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SOBERLIFE's Recent Blog Entries

It IS POSSIBLE!!!! Food addiction & Morbid Obesity will not win!

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Lost 140 lbs in a little over a year!

Here is my story!

Love you guys!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLENOIR80 3/27/2014 8:46AM

    Dang girl! YOU GO! Now your song should be "Overcomer" by Mandesa!!! emoticon

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SOBERLIFE 10/19/2013 10:06AM

    Thanks to you all. MUCH LOVE!!! :-)

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CGLURICH 9/9/2013 5:43AM

  Wow ,that video made me cry ! That's one of my favoit songs .I love big daddy weave!
I can't tell you how you have inspirited me ! I go to 12 steps of freedom at my church ,I love it because they use the recovery bible and the 12 steps .God can do anything ! You are amazing ,I'm so happy for you! I hope to check back soon with a good report ,i've never been able to get any real abstinents ,but I'm praying and leaning on God ! thank you for you honest beautiful video .God Bless you emoticon

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CJBAGGINS 8/29/2013 2:50PM

    Beautiful video. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

And congratulations on your baptism!
All praise be to God!


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LISAHELLING 7/31/2013 1:52PM

    You're such an inspiration! Be proud!

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ABYGAILSMOM06 7/31/2013 1:42PM

    Your story brought tears to my eyes. Good for you for moving forward and changing your life emoticon

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SOBERLIFE 6/14/2013 10:14PM

    Wow, thank you all for the love and support!!!

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SPARKLEE80 6/14/2013 9:48PM

    You are very inspiring.


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LAUGHIN_ME_THIN 6/12/2013 10:57PM

    Way to go!!

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BEEBEA 6/12/2013 6:01PM

    Incredible! You're so beautiful.

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TEMPENATIVE 6/11/2013 2:28PM

    wow, your video made me tear up! so glad you made it thru all that! Im a friend of bill w. , write me any time emoticon

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DAWNSJOURNEY 6/6/2013 3:17PM

    You are right where you need to be.. I am glad you found your place and Wow you have done Amazing things .. and I am sure you will continue to do amazing things..

love ,

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STEFIGURL 6/5/2013 11:59AM

    Thank you so very much for sharing that! Good for you for finding your way back to life :-). You are here for a reason, no doubt :-).


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SOBERLIFE 6/5/2013 12:43AM


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PATRICIAAK 6/4/2013 10:51PM

    PTL for where you are today.

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SOBERLIFE 6/4/2013 10:51PM

    Thank you, dear!

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THOMS1 6/4/2013 9:22PM

    emoticon What a journey you have been on. "God Bless You"

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2012 Update!!

Monday, February 20, 2012

As some of you know, I have an eating disorder which transformed into a powerful addiction throughout my life. 42 days ago, I decided to listen to God's wisdom and let go of my "drugs." Abstaining from sugar, white flour, caffeine, all of my trigger foods, and the obsessive eating behaviors that controlled my life. In 42 days of abstinence I have lost 34.5 inches from my physical body and 12 billion pounds from my once insane, "junkie" mind. I am working Step 4 of the 12 Step Program, which I used to fear. Through that program, I have a sponsor and am a sponsor to someone else. I love my counselor, who I was afraid to meet for years. I am going to college, yet that's something I never thought I'd do. I now talk to my father regularly; he is someone I had shut out of my life and we never had a relationship. I forgave my mom for not meeting my unrealistic standards of what a mother should be, and have accepted her for the beautiful person she is, where she's at in life. I stare in the mirror and am no longer disgusted, but proud of that woman I see looking back. She's changing. She gets it. She's alive. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


  Wow, what a beautiful entry this is. And wrote it on my 51st birthday. There is so much in it that applies to me as well and I am going to take strength and motivation from it.
Bless you!

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CELIA1975 2/20/2012 4:53PM

    That is awesome! You go, girl!


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HEIDISHOPE 2/20/2012 4:40PM


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Saturday, May 08, 2010

I have not logged on in a while and I really want to get back into the groove with health but I just can't seem to get started... Someone say something motivating!!!!!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOBERLIFE 11/6/2011 1:57AM

    Thanks to everyone who has invested time into commenting on my blogs. I appreciate your love and support more than you know.

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LIFEHASCHANGES 5/11/2011 12:02PM

    Well, I am looking forward to seeing your success, if that is any motivator. It keeps me going to see people coming back and getting it done! I am really looking forward to it, and was before, which is why I have stopped by your page periodically...

I agree with the earlier post about stocking your fridge. Veggies and fruits and all the healthy stuff, you can do it. Just keep some really super light snacks on hand. When I am really wanting to snack I make up a plain romaine salad and season it up, adding some balsamic vinegar or other light dressing. Then I can snack. Making it through the snacking is teh tough part for me. But, you have the tools, and you know how to use them.

I look forward to seeing you. Dont leave us again!

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DEE107 8/18/2010 12:05PM

    Know where you are been there and knowing you will get thru this .. take it slow and do little changes and then a little more .. You can do it ,,Hugs

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DEE107 8/18/2010 12:05PM

    Know where you are been there and knowing you will get thru this .. take it slow and do little changes and then a little more .. You can do it ,,Hugs

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OUTDOORGIRL69 8/18/2010 10:29AM


Don't give up. You are right to give it to God. He will help you. Just stay Positive. Stay as Motivated as you can. Restock your cabinet with all healthy foods and not junk food.

We are all here for you and you can contact anyone on Spark People if you run into problems. We are here for you.

I will be praying for you.

