starting over from tomorrow.
I pretty much know my current weight, and I know I have gained a little, about 3 lbs.
I go to the doctor tomorrow, So I am going to see what the scale there says.
When I get home I am going to make the changes to my page.
I need to get back on track and I know I have said that many times, but this is for real.
This is all too real for me.
I refuse to gain another pound and I refuse to give up!!!
So, we had our first little snow fall here yesterday. Not much, but enough to tell me that its really real, winter is here.
I have hated winter with a passion since beginning my weight loss plan.
But it doesnt matter anyway, my car is broke down so I cant get out and go to the track.
I can only walk around my house and do workouts at home.
I hope everyone is having a good day
Thursday, November 07, 2013
i dont have too much to blog about tonight.
i am pretty tired again tonight, dont know if its the change in the season, the fact it gets dark so early now and that we havent been seeing much sun these days regardless.
i am concerned again for my vitamin d and have started adding an extra 3000iu a day.
putting me up to 5000iu daily.
plus my one a day, fiber, and getting as much calcium and vitamin d and iron in my diet from food as i can.
but maybe it isnt enough. its time for me to start getting back in the tanning bed, whether it gives me extra vitamin d, i am unsure of, but it gives me some light and makes me feel alot better.
i go back to the doc on the 14th and dread more than i can say getting on the scale.
i am going to get my vitamin d level checked when i go back, i havent had it checked since may.
but there is nothing i can do but continue eating right and today has been a good day.
no junk, no snacking, and have stayed within calorie range and drank my water.
wondering who all is getting ready for the holidays???
i have done a little online shopping, but not a whole lot.
we still have thanksgiving to get thru and just trying to stay on track with my food is going to be enough to focus on, i still remember last thanksgiving like it was yesterday, it was a warm day and i went to the walking track, i sure hope to repeat that this year as well.
i just want to get back to walking more regularly and be outdoors as much as the weather will allow.
so, thats about it, the standard run of the mill blog.
my pic of the sun over the ocean myrtle beach-------
Wednesday, November 06, 2013
orange is my absolute favorite!!!!
Days that have equal amounts of good and bad???
Friends, family and neighbors losing their jobs in record numbers in Appalachia in the coalfields.
Saddens me, that a good friend got his lay off slip on his birthday.
Saddens me that I had to unfriend a facebook friend and real life neighbor for asking me if I knew where she could "find anything". Meaning drugs.
Saddens me even more that my own family members ask me that sometimes as well.
Knowing that my son is in NA and has been clean for over 2 years and is very much involved with helping others thru NA.
And yet, these people ask me this, as if I have some connection thru the drug cartel!!!
Maybe losing over 50 pounds gave people the impression it was from drug use.
Anyway, you say no, you unfriend, you tell people that you are po'd about their assumptions and you move on.
Good things, today, the weather was wonderful and I stayed within calorie range and feel pretty good tonight.
Not tired or sleepy and have gotten some more house work done.
You would wonder how two people can accumulate so much work to be done.
And one more good thing, stopping off at a local thrift type outlet store today and discovering they keep my Trident vitality gum that all the other stores seem to have stopped selling.
In fact, I had ordered it thru drugstore.com and figured when I ran out I would once again have to order it thru them.
It was in two big shopping cards full of all different kinds of gums, so I only got 3 packs, tomorrow I am going back and go thru those buggies until I find every pack I can find, at 3 for a dollar!!!!
I chew the gum when I walk, it has almost become a ritual, walking clothes, earbuds, hair in band, walking shoes on, and trident gum.
Now, I have my gum and no excuses!!!
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
So today was spent trying to clear up an insurance issue on the home.
Seems the bank and the insurance company cant get on the same track, maybe now they have.
And more house work, and thats about my day so far.
Trying to get organized, in more ways than one.
I dont even want to talk about the scale this week. Today being weigh in day.
I just sweep it under the rug and decide ok, its one of two things, go from here.
or go back and dwell on the bad feelings and the disappointment.
I vote to go from here. Besides, I am just about too tired to focus on it tonight, I am worn out, time change maybe???
It wasnt terribly bad, but it was not the number I wanted to see.
Oh well, its just the same old tired what do I do, where do I start over, what am I doing wrong, blah blah blah that I have said a million times.
I just step back and not dwell on it, cant go back in time so I have to live up to the poor choices I have made and then I move on.
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