Saturday, October 20, 2012
Sometimes I need a reality check. Probably more often than not...so, there is this one song I play when I feel life is spiraling out of control, or when I just need a slap back to reality.
Or when I just want to be reminded, that we are all human and make mistakes and learn, hopefully, and move on.
Today I got on the scale again, not my regular weigh in day. I know, I am getting back into that bad habit of weighing too often, but this week its been for good reason.
That wall I had hit, is beginning to slowly crumble.
It took three weeks, but I am finally beginning to lose weight again.
I have lost 5 pounds. Today when I got on the scale I seen a number that a month ago, four months ago, seemed impossible to achieve!!
I never dreamed when I first gave up soda and began walking daily, and adding weights, and gave up junk food and began really sparking and journaling my food, that I would reach this number.
I am no where close to where I want to be, but its just beyond the horizon, I can see the forrest thru the trees now.
Nothing is impossible to achieve, look at the dude who jumped from outerspace last week!!!!
I know that I have a long road ahead, and I plan on walking that road daily, learning the scenery, and figureing out new paths!!!
Methaphors....but this is real now.
So, I have been asking myself when I am going to share my number. I read a friends blog recently on this subject and I think its silly that I say to myself, "wait til you lose a little more".....of course, when I share how much I have lost, everyone, who can do math that is, will be able to figure out how much I weighed to begin.
So, I am still a number sharing virgin!!!
I guess I will be ready to admit it soon enough....if the scale keeps going in the RIGHT direction that is.
I got to thinking about my blog about not losing inches and sizes quickly enough.
I went out to lunch with my mom, son and sister yesterday....(plans for my friends bday lunch got postponed, will blog on that later)....and we also did a little shopping.
All day my pants were so baggy.
Here is the thing, my pants are lose in the butt, and around the upper thigh area, so I know that I am losing, but in the waist they are still about the same.
I can wear a smaller shirt size, and fitted shirts, however, my tummy is still there and there and here and a little over here too.
So, no matter how well they fit, and make me look thinner in the waist and chest, cause they arent loose and baggy shirts, they still fit snugly around my stomach.
This damn stomach. The pain in my side!!!
Guess I will just keep doing my best and work it and accept what I cant change.
Hoping everyone has a great weekend.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Tomorrow is one of my best and most valued friends birthday. And I have invited him out to lunch, at a pizza place and I am going to buy him a Reese milkshake and cupcakes!!! And I am going to sit there, probably a little envious, and maybe a little sickened, and watch him eat them....and pizza.
While I have my salad and water and will be very happy. Cause getting to spend an hour over lunch with him is plenty of enough treat for me.
He has been thru so much this last year and just being able to take his mind off that issue for an hour will make me feel like I have given him a great birthday gift.
Today, I got on the scale, for a little midweek torture and wasnt at all tortured, but a smile crept across my lips.
Another pound gone and I am happy.
My goal for October was to lose 9 lbs and so far I have lost 5, with 2 weeks left, I just might make it.
I got in my walk, late today, but it was so windy out, the weather man told me it was gonna rain early this morning, but he was wrong.
So, I had gone back to bed and slept late til nearly 9am....of course, once again, I didnt lay back down til nearly 7...waiting to see if the wind let up.
But got that walk in and feeling great, back is hurting a little.
I gotta watch this week, with the birthday lunch and a baby shower coming up on Sunday.
I gotta keep myself in check.
I have had a minor issue with a skin problem....it seems that on my right side, up under where my bra band lays, I have begun to get a rubbing friction rash??? Maybe not even a rash, more like just where the band rubs, and leaves redness and pain, I mean literally I was in so much pain from it the other evening I thought I would die.
I use moleskin, but cant do that as it pulls off the top layer of skin, and so bandaids, the water proof big bandaids is my only relief.
I am going to discuss this with my doctor if it continues, but I am sure short of offering me some kind of cream or something and telling me not to walk til its cleared up, not much she can do.
The redness and pain are gone, but I am left scarred.
And not only from that, I have a scar on my side from where my pedometer laid to deeply and I didnt even feel it when I was walking.
Between that and my feet....sometimes I sit and wonder why it is that trying to get fit and lose weight and get healthy exercise can be so problematic.
Wow, I wish I had started this plan of action about 50 or 75 pounds ago.
But people say to me, wow you look so good, you can tell you've lost weight, etc, but when am I going to start really seeing it??????
