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Speaker Magnet

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Holy AWKWARD, Batman!
Today was Orientation, yes, AFTER I've already been working there. That's cool, that's cool. It's a compliment to me that I was The First on-the-spot hire my boss has ever done and they are so very confident that I won't get lost or lose their customers.


No pressure. Nah, We all know I can handle pressure.

I have discovered it is "I" that instigates AWKWARD. I just naturally flag the fruitin' thing down to tango anywhere I go. In a crowd of 5 or 500, the speaker pegs me as their focal balance. You know when you're told in public speaking, " look for a spot on the back wall behind your audience and occasionally glide your eyes from individual to individual"?

Why don't people listen? It's not just there to keep you from barfing, Peeps! Nooooo. It's there for PTSD women with social issues.

Moi. It's all about moi, hello?!

Unfortunately, the speakers today zoned in on me. 5 hours of "blah, blah, blah" and I was their visual anchor.

I'm seriously uncomfortable.

I thought it was the blond hair I'm, the light glows of my helmet hair?
Am I freak and nobody has clued me in?
Do I have boogers?
Did I pop a button?
I even contemplate an ego moment; "Am I like the cutest girl in a room of 'say-no-to-crack' plumbers?" ( I wasn't. There were ski instructors, and the ladies they clearly chose for ornamentation...I was not winning the genetic pool amongst the 20 somethings today).


I am not sending any Bat Signals for undivided attention.
No, I feel like this!:

with more of a grimace for a smile.

In fact I'm inside fighting with myself to smile. People who keep an indifferent facial expression and make minimal eye contact deter others from engaging with them, but are sooooo depressing.

Somehow they see this when they look at me:

I just can't help it! I make eye contact. I'm just too snoopy. I'm trying to read their secrets out of their eyeballs.

I wonder if they had a chaotic morning too. What would they think of me and what I happened to do in the midst of my morning chaos? (I fed the cat my Always pads. Mmmm...tasty. It was by accident.)

Before I knew it I was the focal point when they talked. They figured out that I was engagable (new word ~ Go me).

In the end I just want to be this:

instead of this... emoticon

So, they're helping me crack out of my little chick shell quicker than I want. It is pretty cool that I'm a speaker magnet.

Smile, it keeps you from being bored!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNOT2THICK 12/23/2012 6:52PM

    Embrace the love. You probably made them feel comfortable ( a new super power) emoticon I am so out of touch. Congrats on the job!!

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SNOWANGELDIVA 12/21/2012 4:44PM

    It was my smile ~ it worried them. emoticon

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/21/2012 1:30PM

    That has happened to me too...Maybe you and I have welcoming eyes, a pleasant expression, sweetness and hope and kindness that the speaker is picking up on....light radiating from within....or it could be the blond hair....or a combination of both?

You probably make them feel comfortable.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 12/21/2012 11:17AM


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NANHBH 12/21/2012 12:44AM

    But of course you are a speaker magnet!

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ASRMOM 12/20/2012 11:51PM

    I'm glad y made it bak to us and told us abut it. Maybe you were the only one paying attention in? Sorry they are pushing y so fast out of your shell. But I think you are doing awesome with it.,

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WISHICOULDFLY 12/20/2012 11:19PM

    Face it. You're just mesmerizing. emoticon

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I*AM*BLESSED 12/20/2012 6:54PM

    "Smile, it keeps you from being bored".....AND makes everyone wonder what you are up to!

I'm proud of ya! emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 12/20/2012 5:29PM

    It's all good; it's all good. And let me just say this, many people feel very nervous doing any type of public speaking. To make them feel more confident, they will often latch on to someone in the audience who looks engaged and non-threatening. It gives them confidence. You could be somebody's go-to person, without even knowing it.
It's true.
Trust me.

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Nekkin' Thighs

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

It may be the sunshine, but, I feel free.

Knowing it and feeling it are two different states of being.

You know that saying, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"? Who ever thought that up couldn't cook and didn't have anyone who would cook for them without having an aneurism.
I guess if my options were charcoal and skinny, then, ya. However, if it's been 18 years of perfecting your favourite delicacies then it's a resounding, "HELL NO!"

Feed. Me.

The problem is that though skinny feels fabulous inside and out, food is the heartbeat of a human. It's comfort, joy, bonding, and icebreaker. It's everything divine. Hey, we're having a banquet when we get to Heaven. Did you know that?

