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Superwoman seen through the Lenses of Love

Monday, December 17, 2012



“You’re my idol.”
?

(a.k.a. - me speechless)
I shook the phone like a wii remote...d@mn glitchy thing. Maybe the battery is dying, cuz,

?!

“You’re always so bubbly, energetic and such a go-getter...”
Pregnant pause then a pleading...
“What’s your secret?”

{All said in a thick, feminine British Accent. God Bless accents.]

I have no idea who she is talking about.
I want to BE that woman, but, I don’t think I am.
I don’t see myself like she sees me.
I am a pessimistic, insecure and overall a cowardly woman.

I had this ridiculous urge to tear myself down to prove how undeserving I am of her high opinion. I divulged personal stuff that our family has been going through. We shared brief life stories. After trying to point out to her that I do not, under ANY circumstances belong a pedestal, she said,

“You’re Superwoman.”

She’s not a ‘silly’ personality that throws out flattery like confetti. She’s introverted, reflective and calm. She was being serious, not flippant. For real!

[If my neighbour goes missing, I have her in my pocket where she’s close at hand to pump up my ego. Her hubby and three kids may miss her, but, that’s a risk I’m willing to take, even if her son calls me every night asking if I have time for him and promises to make me french toast. I'm arranging for my daughter to marry the 8 year old....the 5 year old or the 13; I'm keeping this little charmer.]

I’ve been looking at myself and treating myself as I would a bratty child that I am not allowed to train. I just try to placate my temper tantrums and make it to the next day. I talk to myself with empty motivational speeches and wishes for time to evaporate. I’ve been treating myself as a disposable relationship. I have not been investing in myself. I stopped loving myself.

My courage ran away. Fear crept in with every jealous, critical remark that I allowed to tattoo itself on my soul. I stopped looking at myself through the lense of love, but, of the world and it's jealousy.

How can a neighbour have a higher opinion of me than I do? She has chosen to look through the lense of love. Which floors me due to its rarity.

If I have anything that is notable, it is Glory to God.

Wait...I need to use those same lense of love on myself.

I do have blessings:
~ I have Mr. Right.
He is faithful in all things. He has never given me a moments hesitation in my position as his wife,
He is masculine almost to the point of chauvinistic; this is one of the primary reasons I adore him. The arrogance, endurance and raw power that belong to my manly man compliment my more fragile nature. My man is a rock.

~ I have a bunch of kids. We’re a happy, functional family filled with so many personalities and tons of love. There will not be any appearances on Jerry Springer.

~ I have employment that I love. It really is sheer bliss to clean undisturbed. It is so nice not homeschooling this year. Well, not homeschooling all five.

~ I am healthy, kinda-sorta cute and I know how to have fun.

~ I have a gorgeous Victorian home.

(Oh MY GOSH, I could go on forever!)

In short ~ Glory to God.
I didn’t conjure up these blessings. They were all given to me.

I just accepted His love. In order to do that I need to make room in my hands to receive, so, I lay down fear and have my hands wide open for His Showers of Blessing.

It's all about accepting His love.

[Yes, this ALL went through my head before I responded to her with...]

“My secret, (my studious, adorable British lady) is...Prayer.”

Her response, “I thought so, so I’ve been doing that. You really have no idea how fabulous you are.”

My success revolves around my relationship with the Creator of the Universe. If I choose to build my life on sand instead, the success is fleeting. He is fabulous.

I’m just like the Moon...trying to reflect the ‘Son’...moment by moment..

Thank you, Lord for giving me Lenses of Love.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNOT2THICK 12/19/2012 4:37PM

    Amen. Prayer and acceptance. Yes, Diva, you are awesome, own your blessing(s)!!!!! I say it all the time. So happy you have someone local to reinforce the obvious emoticon emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 12/19/2012 4:17PM

    Amen. Prayer and acceptance. Yes, Diva, you are awesome, own your blessing(s)!!!!! I say it all the time. So happy you have someone local to reinforce the obvious emoticon emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 12/19/2012 4:06PM

    Amen. Prayer and acceptance. Yes, Diva, you are awesome, own your blessing(s)!!!!! I say it all the time. So happy you have someone local to reinforce the obvious emoticon emoticon

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WILDASTER 12/19/2012 9:38AM

    I'm so glad you have her for a friend. We all do better with a friend who reminds us of our blessings and who love us as we are.

You are a blessing to us here too.



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RUNNERRACHEL 12/18/2012 11:35AM

    You are emoticon and I love the answer you gave. We are blessed and how can we really take credit for all we've been given? But you are pretty special and it's great to have people remind you from time to time.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 12/18/2012 10:17AM

    Beautiful emoticon

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TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/18/2012 9:39AM

    AWESOME!!!! As are you xoxoxo

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TEXASFILLY 12/18/2012 1:53AM

    emoticon What's not to love, dear heart! You are a treasure and a joy! I'm so happy for you, sweet Lizzie~ *hugs* Thank you for sharing your joy & may the Good Lord continue to bless and keep you~ love ya, gal~ *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 12/17/2012 10:22PM

    I'm beyond glad that you are finding in-person friends who recognize you for the amazing woman you are. 'Bout time! Good things are heaping up all around you. Give love, receive love, and do the happy dance!
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I love my job

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The one I don't get paid for and this Chambermaid one.

