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The Time Has Come

Sunday, October 14, 2012

My journey on SP has come to an end. Many of you know I became very ill a year ago this month.

I began to have severe vertigo spells, headaches, and painful neck aches. I went on a FMLA, the school fired me which was within their right as they have less than 25 employees. I was kicked off disability and went on unemployment even though I was too ill to work.

Recently I have released my western medicine doctors. High technology didn't find a cure but did find that I have bursitis on my vertebrae. No doctor will say that this is the reason for my troubles but all of the doctors have prescribed endless prescription drugs none of which has helped me in the slightest.

I read the book Wheat Belly and gave up gluten. But that wasn't enough, I also gave up all grains and decided to pursue a healing diet at least for awhile because I discovered that I have long been unable to absorb food. For 30+ years I've followed the American Heart Association recommendation to eat low fat and eat 4-6 servings of whole grains daily. But I got fatter and fatter despite regular exercise and really clean eating.

I decided recently to go for regular acupuncture treatments and kinestiology/chiropractor treatments. I've gone on the GAPS diet which is a diet designed to heal what is known as the Leaky Gut Syndrome. This diet is a way of healing the intestinal lining so that one can begin to absorb food. A leaky gut actually is the situation in the body where toxins and or advanced gliadin end-products enter into the blood stream and are deposited everywhere in the body and in particular cause visceral fat. This is a very simplistic version of the science behind this diet.

I am finally beginning to lose weight, but I have a long row to hoe in order to reverse the damage. I am doing this diet because I am sick, weak and tired, and make no mistake about this, I'm losing weight but but only result of healing my intestines.

Guess what I'm eating? Fatty foods. I eat ghee, bone broth with fat, full fat yogurt, full fat cheeses, vegetables, meats and all of the things that we've been told not to eat since the late sixties. I realize now that wheat and other grains are not healthy for me and I suspect hundred of thousands if not millions of American. Our corporate farmers devised a hybridized version, a dwarf variety of wheat that would allow the revolution of growing, harvesting and delivering wheat to people on a grand scale. Remember when our grocery stores were small? I believe it's because we didn't need large stores to hold the processed wheat, corn glucose products pushed on us like crack. I know these are sweeping statements but I've had a lot of time to read about and think about this. My body is changing so fast and my energy levels are returning to how I felt in my 20's and 30's.

As a Farm-Based Educator I have a rare and auspicious opportunity to do things very different. I am looking into permaculture practices that allow for a healing of soils and prorogation of life for growing and living creatures. I have learned valuable lessons here on SP and made many friends. I can be found and befriended on Facebook. Julie Drigot is my name there and you can also find information about Little Prairie Homestead. My email is

Please lets stay in touch and please be well. I will keep this post open for awhile because I would like to hear from others but I am moving in another direction and grateful to be.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDYINBC 10/14/2012 5:25PM

    You will be missed here on Sparkpeople. I appreciated your encouraging words and support. The updates of your teaching left me thinking how your world of teaching was so different than my own. I hope your health returns and your path filled with great blessings!

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CJBAGGINS 10/14/2012 2:41PM

    All the best to you.
I pray that you will continue to heal, and experience full health once again!


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SUZIEQ1961 10/14/2012 1:29PM

    Best of luck to you. I wish you health and wellness in the future.

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ALICIA214 10/14/2012 11:22AM


Best of Luck. emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 10/14/2012 11:22AM

    Good luck. You are smart to do things this way. I did similar a long time ago, when docs were giving me meds and not addressing the real problem. I have had great luck with acupuncture. Best wishes for happy and healthy living.

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SUNSHINE99999 10/14/2012 11:11AM

  I will be sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Blessings!

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Mutual Forbearance and the Christmas Present

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Strange Fruit, the name I gave our last argument, for the want of a Christmas rose. One of us wants it the other one doesn’t. So sad, someone discovered that Santa Claus wasn’t real. But hope lives in the heart of the one who cries, “Be born in us, be born in our world!”

So much rage against rituals, the endless traditions, evil material trappings that also trap the heart and mind.

“Oh you petty things, no one believes in this pagan crap! This is all about the kids getting to open a lot of presents!”

And so the wild “anti-your-Christmas Music” music blares on while I type this letter.

I had a good cry and a bloody nose ensued earlier. I cried when I heard my cousin’s voice in a letter ending in a blessing to me. What else is there in life than to be known and loved?

Why my love, does your heart not leap to share the joy and wonder of Christmas with your dear wife who loves you so much? Isn’t the birth of Christ, who showed humanity the way to end death itself, equal if not as grand as Santa Claus?