I mean 42pounds ppl and I am not seeing much. My tummy and my body does feel smaller to some extend, I can walk up a hill or stairs now without falling over from lack of air.
I am down ONE pant size, ONE shirt size and ONE bra size.....
ONE....after 42 pounds!!!!
I mean come on when are the inches going to fall off ???
Toning and strength workouts dont seem to be really brining the inches off, someone said maybe all I have lost is water weight, damn that is like alot of water!!!!
Just hoping to start really seeing some changes soon.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
I havent blogged in a few days. Guess sometimes in life we just get busy doing other things. This week I have been really trying to increase my calorie burn. Increasing my cardio intensity and now its time to start also focusing on increasing my strength workouts.
I intend weekly to work harder, the last couple of weeks, with stress issues, I guess I let things slide a little.
Found myself drinking a little beer Saturday night, something I had sworn off the last time I drank a little beer.
I have not been a drinker of beer or other spirits to speak of in years...here and there, a cocktail with dinner, etc.
It seems just in the time I have really been focusing on losing weight and eating healthier and exercising, I seem to drink more, not a problem so far, just an issue that I cant figure out how this came about.
I was speaking this morning to a non drinking friend and asked him if he knew why I might be more prone to drinking now, he said in his opinion, maybe I am substituting.
I have thought alot about that, I watched an episode of Oprah a few years back about people who have had WLS....(not that I have but)....it was all about how they exchange other bad habits for their eating habits.
Once they can no longer use food, they begin to use other things, drinking, drugs, gambling, sex, stealing, cheating....etc.
I have a few friends like this, one drinks too much the other shops too much and wants to constantly travel.
I dont know if this is my problem, but, my friend told me maybe I should just be very watchful of the places I go and the people I hang out with the next few weeks just to see if it is an issue.
Or if it is just a coincidence that I happen to be going places where alcohol is served.
But I off it for now.
Not that I was ON it, I dont want to sound like a raging alcoholic, it was more like 4 times heavy beer drinking in the last 2 months...a rock concert, a bar concert, a coalminng rally and once just hanging out with my best friend at her house.
But its time to put it behind me and move on, walk on.
I lost another 2 lbs.
I am officially down 42 lbs since May.
I feel pretty good, I measured myself this morning and the inches just arent there....most inches I lost was in the stomach....hips, bust, all pretty much an inch or two at best.
I cant figure out how I am losing this much weight and yet not dropping these inches.
Maybe I am just not measuring right.
But this is something I am going to keep a watch on as well.
Have had a good week so far.
The stressors I thought I had in my life, were just more or less learning experiences, and I am happy.
I have good friends, and waiting the results of my sons dna test to see if hes a baby daddy to a 16 month old little girl.
She is beautiful and she does actually look a little like him. But I havent ever met her in person and I am just waiting to see what the outcome is.
I sure hope if she is his, that I will be allowed to be a part of her life and see her and spend time with her.
So, this is what is going on with me.
Have a nice day.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Got on the walking track today, cold and shivery, but I was there. The walking pants I bought were just way too long and cumbersome, so they will be taken back, if it has to be sweats, then I am searching for a pair of mens with no elastic in the bottom of the leg.
And until then, I guess when its not too cold I will wear my capri and when it is, my jeans.
I hate walking in jeans!!!
And today I have eaten....and eaten and eaten.
I know I went over my calories by a long long mile. But, I cant unring a bell....just dont know what was up with me....
But the weather is supposed to take a turn back toward the warm and so I will be walking tomorrow and maybe I can get it all back under control.
I didnt necessarily eat anything too calorie heavy...but I did just overeat today.
And no it isnt emotional, I am doing just fine...the little problem I had blogged about has been resolved, the friendship is not on solid ground, but is on alot sturdier ground.
Maybe it was boredom, I had absolutely nothing at all to do this evening.
I did dishes and laundry and then pretty much set staring off into the great horizon, thinking, meditation maybe....but still bored.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
It was so so cold this morning, I stayed under the covers for an extra hour. That was really good since I had gone to bed around 10pm last night.
Just couldnt stay awake, and so I got my 8 or 9 hours.
Besides, I know it was around 30 this morning.
I am dreading the colder mornings, having gotten in the habit of going to the track around 7am, its going to be alot harder to drag myself up and out into the early cold mornings.... I didnt go to the walking track til about 1030, then I went back with my friend and walked almost an hour this evening.
So, got that done.
Have stuck out the calories, got my water, got my rest, got my walk and had a nice day today.
Life is good and I am happy, today.
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