SOFT_VAL67   82,768
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inside this place

Monday, October 07, 2013

Awoke to the sound of rain falling, hitting the leaves on the ground outside my window.
A nice morning to just roll over and go back to sleep. I had pretty much decided there would be no chance of a walk today, as the track is quite slick when its wet.
I walked onto my porch to feed the dog around 11am, and it was very chilly outside.
So, it has me craving a good long walk.
I think possibly, if no more rain, I will go to the park later and walk on some of the dirt trails, hidden by the trees, I am sure they arent muddy.
I think its a nice day for it, although, even as I type this, the sun is re-appearing and will probably get hot out.
Just my luck.
But anyway, its fall, might as well get used to it.
This time last year was sure different, I was at the height of my weight loss, losing at least a pound or two a week.
The future was looking so bright. I guess I hit a wall and it was a very tall one because since January I havent been able to get back to that place.
I dont give up, I make mistakes, often.
I eat things I wouldnt have dared touch a year ago.
And yes, I have moments of great guilt. Feelings of failure and desperation.
I try to stay positive. It isnt easy when you struggle and try and have one good day out of five. But I wont go back.
I will never say, "go ahead, have another piece of pizza, or drink a soda or whatever"
I will stay on this course, even when the wall jumps up and knocks me back down.
There has to be some give.
I MUST start losing weight again, its just that simple, I wont stop until I do.
This is my mantra, my will power is tested daily, my resolve, my desire....
I spark, I count calories, fat, protein, carbs, I try to add fiber, calcium, iron, and get my vitamins.
Each and every day I am here, each and every day I awake with the best intentions.
I know we arent supposed to focus so much on the numbers, we arent suppose to make it all about the scale, but I havent seen a loss in so long, there has to be some issue.
There has to be, right???
So, anyway, I will get that walk in today, because my body desires it. My heart longs for it, my mind says do it, and my determination says "show them"!!!
Show myself!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMBIZI 10/8/2013 12:21AM

    hope you had a nice walk!
bizi emoticon

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SMITTY4RL 10/7/2013 9:02PM

    Hang in there--I know that's pretty easy to say, but hard when you face no losses for a while. You've such a great attitude, hope you were able to get that walk in after all.

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CAPECODBABE 10/7/2013 7:33PM

    Great attitude emoticon

Hope it was a great walk.

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LOTUSBURGER 10/7/2013 6:09PM

    emoticon emoticon

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the reunion, not too bad, w/pic

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Yesterday was the reunion and you all should have seen the food!!!
Mostly from the Southern tradition, corn breads and dried beans, fried chicken and sweet potatoes smothered in ooey gooey marshmellows!!!
And then there were foods from out of state cousins, pea salads, and cashew ham salads...all just other names for Mayonnaise salads!!!
I did eat, but really not that much...a spoon full of maybe 4 of the potato/pasta/veggie salads...one piece of ham, one chicken strip, and one boneless chicken wing.
one cheddar biscuit and a hearty portion of fresh from the garden cooked green beans and some fresh from the freezer/from the garden of my uncle, sweet corn!!!
Yes, I even had dessert...a half a piece of nut brownie and a half a piece of some sort of pecan sweet brown sugary concoction...and, I was sicker than a dog!!!
Just as I was the day of the barbecue meat meal!!!
Probably the only thing that saved me from really going overboard, aside from NOT wanting to, was my spanx!!!
I guess after one plate full, they were stretched to the max and my stomach was about to pop the seams!!!
So, while I only felt like I was going to die, I only went thru the buffet line once!!!
Then came home and had a yogurt for a late evening snack, how I even found the room is beyond me.
But I had a nice time, visiting with cousins and seeing aunts and uncles getting older, seems to have more meaning the older I get.
I got two really sweet compliments, my cousin Pam told me I had the prettiest hair and that I must go to a wonderful colorist, YES YES, My colorist is GREAT!!!!
She worked me in on her day off, Friday, just so I wouldnt have to go to my family reunion looking like Grandmama Addams!!!
And my moms cousin was talking to me, and she said "You are so pretty Valarie, you have the nicest skin and the prettiest lips"!!!
wowowowowowwwowww!!!
I love getting compliments, it really made me feel great.
Now if only next year, they will all compliment me on how much weight I have lost since they last saw me and how much restraint I have from the dessert table!!!
LOL.
So, today I got up and went for my walk and going to stay in the rest of this beautiful fall day and clean my house and get ready to watch the Broncos/Cowboys tonight.
mother vs. son
my team, the broncos and my sons team, the cowboys!!!
Poor guy, I hate to see my son in pain, but he will be after Peyton Manning tears the cowboys to shreds heheehe....
Everyone have a lovely Sunday!!!
the day of the reunion.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGETUMX2 10/7/2013 6:44AM

    Glad you had a good time @ the reunion!!!


