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the most dreaded day

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

today i went to the doctor to get the results of my mri, it is a torn miniscus, a torn tendon, however she said the mri showed it to be slight.
well, it hasnt felt slight i can tell you that.
today is the first day in nearly 2 weeks i left the house without my cane.
and would not have done that, had bill not been with me.
i go to the orthopedic surgeon on monday, to see what wild and crazy, painful procedure he has in store for me.
but i fear tomorrow is going to be an even more fearful and painful day.
it is the day i go back to my doctor that monitors my weight plan.
i last saw him on April 27th, and he called me a player, i thought he was referring to my love life, but he said he meant i knew how to play the weight loss game.
boy was he ever wrong.
i guess i just had a streak of good luck before i went to him, and its been all downhill since.
i havent lost any of the 6 to 8 lbs he recommended for me, and that was for 1 month, due to a death of a dear loved one, i had to reschedule my last appt and so now its been 7 weeks.
i have gained at least 3lbs back of what i had lost.
i havent walked since june 3rd.
and when i say walked, i dont mean, exercised walking, i mean, walked, well, i have hopped on one foot, hobbled, practically crawled or scooted at times...on crutches for the first week and then a cane.
i havent done much of any kind of exercise.
and i havent been counting calories like i should.
depression overtook me with this injury and dealing with grief of my lost loved one.
i am only human and if he doesnt understand this then i guess he isnt.
will let everyone know how it goes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUFFINSKI 6/17/2010 9:03AM

    Boy, have I been there! Stop beating yourself up! Heck, yeah, you are human and we all huve ups and downs. You have every right to mourn your loved ones passing, and then you will get back on the right track. I am behind you all the way!
I am so sorry to hear about your injury. Please care for yourself also! emoticon

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NANAGUY 6/16/2010 9:59PM

    Hang in there. Things will surely get better!


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UMUCGRAD 6/16/2010 8:20PM

    I hope that things will turn around for you soon!

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NFLDCOOPER 6/16/2010 7:56PM

    My condolences for your loss, first of all. Second, as for your injury, I can imagine how much pain that would be. Don't worry about exercising for now and just focus on keeping off your feet as much as possible and healing. You'll be back in shape in no time for sure. Good luck.

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this "thing" of ours...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

did anyone of you ever watch the sopranos?? one of my all time favorite shows.
did you ever see the gang refer to their careers in the, uh, organization, as "this thing of ours"???
i am pretty sure that is the term.
i was just thinking how it is, that most of us here feel more comfortable opening ourselves up on sparkpeople, to total strangers, than we would to our moms or sisters or spouses.
i guess, this is just my thoughts, that we can do this partially because most of the people you talk to on here, you arent ever going to meet.
but, in this case, i feel its because we have a kinship.
if i say to someone, i feel gross and fat and hate that i feel like a total failure because i had an extra piece of chicken at dinner, or i just didnt feel like working out today, so now i hate myself.
chances are, many many ppl will read it and go "ahhhh yea, i get it" have been there...
its our "thing".
we know.
i have a doctors appt on thursday, the doc i always dread going to.
i dont know why i get so freaked out by going there.
he is pretty laid back, but, he gave me a goal and i havent met it no where even close.
but, i am going to appeal to his understanding of the fact that i have lost 2 relatives and a very dear old friend since i last saw him, funerals and depression and traveling and stress.
also, the knee injury that has kept me off the walking track, the treadmill and the exercise bike for nearly 2 weeks....
i am hoping he will be understanding of the fact that i have barely been able to hobble from one room to the next.
so much has been going on, and i guess i could have tried harder, but i am just dreading it all the way around.

  


those old dark clouds

Friday, June 11, 2010

just a few minutes ago i was talking to a friend and telling her how nice it had been today...
how its only 2 weeks until vacation and we dont have any plans, and with my bum knee, i dont really think we will be making any.
and now, as i look out, i see it has gotten very dark.
i suppose the rains will be here soon.
my knee is somewhat better, it will feel better and then it will begin to hurt terribly, it is the worst when i lay down at night.
i really hope the rains come and go fast, as i dread that achy feeling i am sure to get.
i am walking without my crutches now, and the cane i use only for support.
i actually went out today to the dollar store...
but i still cant put any weight on it.
am hoping time will heal it and its not anything requiring surgery.
everyone have a nice weekend, i am sure i will be home taking it very easy and staying off my leg.

  


coke u old devil u

Thursday, June 10, 2010

im talking about coca cola here folks...
lately that old temptress has been on my back again
im like a junkie with this stuff
a cold can, its sooooooo good, that fizz....ahhhhh
rehab, no no no

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UHYEAHABOUTTHAT 6/12/2010 5:12PM

    There is absolutely nothing better than coca cola. I LOVE it. Diet doesn't cut it. I tried Coke Zero which was okay for a little... I've discovered the 7.5 oz cans of coke - 90 calories. They're the perfect little compromise for me. One can a day, if I were to have any at all.
I'm happy to see other people have the same feelings about Coca Cola!! :)

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SEIBLESS 6/10/2010 9:42PM

    I am also addicted to coke (a cola) and it is SO hard to resist the temptation. Especially when I just want something sweet and caffeinated. Everyone always tells me to switch to diet but its not the same and I HATE the way it tastes.

Good luck kicking the habit!

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KHEPERA08 6/10/2010 9:30PM

    Try slowly switching to Diet Cola
I used to love regular soda
Especially Coke!!!

But I tried diet soda and at first it was awful emoticon

But I kept trying it and eventually I got used to the taste and then I even Liked it. Never thought that would happen.

Now I hardly ever even drink diet soda anymore and never never never drink regular it is just to sickeningly sweet.

Try adding a dash of regular cherry coke to a full glass of diet. That might help you start to get going with switching to diet Soda.

Best Wishes!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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rain again, but so what

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

didnt do much of anything today, went down to the local pharmacy to see if they had any knee braces, they didnt.
looked online, but cant decide to order one or not..i mean if i do and in a few days my knee is better, i have a knee brace i cant use.
i have been cranky as all get out and eating like a fattening hog and cant seem to make myself understand that all the extra food is doing me no good, since i cannot exercise to burn it off.
sabatoge.
i want to just understand why set backs like this occur when things are going good.

  


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