SOFT_VAL67   84,558
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day one of the no sun too wet to walk drizzly dark miserable yet oddly optimistic winter.

Monday, November 17, 2014

I have decided to try try try and then try some more to be optimistic and not allow nasty bad thoughts to consume me this winter.
As the days are going to be long and boring and cold and wet and I know my days of walking will be fewer and farther between.
Saturday I babysat and it was just way too cold to have a little one outdoors, so no walk,
Yesterday I did make it to the track, but only for about 25 minutes before the rain set in, light sprinkles at first, I pushed on another 3 or 4 laps before the track and myself began to get too wet for comfort.
Today I have done weight workout and am getting ready to do an afternoon rep on the ellipitcal.
Have stayed out of the kitchen, with the exception of a good omelet with spinach and tomatoes for breakfast.
I cannot even believe it is ONLY 1135 am and the rest of the day to go.
There is only so much house work one can do and watching Netflix or tv.
I cannot sit still.
I do not have to run unless I know I cannot run and then I want to leave this house more than anything.
I am hoping to catch up on some reading and maybe sleep if nothing else.
I do not want to become a lazy slug this winter and I know that sitting around will draw the sleepies and then I will do nothing.
I may even do another workout later in the afternoon.
Wed and Thursday they say the rain will let up so maybe a walk each day will be possible.

What I really need to focus on is my stomach.
Doing leg raises this morning, i noticed how much I really need to start toning the tummy.
I have trouble getting down in the floor due to my knee, it doesnt seem to want to let me back I need to focus on some type of tummy toning that involves standing.
Any suggestions are welcomed.
So it begins, the long winter of my discontent and while trying to remain positive, I can see the darkness blocking out the sun.
Still I try.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 11/17/2014 6:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
We have had rain all day here, at least it's still in the 60s.

Looks like you have a positive attitude, and that's half the battle!

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GORDON66 11/17/2014 2:26PM

  You can sit on the edge of your bed with your feet on the floor. Lay back with your arms crossed over your chest and use your abdominals to sit up. While on your back, push your lower back down to engage your abs. Fun stuff!!! You can also do standing push ups at your kitchen counter. To keep your body in a straight line, you have to use your stomach muscles. If you have a stability ball, you can do sit ups on it too.



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optimistic with cold fingers

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Seen the doctor yesterday and had my vitamin d checked. along with cholesterol and some others.
Should have my results tomorrow.
My weight was about what I thought it would be.
Disappointed that it wasnt less but it is ok.
The winter has finally arrived and today it was bitter cold.
I went to the track to walk and my fingers froze thru my mittens. I walked about 20 minutes until I could no longer feel them and decided to warm up in my car with the heater on.
So, I guess aside from the possible warm day here and there, it is time to face facts winter is here.
Buy warmer gloves, boggan and walking pants that come down to the ankles!!!
But as long as the roads are clear and the track isnt slick, I will try to walk as much as I can.
But I have gotten my stair stepper out of mothballs and have my stretch bands and weights handy.
I cannot and will not allow myself to use the cold weather to keep me down.
I have been suffering this SAD depression and I know that I have to make sure to get my sleep, take my vitamins, eat healthy and exercise.
Hopefully this winter wont be as bad nor as long as the last one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORDON66 11/14/2014 9:16AM

  Stay warm!!!



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sunshine and soul shine

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Today has been a much nicer better day. I knew it was going to be warm and sunny out today for possibly the last time this year.
So, I woke up early, showered, fixed myself some coffee and a nice omelet with fresh mushrooms and spinach and sliced up turkey breast.
I went to the park around 930 and it was still a little chilly and windy and overcast out.
So, I sat in my car awhile catching up with friends on social media and then I decided to walk.
I just couldnt seem to get into it.
I was feeling good, but just wasnt feeling the walk.
I have a new phone, a windows phone and I cannot get my music to play on shuffle or random.
All it does it play the same song over and over, or, I have to stop and start it over and then it plays in alphabetical order and I hate that.
I was having so much trouble getting my music going that I was losing my walking mojo.
But I finally got into and walked an hour.
Then I drove around awhile, the sun was out and it was getting warmer and warmer out.
I drove to the store and bought an orange and a bottle of water and sat in the park and enjoyed my little snack.
I then walked some more.
Altogether I guess I logged about 90 minutes.
Never did figure out how to shuffle my music!!!
The sun was beaming and I can tell I got some much needed sun today, my hair is even lighter.
I must have been at the park a total of 5 hours altogether.
And I loved it.
It was so relaxing there. No dreaded thoughts of the upcoming rain and colder temps that will arrive by late tonight.
Or, the fact that tomorrow is doctor day.
Weigh in and vitamin d check, along with cholesterol and A1C.
So, I am not looking forward to the colder days but I really enjoyed today and since I cannot have coffee in the morning before my blood tests, I hope I can sleep early tonight.
I really enjoyed my day and hope I can figure that dang music out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORDON66 11/11/2014 10:22PM

  I'm delighted you had a wonderful day!!!!!! As for your music, find a 10-year-old kid to figure it out for you. emoticon

Take care!!!