God Bless

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RONIJHAM 7/13/2010 9:32AM

    Hi Tasha!!! emoticon I missed you! I know what you're going through. I did pretty good until the holidays and I gave myself some slack.... apparently too much slack because I haven't lost any inches or weight since then. I know you can do it! I start each day as a new day. If I mess up the day before, I figure out why or what may have triggered my not so good choice, then move on. It happens, but each morning is a new day, a new time, a new opportunity. Feel free to stop by any time =) I am always there for you to talk to =)

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JLANDSBERGER 5/10/2010 8:20PM

    You can do it! I promise. I had fallen off for awhile, and am now doing great. My best motivator is trying to break my streaks...exercise one day longer than I did before & eat perfect for one day longer than I did before.

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TIGGER622 5/10/2010 3:01PM

    I have missed you girl!!!! Get back on here - if nothing else, I need you to keep ME on target! You can do this - make this your time. A little hard work and logging and support and you wont believe how good you will feel! We are here waiting for you when you are ready! Get movin hon!!!

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MAGSA10 5/8/2010 8:06PM

    emoticonGet up off your butt and take a look in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do this and will do this. Now make a lists of things that you want to change for yourself and how to go about it. Tell yourself that you will eat healthy, exercise even if it is just for ten minutes a day and get yourself into a regular routine. Come On, get with it and let's do this, you have friends here who can help and you can be strong and get to Sparking.

Maggie j. emoticon

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JESJES 5/8/2010 5:49PM

    Just get up and go out on a walk and enjoy the world around you as much as you are able to. You are a strong woman and you have the power to succeed at this.

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B-FLAT 5/8/2010 3:46PM

    You can do's so easy to get distracted with "life", but being and feeling healthy is a much BETTER life...isn't it??? Get up and get moving...start small if you have to, but start!!! Now!!! Today!!!!

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MATTRIXMSP 5/8/2010 3:24PM

    You did so well before, keep it up!

Remember, strive for consistency, NOT perfection!


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DEEJ4FITNESS 5/8/2010 2:07PM

    YOU CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens you!! And I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!! Remember what it felt like when you 1st "got it" cuz I do :) You inspired me! Go back & read those notes sweetie!

We're ALL on a journey, regardless of where we are on our own personal path, every step we take can be used to propel us forward to a better place than we're at today :) There's no healthy person out there who didn't do it one step at a time!!

You'll figure it out, just be sure you're not looking too far ahead as that's overwhelming for anyone, one step at a time. What will be your ONE single step today? Perhaps a blog, hmmmm...... CHECK! Done!!

See ya here tomorrow :).....

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DASEEMAN 5/8/2010 1:34PM

    Start with small steps, making sure you are drinking your water and eating your vegetables. Park you car at the far end of the parking lot, take the stairs at the mall, not the escalator. Little things like that add up. Make conscious decisions to do little things like this and you will be back on track in no time.


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LISANANCY 5/8/2010 9:01AM

    Hey you, wait a minute, you have already started, your attitude has changed "I really want to get back into the groove with health " Now get busy and bring that desired deep into your spirit, put you, yes you, front and center. When you do this, when you really feel and know the reason why you want to get healthy, you will. Trust yourself, have fun, make good decisions. If you have time to blog, you have time to exercise. If you have time to buy junk food, you have time to decide to have good food. Do something for yourself everyday, doesn't even have to be something huge, but just for you, just because YOU want to get healthy. The loosing weight will be a side benefit. Go for it. Today is you future, What you do today will become your past, get it, tomorrow you will look back on today and compliment yourself what you did in the PAST. And there you go, one day at a time, you will look back and see how far you have come. Go for it emoticon

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COFFEYBEAN 5/8/2010 8:19AM

    Move that body lady....just do some walking...nothing tough...just walk, enjoy nature, enjoy the outdoors, enjoy life. Set little you're going to walk at least around the block....or around the house, or around a only takes the first step to say you've started....and just take it One Day at a Time...

See you on the threads. emoticon

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I need your advice..

Friday, January 29, 2010

Thanks again to all those who commented on my last blog. Those words were so kind and motivating, and I am thankful to say I pulled it together and am back on track now.

I was in the gym today and what happens every time I go, happened. I get blisters on my feet. I have tried different tennis shoes, I have tried different socks, even wearing 2 pairs of socks at once... Nothing helps me. I usually get these blisters on my feet every few days that I am consistently active. It sets me back because I cut workouts short due to the pain of being on my feet and sometimes I can't workout because of the pain from getting the blisters the day before. Any advice I can get for this? It truly is ruining my gym workouts.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOBERLIFE 11/6/2011 2:01AM

    I agree with needing a good fitting pair of shoes. I tried moleskin and that didn't seem to help. I probably didn't use it correctly or something silly.

Thanks all for your input!!! I'm going to read through these posts and find a solution since I am back on the health wagon.

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    Are the blisters on your heels? Are they caused from the sliding of your shoes on the skin. You might need a proper fitting shoe. In the meantime, you could bandage them prior to your workout. This really works! The bandage takes the abuse rather than your skin... emoticon

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BETRME100 5/8/2010 6:59AM

    I don't know how motivation this will be, but you've made the first step in getting back with your routine by posting this blog. Maybe make a deal with yourself (write it down...I tend to forget my "deals" if they're not where I can actually see them every day) that you'll get some exercise every day, use the nutrition tracker every day and log on to SP every day....then follow thru...maybe give yourself a reward at the end of the week for achieving the goals you've set for yourself.

You can do this!!!! Believe in yourself!!

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LILASIAGO 2/24/2010 12:25AM

    Wow, lots of great advice! Update us and let us know what ends up working!