..... who woulda thunk? Over 500 yards passing, & we still lost!

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CAPECODBABE 10/6/2013 9:31PM

    emoticon

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KIMBERLY_Y 10/6/2013 4:08PM

    Great job by not over-eating! It is very difficult when all that comforting family food is presented to you, but you did a good job. And you look radiant! Thanks for sharing.

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IAMBIZI 10/6/2013 2:05PM

    love this picture of you!
bizi

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JUST_BRENDA 10/6/2013 1:21PM

    Thank goodness for Spankz!

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ALICIA214 10/6/2013 11:52AM

 


And may the best man win..... emoticon

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RENATA144 10/6/2013 11:47AM

  I'm happy that you had a good time ! You deserve it. Eating yogurt was a good way to help your digestion & help you to rid yourself of the fod faster. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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but it felt good on my lips!!! w/pic

Thursday, October 03, 2013

I was so so sick. emoticon We went into the grocery store to get honey crisp apples, I added the apples to my cart and went thru the grocery, but by the time I made it half way thru, I was about to totally barf.
I honestly felt like I was going to pass out.
By the time I paid for my apples and a few other items and walked out to my car, I was full on sick.
I got up early this morning, and went walking.
I worked part of the night last night but my employer cut her trip short, so I was home by midnight.
Slept well last night, but for some reason, my feet and legs were like lead on the walking track today.
But I did walk that full hour.
But later in the day, after visiting several department stores, including Walmart, on the 3rd day of the month, I was hurting pretty bad. So, I had to take my pain medication for my foot..... emoticon
Since my birthday was Monday, and this was the first day we had a chance to get out together, Honey took me out to eat.
And eat I did!!!!
I sat down in that restaurant and I ordered a heavy meal and I ate, hence....the reason I was so sick.
I left half a piece of cornbread, and almost an entire uneaten baked potato.
And I got a take out box for what was left of my brisket and pulled bbq chicken.
But I ate a hearty portion of baked beans, one piece of cornbread, and a half of a half rack of ribs.
A hearty portion of pulled bbq beef.
And a large cup of sweet tea.
How many calories was it???????????????
Good question, I have zero idea.
I do know this, I was so full I was about to pop and sick as a dog!!! Could have been a combo of the fact I hadnt eaten anything all day but a protein shake, the mixture of the pain meds with all that food???? I am not sure, but I know I was about to lay down in the parking lot.... emoticon
I dont know if it was just the portion, or if it was all that meat, or what, but within 10 minutes, I really thought I was gonna die.
Will I sit here and say never again...? Havent we all said that?
Do I regret it...? Well now I do, a little, because I know it was probably my calories, fat, carbs, sodium, etc for 2 or 3 days....but at the time, I didnt, It was very tasty.
And I guess if I look at it like, its once a year, lol, lol, the same old tired excuses.
Nothing I can do now, but confess it and own up to it and hopefully not do it again, for at least another year.... emoticon emoticon
I guess that is just a reminder as to why I no longer eat that way on a regular basis, and the fact that the portion of food, NOW makes me that sick, when before I could have eaten all that and more....Well, what it told me was I DO NOT like being that sick and I do not want that much food in my belly at one time, ever!!!
Live and learn.....I hope I did. emoticon

And here it is, a good 6 hours later and I am still feeling a little queasy!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAREFOOTGRL 10/4/2013 10:06PM

    I hope you feel better. That plate did look good! I told my son (23 yrs old) the other day that the older you get the less you want to be hungover or sunburned, lol. It took me many more years to realize I didn't like the suffering of over eating either. I still do it from time to time but it really makes me feel worse than sunburns or hangovers. Have a good weekend.

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GOGETUMX2 10/4/2013 7:31AM

    I hope you're feeling better.

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CAPECODBABE 10/4/2013 6:30AM

    I hope you feel better.

It does look like a lot of food - even for 2!

