Thursday, March 06, 2014
Decided to blog early today. I have to be accountable for my actions and so it begins today.
I hadnt been paying close attention to the scale lately.
I knew I had gained weight, have been gaining weight back!!
Tuesday is my usual weigh in day, but I skipped it.
For some reason I decided to get on the scale today. It wasnt terrible, but it wasnt good!
So as I am standing there on the scale, I say to myself, whatever was was and whatever is going to be STARTS TODAY!!!
No more do I want to dread getting on the scale, or dread trying to find something to wear when I have to go someplace. I sold all of my "fat" clothes last year and now, I am finding my new clothes are getting more stretched out as I try to squeeze the 16 lbs I have gained into them.
I was living pretty well with the fact I had gained some of my weight back.
I had the excuse of my broken foot all last year to use. couldnt walk as I had been, low vitamin d.
So that weight gain, I was living with, but I have gained an additional 5 lbs since I seen my doctor on Feb. 12th, that is less than a month I have gained 5 lbs!!!
At that rate, all my hard work and all the pounds I lost in 2012 will be erased and forgotten and I am not even about to let that happen.
I still remember the hard work, getting out of my warm bed at 6 am to go walk an hour, or two, going back in the evening, hot sun beaming down, sweat pouring.
The feeling of joy every time I got on the scale to see another 1 or 2 or 3 lb loss!!!!
I even recall what I was eating and what I wasnt.
I know I cant go back and change it, but I can start today.
No more comparing how much I weighed a year ago, or a month ago. It has to start today, from here.
So, I did some weights, dumbbells and the stair stepper. I would go walking, but I cannot breathe. One minute my head is all but closed off and the next I am dripping and draining, and wondered if people would find it strange to see a woman with a tissue sticking out of her right nostril.
So, I plan to stay inside today, and nurse this """whatever it is""".
But back to the weight.
Accountability, I have been putting off facing the truth of my weight gain and living in the past glory of my weight loss for too long.
If I do not make the necessary changes now, I am going to be too far gone to ever say I lost a very large amount of weight, the gap is closing in.
I start today.
I have to be honest with myself first, and I havent been wathcing what I eat. Not so much as I did before. I have been snacking more. It does me no good to buy lowfat, low cal snacks, like the weight watchers 2 point red velvet cakes, when I end up eating 3 at one time.
That is accountability.
I have been eating junk. I still only drink water, skim milk and coffee, but what good does it to to drink coffee when I add two spoonfuls of sweet creamer!!!
All these little things are adding up.
To more calories, more sugar, more carbs, more fat, and more pounds.
I did set a weight goal and a deadline. Just to revamp my plan and get back on track.
Nothing long term, and no great expectations. As some of you may know, my son is coming up on having 3 years clean thru the NA program, he is very active in NA and thru him I have done alot of reading about it. They follow the creed, JUST FOR TODAY. now while I have set some goals, to lose some weight, I cannot do anything more than get thru each day, one day at a time, that is what I am going to do, each day, one day, til it adds up.
Just a simple 2 lb a week til I lose 16 pounds.
And I do not sit here with a big dumb grin on my face thinking I have it all figured out and I will actually lose 16 pounds in 2 months.
But I do sit here with a satisified look and a feeling inside that I know that while I might not make that particular goal, I will make it, eventually.
I am saying this, putting it in writing, holding myself accountable for my most recent down turn and its all on me.
Now its time to get back into the right frame of mind, and meet those overall goals.
Weight loss, good mental, physical and emotional health.
I start today.
Wednesday, March 05, 2014
Snuffy 1 and Snuffy 2.
That is what I was calling myself and my sons g/f's little girl today.
I had to give her mom a ride to the doctor and she and I spent the day doing some errands, went to get breakfast, etc.
But mostly, we sat in the car waiting on her mom, and sniffing, snuffing, snorting and snotting!!!
And a little coughing on the side.
I didnt feel that bad this morning. I think it was being in the car with the heat on high dried me out and made me feel much worse.
When I left to go pick them up, I did not think I would be going anywhere.
The snow on my window, turned out to be packed down hard as a brick, icy and frozen to my car windows.
Even with scraping, it took a very long time to get it thawed out.
So, after I came home, I felt just how bad I felt.
I couldnt breath thru my nose.
I have no vaporizer.....because I loaned it to them for the little sick child.
So, I fashioned one out of a facial steamer.
Can only use it for a few minutes at a time, but it works for that long.
I despise taking Nyquil and those types of medications, as they only seem to make me drunk and jittery.
I do not sleep on Nyquil.
I twitch, I toss, I turn, I jump and I jerk all thru the night.
So, I have been taking prescription mucinex and Alka Seltzer for colds.
If I could just open my nostrils up, I think I would feel better.
No real body aches, and the sore throat is gone.
So for the moment, its just my breathing.
Not much to report on diet and exercise today. I spent the biggest part of the day in the car waiting.
And came home and had a burger for supper with some mushrooms and milk.
Eating isnt easy when you cant breathe thru your nose.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Does anyone ever really realize just how much we struggle? I do. Every single morning of my life, when I wake up, and go to the kitchen for my morning coffee, or orange juice, or even water. I am aware of the fact that I have gained weight. I look at my kitchen and I remember the foods I ate the day before and I tell myself, today will be better.
I recall the whole year of 2012 when I was in losing mode, losing 70 lbs from May to January.
Then it stopped.
Then I gained.
I used the excuse of a broken foot for awhile, because I couldnt walk, of course I had my recumbant bike, which I loved at one time, and then grew to hate.
Which I sold.
I have the weather as my excuse right now.
We suffered thru yet another blast of cold, rain, sleet turned to ice, it poured ice from the sky for hours.
