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SNOWJESTER's Recent Blog Entries

Why is the third day so hard?

Friday, May 23, 2014

Day 3 med free and on my vlcd. For some reason the third day of reducing calories is usually when disaster strikes and I binge. I'm just going to take it easy, drink tons of water and go to bed early. Which means I should probably put down my coffee...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAPFARMS 5/23/2014 10:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GEORGE815 5/23/2014 10:11AM

    Good luck!

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Center for Medical Weight Loss? Meh

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Well the weight loss doctor was triggering but all around unhelpful. If anyone is thinking of trying "center for medical weight loss, CMWL" here's my opinion. They charge $49 for the first visit and during that visit they try to convince you to buy their food for $600 a month. I told the doctor I was vegan and he said no problem, you can eat the oatmeal and tomato soup. I gave him the side eye and he stopped talking, realizing he'd lost me when he had the nerve to suggest I buy $600 worth of oatmeal and tomato soup. But he did say I should be on a vlcd of a max of 800 calories. 600-800. That 1200 calories is not the magic minimum number that all people need to eat, which I do actually agree with. I've been told by two doctors now to stay under 1000 so that's what I'm going to do.

In other news, I'm trying to switch up my routine and eat my biggest meal for breakfast instead of dinner. I thought it would make me hungry all day but so far so good. Drinking tons of water, but way too much coffee.


Day 1 med free

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

I know the meds are still in my system and will be for a while. I think the half life are two weeks for one and a month for the other, so I guess I won't feel too bad yet. I actually feel pretty hopeful today. Instead of my morning shot of pills and a huge breakfast, I had some coffee and almond milk and don't feel hungry yet. I've also drank almost 8 oz of water and it's not even 10am. That's probably why I'm not feeling hungry.

Now I'm trying to find the motivation to exercise. Ten minutes intense cardio a day is my lofty goal for the week. And some strength training every other day. That's doable.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEORGE815 5/21/2014 9:46AM

    No pills. What a morning!

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FERRNIE 5/21/2014 9:45AM

  Sounds to me like you're on the right track. Good for you. I joined yesterday evening, so today is my first day. Nice to know someone else is trying to get the motivation to do ten minutes of cardio. Thanks for sharing this post. emoticon

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Going of meds...again

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I've gone back and forth with anti depressants and abilify and I think it's that time again to step back. The effects are minuscule yet the weight gain is astronomical. So if I weigh the benefits, I have to conclude that it's time to let them go. I'm on three different happy pills yet spent the better part of the day curled up in bed, crying and fighting pill induced food cravings.

So I need an alternative. I'll try upping my cardio from just relaxed walks and dust of my zumba dvds. For the first week I'm just going to try those ten minute spark videos and yoga. Weight is a huge part of the depression. The "cure" makes me fat. Vicious cycle anyone?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXTHEHUN 5/21/2014 8:21AM

    Good luck.


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SNOWJESTER 5/20/2014 12:23PM

    Thanks for your thoughtful comments Coleen! I actually need to buy that lamp. My blood work last week showed I'm vitamin D deficient. I'll look into sam-e and st. johns wort.

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    oh yea, been there, done that .. i can't do most anti-depressants (and they just never work for me either) because i am mixed state ~ rapid cycling bi-polar .. and the meds made gain weight like crazy .. i have cut way down on them and i refuse to take anti-psychotics (Abilify and all of those) due to the horrid side effects on top of weight gain .. i started getting the movement disorders with them and they don't go away .. fortunately, i read up extensively on all my medications and knew the side effects and recognized the symptoms before they got horrid, but they are hard enough to live with anyway .. wow, okay, this became a me story and that is not what it is about .. LOL ya, just be careful, go off them slowly, and there are some meds over the counter that work as well as any script that i have seen ... my dr. had me taking Sam-E because it doesn't cause mania .. and there is no weight gain .. .. but it can be expensive since it is not covered by insurance since OTC .but may be worth trying.and have you heard about St. Johns Wort? .. i am getting ready to add that one again myself .. and make sure to get sunlight, it is proven to work pretty much as well as prescriptions also .. i have a lamp i use on blah days and in the winter that my dr. suggested too .. and some insurances will cover the cost of them if you get a script from a dr. .. anyway, i have run off at the mouth to long .. but i hope some of what i said made sense and helps .. hugs ..

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Subconsciously staying fat?

Saturday, May 17, 2014

I don't even know if I can call it subconscious anymore. I'm all too conscious of the fact that staying fat has given me an excuse not to live my life. I get to hide away and not participate because if I'm honest, the depression makes me not want to do anything. So is the depression the cause and eating the action? I'm too depressed to go out, have friends, travel, so I'll use being fat as an excuse? And it's an excuse that has served me well. I'm excused from things because my family only wants me present when I look good and they can be proud of me. They are NOT proud of my 200+ frame.

So what am I going to do? I'm going to stop hiding behind food and pounds for one thing. I went to a weight loss doctor who put me on a strict 1000 calorie max diet. She also handed me appetite suppressants...

I've been on sparkpeople long enough to know that isn't a long term fix but I'm also going to make lifestyle changes that I can stick with. I'm only to take the appetite suppressant, phendimetrazine, for a few months anyway as a quick start.

By the time I come off them I'll be in Peru at this ayahuasca healing center for four months and you only eat a bland vegan diet. And you only eat at meal times so I don't see myself gaining weight. Will I be crazy if I pack my scale in my backpack? Maybe. But I'm going to do it.

So, no more hiding behind the fat. Mindful eating time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWJESTER 5/17/2014 8:14AM

    Thanks IDLETYME! The center is called The Temple of the Way of Light and it was actually recommended to me by a friend that found traditional western medicine, aka anti depressants, to be ineffective in treating his depression. Which I also find ineffective. So I'm going to try something a little off the beaten path that treats more than the depression symptoms. I'm pretty hopeful.

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IDLETYME 5/17/2014 7:57AM

    Good luck!! I'll be anxious to hear how your stay at the healing center in Peru works out!!! Where did you hear about that? All best wishes!!! emoticon

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