Lesson learned. I've felt that way after Chinese food emoticon



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IAMBIZI 10/3/2013 11:55PM

    I hope you feel better by tomorrow.
bizi

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BRADMILL2922 10/3/2013 11:39PM

    Like you said, you live and learn. I would go with a combo of the reasons as to why you didn't feel good. You hadn't eaten all day. You ate too much. All that sodium and stuff...that will leave you wanting to lay in the parking lot! But I hope you are feeling better now and don't beat yourself up over one meal! Happy late birthday!

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a song, a pic, a birthday wish, for me, thanks me!!!

Monday, September 30, 2013

This is a new one, I havent shared.....I suppose 46 could be alot worse....

Woke up to an early foggy chilly fall morning. Got a late start on the track, but I got that hour in and loved it.
Feet are a little achy today, not sure why, but maybe shoes???

So, as some of you may know, today I turned 46!!!
Yes, 4 6....I know its hard to believe!!
I met a Facebook friend a few weeks ago for the first time in person, thru my employer, he was talking about people from our high school and he kept saying names and I told him I didnt recognize the names, then I told him I was a few years older than him and his classmates, he said, no, you graduated when...90 91???
LOL, I am unsure if he was just yanking my chain or being nice or what, but I said nooooo, I was class of 85.
He said no way!!!
Well that is my being bragged on, or bragging on myself moment for the day.
Maybe I am delusional, but I know friends who are my same age and they look alot older than me, so I feel I am doing pretty good.
The lady I work for told me the first time she met me that my skin is flawless.
I was unsure if she needed glasses or if she had been into the wine.
Flawless=not!!
But I feel pretty good about it, I dont smoke, dont drink, often, and I guess now that I am eating healthier foods, drinking lots of water, sleeping better and exercising, getting alot of fresh air and sunshine, when I can....I guess my skin is in good shape for 46 years of sometimes rather rough living.
I got my walk in and went to Subway and treated myself to one indulgence I know I need to make a very rare thing, A blueberry redbull!!!
I dont drink them often, and not for energy, but I like the taste.
And I came home, and that has been my birthday so far. No plans. The walk was great, added some new songs to my player this week and really enjoyed being out in the sun.
Now if I can just start seeing some progress on the scale!!
I know, I know!!!
Dont put all our eggs in that basket, but some of them right?
I mean, come on already, I am walking as much as I can, trying to work on my abdominal and stretch band workout as often as I can.
Eating pretty good, staying pretty well within my calories daily, no alchohol, lots of veggies, lots of water.
WHY AM I NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT????
Come on????
I cant take this much longer!!!
Every Tuesday I get on that scale and sometimes I am down a pound or two, but by the next week, its right back.
This is my one contentious issue for the day.
I just want to continue to lose weight, I want to get some pounds off me.
I hit a wall back in about Feb, after I had to stop walking due to the foot, and it has just stuck, I knew I had slacked, I knew depression played a role in my not eating so healthy.
But I am feeling good, I am not dwelling on the past or the negative thoughts, I am upbeat and I am trying really hard.
But I am seeing zero results!!!
So, blah, now I have gotten bad thoughts in my head and I feel like I am missing something, somewhere, like theres a big secret I am not in on it.
Well, anyway.
Turning 46 isnt too bad. If I were down another 30 pounds as I had really hoped to be by now, I would be alot happier, but overall, its not been depressing.
I feel pretty good, and I dont look too bad...oh there I go bragging again, lol.
I mean, just imagine how smoking hot I would be if I had continued on my weight loss thru this past year. emoticon emoticon
When I do my end of the year review in December, I know my focus is going to be on how bad 2013 was....from start to finish, it was just an overall depressing year, wrought with anger, sadness, loss of hope, loss of physical ability.
But never once loss of determination, or desire!!!
Thanks to all friends who take the time daily to comment on my blog.
It is nice to know someone is listening.
Here is one of my new songs on my player, I listen to it when I walk and I ponder the meaning, most of these songs were probably written about lost love.
To me, they often hold different meanings and this one does....to me, FOR ME...WHEN I AM HEARING IT....THRU MY EARS, MY SOUL....it is about finding ones self again, I say, I am not leaving ME behind.
I am not giving up on ME!!! So, my birthday wish, I make WITHOUT a cake, Is to lose another 80 lbs....in time, and to just feel as good or better on my next birthday and that I can keep on working on me, physically, emotionally, just find time for me and workout. My wish is to be where I want and need to be.
Hope everyone is having a fabulous last day of Sept. www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2ZAWszgtLM

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGETUMX2 10/1/2013 7:39AM

    Happy Belated Birthday!!!

emoticon m emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

HOpe you had a good day yesterday, & hope you have a good one today, too:)



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FRENCHSEAMS 10/1/2013 12:30AM

    Well Happy Birthday to you! emoticon

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IAMBIZI 9/30/2013 7:54PM

    happy birthday val! This is a great blog post from you today.
keep at it!
keep pushing we can do it!
bizi emoticon

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BAREFOOTGRL 9/30/2013 6:55PM

    You look beautiful! I'm glad you're having a good birthday.

