Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Wow, what a day I had. I go to the doctor, my first time at this clinic, I was referred there by my doctor and told that they had faxed my MRI results in advance.
However, once I get there I am told I have to go to the office of my former neurologist and sign a release form and get my chart from them.
Keep in mind, it is pouring rain. So, I drive across town, sign for this and wait, 15 maybe 20 minutes.
Drive back, to be told they didnt have a copy of my MRI report and I have to wait for them to call medical records and get that.
Ok, I finally get called back and the Nurse Practitioner comes in, a male.
So, of course, the first thing out of his mouth, as expected, is about my weight.
I know the routine and I sit and listen and nod my head in agreement, but then things take a bizarre turn.....
He starts telling me he wants me to stop taking my blood pressure medicine and so on....he is going to wean me off of all this medicine I am on.
But, he wants me to start coming only to him and not my personal doctor anymore, what?
I am there to see him for back pain.
I say to him, I dont like the idea of not going back to my doctor, shes been my doctor awhile now, I prefer a woman doctor.
So, he asks me how often I get online, on the computer, I am thinking hes going to tell me how sitting at a desk can worsen back pain, as I know this is true.
But, he says, " You have to be careful a bout meeting people online, as some of them can be crazy, especially if you are meeting strange men" WHAT THE HELL.....?????
I say, yes I guess that is true, but I am not meeting any men online.
He says, "You are a beautiful woman, if you lose some weight, you can get a man".....WHATTTTTTT THE HELLLLLL!!!!!!!
I say, well I have a man, have been with him for nearly 15 years now.
He looked at me like wow, he couldnt believe I have a man.
I say to him, what does any of this have to do with treating my back pain? I thought later about several overweight men I saw in the waiting room, and I just wondered if he asked them about meeting women online, or about how if they lost some weight they could get a wife.
I just bet he didnt.
He says that I need to walk 2 miles a day everyday and he wants me to stop taking one of my medications and he wants to replace it with a narcotic and muscle relaxer.
I say no thank you to the muscle relaxer.
And, until I speak to my doctor I am not going to stop taking any of my other medications either.
So, he says to me "Dont you want pain pills for your back"......I sit there thinking, do I really want to come back here month after month?
Do I want to be lectured about and questioned about my personal/private business?
So, I say to him, no, I think I will just take my chart and go back to my own doctor.
And so, tomorrow I go back to her and cant wait to tell her about BIZARRO MAN.....
I decided along time ago, that I will never be spoken to in a condescending, hateful, rude tone by any doctor.
Especially a man.
I went to a doctor who was rude and just out and out mean some years back and one day I woke up and said, screw that.....
I dont need to be spoken to in that way by someone who is supposed to be helping me.
Who do these people think they are?
He thought because he was in a pain clinic, and because so many people come there for pain pills, that he could speak to me in that way....Maybe he delves into the personal private lives of women to see who he might hook up with????
Or, who will play his game for pain pills.
Well not me, I could really care less about that.
But I felt pretty down when I left that office, I just wanted to hurry and get out of there.
So many things ran thru my head later that I wish I had said.
I just hope none of you ever have to be talked to in such a way, but the weirdest thing about it was....he was one of those fake nice people. He spoke in a soft tone, in a caring tone, but his words were jabs....his stares and his attitude.
I am just glad I stood for my convictions and took my chart and left.
I could have said sure prescribe me the pain pills so my back wont hurt so much.
But I know they are only a temporary fix and he was right about me losing weight to help relieve my pain.
But its the way he said it.
Told me I would be in a nursing home in 5 years.
I should have shown him how a mad Ky woman could put him in a nursing home in 5 minutes!!!!!
I felt bad about myself for all of about 5 minutes, then once I got outside, I was just glad I wasnt crying or cussing....and I am glad I didnt know which car was his.
But I feel good now, knowing I didnt take his crap in exchange for a few pills.
