SOFT_VAL67   80,849
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i really deserve my own self pity!!! i am at a loss, only not weight loss!!!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I am feeling very very let down and discouraged this morning. I am hurting in my left hip so bad and I dont know what is causing it, but, I know I didnt feel like walking this morning.
Where that pain came from, out of no where, I have no idea.
Unless its from getting up and down so much....see, this job I took on, or whatever its called, is sitting with two ladies, one has downs syndrome and the other is bedridden.
The younger woman, with ds, is ok, she can fix her own meals mostly, she does need help reaching the overhead microwave...but for the most part, she is ok to fend for herself.
But the elderly lady, has to have everything brought to her, and she needs help getting up and down to the potty chair, but for now, she is still able to do that. I expect soon she wont be able to, as the nurse came yesterday and said shes only getting worse and her dementia is progressing.
So, its just alot of running up and down the hallway, most of the time, she doesnt really want anything.
She just calls out all day, bring me coffee, bring me a phone, come in here honey....when I go in to check on her, mostly shes half asleep and only calling out in her mind...but sometimes shes calling out cause she really needs help and I have to run and check on her.
So, that is the JOB, just alot of running and sitting down, standing up, sitting down....has to be where the hip pain came in, cause before, I was ok.
I dont honestly know how long this job is going to last for me...I am going to really try to tough it out.
I havent lost a pound this week, despite being a mexican jumping bean!!!!
And so, my body is rebelling against me...yesterday I was all happy that I was able to squeeze in a walk in the morning, and then after about 40 minutes, my foot really began to ache and pains radiating up my hip.
What can I do...I have decided to take my dumbbells and stretch bands to work with me and squeeze in some upper body workouts in between running...they have a gazelle and an eliptical machine...I really am going to need the upper body strength.
But my biggest disappointment came this morning when I stepped on the scale, to see that not an ounce was lost.
I have no idea what else I can do to tweek things.
I am walking as much as I can, which lately isnt alot, but when I do, I deal with the foot pain...I have cut bread out this whole week, and I have been going for lean proteins and yogurt all week...what is going on with me??
Why am I still stuck in this bog of zero weight loss?????
someone help me???
I even cut my calories again on my nutrition page to see if that helps me stay in line, but I am eating so little now I dont know what else to cut out.
I sit here preplexed about the whole thing, because I was losing weight like crazy before this stupid foot decided to take a break, literally a break!!!
Will I ever lose this 84 pounds I want to lose??? will I ever lose the 14 lbs I need to lose to get back to where I was...will I ever even lose one more pound???
Stumped.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STONECOT 7/19/2013 7:39AM

    Our bodies have their own time table, and sometimes they don't coincide with ours. At the moment it's probably thinking, 'What IS she doing to me" Try to have patience and carry on exactly as you are now till your body adjusts. If you are in pain, that is probably causing water retention in those muscles, again your body will adjust as you get used to your new job, try not to give up too soon, after all, as you said, what else can you do. It will start to shift given time.

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A_BIT_AT_A_TIME 7/18/2013 8:50PM

    for me hip pain is always worse if i use the recumbant bike or anything that keeps my knees 'up' (ie not sitting reclined but sitting straight up in a hard chair) I hope your pain diminishes soon, with all this heat it can't be pleasant to have to deal with pain on top of everything else.



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MISSCUS 7/18/2013 12:12AM

    I read the comments, they said what I would've said!!! I especially like MOONSTREAM'S comments. I would also say, if you know you are doing all the right things, then a tape measure is probably to be your new best friend...
Hang in there!!! I sure hope your hip gets better too, usually sitting too much will cause hip pain, but it certainly doesn;t sound like you are sitting down a lot!!

PS: The elderly lady is quite typical with the dementia, bossy and constantly demanding and wants it all done for her and brought to her and won't or can't get up for long. I worked in nursing homes and also home health long enough. I can only hope I am not that way when the time comes. I pray I won't....