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THINANDFITEMILY 9/30/2013 6:44PM

    emoticon 46!- you're just a baby emoticon

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CAPECODBABE 9/30/2013 3:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PLUGINALONG 9/30/2013 3:44PM

    You are looking good. Keep on trying, never give up. emoticon

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MELISSIMAUS 9/30/2013 2:03PM

    You look pretty gorgeous (and fierce) in that photo. emoticon

emoticon

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LOTUSBURGER 9/30/2013 1:29PM

    WOO HOO!!!
Happy Birthday!!

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MANDIETERRIER1 9/30/2013 1:15PM

    Happy Birthday!

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who knew? i bet all of you did, with some new pics.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Cereal.
It is without a doubt a wonder food.
As many of you know who follow my blogs, I broke my foot in Jan and was diagnosed with EXTREME low vitamin d levels.
I began researching foods that will help increase vitamin d, and found that cereals are almost all highly fortifed with vitamin d.
And more surprisingly, Frosted Flakes are ranked as one of the highest.
Yes, the sugary cereal we all would normally stay away from, is one of the best sources of vitamin d.
Of course vanilla instant oatmeal seems to be the highest.
www.dietandfitnesstoday.com/nutritio
nsorted.php?catid=0800&nutid=324


So, today I was sparking my food and I was noticing how low my iron was, again, and I did some research and realized, DUH!!! CEREAL!!!
I had a bowl of raisin bran crunch and my iron went from like 20 to 122, wow!!!
So, back to cereal.
I was eating alot of it in the past, and I guess its about time to start again.
If it helps increase my fiber, vitamin d and iron...
I got in a good long walk this morning, I was just pushing along, putt putting along.
I dont know if its where I havent walked as much or what, but I had no energy, after 20 minutes I had to sit down and take a little break.
Then I had my second wind and finished an hour. Felt really great, it was 10am and only in the mid 60s.
Fall really is a new time for me. I drove yesterday to the interstate park, now there is a place to walk, its nearly too far to drive to walk it daily, but a couple times a week.
Trails for walking, hiking, biking and running.
Not to mention that this time of year, the park is officially closed so there isnt as much traffic and miles of roads, mostly natural one lane roads to walk on or beside.
This weekend hasnt been too bad.
I hope I see a drop on the scale this week and I am working toward that goal.
Getting my protein and water.
Just doing the best I can to get back into losing mode.
Now its time for some BRONCOS FOOTBALL BABY!!!!
And tonight, sadly the final episode of Breaking Bad, sniff sniff, I hate to see it go!!
But look forward to The Walking Dead in 2 more weeks.
Fall.
I love it!!!!
Breaks Interstate Park...Ky/Va stateline, where I am going walking this week!!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINY67 10/3/2013 10:25AM

    Thanks for the info, emoticon

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JUST_BRENDA 9/30/2013 5:52AM

    emoticon

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JODROX 9/29/2013 9:52PM

    I'm a big fan of cereal :) but try to look for the lower sugar ones... well, lower than the really bad ones anyway. Lately I've been eating Kashi Toasted Berry Crisp. It's high in fiber and protein (not sure about the nutrients you're looking for).

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BAREFOOTGRL 9/29/2013 8:31PM

    Awesome pictures. Looks like the parks around here where I walk.

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CAPECODBABE 9/29/2013 8:16PM

    Beautiful pictures. What a great place to walk.

Enjoy your cereal!

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BARBANNA 9/29/2013 5:34PM

    Great park picture! Glad life is treating you kind and you are doing great! emoticon emoticon

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IAMBIZI 9/29/2013 4:33PM

    my vitamin d3 was low so I take a supplement, 5,000 units brought mine up to 50 which is a good level. IT is a small little gel capsule, easy to take and not expensive. I also take magnesium oxide phillips caplets for regularity issues. does the trick.
have a great rest of the day!
bizi emoticon
love the pictures!

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EWL978 9/29/2013 4:13PM

    If it works, why fight it?? Just keep on keeping on and good luck!!

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LOSE4LIFE47 9/29/2013 4:10PM

    emoticon

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