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DEEANN8 2/3/2010 3:00PM

    Kudos for you for getting to the gym! (I need to do that more myself ;o)

I glanced at the other suggestions, but didn't read them completely - so hope this is not too much of a repeat.

1. You might consider having a professional look at your feet (podiatrist) or investing in a really good and professionally sized pair of shoes.
2. You might limit lower body exercises for a while, and when you do lower body - don't do any one exercise for more than about 10 minutes (10 min on the bike, then 10 on the treadmill or elliptical)
3. ...and/or exercise the lower body on the wt. machines and floor only for a while. You could see if the gym has one of those hand 'bikes'.
4. Moleskin: put moleskin on the problem areas. I used it when I had a pair of hiking shoes that hurt my feet and it really works.

I'm thinking that as the weight drops and calluses form, it should get better. Anyway... Good Luck, and hang in there.

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MRS_JRS6494 2/2/2010 10:41AM

    Tasha, I am so glad to hear you have pulled together. The journey that a lot of here on spark are going through is a roller coaster. We have good & bad days. Heck we have good and bad weeks. I just pray I don't run into a bad MONTH! :) Either way, I am glad you felt you could turn to spark in your time of need. There are SO MANY people here that can be of help.
As far as the blisters... I think you've gotten all the advice I could have come up with! So ditto to the previous commenters.
I hope things continue to go on the upward spiral for you. Feel free to drop by my sparkpage any time you need an ear or anything.

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NJJAZZ 2/1/2010 2:05PM

    Ok so sounds like in order to stop the blisters you are going to have to alternate exercising. That means continuing to go to the gym -= but do sitting upper body kind of exercises at least every other day to keep off your feet. There are machines you can do= or simply sitting on a weight bench and lifting lighter weights for your upper body. Your feet are complaining but it should NOT stop you from exercising or getting to the gym.
You are on the right track........... stay oln it................. the weight loss will come.

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I applaud you for hanging in there and getting back into the gym. You've received GREAT advice, and I don't have anything addition to add. Know that I am sending you strength and encouragement to get you through.
You are to be commended for making your health a priority.
All the best,

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TIGGER622 2/1/2010 10:00AM

    i was going to make some of the same suggestions as others - deoderant on the feet or body glide might help with some of the chaffing or rubbing... gold bond powder or baby powder before hand could help absorb some of the moisture... i would try one one day and one another day to see which one works. otherwise, it might just be a matter of doing what you can each day until you start to be able to do longer workouts on your feet. or maybe change it up to swim or bike on alternative days so you arent on your feet everyday... good luck! glad to hear you are back at it!

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EMBRACE_SUCCESS 1/31/2010 5:30PM

    Shoes are the obvious remedy, but here are a couple of other suggestions. I know this might sound really strange, but one thing thing that can help to prevent blisters is putting deodorant on your feet. It will reduce the friction and hopefully alleviate some of your problems. You could also try running for a few minutes and as soon as your feet start to sweat, change your socks. The sweat could be a contributing factor. You could also try using gold bond in your shoes as this will absorb some of the sweat. Also, make sure that you air your feet out when you get a chance and allow yourself the necessary recovery time (or cross train at a lower impact level). I did a 6 month backpacking trip and those are the tricks that we used to keep our feet blister free or take care of them when they were having problems.

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WARMSPRINGDAY 1/31/2010 9:34AM

    It can be tough exercising through pain. Check out ~Indygirl's page and her blogs. Here is a blog where she lists some other exercises you can do that migh help when you can't take a full workout on your feet.

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HAPPY0408 1/30/2010 7:03AM

    emoticon on getting back to the gym. I don't have any shoes advice for you. I wear insoles in my shoes and that surely helps me. Sounds like you have some great suggestions already posted. Good Luck! Hope you find shoes that work for you.

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LADYNETTIE 1/30/2010 1:17AM

    It sounds like your shoes are rubbing on your feet wrong. Go to a running store and have them take a look at your shoes. The running store in my city has a treadmill and they videotape you running so that they can see how your feet land and how to best fit your shoes. I also buy good over-the-counter orthodics to put in my tennies. I still get callouses on my feet from all the running, so I use my pedicure set a lot! emoticon

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DAPHASAURUS 1/30/2010 12:47AM

    I know that if I buy super-cheap wal-mart shoes they take FOREVER to break in.. they're like wearing hard plastic on my feet. So make sure you go for quality. And just as other poster said.. I keep an old pair around and switch to the older pair when my feet start to hurt until I break in the new shoes. Plus those blister band-aids are nice! (but don't work-out with blisters, ouch!!)

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DASEEMAN 1/30/2010 12:05AM

    Here's hoping you find the right emoticon

Glad to hear you are doing better. I have no other advice to offer regarding shoes, however, if the others' suggestions don't work you may try seated exercises for the time that you have the blisters so you can keep moving. There are plenty of people who have to do seated exercises do to health issues and such.

Keep up the great job!


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KPACE7 1/29/2010 10:52PM

    My husband has the same problem. He gets special socks with no seams. emoticon

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EKKING 1/29/2010 10:33PM

    I have no runner advice or shoe fitting advice, but can tell you a bad pair of sneakers can be hell! I'm currently working out in two OLD pairs of sneakers and can't wait to get a new pair that has good support (or some left!) and some bounce. It makes ALL the difference.

Good luck and keep on moving. Even if it's not a gym routine for now, just keep moving and the weight will come off.

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FITNESSFOODIE 1/29/2010 10:13PM

    Tasha, great job getting back to the gym! Good for you. I agree about the proper fitting shoe making all the difference. I'm not a runner, but my feet go numb on the elliptical or bike if the shape is wrong or the size is off.