It was the oddest thing to watch, it was like rain, only heavier and slower, I watched from my front porch for about 15 minutes til it got too cold.
Then the snow came on top of that.
We must have gotten 5 inches on top of the ice and the county called the roads to be shut for emergencies only.
Didnt stop people from getting on them.
I stayed inside.
I have been sick again.
My immune system must be weaker or I am just feeling the effects of too much heat and dry air.
Whenever I get sick it begins as a sore throat and within 2 days develops into a full blown head cold.
So far its just my throat.
I am on day 3 of the worst sore throat I have felt in years.
I cant take Nyquil or any of those tussins or anything like that, as it makes me jerk and jittery.
People say take Nyquil you will sleep. No, not me. I have just been taking alka seltzer for colds and drinking hot tea.
I hope it passes soon.
I have walked when the sun is out and produces some heat.
But have decided to start some at home workouts to get my butt back in gear.
As for the kitchen and the memories of the food I ate the day before, that is for me a never ending battle.
As each and every single day of my life, I start out good, eating healthy thru the early hours and by late evening I have eaten over my calories and usually end up having some sweet snack, ice cream the last few days, to help soothe the sore throat dont ya know!!!
I really need to get back into that mind frame I was in during 2012.
I never snacked, I ate high protein, yogurt, turkey, cottage cheese, eggs, beans.
I never ate carbs or breads, except a wheat sub from subway about once a week.
I know how.
I know what.
I just need to figure out when.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Are not as many as they once were.
Right now, my biggest excuse is the wind. The collllldddddd collldddd wind.
I can tolerate a light rain, I can tolerate the heat, I can tolerate the chill, but I just cant tolerate the wind.
Even covering my head and ears with a boggan or a band, I cant do it.
So I have been seriously considering getting a treadmill. Despite my despise!!
I had one, and a few years ago, the belt began to wobble, so Honey, in his best Bob Vila or more like (Tim the Toolman Taylor) voice, says he can fix it.
Despite the instructions telling not to tighten the belt while the belt was moving, he did so, and the belt slowly began to shred down one side.
I could still walk on it, but it would lunge, I would be walking and suddenly it would slow to the point I could never feel comfortable to get a good walk going,
So I gave it away, I know it wouldnt have costed much to have the belt totally replaced, but by that time I had discovered my love of outdoor walking and thought I would never want to walk on another treadmill again.
And I really dont, but something has to give.
The wind seems to taunt me, I will look outside and see sunshine, open the front door and be hit full in my face with a bitter cold wind.
I know I need to be patient, I know warm, and even hot days are only weeks away.
I am doing pretty fair as far as my counting calories, carbs, fat, etc goes.
Have been upping my protein again and trying to get some cardio just around the house.
I walk when I can.
Which seriously, since the first of the year, I think I have tracked maybe 5 or 6 days only.
If we havent been under a foot of snow, we have been under ice, or rain, or freezing rain, or wind so bitter cold and today it is around 15 mph.
I look ahead to the days forecast to see where not only the temp reads, but the mph of the wind and the chill factor.
I will keep an update of the treadmill decision.
Today I have been trying to catch up on some much needed housework, the sun is shining so bright but the wind will not allow me to even attempt to walk.
So, instead, I have cleared out a corner of the spare bedroom, and have stacked up all the stuff I am going to try to sell or give away.
And I have cleaned out my hallway.
My back is absolutely killing me, and I know new bra shopping is in my very near future.
I really need to find an exercise plan that helps me focus on back issues.
So, back to my housework.
And a nice spinach and tuna salad, with apples, grapes, oranges, and cottage cheese for dinner.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
I really did go to bed early last night. As soon as the Voice went off, I went to bed, and woke up at 2am.
This is the way it goes.
So maybe I will lay back down soon. Hoping the sleepiness comes back around.
I finally got some walking in this week, Sunday for about 40 mins and Monday for an hour.
The foot was really bothering me Monday night, I had switched back to my older shoes and put my ortho inserts in them.
My walk went well, no pain, til the end, then I felt some sharpness in the foot.
Just hoping its from lack of walking and not anything to worry about.
I sure do hope the weather improves soon for more walking days.
Yesterday I was exhausted, I dont know why, I spent the whole day in the salon chair.
Then picked up a few items at the store, came home, ate some Subway and didnt do another thing til bedtime.
Here I sit, shopping online for some type of doggie play pen.
My puppy is so mean and wild and tears everything in the house up, her favorite seems to be shoelace ends and almost anything plastic.
Fly swats. Paper of any kind, but especially paper towels. The living room is NEVER clean, no matter how much I pick up, she drags something back out.
And her new favorite thing is jumping up on the couch. And crawling up on my chest and just standing there.
I hate leaving her in the crate for so long when I go anywhere, yesterday she was in there for at least 5 hours.
But if I dont, she will have the house destroyed before I get home, I have baby gates up to keep her from going anywhere but the living room and kitchen.
But I am thinking the doggie play pen will allow her a little more freedom to move around while not being so confined in her crate.
Now the problem is, finding a place in the house to set it up.
We are currently under a winter storm warning.
So far I havent seen any. and sure hope that I dont.
Yesterday was a kind of an off day for me, I ate a butterfinger in the car driving home from the beauty shop.
I guess that will teach me to skip breakfast, especially when I know I am going to be unable to eat for several hours.
It was 3pm before I had a chance to eat anything, and so you see, I went straight for the junk.
Then I bought a sub at Subway, came home and ate that, then I had a skinney cow ice cream and several glasses of milk.
That was the extent of my nutrition yesterday.
But my hair looks pretty good.
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