Friday, May 13, 2011
"We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart... and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together.... I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude." ~Helen Hayes
I honestly believe 'Mommy Time' is a farce. I just pick up a phone, head to the bathroom, or settle in for a little time on here and I'm Little Miss. Popularity. Something that has increased in popularity is people taking more 'Me Time'. I think there is a level of ridiculousness to it. How many people have you seen come off of vacation all wired up and in need of a vacation from their vacation?
I've been gardening out in my neglected yard (avoiding my severely neglected home) and once in while a child pops in my radar, but, largely everyone is enjoying their 'Spring Break', which, let's be honest it's really, 'Mama's Sanity Break'. I'm on Day 3 of being pain free. That has not happened in 3 months. Those were the 3 darkest months of my life. These 3 days have been like those old movies, I can't quit remember the names of them right now. I've actually tired my self out. OH! Musicals. I got caught in the Spring rain today....it was so peaceful and magical. I have verified to my neighbours that I'm off my rocker because I stayed out there in that spring rain for an hour. I just puttered around planting my Casa Blanca Lillies, ripping up unwanted grass and just thoroughly enjoying the solitude.
Hubby can't have his wifey-poo living in La-la Land forever, but, he is very content to allow me space to get a steady grasp on my physical and mental health and I can not tell you how much of a blessing He is. If I didn't have my spark peeps, this angel of mine would have burnt out long ago. He wouldn't have been able to bear the burden of his wife talking through her mental anguish. He can't handle emotional chatter. He wouldn't have up and left me in duress, but, he would've gone mad trying to help and not being equipped emotionally to shoulder the weight. I'm slowly, but, surely on the mend. We're definitely back to our old schedule of schooling year round because of the health interruption, but, God had big lessons that He thought were more important for the Clan to learn.
Anyway, I gotta make this quick. I just am thankful that my house is a home and I have a sanctuary for my physical and spiritual here, and that I have spark as my emotional and physical sanctuary. Planned solitude even with the best of intentions is usually disrupted, but, a wonderfully valuable tool for healing and clarity. I think when it's seized as the moments present themselves they have the best effects.
Good Night Peeps it's bath and bedtime for the wee folk.
Love & Prayers,
No vlogs..cuz, well, I burned my eyelids, I'm swelling from the burn and new meds, my eyebrows have gone white from the sun...and a myriad of other excuses...oh, hubby is so happy to be around healthy me he hangs out on the couch until he keels over from exhaustion, thus, sleeping on the couch...I do NOT vlog in front of that man unless I really, really, really need to.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Good Evening Friends,
How has your day been? It's been smooth sailing over here. I'm finding it a bumpy ride with my calorie intake being above range but, I think with the amount of calories I'm burning chucking dirt around the yard it'll even out somewhere along the line. I'll try not to fret.
I'm enjoying getting a breath of fresh air. It's been great for my mind and wonderful for my daughter and I. We've had a trying winter with my illness and my eldest son pulls the weight leaving my eldest daughter to be co-pilot and she's not a fan of being co-pilot. So, she has been in her zone working hard and showing her stuff to her mama these past two days with the gardening. It has been beautiful.
This is going to be a picture blog to show you where I'll be playing. I may come across sounding like an experienced gardener, I'm not. I'm a professional weeder. My mom shared her gardens as well as she shared her kitchen. In the kitchen I was allowed to do prep and clean up and that's the extent of the gardening. It helped me develop a respect and passion for the actual 'fun' part of either, so, it's a win-win situation, eh? ( I love you Mommy!!!, I know you're reading this and not leaving a comment cuz you forgot your password xoxox)
I try to stay away from annuals, but, I can't OH, they suck me in every year. Last year I HAD to try these massive sunflowers. They're KONG and MAMMOTH. I took pictures and posted them in a blog. Here's the link. I'll be doing that again behind the veggie gardens here:
In the left bed I have alternating rows of Marvel peas, Radishes, and carrots. Once the last frost passes (May 27th) I will be planting my cucumbers (that I'll be starting in their Green House tray) in the right bed and planting my massive sunflowers behind both of the bed to form a wall to block the road view.
This is the bed Katie and I did two days ago. The birch is from my nieghbour's tree that the hydro company cut down. Do you remember the Walk Blog that I mentioned how I adored her birch. She just volunteered its remnants when I got home that same day and I had no idea (save fire wood) as to how to cherish them. She's 93 and she is daily active in her yard. She has everyone in the neighbourhood put to shame with her vitality. Her name is Lila, we call her Jedi Master. In this bed is alternating Hostas and Canalilies with an Ivy on the trellis...whichit will be sharing with some...you guessed it, Morning Glories...or Everlasting Peas.
Hosta...I love me my hostas...
Jedi Master came over and gave us a most precious compliment on our newest bed we've created. I took an unused twin bed and redesigned it into an arbor. I'm in LOVE with Morning Glories and I wanted them to drip off an arbor and because I contribute zero income, I had to get creative. Jedi Lila came over and gave her blessing today and that was wonderful to Katie and I. Katie knew how special it was to have that compliment of encouragement from this particular neighbour. The girls and I planted 4 packets of Butterfly perennial mixture at each side of the arbor. We had to mix up some extra, so, we'll see how that comes out. I plan on lining the back near the gate with the lupins and then have multi-coloured morning glory (of course) grow up and drip off of the trellis. I'm too excited.