I have had good luck going to the sports shoe store at the mall and trying on pair after pair. Try them both on, walk, run whatever. I find Reebok have a wide toe box and fit me very well for exercise, but Nike is fine for every day walking around or shopping. I tried wearing my Nike's one day at the gym and my foot went numb again. Now that I know what fits me I can buy them when they go on clearance or a sale.


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JEM0622 1/29/2010 9:44PM

    Jes gave you great advice on the moleskin (we were once on the same BLC team...just so you know). I am a runner. Having shoes that fit properly (and are good shoes) is important. I have special socks. DryMax. I never blister with them. Never. Your feet could be sweating more than some. But the DryMax socks take moisture away from your feet. ~Julie

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LISANANCY 1/29/2010 9:32PM

    How old are your shoes? Getting fitted is really important. Get advise from a store that specializes in running shoes. Look for the better deal. Are you shoes too small, too big? emoticon

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JESJES 1/29/2010 8:44PM

    Tasha, it's great to hear you're back on track! If you have the cash, I'd go to a running/walking store and get fitted. I've had foot issues most of my life, and getting a good fit is essential for me. As for a temporary solution, have you heard of moleskin? You can get it at any pharmacy. It's basically a really thick, somewhat fuzzy sticker. Use sharp scissors to cut out a piece to generously fit the area or areas that are rubbing (make the piece a little bit bigger than the blister area. Make the corners nice and rounded (square corners can get stuck on socks and rub off). Then just stick them on there. I LOVE it for hiking when I'm breaking in a new pair of boots. As soon as I feel the rawness start I stop and sit down and apply it, and it prevents blisters from starting. Since it happens to you in the same places every time you could just do it ahead of time. Good luck!

Comment edited on: 1/29/2010 8:46:18 PM

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Crushed spirit...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

So many negative things have been happening to me lately. I became discouraged because of a number on a scale... and I allowed that to interfere with my consistent progress fitness and eating wise. Which soon turned into a battle with my faith.... & I had a nervous breakdown a couple hours ago on account of a really mean spirited person (now ex best friend) putting me down more than anyone has in my whole life. That friendship ended this morning.

I just feel like giving up completely. That at the same time makes me NEVER want to give up. I feel so weak right now. I feel like one more bad thing could do me in forever. :/

The ironic part is instead of a New Year's resolution I decided to balance my life mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, and guess what? Right now all 4 of those are being majorly attacked.

Not sure why I am saying this.... Just need a real friend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOBERLIFE 11/6/2011 2:01AM

    :) Thanks everyone.

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TINYBUNCHES 2/1/2010 9:35PM

    Sorry I didn't read this before today. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. Please don't let words bring you away from your goal. You can make it through this journey. Keep your faith in God and yourself.

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    Just remember that there are always going to be obstacles but your resolve will most certainly strengthen as you pound your way through them. Perhaps the former friend was threatened by your new approach to life. That unfortunately happens but you cannot let it affect your long term goals or the life you deserve.

I hate when I see a big goose egg on that scale but it is going to happen sometimes no matter how hard you work or how perfect you feel you did on your eating plan. All you can do is, as I always say, keep on keepin' on!

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SOBERLIFE 1/27/2010 11:13PM

    I am so overwhelmed by all the love. I WILL save & print all of these comments and keep them close. You have helped me in more ways than you could ever know. From the bottom of my heart thank you.


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IRISH_EYES_66 1/27/2010 6:46PM

    Don't give up!! You have an entire community of friends on your side here at Spark. We are more than the numbers on the scale!!


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KRISSYSWIM16 1/27/2010 5:59PM

    Sending a big hug from st louis missouri! I completely understand life being attacked from all angles, and my thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need ANYTHING! you let us know. seriously I am on here and check my email several times a day, so if you need a friend, someone to talk to, complain to, or just to have someone there I will be that person! We can all lean on each other because thats what life is all about- having support! emoticon emoticon

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DASEEMAN 1/27/2010 2:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Hang in there! It is always darkest before the storm, someone said, not sure who, but what they failed to mention was the sunshine that will come out when the storm is run its course.

Someone else said to tell yourself what you would tell someone if they were in the same situation. I want to add something to that thought! Write it down. Look at it every time you need a boost. Read it over and over and over! Print off the comments from this blog. We care so much for you and want you to feel better! If you need encouragement, we are here for you every single day. Never give up, because the journey you are on it headed in the right direction.

Push the negative out of the way and think of something positive that has come from that situation. It's there, you may have to look but it is there. That wonderful silver lining.

Never let anyone treat you badly! You don't deserve to be treated badly, no one does.

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    Tasha, I am sorry things are so rough right now. We all have bad times and good times. I suffer from depression and sometimes it gets too much for me. I have reached out for help for the first time. It was not easy to do.

I understand where you are coming from. I have had friends hurt me deeply. When it is someone you trust and care for, it cuts deep. The pain is almost unbearable, but you must remember that YOU are just as important in this world as anyone else. YOU can make a difference in your life and when you do, others will see it, they will take notice, and YOU will motivate others to make changes to improve their lives.

This world is tough, there are mean spirited people out there. Your journey will be long and hard, but the reward for walking that journey is amazing. By the end, you will be able to look back and see that you have made a difference in your life and the lives of others.

