Sunday, November 25, 2012
For some reason, that I havent figured out just yet, I cannot add a blog from my laptop.
Unless it sees it as a popup.
So, here I am a little late for this blog.
I went for my walk, on what is now Saturday and even though it was cold, I was really getting to enjoy it and starting to warm up.
After about 35 minutes only, I had to stop as the smoke in the air was so bad, I was beginning to choke.
Wood smoke from fireplaces around the area, but mostly it was one local business burning, I dont know what in their parking lot.
I just couldnt deal with it.
So, now with smoke in the air and cold weather, I guess I will be doing alot more indoor workouts and riding my bike more.
There is a walking track at the local high school, which I am sure isnt located too close to any homes or businesses.
But it is another 10 miles away at least.
So, I spent the evening Saturday cleaning my house, I cannot understand where all the clothes come from.
I havent done any shopping in forever and I bagged up a whole bag of clothes, not counting the clothes I had bagged up and gave away around a month ago.
And they arent just mine.
So that was my day.
Maybe Sunday the smoke will clear, the temps will go up a little and I can enjoy my walk.
Friday, November 23, 2012
In the grand scheme of thing, yesterday's Thanksgiving Day, was one of the worst freakin day of my life!!!!
It ranks right up there with the day my dog died.
I am just sick of other people.
I would rather not spend one more minute of my life wasting on pretending to like people or pretending to give a crap about what they are saying to me or what they are asking me.
I would rather be left alone.
I didnt need yesterday.
Oh well, life goes on, for some. A very very important person in my life lost his dad yesterday.
He had been battling cancer for a long time and had been in and out of the hospital for the last two months.
It was just a bad day.
Today wasnt that much better....maybe just a little.
I have blogged about how much I despise this colder weather...well, my hatred is growing ever more, as tonight we are supposed to be seeing flurries and temps will be dropping near the teens the next few nights.
and on top of everything else, the NEW laptop I bought 9 days ago is already screwed up and I had to call tech support today and they told me to do a reset, since I hadnt added any important files or pics or programs.
I havent even tried it, if I get on in the morning to the same problem, its going back to the store.
Life is not a box of chocolates, its more like a big bowl of stinking rotting leftover rotten eggs!!!!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
my dad just called to see if we were coming to eat, he asked me if i was cooking, i told him i broke my own rule of no cooking and made my son some deviled eggs
but that is all
the things we do for our children, be they little or full grown adults!!!
im going to the walking track in a bit
added some cool new tunes to my music and going to try to add an extra 10 or 20 minutes to my cardio today
honey goes back to work tomorrow night and i will have the house to myself for the next 4 nights and i am going to start amping up my toning workouts
really focusing on core and my mid section
if anyone has any great suggestions for abdominal workouts????
i was feeling a little down this morning, went back and reread last years thanksgiving status on fb and seen that i was talking about my little dog wanting turkey from the table
now hes gone, tomorrow will be 10 months since he died
and i miss him so
have been considering getting another little dog, but i am just not ready or maybe willing to commit to the responsiblites....i dont stay home that much now.
so everyone have a great thanksgiving....try to meditate, NOT MEDICATE thru the dysfunction and stress, if there is any....
and try, like i will be, to stay on the course.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
was a pretty good day, went to the doc, and my cholesterol numbers were good
186 and 55
my bp was up
but, my weight was down 54 pounds since may 24, i go back to her on feb 20th, and i am hoping to lose at least 20 more pounds by then, maybe even 25, but i aint putting the cart before the horse
i am just happy i got to walk today and feel good....
wishing everyone a healthy happy thanksgiving, remember no one is forcing those yams and marshmellows on you
no one is making you take that third roll off the plate
no one is telling you that you cant or shouldnt exercise because its a holiday
just stick to your plan and if you slip a little bit dont beat yourself up all week
Saturday, November 17, 2012
"""I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters"""...Metallica
I was walking today, and this song came on my playlist, and I never had really listened to it as intently as I did today.
When I walk, the music I hear plays a big role in my mood for the day, somedays, and lately it seems to be more dark, brooding, intense focusing music.
To dig down deep into my psyche and soul and search for what it is I need to release.
But today this song came on, and all the thoughts running thru my head, about life, about bad feelings, whatever it was....drifted up and out of me and away, floated up into the atmosphere, and I really heard this song.
The reason I was walking, the reason I always walk, the reason I have walked every day and the reason I eat healthy now and try to keep my mind focused on this Spark Life, is FOR ME, AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.
I am doing this, healthy living, changes, to prolong my life, to be healthy, to lose weight, to try to live a better life than I did for the first 44 years of my life.
The future, and nothing else matters.
I am not doing it for anyone, although, I do want to be around for my son, and maybe when he ever gets married and has kids, for that family too.
I want to be able to grow old, and do it a little more healthy than I might have before.
And nothing else matters.
People who come and go from our lives, the ones who go, let them if they must.
Dont try to hold them.
They have their reasons for needing to go.
The jobs we lose, the friends who move on, the relationships that mold us, for good or for bad.
The memories, both good and bad, the ones we long to dream about and the ones we dread to even think about.
They will be with us thru time, if our minds stay sharpe. Nothing we can do about that.
Learn from the mistake and choose your battles.
Today, I decided, that I am the most important thing, my weight loss, my health, my good feelings and thoughts and the people I love, who also love me.
And nothing else matters.
Today, I was just really thinking about my son and the words they use in NA, JUST FOR TODAY.
Because I have been so focused on next Wed and my docs appt and hoping the scale will be where I want it to be.
But after hearing that song and deciding, right now, this walk, this hour, on the walking track, burning calories and soaking up the sun and listening to music and thinking and letting go of bad feelings and holding on to the good ones....that moment, was all that mattered.
I will get thru this day and I will have it made.
Then tomorrow, I will do it all over again.
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