Tuesday, November 05, 2013
So today was spent trying to clear up an insurance issue on the home.
Seems the bank and the insurance company cant get on the same track, maybe now they have.
And more house work, and thats about my day so far.
Trying to get organized, in more ways than one.
I dont even want to talk about the scale this week. Today being weigh in day.
I just sweep it under the rug and decide ok, its one of two things, go from here.
or go back and dwell on the bad feelings and the disappointment.
I vote to go from here. Besides, I am just about too tired to focus on it tonight, I am worn out, time change maybe???
It wasnt terribly bad, but it was not the number I wanted to see.
Oh well, its just the same old tired what do I do, where do I start over, what am I doing wrong, blah blah blah that I have said a million times.
I just step back and not dwell on it, cant go back in time so I have to live up to the poor choices I have made and then I move on.
Monday, November 04, 2013
Tired, but yet so much still to do tonight, housework, fold clothes, do dishes, sweep kitchen and clean the bathroom!!
Then when my son gets back with my car, I have to drive him back to his house!!
Well, by that I am referring to a post I made today in my team forum, Cutting down the booze.
Yesterday I was invited to go out with my friend, I knew she wanted to go drinking. I told her no I had other things to do.
So, today, she asked me what I "got into". I told her I went and picked up my son, and bought my neice some baby clothes and then came home and cleaned my house and stayed home and watched the Walking Dead.
She said, that "sounds domestic, lol"
Well, was that supposed to be a bad thing?
Trying to help out my niece by buying her some baby clothes, helping out my son by giving him a ride while his car is torn up?
Cleaning, staying home, not drinking????
I feel really sorry for her more and more as I listen, with sober ears and see her with sober eyes.
She probably sees me as her last link to that past life, or at least one of them and that life was 18 years ago.
The fun people, the fun places, and the fun times, are way behind me.
Most of the friends we had back there are old, or dead or at home, being domestic.
I can remember being in my 20s and saying, I sure hope I am not in this bar drinking when I am in my 40s.
Once in a while to go sit and have ONE beer, to ride around the town, to chat with a few old timers who wander in.
But for me, its so much a part of my past.
I dont even mind being domestic these days.
I am shopping, for me, bought myself some new clothes, some items for the new place, upcoming move.
And some Christmas items to put back.
Trying to clean a little tonight and watch the Voice.
Hoping the weather is warmer the next few days so I can get a few good long walks in.
I might be a little domesticated, but I am still not tame!!!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Going thru and cleaning out some old emails, I found a pic I had taken on Jan 7th of this year.
One day before I broke my foot. A pic of my feet, standing on the scale. My toes were quite gold sparkly, lol. As the day before that I had a pedicure.
So, as of today, a full 9 months later and I am up 9 pounds. I guess when you look at it in those terms, one pound per month, it isnt all that bad.
Even though, it should be many many pounds lower. I should have, and had hoped to, been down something like 30 or 40 pounds by now.
But its a new day.
Finding that pic gave me hope.
I realize that I havent gained an outrageous amount of weight and there is time to catch back up.
I might be close to a year later, and I have blogged before about how 2013 has been one of the worst years of my life.
There is time to catch back up. I think I should be able to lose that 9lbs and 1 more and get myself right back where I left off.
My goal is to lose this 10 lbs by the end of this year and go into 2014 with a whole new weight and a whole new hopeful outlook on life.
Yes, I know I should be able to lose this much sooner. If I could only get back to the way I was losing weight before 1 to 2 lbs a week, I would be able to lose that 10 and maybe another 10 before the goal date.
But realistically, I havent been losing any weight at all, so to set the goal any higher would surely be asking for failure.
I dont know what was going on in my life during this weight loss period that I am doing all that much differently.
Maybe it was just a much less stressful period in my life, maybe I had a higher metabolism, maybe I was just more focused.
I will admit my focus has waned in these months. But its always been right under the surface, and I am not eating that many more calories per day.
Less alcohol is in my diet now, almost none at all.
I sure am not walking as much, and as the days grow wetter and colder I know I will walk even less.
But I am not going to stop trying.