If I live to give you anything may it be to realize the simple truth of it. Anticipation for love so pure and true can’t be anything but goodness springing from heart to heart, from the very youngest to the very eldest.

What then is this strange fruit of Christmas past doing in our Christmas present? The warmth and glow of our love and our lives is all that and more of a gift to one another.


Funny Feeling

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Yesterday I rejected a family party, an invitation to get together with friends and I just wanted to be alone. I had a real hard time over the past 9 months and I'm about to take my mom on a journey to meet relatives we never knew we had. My grandmother left her wealthy family at age 20. She ran off with the hired man, my grandfather, who gave her 6 children. Grandma was fond of saying "You made your bed, now lie in it." My grandfather abused his children terribly and a family pattern took hold among the women who endured it.

Today I'm reflecting on the path that has been laid a generation ago. I've come a long way from the pattern that set in our family by one woman's mistakes and misfortunes. I will go "back home" so to speak for my mother and my grandmother by meeting the open arms of many people who have wanted to know, since the 1940's, whatever became of Lea Lambert?

Sometimes I don't feel as if my life is my own but in this case I feel as if I must answer the call again and go where "he sends me". I'm feeling rather melancholic about it all and have little will to live out of a suitcase for another month. I know I have a choice and I am choosing to make this journey. I pray I will go off and come home safe and that when I do return that I can stay home for a long while. I'll do my best to stay connected to my Spark friends during this time away in Canada and I definitely am asking for everyone's prayers and thoughts from July 9th-August 9th.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 9/4/2010 3:31PM

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}

I just found your blog from your post on Catholic Critters... and even more than wondering how your trip went, I'd like to offer you a book by Francine Rivers (she is the very best women's Christian writer I have ever read): 'Her mother's Hope' Marta's Legacy, Part 1. It's actually based on Francine's own personal history, and I think it may speak to you. I also recommend her book 'Redeeming Love... this book has changed my life, and the lives of everyone to whom I've given it to read.

As for the challenge, I suspect that someone else may join late, but regardless I will be praying for you and checking in on you! Let me know in some way how I can best do that!

May today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May the grace of God simply "overtake" you moment by moment. May the joy and victory of the risen Lord be yours in a very personal way... may you always be overwhelmed by the grace of God, rather than by the cares of life!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

Comment edited on: 9/4/2010 7:52:20 PM

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LORETTA24 8/9/2010 5:41PM

    emoticon My prayers have been with you. Welcome back home. Keep smiling sunshine. emoticon

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CANBDONE 8/9/2010 6:59AM

    A journey back in time...may you discover more about yourself as you travel. emoticon

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    Will be praying for you during this trip. I can definitely see why you'd be a bit anxious about it all, but I like the idea above about photographs and journals and staying open to the possiblity of a great experience coming out of this!

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VMCSHANNON 7/4/2010 11:10AM

    Dont limit the chance to have a great experience. I know this will be a challenge. Try to think of it as a learning experience. Take pictures and keep a journal to write about your journey. I cant wait to hear about it when you get back. Ill be thinking of you! emoticon

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SHAPNUP 7/4/2010 10:07AM

    Wow. I can feel that this is a terrible trial for you. I'm praying for a productive and positively life-changing exeperience for all involved. Trust in God and His grace and mercy. He may have some gifts He's been wanting to give you and this is how it's going to happen!

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Listening to my Inner Voice, Making Peace

Sunday, June 13, 2010

For the past three years I've been reinventing myself or maybe I've just been holding on for dear life. I've wanted to follow a vision, a spark so to speak, related to farm-based education.

As a Waldorf class teacher I had been teaching the same class for 5 years. It is the tradition for Waldorf teachers to take a class of children from 1st grade through to the 8th grade. It requires an amazing amount of imagination, commitment, strength and patience. And love, don't forget the love. There was a voice in me that I recognize as my higher power, my angel, speaking to me. I remember hearing, "you should only go through 5th grade this time". But I decided along the way as I drew nearer to the end of 5th grade that I would go for the long haul.

By mid 5th grade my husband came to me and said, "Guess what, we're moving to the country, we'll quit our jobs, get new ones, and move into a rural area." This was delightful news for me except that I didn't agree with the "new job part". I dug in my heels and said, "well, I'm going to commute for the next 3 years from wherever we move to so that I can finish my class."

We found this beautiful rundown place way out in the country, a full hour away from my school where it used to take me 13 minutes to drive. I began to take on all kinds of farm projects, mostly chickens because I had this crazy idea that the class could sell the eggs as a fundraiser for our 8th grade trip. This not only didn't work but it actually cost more money because my husband wound up charging materials to build a Cadillac chicken coop and chicken feed is well, not chicken feed, it costs plenty and it takes a while to get chicks to a laying stage. But that wasn't the worst part.