Dear Tasha, you can do this. I know you can. emoticon emoticon

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FITNESSFOODIE 1/26/2010 11:32PM

    Tasha, I am so sorry that you are having such a down moment right now. You are already finding that the inner strength is there, don't give up now! Darkest before the dawn and all that. Right when it seems the most hopeless is when you have to push through to the other side. emoticon

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LIFEHASCHANGES 1/26/2010 10:54PM

    Hey sis- its those tough times that are opportunities for us to come through with new levels of faith- strengthened... In fact since you have held on and are addressing this you have essentially defeated the enemy-- the attack has been unsuccessful... And now you can turn around and praise God because you still acknowledge the awesome gifts of salvation and grace that He has bestowed upon you, and your relationship has been strengthened in that you were challenged and are still persevering in that faith.... I know you will make it... And dont let that scale trip you up... All those healthy choices are adding up to many other positive things in your life. You are a wonderful support and encouragement, and there are many valuabe lessons that we all can learn from each other as we live and learn on this road to health... You are someone who is sharing those life lessons with us too.
Yes I have to watch out with the scale thing. Especially around my period. I will be doing EVERYTHING right, and i wil gain a couple pounds... Does not fail lately... To the point where i know my period is coming because I gain weight when I shouldnt. Also I was doing jogging and my calves kept getting bigger on the measurements... It was discouragingto see anything get bigger, but eventually they started to go down again...
Okay I am typing away and I have to do homework from my first ever day of college class... Take care sister. Just wanted to offer my support and luv :)
Love to ya in Christ-
Mrs. K

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    You may feel crushed in spirit now but you can rise up again and start anew. You have control of you and that includes your emotions. You get to choose! You can choose to not let these things crush you. You can choose to look at the number on the scale as just a number or give it some power over you. You can choose to be friends with people who bring you down or you can choose to let those people go. I know I am making this seem like it is cut and dry and very easy but I know from personal experience that it is NOT! I am just trying to help you realize that YOU have control over your life. Please never forget that. I believe in you! You can do it!

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B-FLAT 1/26/2010 10:39PM

    Words sure can hurt...but don't let ANY person's words determine your future. Satan loves to attack when we're already down and hurting.
I stole this from someone else of SP....You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
Don't stop have a whole lot of people on your side!

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DBELLE39 1/26/2010 10:16PM

    Tasha, we are all here for you ---look at all the friends you have here to support you!!!! I know things look bleak at the moment, but keep your chin up, we will get thru it together - that's what friends are for. Just take it one step at a time as you work with the balls that life throws your way. It's not a perfect game, but we have to make it the best one for us.

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HAPPY0408 1/26/2010 10:07PM

    I think all these comments pretty much said it all. I am sorry this happened to you. However, reach down and find your inner strength. You can do this! The first step you took which was writing this blog reaching out for support. You came to the right place. Here at Sparkpeople you will get tons of support and encouragement. So keep on blogging and reaching out. That is what this site is all about!

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DUTCHIEKIWI 1/26/2010 9:46PM

    Look at how many people commented on your blog.

You are not alone, there will always be people in your life one way or another, that care and that will support and guide you.

Life is a huge roller coaster ride, with many ups and downs. It feels very unfair all the things that are happening to you, and while you are in the middle of things it's very hard to say and think 'everything happens for a reason'

I believe it does.

That friendship, no matter how much you are grieving right now,might have been going in the wrong direction.

Your personal journey is one of growth in all the area's you mentioned.

We meet people in life, and when we do there is a reason for it.
That person might teach you something or might make you discover something about yourself and life.

Look at yourself in the mirror. or even when you're lying in bed and think about what kind person you want to be.

Many more people will cross your path, and some of them will become best friends again, I know it for sure!

Be strong, you can do this....




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GEEMAWEST 1/26/2010 9:15PM


Please don't give up on yourself! That is exactly what the mean-spirited people would like you to do because then they can say they were right and that is how they make themselves feel better. I can tell from your writings that you are a strong young women. Nobody said this journey was going to be easy (if they did they were lying) but you can do it. You are a survivor and you will be able to help so many more people along the way if you stick with this. Sparkpeople isn't a diet, it is a Healthy Lifestyle which will lead to weight loss.
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WISEWIFE 1/26/2010 9:10PM

I'm 55, and have had some rotten things happen to me too. But I can honestly say what doesn't kill you really DOES make you stronger. Maybe not tonight, maybe not next week, but give time time! You sound like a nice, caring person. So hang in there and say nice things to yourself. If I had posted this, what would you say to me to pick me up? Say them, yes right out loud, to yourself.
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DDHEART 1/26/2010 8:12PM

    Don't give up on yourself. It is very easy to allow the scale to have power over us and when that happens it is easy to slip up in our efforts to work toward our goals but it takes a lot of little steps to make it to the goal and as difficult as it is right now, one of those little steps is to surround ourselves with supportive positive people and sometimes we need to rid ourselves of destructive influences. For some reason, there are people who find it necessary to make us feel badly about ourselves....the most difficult thing I needed to learn here on SP was to like myself and stop hearing the negative things that had been said to me in the past. I know it hurts to have to do this but you are worth it. you deserve to have people who can be supportive around you. I could hear strength in your can do this!

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VALI_T 1/26/2010 7:57PM

    People can really be awful sometimes, but please try not to let them take you down for the count. You're worth so much more than that. I'm sorry that you lost a friend over whatever it was that was said and done, but your Spark friends will always be here to cheer you on, give you a hug, whatever it is that you need. If you knew just how many people love you (and not just on SP) I'll bet you'd be blown away. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/26/2010 7:57:50 PM

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ATHENA130 1/26/2010 5:34PM

    Tasha, don't give up and let people like that have any control over you. I know how you feel - I've had it happen a few times unfortunately. Both people I thought were good friends and then I found out what they really thought. It was hard to deal with at the time but I know I'm better off. One of them recently tried to reconnect but not interested! You deserve to have people around you who truly care - not people who are insecure in themselves and feel better by putting you down.