Comment edited on: 7/18/2013 12:17:27 AM

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CANDIK48 7/17/2013 3:51PM

    Not every day or week you get on the scale is going to be a positive experience. Our bodies change in many ways when we change our activity and eating styles. For one thing, muscle weighs more than fat, salt impacts water retention and eating a diet that is consistently too low in calories can result in your body refusing to let go of any reserves. I just broke a plateau that I was on for a little less than 2 weeks. Not long I know compared to how long others have fought it, but long enough to feel discouraged in small ways. The key is to keep pushing forward. Never quit on yourself! If you can't control the number on the scale, keep in mind you can control how you respond to it. Hold on to your resolve! You can do it, have faith! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/17/2013 3:52:24 PM

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LADYFROMTHEWOOD 7/16/2013 12:08PM

    Maybe the new nutrition tracker upgrade is for you? It could be a fresh thing to put in your goal again and it will give you the range you need for weight loss without exercise, then increase your range only on the days you put in the exercise you did. If what you are doing isn't working for ya, maybe try that. But you can't switch back, so what I did was make a new profile under a different email/username while I try it out. If I start seeing progress then I'll switch over. You could do the same. Maybe. Don't give up.

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MOONSTREAM 7/16/2013 10:15AM

    hmmm. try not to be too hard on yourself - that can only backfire. Hang in there. Put some ice on your sore spots and rest. treat yourself to a nice iced tea or whatever is fairly healthy and makes you feel happy. Try to increase protein at each meal & drink more water & eat less or no white (pasta, bread, rice, alcohol) & less or no cheese. (These are my old standbys). Maybe cut back intensity of your workouts - but if you can at least do a short walk or something to keep moving. Just keep sparking and find encouragement. I notice that when I'm in a positive mood - I maintain or lose but when I'm in a bad mood I gain - and this has less to do with my eating/ exercising. So keep your mood up by pampering yourself a little more.
And now I have to follow my own advise - lol
emoticon

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im still standing, on a sore foot, but....

Monday, July 15, 2013

My foot is aching. I was up and down all day yesterday and I guess keeping my shoe on all day made it swell a little, last night I wore my bone stimulator to bed and had a very very early morning.
After little to no sleep last night, I got up at 4 and got honey up for work, then I myself went to the walking track. I walked an hour and it felt good, but the foot began to ache and the last lap was a very slow one and very painful.
I guess I am going to have to wrap my ankle tight.
It wasnt in the area of the break that was hurting so, it was in the ankle in the back.
And then pain radiating up into my left hip.
I think its just that it has been so long since I walked, I mean really walked.
So, I bought some new earbuds and I already hate them. They are retractable, and the little pully keeps pulling up on me and I have to carry my phone in my hand and the little pully thing keeps bouncing against me when I walk.
It is very annoying.
I am a creature of habit and I guess its just something to get used to, or take them back and buy some different ones.
Although, these are purple and match my phone!!! lol....
So, tomorrow is weigh in day and I do not anticipate seeing too much of a change on the scale, I am just hoping for a loss or a stay. NO GAIN.
Maybe if the ankle lets up and I can walk once again, I will begin to see the numbers start going down again.
Havent I heard this somewhere before???
oh yea, of course, second verse, same as the first!!!
But I am trying. I am really really trying.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 7/15/2013 9:12PM

    I hope you see a loss. And that you can build up your walks to where you were before the injury.
emoticon emoticon

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it is again

Thursday, July 11, 2013

went over my calories big time today, well, about 600 calories, that is pretty big huh, but what put me over?
that dang nutella?
hmm, nooo, not today.
the two slices of bacon on my sandwich? or the fact that i had a sandwich for both lunch and dinner, which was way too much bread and the bag of baked lays chips. so, yes, it was a few different factors.
it was just a day where i made less wise, or very poor, choices than yesterday.
and on top of the extra calories, well, i didnt walk either, but keeping fingers crossed that the rain holds out in the morning so i can get an hour in before i go to this new job.
maybe it was a little bit of nerves about starting work that had me munching all day.
i dont know, but, i did it and its time to move on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 7/11/2013 9:22PM

    I've never tried nutella, and now I won't be trying it anytime soon.
emoticon on the new job.
Tomorrow is a new day emoticon

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just go, get out the door, dont hang around now, you're not welcome anymore!!!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Food, weight, bad thoughts, and Nutella......