A Banquet. Food, like everywhere! PaAaRtay!

(pause for mental listing of your favourite yummies and picturing them being served by angels)

I was sooooo very much created to embrace my adoration of food.

SO, huh?!
I want both.
I want skinny thighs (ya, I will have them. My thighs will stop nekkin') and I want flavour.

SO, I am eating my tasties, feelin' fabulous and gettin' my skinny on by making myself simply PAY ATTENTION to my portions.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBYFROMMT 12/20/2012 9:59AM

    ROFL Mostmom1!!

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/20/2012 12:44AM

    I love MOSTMOM's comment! So funny. You have lovely thighs. I just know it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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NANHBH 12/19/2012 10:29PM

    My thighs will stop nekkin' -- you crack me up! I want my thighs to stop nekkin' too!

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TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/19/2012 10:24PM

    I still have yet to OWN IT!! I'm so proud that you have.... I will one day :D LOVE YOU

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SUECHRIS50 12/19/2012 3:26PM

    love it girl!!

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I*AM*BLESSED 12/19/2012 3:19PM

    You go least someone is being responsible !

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MOSTMOM1 12/19/2012 2:59PM

    Blessed are the portion controllers, for they shall have skinny thighs.
yea, verily

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Just Enjoy the Show

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The wounds of a friend...blah, blah, blah...healthy psychology...blah.

So, I'm going to get in the middle of my BMI. I'm done toying with it. It's like one of those STUPIDO brain teaser toys that I would chuck across a room in frustration or, OR that annoying Rubik Cube that I get 98 percent of the stupid thing figured out and then I just start yanking off stickers. Don't you shake your head at me. I've had one or two (okay one) success legitimately with the thing, but, it wasn't enough.

emoticon [Did you know that the Rubik Cube was a Hungarian invention? Did you know that Harry Houdini was a Hungarian? Do you know that my husband is Canadian-Hungarian? *Do you catch what I'm insinuating with this here parenthesis dialogue?]

Where in blazes am I going with this?
(The neighbourhood is in my livingroom - again. I be thinkin' it's time to start charging a cover charge.)

OH, ya. The point.

I'm not good at brain teasers. They're obnoxious. They require more than a gnat's attention span and frustrate the hell out of me. Because my dear Sparklers I live the life of a gnat...bouncing here, there and everywhere in a furious frenzy.

(Ignore how it looks initially. I've changed my goal weight. It was originally 170 and those little triangles and that line were molesting each other the entire journey and taking turns as to who gets the top. Yes, yes, I went there.

I was checking out my weight slide this fall. It was around my birthday. A particularly stressful month. Thanksgiving emoticon and family feuds, and memories of my father's birthday and the utter shame of his passing. I know I 'let go' and just don't give a damn. Then things began compounding. Grocery money was gone two weeks before pay day, but, I have yet to figure out how to pause a child's stomach. I've been fighting for my Tank's care in an incident of bullying...blah, blah, blah.
I just stopped caring about myself. That took emotional energy that I no longer possessed.

I examined my weight chart. In one month (fine - two weeks) I slapped on 11 pounds.

*OUCH* SparkPeople, I'm glad that you like to tell the truth, but, *OUCH!*

I'd like to say that I know where they came from but "coincidentally" I hadn't been logging my consumption. I stopped hanging out in a healthy environment. I may have been here in body but not spirit. I was too wrapped up in trying to figure out the 'secret' to Perfection.

Good news.
I'm just gonna grab it.
I don't hafta know the intricacies of the lightbulb (Thanks anyway, Mr.McKenna, it was fun having you 'light up my life'). I'm just gonna flip the switch and use the damn thing.
I don't hafta know the who, what, when where or why of a gift. I'm just gonna unwrap it and throroughly enjoy ~ The Present.

I am riding the wagon again. I think I'll just hand cuff myself to it. We know that I won't be able to escape my healthy-me. This way if I try to go on some useless exploration I won't be able to stray far. No. I'll probably be bouncing of the side and wheel (hanging by the handcuffs), but, it'll be easier to stay on track with:
~ logging my intake
~ doing my water
~ and stopping with trying to figure out this Houdini. I'm just gonna enjoy the show.

Side note(s):
*My husband is a Transformer - There's more than what meets the eye. He really is more than eye candy. Wha?!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 12/19/2012 10:36PM

    Your hubby is definitely eye candy to us
emoticon !