Use it as an opportunity to show yourself that you are the strong, resilient woman we all know you are. You deserve it and you are worth it!!


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KATIEBUGG13 1/26/2010 4:42PM

    Don't give up. Look deep inside yourself and find that strength. It is still there. If we did not have moments of weakness, if we did not have well the bad, then the good would not be so sweet. I know, from experience, a trusted friend who turns on you can break your heart like no other. Don't let it. Take a moment for sadness and anger, and then use it to work out or do something constructive and good for yourself.One thing in life I have learned is one more bad thing will not do you in for good. Every bad thing is a test of character, strength and will. It will help shape you into a better person. I know all of this sounds dumb when your feeling bad, at least for me it does, but hopefully it will be useful to you.

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DEE107 1/26/2010 4:08PM

    Some times things happen and we dont know why.. Do give up give over.. Let go and Let God handle this for you.. Right now you take care of you and all the rest will happen.. I know been were you are now and its hard.. People dont think of what they say they just do what they want.. Remember be the best you can be and let everything else just happen.. Hugs and hope this brightens your day.. DONT GIVE UP ...... LET GO and Let GOD handle it

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JANNIEWANNIE 1/26/2010 3:55PM

    I am so sorry for the troubles you are facing. You are so much more than just a number on a scale. Sometimes all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. You did a great thing by writing this all out in your blog. It is a safe way of asking for help. Hang in there. We can perservere together here at Spark. Hugs to you from Janet in central Illinois

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PEGSILLYOUS 1/26/2010 3:16PM

    Tasha, there isn't much that I can constructively add to the other comments. But know that I support you and will keep you in prayers as you work through this emotional time. I am an "emotional eater" and know how something like this can de-rail us, but to quote an oldie: "pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again" if you stumbled in your program. God bless you.

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CMBELISLE 1/26/2010 2:15PM

    Some people can handle it when their friends become successful. I know it is not easy for you right now, but you will be OK - it's obvious from your post and all the friends you have here on SP.

Keep up your good work and don't let this derail all your hard work. There's an old saying about getting back on when you fall off the horse and I think it applies here.

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BETRME100 1/26/2010 1:52PM

    Tasha...I'm so sorry that the person you thought was one of your best friends turned out to be someone so mean spirited. You deserve better than that. I am so proud of you for respecting yourself enough to take the stand that you did...even tho I know it hurts.

I'm impressed with your insight at such a young I wish I'd had some of that when I was your age (I'm 50 now), instead of having to wait until now for it. Good for you for acting to change your life now. Just know that there will always be hurdles, pit falls, road blocks in all of our lives...figuring your way to move forward in spite of them is how you grow...keep doing what you know you need to'll see your dreams come true...believe in deserve to be healthy and happy!


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BUSYMOM22 1/26/2010 1:40PM

    Tasha! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! You have not failed until you have given up. YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER. If you are here, that tells me THAT much. You are reaching out for help, and this is the place!


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ALLIE_1969 1/26/2010 1:31PM

    Go with the NEVER give up option... you are the only person who is always going to be with you no matter what. Make yourself you top priority for a while... it is not selfish, it is totally necessary. Take care and keep blogging out the negative feelings... there are lots of people who care enough to read and respond and to help you through. Don't sabatoge yourself because of someone else's issues... you deserve more than that!

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RONIJHAM 1/26/2010 1:27PM

    Oh Tasha! You are a beautiful, bright young lady. Please don't ever give up on yourself. You are worth it! I know your goals seem far away. Everyone has different goals and sometimes they seem unreachable, but they are not. You just have to keep walking towards them. I wish you all the best! We miss you on BLC 12! Take Care! emoticon emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 1/26/2010 12:57PM

    Tasha, I won't even try to say I know what you are going through. I am so sorry your friend did that to you. My daughter is just 21 and started on Spark a while back. She lost her 2 best friends as a result ~ she was changing and they weren't.

I beg you to stick with Spark and keep working to make yourself healthier. I was 420 about 9 months ago and I have lost 125 pounds, but I am 51 years old. I am so sorry I did not get control over this when I was your age. You are worth it!

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LEAHRC 1/26/2010 12:24PM

    I am sorry things are so rough. It does seem that we we decide to focus on certain areas, we are attacked in those areas.

I hope your day is improving. And good for you for the resolutions you have made to improve your life!


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STATCHO28 1/26/2010 12:20PM

    First of all I'm glad you ended your relationship with such an awful person. No one has the right to put you down like that. Only people that support and love you should have the privilege of your time and attention.

And I want to say I'm very sorry for all the things that have been going badly for you in your life. I can understand why you would want to give up at this point. BUT...go down deep inside of you and pull out the inner strength you know you have and make this a time in your life when, later on down the road, you can look back and say, "Wow, I really took control of my life and turned a bad situation into a good one." Of course there are many things you can't control, but at least try to control the ones you can!

You can do it!!! And if you ever need support, you know where to turn!! Us fellow Sparkies are here for you!!!