Butterfly Mixture: Alyssum, Daisy, Bachelor Buttons, Butterfly Weed, Cadytuft, Columbine, Coneflowers, Coreopsis, Cosmos, Scarlet Flax, Marigold, Poppy and Wallflower. I tossed in more Buttons, and Coneflowers...I couldn't help it.
This area was naked (save a decrepit bush) and I did this last year. Right now I just have some Hosta and Morning Glory planted in there...it will be lush!
My favourite peony and my Teiki Torches.
Pink Hydrangea in here.
I plan on getting some climbing Hydrangeas for this garden bed I did last year. I has Hosta (surprise) and ribbon grass.
I have oodles more pictures, but, I think I'll save some for BEFORE and AFTER garden photos.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I finally went to the long awaited Head Pain Specialist today. It was a long drive and it was wonderful that hubby took tonight off of work so that I would have his company (and his chauffeuring, I am no good with all that city driving).
I'm tired, so you're lucky, I'll be brief. In short the doctor was amazed at the lack of care I was getting. He rediagnosed me to Classic Migraine with Aura from the Hemiplegic Migraine which takes me out of the stroke danger zone and gives me the opportunity for more pain options for intervention. He upped my seizure medication that they prescribed for me as a preventative medication and he gave me two pain relief meds to try. He was appalled that I was only equipped with Tylenol extra strength (the 'migraine' ones are just extra strength with caffeine) He's sending me for an MRI ASAP and there was something else...oh, I go back in 6 weeks. Which is lame, cuz, my migraine times are Feb-May and Sept-Nov....nothing is going to be going on in July people! Wait, it might be to follow up the MRI, that wouldn't be so lame....
I was impressed that he was so efficient with his assessment. He knew what he was doing even though I was not the best patient. Bobby drove me but didn't come in with me. I hate new situations and I was so stressed, but for some stupid reason felt embarrassed about inviting hubby along for the visit. I guess I didn't want him to have to go through that too or something and was trying to save him the snore. It wasn't wise because I ended up asking the doctor to repeat instructions because I was so nervous. I know I've become anti-social with this pain, but, I think it is understandable. I just need space to heal and adapt.
You know that sit com, Home Improvement, and how the family had that HUGE fence between them and Mr. Wilson? I want one. My neighbour BEFORE I had finished talking with hubby when we pulled in the drive, was tapping on my passenger window demanding results. Which everyone is probably thinking, "aw, lucky Liz, that sounds like a sweet neighbour." No, it's not sweet to be forced into social interaction. It's selfish. People seem to want me better cuz they need me for this-that-or-the-other-thing, but, mostly because they're bored. I hate it. I have just spent the last three months of my life battling sanity and fighting the chaos inside my head, I do not want social hour. I want PEACE. I post signs on my door telling people (in a nice way) to go away it's 'Quiet Time' here, and am ignored. I need a fence. A ten foot tall fence with gates....I need privacy and I'm not getting it from people. I feel like there is a pressure to be instantaneously healthy and I'm willing now to accept that I'm not, I wish others would listen to me and give me time and space. No, really....I wish people would see me talking with my husband or child and not interrupt and demand my undivided attention. Wow.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
I must be mad. It's only the beginning of Day two being pain free and the heartache of the past months from migraines is becoming a faded memory. Which is both convenient and inconvenient being that today is the day I FINALLY get to have an interview to see if I will get my nurse practitioner. Which I have 5 minutes here and this is why the blog and not the vlog. I have a tendency to lose track of time when I get talking. Ahhh, I do love talking.
I am laying out my goals for the day and goin' for the gold, peeps.
Asides from the mama school stuff the personal stuff that I have been neglecting and I want to focus on:
1. remember every meal (I have been skipping breakfast and 'making up for it later', because it gets so busy and I neglect my meal).
2. water. I used to be a camel and drink 2 cups of liquid maximum a day. I love that little cup that I can visual fill up in my nutrition tracker, it has been a blessing.
3. cross off my to-do list. I noticed I really fly-by-the-seat-of-my pants and revolve my life around hubby. There is nothing wrong with that. However, I am getting stressed because I lose track of the 'stuff', responsibilities and don't get them done. Of course he thinks it's adorable because I am focusing on him, but, people, the laundry clearly does NOT do itself!!!
4. What was four again?....set a timer for when I'm here, I get lost in time when I get to visiting y'all. It's not really good.
5. Track for the day.
That's the 'Bucket List' for the day. I gotta run. Kids are yelling and Daddy is trying to sleep....and I gotta go to the NP and get the kids passports pics done......
Have a wonderful day everybody!!!
Friday, April 29, 2011
In celebration of the Royal Wedding, I picked Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.
Many may feel it's a dark reminder of Princess Di and her untimely death, but, I couldn't help but think of her today as this was the Dance Party song that was on my drive the day i finally drag my butt to the chiro. It reminded me that she didn't get to be on Earth for her son's wedding and since there are no tears in Heaven I can only imagine that Princess Di was smiling on her son today.
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