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the bad horrible sucky awful dumps

Thursday, November 06, 2014

dealing with depression today. i walked an extra half hour, the sun was out, but it was very windy and the track was very wet and slick, so i compromised and walked around town.
the seaon changing, the rain, the earlier darkness, my son moving away, friends who turn out not to be, my eating bad food choices, and just an overall feeling of being a failure in life.
watching my son get this new job and move to another state and take a chance, makes me look back on my life and wonder when i even had dreams or even had goals or even wanted anything more for myself.
my relationship is stale and i am here pretty much for the comforts of a roof and food and just existing and not living.
depending on others not only for the basics of life but for friendship and for approval and for self esteem and that is low right now too.
my clothes look horrible on me, i dont have any money to buy any, my bras dont fit properly, almost everything i own is 2 years old.
and im not losing any real weight.
why cant i rise above all of this and reach inside and find who i am and where i belong and what i want and how to make it happen??
sick of being depressed!
sick of darkness and dreading the long cold icy windy days of winter, when i will be even more stranded and unable to walk.
sick of wondering what is out there for me and sick of being afraid to go in search of it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPECODBABE 11/9/2014 8:40AM

    I'm sorry you are so depressed. When you are down, it's hard to pull yourself out of a slump, and I'm sure the weather doesn't help. Do you also suffer from SAD?

You are doing great trying to walk everyday. Fresh air, sunshine and nature help.

I haven't read your blogs in a while, and thinking back, I can't remember ever reading something you wrote that was positive or happy which is sad. I think you really need to speak with a professional and possibly getting on some meds. I want to send you out a hug.

Did you subscribe to Oprah & Deepaks Meditations? They're free and started Monday and go for 3 weeks. The one I listened to last night was about finding your hearts true desire. They really get you thinking. Might help.

If you are truly unhappy, you would be better living in a little studio apartment where you could start to grow and find what makes you happy than be miserable all the time.

Do something positive for yourself today. It's the perfect time to start.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GORDON66 11/6/2014 10:51PM

  Start by being nicer to yourself. My aunt, the retired nun, told me that at bedtime she lists three happy moments/good things that happened that day. It can be as simple as joyful as finding a beautifully colored leaf on the ground. Depression sucks and is very draining, but you can make some small changes in attitude that will allow you to be more content.

If you need to "talk", you know where to find me. emoticon



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WESAPHILLIPS 11/6/2014 9:03PM

  Seek help if you have to others....try to look at the positives of your life and focus on those...Good luck..Depression is not something to take lightly!!

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weigh in day, weigh IN day.

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Today I got on the scale, and I was happy. Not OVERJOYED, but happy. The numbers are down, some and even though it is a small amount, 3 pounds since last weigh in on the 25th. It was good.
A loss is a loss and that is something to be grateful for.
I enjoyed a beautiful day in the park yesterday, the sun was out and I took some pics, After I walked an hour, I sat on the bench and soaked up some sun and just reflected on the good things,
I feel better these last few weeks and even though I know these warm pretty days are numbered, I know they will come back again,
I know I have to take advantage of them while I can and find ways to be peaceful during the cold snowy days when I might be unable to go walking.
I get my vitamin d checked in a week and i hope it is up high enough to sustain me thru the cold months.
And I hope I can continue to lose weight. I am only 9 pounds away from where I broke my foot and was sidelined for months and gained some of my weight back.
So after i get these nine off its like I am continuing on from there.
I am just going to try.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJZHERE 11/12/2014 9:14AM

    Trying is what it is all about. emoticon

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UMBILICAL 11/4/2014 8:16PM


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BACCAGIRL 11/4/2014 8:06PM

    Weigh to go girl!! Congrats on getting rid of those 3lbs and bouncing back to your weight loss journey self! Sidelined by injury doesn't always make it easy, I know, and you deserve kudos galore!

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