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OHIOKID 1/26/2010 12:00PM

    Your post spoke to me... I want you to know that you are not alone, and that you are stronger than you think....
I started my journey at 350 pounds (that was as where my doctor's scale ended)... This journey has taken me places where I thought I would never go.. some high and great victories, but along the way there are some lows don't be afraid to really experience all the feelings and emotions.. sometimes it is difficult and sometimes relationships change, but you are worth getting to know, and you deserve to live the life that was intended to be.
I do not want you to think that I think know you and have all the answers, because after loosing close to 200 pounds I do not have all the answers, but I enjoy life and all of it's experiences and through it all it has taught me about myself.. what I want and what I do not want...then I took the insight and created the life I choose to live...
It is the times when the storms in my life were the hardest that gives me strength to endure this journey.. I know that sounds funny, but you do not know how strong you are until it is tested!
A few things that really helped me was that I created a positive network for myself..
I found several walking buddies at work... I needed to walk everyday and I knew that along the way some would not continue with me.. I currently have one person that we are faithful after two years! I joined a gym and as I got stronger and a little lighter : ) I took some classes and found a workout buddy with my same goals and determination. I joined a weight loss support group "TOPS" it is not very much money to join and I am accountable to my group and the scale once a week! I got my family to slowly eat differently... hey I am the cook and grocery shopper!! I have a great support system!
Look around.. find what will work for you.. Even if you do not have another person willing to stand physically by you... I can not stress enough how much time I spent on Sparkpeople... when I wanted to eat, when I was angry, frustrated ... I would get on line and educate myself through their experts and articles and let's face it as long as we have SPARKPEOPLE you are not alone! We stick together and we all do really care!

So, stay strong, never give up, and keep reaching out for help and support!

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THEFITNUTLIFE 1/26/2010 11:47AM

    Hang in there, Tasha, honey. I know you don't think you're strong enough, but you are. You took the first step by writing this blog and asking for help. I understand how you feel. I've felt the same way many times. I've been through some really rough times and hardships that many people never go through. I can relate and I'm am so proud of you for ending a toxic relationship with someone who was making you feel bad. That is also another very strong, very courageous, postive step you took. One day at a time, Tasha, but NEVER give up. Stick with your fitness, do your best to make wise, healthy choices with your food, get plenty of water and rest. And come here to blog and talk and ask for help whenever the need strikes. We are all here to help you and support you through this.

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DRAGONFLY1974 1/26/2010 11:37AM

    Tasha, right now you have far more strength than you realize. You had the strength to write down some very real, very raw emotions for thousands of strangers to read. You had the strength to realize and end a toxic friendship. You DO have the strength to carry on.

You may not see the good in the horrible things you are facing now, but carry on and move through them and when you look back, weeks, month or years from now you will see it. You are developing into a healthier woman with goals, aspirations and dreams of being fit. Do not let the trivial crush your spirit! Rise above and kick those demons in the teeth.

It is all trivial after all! A number on the scale you can come back to beat, a toxic friend can be replaced with a much better friend, a slip in your healthier lifestyle means you can pick yourself back up and try again and learn from the slip. You are a beautiful young woman with the world at her feet, take advantage of all the positives in your life, make a list for when the bad tries to seep in you can remember the good things!

You can do this!


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MARTY19 1/26/2010 11:36AM

    There are moments in everyone's life where nothing is balanced and you feel like you are under attack. You can choose to let this bring you down or you can choose to overcome this and become stronger. You casn overcome this. This site will provide the friendships and support you need. Rely on us because we will be there for you.


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ANIKA34 1/26/2010 11:36AM

    Keep your chin up! I was discouraged yesterday with my number on the scale, and I decided I just needed to get over it and move on. This is a new week and I can do it! You can do it too! Take control of your life, and know that NO ONE should ever make you feel that way. SparkPeople is a WONDERFUL place that has ENDLESS amounts of people that are here to help and encourage you, and to listen when you just need to vent. I know that cause I have vented and hearing what others have to say has made me think about things differently. Remember YOU CAN DO IT!!! It is a journey, one day at a time, and we are all on that journey with you!

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SATYAGRAHA 1/26/2010 11:05AM

    First of all, I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this. No one deserves to suffer emotionally because of someone's words and actions, but it seems to happen anyway. You have two choices when things like this happen. You can let it take you over completely and control your life, or you can choose to look it in the eyes and say "I know you're trying to make my life miserable right now, but I'm better than that, so thank you for making me a stronger person". I know you can do the latter.

Secondly, I'm not going to say I know exactly what you're going through since everyone's story is different, but I recently had to let go of a very close friend of mine also. It took me a long time and many tries to actually let go, and when I finally did it hurt the most, but it was also the most freeing. And do you know what got me through? Worrying about ME and MY health. Focusing my energy and emotions into something positive such as eating right and exercising. Yes that meant boxing the crap out of my sister's Wii Sports, punching my emotions in the face, to the point of not being able to feel my arms...but I got a great work out.

Take this opportunity to focus on YOU and not at the situation at hand. There are certain things in this world that are out of control, and what your so-called friend does or does not is one of them. What you DO have control over is yourself (and your health), and I know that can be one of the hardest things to control. But, trust me, when you do take control of your health, all of that balance you were hoping for this new year will fall into place.

Sorry once again that you had to go through this. It's not easy losing friends in any way, but take care of yourself because you deserve it. emoticon

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LISANANCY 1/26/2010 10:55AM

    Ok, so why are you giving your ex-best friend all this control over you? Do you really think she feels this bad. You make you feel this bad! Take back your control! This emotion is a reaction to your situation, you are in control, you are not out of control. How do I know this? You told us. You created this blog! Re-read you blog. Look at all the negative words you are telling yourself. You body really doesn't know the difference, it will react the way you are telling yourself. Say this" Too bad, your friends name, doesn't get me, she really has missed a chance to have a good friend!" mean it, it's her/his loss, big time. emoticon

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GRANDMAAMIE 1/26/2010 10:43AM

    emoticonA STEP AT A TIME


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KAT573 1/26/2010 10:25AM

    What wonderful support you are getting! THAT means YOU are worth it! AND you need to be kinder to yourself. I would be crushed if I had set up the huge goals all at once as you have! It doesn't happen like that and that should be a positive realization for you!