Wishing the heat and rain would just take a chill pill!!!
I walked last night and was super surprised to see alot of people out walking, cause it was steamy hot, but I suppose others are like me, get it in when you can.
And maybe, like me, they are sick of the scale creeping up and maybe they ate a big fat cheeseburger and fries at the Hard Rock.
But I am feeling better today, yesterday was a good day, I might have gone over my calories aby about 200, its because the Nutella is sitting on the stove and every time I go by I grab a teaspoon!!!
So, today I put the nutella and peanut butter in the top shelf.
And I went to the store and bought some WW 100 calorie ice cream.
So, I am tweeking, making little changes and being more watchful.
Going to try to get that hot steamy humid walk in this evening, I only walked 40 minutes because my skin and hair was getting damp from the humidity, but, I will do what I can when I can.
Going now for my first visit to a possible new job, part time and maybe a little stressful, but I am going to give it a try for a week and see how it goes.
I am still looking, this job will be at someones home and I am really wanting something more in the evenings, which is when I tend to get into trouble, lol, so I am thinking if I am busy busy busy working evenings, I wont have time to pass thru the kitchen with a teaspoon!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL_31649731 7/10/2013 9:59PM

    Those little things add up. emoticon emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 7/10/2013 9:38PM

    emoticon

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CAPECODBABE 7/10/2013 5:09PM

    emoticon on the job emoticon

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JESUSLIGHTSMEUP 7/10/2013 3:05PM

  Those little tweeks here and there always lead to victory emoticon

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LIVERGIVER 7/10/2013 2:40PM

    I absolutely agree that the road to a healthy lifestyle is through one healthy change you can live with at a time. Way to go, and best wishes in your new job!

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BANDMOM2012 7/10/2013 1:06PM

    Nutella is the best :) Love the changes that you're making emoticon emoticon

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JACRBUNCH 7/10/2013 1:03PM

    Small changes are the best. Good luck with the job.

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ADAMUNDERHILL 7/10/2013 12:29PM

    Keep making those small changes! That is exactly what you need to do to be successful long term. Maybe add before you subtract. Keep it up!

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a circle must have a crack for us to get back inside

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

So....today was weigh in day...key music of doom!!!
Yes, indeed, I gained weight. I am not surprised, disappointed of course, in myself, in my choices.
I knew I had gained weight.
I have gained 13 pounds since sometime around March. Could be lack of walking, using the broken foot as an excuse, falling into depression and feeling sorry for myself and it could be lack of motivation to workout here at home. Could be adding lots of milk to my diet and it could be, eating foods that 5 months ago, I would not have touched with a ten foot pole.
But whatever it was, it is.
And so, it begins, or it is renewed. My weight loss plan that is.
So, today, with alot of figuring and really counting and really going over it with a fine tooth comb, I have devised a meal plan for today, and I have stuck to it, the only thing I feel I have eaten that could have been left alone, nutella.
No, it has no nutritional value for me. But I wanted something sweet and I havent really been shopping.
So, I need to go pick up some sweets, low fat, low cal of course, weight watchers, skinney cow ice cream, 20 calories, 60 calories, etc.
But other than that, I have done really good today.
Getting the walk in, getting the water in, and getting the fruits and veggies in.
I am angry with my recent decisions, recent choices to allow myself to slide and I know I cannot change them after the fact.
I accept it for what it is or was, momentary mess up!
But, now here we go, I went in and changed my goal, and right now the goal is to focus on losing the 13 lbs I have gained back and 1 more, to get me under where I was and get back on track.
Goal two, is to walk, as much and as often as possible and goal three, to really study this, study why I have fallen back into bad habits, to blog about it, to private journal about it, to really find what is going on and to work on those reasons.
And so, it is what is it, its new.
Its a mulligan its a do over its all old is new again, etc etc etc.
Today, I stuck to my plan and today I walk and today I blog and today I drank my water and today I am here. photo is...
Me and my finally, hopefully, fully healed foot at Myrtle Beach, SC.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 7/10/2013 6:58AM

    You sound like you are motivated, which is half the battle.
You accepted the gain, you have a plan, foot is better,
you are ready, now go girl!
And I love your new background!

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KLMEIRING 7/9/2013 5:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DWSCHUYLER 7/9/2013 5:28PM

    One day at a time! emoticon

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ICEANGEL0531 7/9/2013 5:25PM

    Way to go!

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