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TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/19/2012 10:22PM

    LOL, you know Mr McKenna would be proud :D

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DEBBYFROMMT 12/19/2012 9:28AM

    How about sodukos?

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WISHICOULDFLY 12/18/2012 11:50PM

    You HAVE been going through a rough patch but you are headed on the right path now. I think your job will give you a much needed outlet and diversion. Sometimes you can totally immerse yourself in your children and then lose YOU. When THAT happens everyone loses. Bless you! emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 12/18/2012 10:18PM

    I can do one side of the Rubik's cube and that's good enough for me. You can have a lot of fun with good enough, while you're bouncing around on the wagon. You really can. Please, do NOT try to dislocate your shoulder or something, to escape Houdini-style...
emoticon emoticon

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Superwoman seen through the Lenses of Love

Monday, December 17, 2012

“You’re my idol.”

(a.k.a. - me speechless)
I shook the phone like a wii remote...d@mn glitchy thing. Maybe the battery is dying, cuz,


“You’re always so bubbly, energetic and such a go-getter...”
Pregnant pause then a pleading...
“What’s your secret?”

{All said in a thick, feminine British Accent. God Bless accents.]

I have no idea who she is talking about.
I want to BE that woman, but, I don’t think I am.
I don’t see myself like she sees me.
I am a pessimistic, insecure and overall a cowardly woman.

I had this ridiculous urge to tear myself down to prove how undeserving I am of her high opinion. I divulged personal stuff that our family has been going through. We shared brief life stories. After trying to point out to her that I do not, under ANY circumstances belong a pedestal, she said,

“You’re Superwoman.”

She’s not a ‘silly’ personality that throws out flattery like confetti. She’s introverted, reflective and calm. She was being serious, not flippant. For real!

[If my neighbour goes missing, I have her in my pocket where she’s close at hand to pump up my ego. Her hubby and three kids may miss her, but, that’s a risk I’m willing to take, even if her son calls me every night asking if I have time for him and promises to make me french toast. I'm arranging for my daughter to marry the 8 year old....the 5 year old or the 13; I'm keeping this little charmer.]

I’ve been looking at myself and treating myself as I would a bratty child that I am not allowed to train. I just try to placate my temper tantrums and make it to the next day. I talk to myself with empty motivational speeches and wishes for time to evaporate. I’ve been treating myself as a disposable relationship. I have not been investing in myself. I stopped loving myself.

My courage ran away. Fear crept in with every jealous, critical remark that I allowed to tattoo itself on my soul. I stopped looking at myself through the lense of love, but, of the world and it's jealousy.

How can a neighbour have a higher opinion of me than I do? She has chosen to look through the lense of love. Which floors me due to its rarity.

If I have anything that is notable, it is Glory to God.

Wait...I need to use those same lense of love on myself.

I do have blessings:
~ I have Mr. Right.
He is faithful in all things. He has never given me a moments hesitation in my position as his wife,
He is masculine almost to the point of chauvinistic; this is one of the primary reasons I adore him. The arrogance, endurance and raw power that belong to my manly man compliment my more fragile nature. My man is a rock.

~ I have a bunch of kids. We’re a happy, functional family filled with so many personalities and tons of love. There will not be any appearances on Jerry Springer.

~ I have employment that I love. It really is sheer bliss to clean undisturbed. It is so nice not homeschooling this year. Well, not homeschooling all five.

~ I am healthy, kinda-sorta cute and I know how to have fun.

~ I have a gorgeous Victorian home.

(Oh MY GOSH, I could go on forever!)

In short ~ Glory to God.
I didn’t conjure up these blessings. They were all given to me.

I just accepted His love. In order to do that I need to make room in my hands to receive, so, I lay down fear and have my hands wide open for His Showers of Blessing.

It's all about accepting His love.

[Yes, this ALL went through my head before I responded to her with...]

“My secret, (my studious, adorable British lady) is...Prayer.”

Her response, “I thought so, so I’ve been doing that. You really have no idea how fabulous you are.”

My success revolves around my relationship with the Creator of the Universe. If I choose to build my life on sand instead, the success is fleeting. He is fabulous.

I’m just like the Moon...trying to reflect the ‘Son’...moment by moment..