LIFE is a BALANCING ACT and so it is OK when we get off balance, we learn from that, and I agree with others here; using the tool of SHARING your feelings and concerns is a huge step and a strong start to getting back on track. Writing and reading also helps you to see ideas for dealing with things, that others have tried, it also helps you clarify specific things and issues and therefore, steps you can take.

I agree making your health central MOST important. I realize also that being able and willing to try more than one tool and one measurement is going to give you a much "fairer" picture of where you are at. KEEP on keeping on!
You SHALL prevail! emoticon

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KITT52 1/26/2010 10:24AM

    we all have these times....and when you think you can't go on one for minute. take a deep breathe, relax...find friends or family that can give you support.....
You have been doing a good job getting your self healthy, so remember what you have kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up...Spark people are here for you...
I know how hard it can be to loose a lot of weight but you can do owe it to yourself to do are a good and worth while person....

just keep thinking that YOU CAN DO IT.....

big hugs


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TIGGER622 1/26/2010 10:06AM

    Hey sweetie!!! I am right there with you. I have been an emotional wreck the whole last week... travelling with who I thought was one of my best friends was a nightmare... and now I feel like I have no one. So, lets have each other okay? I could use a friend too, travelling this road is too hard alone and the loneliness can get sooooo big.... I'm here for you! Write me a message, I want to hear what happened with your friend. I hope you are feeling better today hon :-/ Hang in there!

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TERJEGOLD 1/26/2010 10:00AM

    Tasha, the mere act of blogging about your feelings is an incredible and positive step. No one and nothing is more important than you and your health.

Just tell yourself you are going to take the very best care of yourself that you can - just for today. Tomorrow is a new day and you can make your care plan for tomorrow after the sun comes back up.

Stay with your fitness goals, one day at a time, and know that you are giving yourself an amazing gift. People in your life who don't support you and your journey have not earned the right to be called a friend. Surround yourself with people who trust that you can and will do right my yourself. HUGS!!!

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DAVEFITZ1 1/26/2010 9:36AM

    Hi Tasha, I can relate to how you are feeling at the moment; I've been there. The fact that you've posted this blog is a positive in my opinion. We all need help, encouragement and friendship, regardless of how tough we think we are. I've woken in the morning and said to myself "Oh no, another day to face", but I found that with friendship, support, and some inner strength that life is a gift, and should be loved and cherished. Eventually I put some plans into action to acknowledge this. The support and friendship I've found on SPARK is a gift in itself. Never give up your dreams; I'm rooting for you!
Kind regards,
Dave emoticon

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GREENTREES76 1/26/2010 9:28AM

    I am not going to pretend I know what you are going through, but I will say that I know what you mean. You made at least one STRONG step in the right reached out to your SPARK friends!!! That's what this site was set up for. There are numerous computer programs that track calories...this site was set up to be a support system for those who need it.

When you reach out for those who truly care about you like we do, I hope that you gain at least some of the strength you need to keep plugging away. You are SO BEAUTIFUL and express your emotions/feelings/thoughts SO intelligently that I KNOW you are worth the effort it is going to take to get you healthy.

There will be times that the universe aligns just right...and all things come crashing down at the same time. It is okay to take a few steps back. Forgive yourself for that. But as soon as you regain your strength (and you will), you get back up, you brush yourself off, and you prove to this world that you DO have the strength and determination that I read in your blogs and you DO deserve to give yourself another chance at a good healthy life.

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DONNAEDA 1/26/2010 9:19AM

    Honey, stay off the scale. Don't let numbers determine your success. Find a tight piece of clothing and try that on once a week or once a month and you will see results. Make sure you eat healthy and exercise. You can do this and prove all those nay-sayers wrong. You will do this with SP friends.

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DDOORN 1/26/2010 9:15AM

    For all the terrible things that may be happening for you right now, I can see right off how you are in a much stronger position than I was at your age. It took me FOREVER to get serious about my health and wellness...I was FIFTY years old before I came around!

You, on the other hand, are getting serious about this NOW! Triple WOO HOO to YOU for that!

One thing I have found during difficult times is that by maintaining a laser-like focus on my health and wellness and sticking to my workouts and healthy food choices has been my Rock of Gibraltar! PLUS I find I am much better able to deal with the stressors in my life for having stuck to my plan of taking care of myself.

You have to make YOU the #1 priority in your life. You will find that instead of being selfish you will have all that much more to offer others for having done so.

Take care of yourself and stick with the SPARK so we can ALL reach our goals TOGETHER! :-)


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    I'm so sorry you're going through all of that. I know about the number on the scale frustration but keep on going. It WILL even out. (Too bad it works on its own time instead of ours, huh? *grumble*) No true FRIEND would dare speak to you in the manner yours did. People can have disagreements but putting someone down is something else entirely. You did good "weeding the garden." Surround yourself with people who love and support you, not crush your spirit!

My quote is going to a little more self serving..."living well is the best revenge." If you give up on yourself and your dreams, you're letting her win.

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LESSTHENB4 1/26/2010 9:11AM

    I find when all the walls are closing in like this....God is requiring me to hold tight to him. Because when you do, thats when the breakthroughs happen! Keep your head up!

"Sometimes God wants us on our knees because it forces up to look up!"

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