The gas prices rose and the stress of driving was outrageous. Just 3 years I promised myself, I can do this, God will help me, my strong spirit will survive. Eventually the time went by and I continued to straddle two lives where I came to see that I did neither justice. So I decided when my husband took an early retirement to just live in town while he held the farm reins and I would pay a small rent to someone. For a year and a half I have lived out of a suitcase. Hauling things back and forth and still not doing farm life or teaching very well only due to the fact that I was worn out emotionally, physically and mentally. Under normal circumstances a person would need to recharge each night but my in town living experiences were difficult and I had no peace. My husband and I fought over animals, money and lifestyle.

He almost cheated, I almost left him and in short our finances were tapped and we had to make severe cutbacks on a farm where more, not less money is needed and we were/are over our heads and are slowly paying back our consumer debt but definitely, finally living beneath our means.

Now my class has graduated. It was a peaceful ceremony and there was beauty in it. We took a real nice 8th grade trip to San Francisco and toured the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Their final presentations were good and I have been hired to teach and finish a 6th grade class at a Waldorf school closer to home where I can recharge each night.

This week I will set up my new classroom, meet the new parents, have knee surgery and recover from the struggles I've created from basically not listening to my own inner voice 7 years ago.

I really want to have a farm school and my husband isn't convinced I can or ever should do it. He struggles to find his own purpose but he doesn't see me up and doing especially since I'm gimping around and not up to what it takes to do things well. He has accused me of running the farm remotely and it's true even though it feels mean spirited of him. I know I sound sad but I have hopes for getting well, working hard and listening for the call that will come as my inner voice. This time I plan to listen to this voice. I resolve to hear and follow the plan for I don't know what the future brings.

My heart is longing to make something of this farm life and to have good strong working experiences for children here. I have had a few successes with this under my belt but not without my husband's help and not without increased funding. I need to be stronger physically and mentally and I need to be at peace with myself and my life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEACHING1ST 6/21/2010 9:17AM

    Oh, my goodness...what you've been through! I hope you're recovering nicely and will have a chance to really think through 'the rest of your life!' You seem to have met all the challenges with 'wisdom, age, and grace' and DO need a quiet rest. I hope you do just fine with the balance!


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PEGGYJEAN13 6/13/2010 5:00PM

    You have traveled a long hard road, completed the job you committed to, and need to recharge. Things will be better for you since I know commuting is tough and I would never survive without my home recharge either. It sounds like your expenses will be less and the stress should also go down. I admire you for sticking to your responsibilities when many would have quit with all the obstacles facing them. Take care of yourself! Do what you need to do to recharge. You can do it .....look at what you have already accomplished as proof of your abilities.

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Packing an Apology

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I Said I Lied
Sunday, May 02, 2010

Didnt you say you signed the Code of respect form he asked? Or did he say, Didnt you say YOU HAD to sign the code of respect? Well yes I said, and then later I admitted to having lied about it when I was confronted by this most noble 8th grade student of flawless, practically foolproof crafter of winning arguments. Didnt you say you lied he asked?

Well how much of a lie was I really admitting to? After all signing an annual teaching contract certainly implies somewhere among the various agreed upon points that I do and must respect students. I think there may be implications involving a promise, or even an allusion that on any given moment I must be prepared to lay down my life for my students.

Yeah Im pretty sure my contract implies respect and so much more. If I say I signed the code of respect Im not entirely lying because Ive signed the Mother Load of all school documents that precedes student documents of the same kind. And come to think of it there is a line on the student code where my signature is required.

Oh to relate the carefree to the budding adolescent! Havent I grown past my own youthful season? My days of cutting teeth on the perfection of human ideals have long slid past. My days are filled with facing up to misjudgments, physical manifestations with voices and creaky limbs from past places Ive walked and words Ive spoken.

When I was his age I wrote a poem about paying attention. I had grown tired of teachers asking me and my class mates to pay attention. Paying attention had finally exacted its toll. My poem was a diatribe against payments due of which I did not owe. I was so proud of my clever thinking. Pride winning out put my life on a circuitous and wayward path; and now I spend my days gently holding the aftermath of my strayed attention and now I am committed to loving what is.

And if I lied to my 8th grader even if only to make a point; Im caught up in an intricate snare set by the Admiral of Debate. Shouldnt I smile and kindly take my lumps as his moral compass spins wildly out of control? He looks pleased by his own cleverness and I take it inward to imagine the path this young person will walk. Meanwhile I envision my own future and I commit to paying attention once again.


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