Thank you, Lord for giving me Lenses of Love.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNOT2THICK 12/19/2012 4:37PM

    Amen. Prayer and acceptance. Yes, Diva, you are awesome, own your blessing(s)!!!!! I say it all the time. So happy you have someone local to reinforce the obvious emoticon emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 12/19/2012 4:17PM

    Amen. Prayer and acceptance. Yes, Diva, you are awesome, own your blessing(s)!!!!! I say it all the time. So happy you have someone local to reinforce the obvious emoticon emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 12/19/2012 4:06PM

    Amen. Prayer and acceptance. Yes, Diva, you are awesome, own your blessing(s)!!!!! I say it all the time. So happy you have someone local to reinforce the obvious emoticon emoticon

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WILDASTER 12/19/2012 9:38AM

    I'm so glad you have her for a friend. We all do better with a friend who reminds us of our blessings and who love us as we are.

You are a blessing to us here too.

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/18/2012 11:35AM

    You are emoticon and I love the answer you gave. We are blessed and how can we really take credit for all we've been given? But you are pretty special and it's great to have people remind you from time to time.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 12/18/2012 10:17AM

    Beautiful emoticon

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TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/18/2012 9:39AM

    AWESOME!!!! As are you xoxoxo

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TEXASFILLY 12/18/2012 1:53AM

    emoticon What's not to love, dear heart! You are a treasure and a joy! I'm so happy for you, sweet Lizzie~ *hugs* Thank you for sharing your joy & may the Good Lord continue to bless and keep you~ love ya, gal~ *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 12/17/2012 10:22PM

    I'm beyond glad that you are finding in-person friends who recognize you for the amazing woman you are. 'Bout time! Good things are heaping up all around you. Give love, receive love, and do the happy dance!

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I love my job

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The one I don't get paid for and this Chambermaid one.

I was told that a lot of ladies bail before the first day is through because it's so physically demanding.

Thank God, I've dropped 60+lbs. I was able to keep up and then some.

I really enjoy doing my work and getting paid for it. At home I'm the Maid, but, not paid or with space respect. No one is under my feet destroying my work at the Resort.

So far, so awesome.
Off to spend time with the family. I'm scheduled to work throughout the holidays. During the interview I was asked what days I would want off. No one got the holidays off, so, I'm glad I didn't request time off when asked.

It was a test; everyone is working.

Oh, people, please tip your maids. Do you seriously think it's fun rummaging through your ickies for minimum wage?

(The answer is: no.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITKAT717 12/26/2012 9:08AM

    I am a new SAHM and wish you much luck with the new job!!

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 12/23/2012 12:09AM

    I'm so thrilled that you are happy! Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your time with the family.

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TEENY_BIKINI 12/22/2012 9:00PM

    You rock!


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RUNNERRACHEL 12/17/2012 11:33AM

    Great job! You're a hard worker. Hope you make tips and keep enjoying your work!

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TARAFROMTX1 12/16/2012 11:45PM

    I am so very Happy for you Liz!!! emoticon Rock it my friend!!

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MOSTMOM1 12/16/2012 11:27PM

    YAY YOU!!!!!!!!!
I'm super proud of you, kiddo!

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LYNNGINN1 12/16/2012 10:02PM

    Great that you found something you enjoy and get $ to boot - Happy for you! emoticon

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TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/16/2012 9:43PM

    Thats awesome that you had fun, I knew you'd rock it :D When you're rummaging do you get to wear gloves??? If not I'm sending LOADS of hand sanitizer your way :D Love you soooo much :D

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WILDASTER 12/16/2012 8:10PM

    So glad you like the job!

We do tip the maid, when we go anywhere which isn't very often.

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WINNIE1978 12/16/2012 7:55PM

    I'm glad you are liking the new job. It's so much easier to go to work when you enjoy what you are doing.

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LIVINHEALTHY9 12/16/2012 7:38PM

    Glad you are liking the new job. That's always a plus.
It's much harder when you hate the job but want the money.

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WISHICOULDFLY 12/16/2012 6:37PM

    I KNEW you would love it. Methinks the family will also appreciate you a little more now! emoticon I remember being a SAHM and feeling totally taken for granted. It IS nice to be formally recognized for your efforts at a paid job. Enjoy your time with the family now as I am sure they are all in Mom Withdrawal!

Comment edited on: 12/16/2012 6:38:00 PM

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I*AM*BLESSED 12/16/2012 6:35PM

    So happy you're happy! emoticon

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