I came home and rode my bike.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Today, was a much dreaded, and long worried about day. And it turned out ok. Not as great as I wish, but, better than it could have.
Hopefully its all behind us and we can move on.
Knock on wood.
I really dont feel like it was a bad day as for my calories.
I ate some things I shouldnt have.
Ok, behind me as well.
I dont know if I am coming down with a cold or its allergies or what.
I have had the sniffles all evening and I had to take some medicine.
Feeling pretty run down and tired.
I should be dancing a jig, having this stressful day behind me and all, But cant get into working out.
Maybe its ok to just take a day off. Maybe I will at least try to do my dumbbells later.
But most likely, I will sleep.
I have a ton to do this weekend.
Tearing carpet up from the living room, and I am so hoping honey has Sat off.
Will not cross my fingers too hard.
I am just looking forward to focusing on me.
Getting my calories under control, and planning my meals, journaling and workng out.
If we have nice days as we had today, I look forward to walking alot more.
Thanks to all who took the time to read.
Hope each of you have a nice weekend.
And take care of yourselves.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Today was the first day I have had all week that wasnt stressed filled.
I cooked a nice lunch and went with honey to buy a lottery ticket. Then home, watched Days of our Lives and cleaned house, worked out, a little while watching Survivor.
Now it is 10 pm, hopefully, the next hour will pass, I can go to bed, the phone wont ring.
Tomorrow I expect the stress to come back.
But hopefully, fingers crossed, knock on wood, the GOOD LORD willing and no rabbit tricks, it will all be over by 3pm and hopefully life can get back to some sense of normalcy.
This has to.
I have to make it.
I cant keep letting other peoples issues overwhelm me and consume my life.
Even if that person is my own child.
He is MY CHILD, but he isnt A child, he is 26 years old and its time for him to look life square in the face and stand alone while doing so.
I hope I can stick to my convictions.
I also hope all of you had a good day and have an even better day tomorrow.
Thanks for reading my vent.
Good night to all.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Stress much? It seems I have alot lately. Letting go of something, or in this case someone.
No, no relationship is ending, or anyone dying. I am having to learn to let go of my CHILD. I dont mean so much that he is leaving my life. But that the mother in me, has to learn to let him grow up. Or, in this case, pretty much make him.
He really has to go on with his own life.
I have to stand back and stay quiet and watch him make mistakes, and hope he can work it out. FOR HIMSELF!!
Other than all of that, my day was so so. I rode my bike, did my air stepping. I havent lifted weights yet, but I probably will sometime tonight.
Do you follow that old addage, that working out at night isnt good for sleep?
I dont really have a big problem sleeping, no matter what I do at night.
But I did last night, the wind here was super scary.
I sat up late just listening to it.
I did oooooo kkkkkk??? question mark....today!
No fast food. I had chicken and pasta salad for lunch but I did have a hot dog.
I am just bored to death.
There is never anything to do around here. Clean house. Watch tv, or FACEBOOK.....
and be bored.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I received my air stepper today. I got on, once it was ready to go, and started stepping, I thought, wow, this was a big waste of money. How can I possibly get any kind of work out on this contraption?
But, after about 3, maybe 4 minutes, I really began to feel it in my legs.
It came with two instructional dvds, with different workouts to follow. And a set of stretch bands, that you can place underneath it and use while stepping.
It probably isnt the same as a real stair climbing machine.....but, it seems to be what was advertised.
I look forward to using it more.
I had to create a new email address today, as my yahoo address, and well, all of yahoo has been giving me problems.
I couldnt even read a news story on yahoo, it would click off and give me a message, from blue lithium, saying internet connection lost and directed me to an ad.
maybe, but I seem to have remedied the problem, for now.
My back is hurting tonight, so I am taking it kind of easy.
Going to watch my favorite "mindless tv programming"...Jersey Shore, and relax tonight.
Good luck to everyone.
Keep in touch!!!!
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