I just really hope that 2014 comes in like a lion, wild and bold and ready to conquer this!!!
I am ready to get back on that scale and take pics of much lower numbers.
This is really difficult to see the long term when I say the numbers out loud, but as of right now, my goal is still a good 80 lbs off.
I become angry when I sit and think that as of right now I am still eligible for lap band surgery.
I have such a long hard journey ahead of me, and I am not giving up.
I will settle for this to take me another 2, even 3 years if necessary.
But as of today I am just going to focus on the next 2 months and the next 10 pounds.
It is cold and dreary here and we are looking at some possible wet snow flakes in the higher elevations here.
I have seen it this cold and even snowing on Halloween, for example last year on Halloween, we buried Honeys mom.
And it had snowed so much the 2 or 3 days after she passed, that the grave diggers had to tram the backhoe up the hill to the cemetery to dig her grave, as their truck wouldnt go up the hill in the snow.
I will never forget November 1st if I live to be 109!!!
I went walking the day she was buried, Halloween day and it was so snowy and cold I had to wear a hoodie and gloves and a scarf and boggan and the next day, November 1st.
I went out walking in my regular tshirt and walking pants, the weather warmed up that much overnight.
Today I made a big pot of homemade veggie laden chili, I added carrots, celery, mushrooms, onion, green and red bell peppers. Along with my regular chili mixings. Good hearty and hot on this cold fall night.
Time to get my housework done for the evening and get ready to watch the Biggest Loser!!!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Yesterday I went for my walk, it was so so cold, so I wore blue jeans, not tight ones, and I dont usually do that.
I usually wear womens carpis by Danskin. Loose fitting and just below the knee.
But as the weather begins to get colder, I am going to be looking for alternatives, I have one pair of walking pants, that are way too long on me.
This seems to be a recurring theme with me in colder weather.
Anyway, for some reason, the jeans or the fact I hadnt walked in a week, or what, but I got so short of breath, I was struggling after 30 minutes.
When I got finished and sat in my car, I was actually gasping. Nothing dangerous, but just having to really breath down deep to get a good breath.
It wasnt from a hard walk or work out.
It was different today, I walked an hour and felt good and hoping to go again tomorrow.
The foot is a little sore, so I might have to watch that.
The weather is really showing its age, winter is here.
A friend in Wisconsin reported today that shes getting some snow.
So, I have stayed in control in my calories today and I am feeling pretty good.
A little tired, but, I am pulling the blanket up over me, watching the Voice and then hitting the bed early.
Hoping all of you had a nice Monday.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Ok, today, while sparking my nutrition, I noticed that my calorie amounts, almost every nutrient had changed again.
I know I didnt do it, I know Spark people does that from time to time, I am not sure why, if its a reflection of my fitness minutes or what.
I dont think I have the two linked for that reason, I prefer my nutrition to change only when I change it.
I did add in some different exercise today, weights and squats.
It is high time for me to get back to strength workouts.
I am looking forward to the new Biggest Loser tonight, even though, it sometimes depresses me, because we know those results arent typical and we know surely some of those will gain most of that weight back.
I like Rubben Studdard and I wish he had grown to the height of AI fame such as Kelly and Carrie and Daughtry.
I am going to be rooting for him tonight and hoping he remains with the season for some time.
As for me. I am aggravated as I can be with my dentist, my last visit, for what was to be a routine cleaning, turned into a drilling and filling of a cavity and apparently he ground part of one tooth down so much that anything I eat gets in between those two teeth and drives me crazy!!
The slightest little morsel, and I am sent flossing. This in turn inflames the gum and makes it feel even worse.
It is a nice day here today. Have been sitting with the door open, enjoying a light cool fall breeze.
I have a pet squirrel, well, not really, but hes in my yard most mornings gathering his winter harvest.
He stands pretty still and stares at me to see if I am going to bother him or go about my business.
I am going to try to capture him, on film I mean, lol.
I do enjoy fall, it is a nice day here today.
Other than clean and do laundry, wash dishes, clean my coffee pot and get in my mini workout, (walk to come later). I havent done too much.
Just trying to set my trackers back the way they were, drink my water and relax.
Hoping everyone else does the same.
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