Friday, August 23, 2013
Coming around the last curve of the walking track headed to my car tonight, I heard a voice say "You better speed it up a little". I turned to see my friend Scotty, on his bike.
I explained I was finishing up my final lap after an hour.
We exchanged the normal pleasantries, the weather, etc.
And I got into my car to drive away.
I sat there taking off my pedometer and getting ready to leave and I started thinking about how things have sure been different for myself and for Scotty this past year.
A year ago I was well on my way to losing weight for the first time in my many years of trying.
I had only lost like 35 pounds, but I knew this time was different.
I knew this time it meant life or death. I had chosen twice not to have weight loss surgery and I knew this was it.
I pushed myself hard from May til January and my self esteem was at an all time high a year ago.
I felt better about myself, I wasnt ashamed to go out with friends. I knew people were notIcing my weight loss and were really congratulating me.
Then in January, of course, things changed, I broke my foot and couldnt walk, which was my choice of exercise and not only for physical health but mental and emotional and just getting outside, finding time for myself.
Depression set in, relationship issues came to a boiling point, decisions were put on hold.
I allowed myself to slowly, and only ever so slightly fall back into some bad eating habits.
And I gained some of my weight, not alot, but some of it back.
That was nearly 8 months ago.
It sure doesnt seem that way. It was a long recovery as I have written about before.
Slow healing and slow climbing back up out of the blue state I was in and getting back into the right frame of mind.
For Scotty, 8 months ago he was dating my best friend and we all went to the mall together on New Years Day, a little trip out of town, I can remember us going out to eat, Golden Corral.
I hadnt broke my foot then and I was very much in lose, stay in control mode, so I was eating protein and salad and veggies.
Poor Scotty couldnt eat the piece of corn on the cob he had chosen, because he had lost most of his teeth.
See, about a year earlier, Scotty was having alot of pain, he got to the point he could barely move.
Went to the doc to see if he had pulled a muscle in his back, only to be diagnosed with advanced cancer of the spine.
He, a once healthy road construction/steel worker, lost down to skin and bones.
He went thru painful surgeries and spent about 50 days straight in Markee Cancer Center at UK.
My best friend stayed by his side thru his illness, paying his bills, doing his banking and doing whatever business he wasnt able to attend to.
After alot of chemo and home health care and stem cell injections...he was in remission.
He and my friend began having relationship issues and broke up not long after I broke my foot. He went back and forth with her thru break ups with another man she was seeing and he kept going back, only to get hurt again. I always wanted to shake him and say "cant you see that you are going to be hurt again, walk away".
But I never felt like it was my place to get involved in my friends relationships.
Scotty, trying to get his strength back, was told to begin riding a bike and now he is in better health.
He rides almost daily and has gained alot of his muscle back.
He still has some weakness and has developed high blood sugar.
But he is out there, pushing, and it was good to see him and gave me courage and enlightenment.
I always think of him as one of my role models when I feel like giving up.
He always encourages me and tells me to keep going.
I sure hope his cancer never returns and he gets much healthier and finds a good companion to be with.
He loves photography and going into the mountains and loves traveling around the southern USA.
I was feeling the endorphins coursing thru my body after a good sweaty one hour walk.
But I drove away feeling even better than I had.
Because my foot is healing.
Scotty is healing.
And we are both still going.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Was feeling better today. Had planned to go for an evening walk, but as the evening wore on, I keep getting more and more congested. It seemed to be really breaking up this morning.
Well anyway, the coughing fits have all but ended. I have had the humidifier on in the living room and the vaporizer on in the bedroom.
Just trying to get some air, steam, something to help me breathe a little easier.
And yes I do plan to walk and walk soon!
It seems as if I have just put everything on hold, when in fact I really havent.
In fact as of right now today, i am on point with my calories and all other nutrients fell into line pretty well also.
Except the iron and fiber.
Keep on tweaking this til I figure it out.
And still taking supplements.
Other than that, I have very little to report. Havent "worked" all week, this is ridiculous,
One day I need you, the next day I dont and then not for a week....its crazy.
Very soon I am going to begin looking for something much more stable and steady.
But for now, I am drinking my oj and taking my mucinex and hoping the scale doesnt climb since I havent walked this week.
Just holding on by my fingernails, but still holding on and hanging in there.
For this moment in time, I am home alone and loving it.
I should have this peaceful solitude until around 10pm.
Nothing to do,
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
This whatever it is I have had, pneumoniabronchitisstrepthroatfluheadcoldi
I havent slept alot.
Last night was the worst, I went to bed, however, forgetting to take my Nyquil. And too tired to get up and take it.
So, I coughed most of the night thru.
But at least its beginning to break up and come up.
My head is still congested, this has been my biggest issue, since my throat stopped hurting beyond bearability.
I am just hoping tonight with a good nights sleep, fingers crossed, I will finally get it out and over it.
I have not walked since last week and I am so hoping this cold is soon behind me, so that I can walk, and breathe.
I sit and wonder about some people sometimes.
Me, hacking up a lung every twenty seconds, was asked today by a friend if I went walking.
And when I replied no, I got the sideways look.
Maybe I should have hacked in her face, no no, I take that back.
I wouldnt even wish this on my worst enemy.
Soon, it will be behind me and my feet will be back on the track.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
I am so sick!!
It is amazing how quickly some illnesses can come upon a person.
Woke up yesterday morning, feeling good, had some errands to run.
Around 1pm I started to notice my throat was a little scratchy and by about 5pm, i was full on sick as a dog!!
My throat is so raw, I feel like someone is holding a torch to it.
I cant stand to swallow and I feel so run down and tired and achy.
I went immediately to the drug store and got some vitamin c throat drops and have been taking prescription mucinex and drinking hot tea with honey and ginger.
But this morning I had to go to cold water with crushed ice chips.
I feel awful.
And I really really need to go grocery shopping. But I just dont know how I will be able to.
It feels like its getting worse instead of better.
If its still this bad come Monday, doctors office bound.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Just about too tired to blog tonight. Dont have any idea why I am so tired, maybe because I got very little sleep last night and got up early this mornng and have drove all day and then walked an hour?
But anyway, planning to get into bed soon as I have another early one tomorrow.
Hoping I sleep well.
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