I was told that a lot of ladies bail before the first day is through because it's so physically demanding.

Thank God, I've dropped 60+lbs. I was able to keep up and then some.

I really enjoy doing my work and getting paid for it. At home I'm the Maid, but, not paid or with space respect. No one is under my feet destroying my work at the Resort.

So far, so awesome.
Off to spend time with the family. I'm scheduled to work throughout the holidays. During the interview I was asked what days I would want off. No one got the holidays off, so, I'm glad I didn't request time off when asked.

It was a test; everyone is working.

Oh, people, please tip your maids. Do you seriously think it's fun rummaging through your ickies for minimum wage?

(The answer is: no.)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITKAT717 12/26/2012 9:08AM

    I am a new SAHM and wish you much luck with the new job!!

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 12/23/2012 12:09AM

    I'm so thrilled that you are happy! Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your time with the family.

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TEENY_BIKINI 12/22/2012 9:00PM

    You rock!

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/17/2012 11:33AM

    Great job! You're a hard worker. Hope you make tips and keep enjoying your work!

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TARAFROMTX1 12/16/2012 11:45PM

    I am so very Happy for you Liz!!! emoticon Rock it my friend!!

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MOSTMOM1 12/16/2012 11:27PM

    YAY YOU!!!!!!!!!
I'm super proud of you, kiddo!
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LYNNGINN1 12/16/2012 10:02PM

    Great that you found something you enjoy and get $ to boot - Happy for you! emoticon

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TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/16/2012 9:43PM

    Thats awesome that you had fun, I knew you'd rock it :D When you're rummaging do you get to wear gloves??? If not I'm sending LOADS of hand sanitizer your way :D Love you soooo much :D

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WILDASTER 12/16/2012 8:10PM

    So glad you like the job!

We do tip the maid, when we go anywhere which isn't very often.

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WINNIE1978 12/16/2012 7:55PM

    I'm glad you are liking the new job. It's so much easier to go to work when you enjoy what you are doing.

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LIVINHEALTHY9 12/16/2012 7:38PM

    Glad you are liking the new job. That's always a plus.
It's much harder when you hate the job but want the money.


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WISHICOULDFLY 12/16/2012 6:37PM

    I KNEW you would love it. Methinks the family will also appreciate you a little more now! emoticon I remember being a SAHM and feeling totally taken for granted. It IS nice to be formally recognized for your efforts at a paid job. Enjoy your time with the family now as I am sure they are all in Mom Withdrawal!

Comment edited on: 12/16/2012 6:38:00 PM

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I*AM*BLESSED 12/16/2012 6:35PM

    So happy you're happy! emoticon

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Thank you for the support!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


I got the job as a maid at the Ski Resort! Hence the pretty little picture above. I'm a SnowBunnyMaid, but, this is not my uniform. I will however, pretend it is and make the scrubs and sneakers seem attractive.


I've been a Homemaker for 15 years and my job is the best job in the entire world.

Throw motherhood on top of it and we have Heaven-On-Earth.

So, I figured I'd have another decade in this 'profession' . Plenty of time to figure out if I wanted to continue with Graphic Design or find a completely different career. I figured it would happen when all five kiddies left the nest. I would be accustomed to sleep deprivation, no personal focus and well, being ridiculously overworked and actually look forward to a change of pace.

My decade turned into months and an external, paid occupation was no longer an option but a need.

Commence New Lifestyle, um, now!

I HATE change. I HATE surprises.
This was a two-for-one. Which I also HATE because sometimes those sales LIE and they're ripping you off and I HATE being lied to.
(Getting the picture?)

At first I ignored our need because I'm afraid of people. I LOVE people, but, they scare me. I thought with that decade I'd have figured what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would have P.T.S.D. taken care of.

Nope. I figured wrong. There is still not a career that I'm "in love" with and I'm still nervous around people. I hide it amazingly well, and do an excellent impression of an extrovert, but, it's exhausting keeping up that facade.

Employers like extroverts. The P.T.S.D. Interfered in my job search and delayed my efforts. I couldn't keep this act up. It deprived me of my much coveted sleep and generally paralyzed me with fear the past two months.

I tried to ignore our needs, but, kids do not appreciate an empty fridge.
{Kids are like strays, you feed 'em they're really hard to get rid of and noisy when they're hungry.}

Today I was repetitively asked when I went for my interview, "Are you sure you don't want _____ job instead, you only want to be a maid?"

It was a moment of reflection for me.

"...Only a maid"? You think I'm being ambitiousless because I don't want to cash in on my act?

The way I see it is now I'm getting paid to do what I've been doing for the past few decades.
AND
I get to have NO kids under my feet undoing everything
AND
it'll be quiet environment being all alone in the room..no creepies...
AND
I love the work!
AND
I can now do 8 hours a day of activity. I do not want a job where I have to try to figure out when I'm going to get my fitness in. My job is bending, stretching, carrying and walking ~ active.

It is the PERFECT job for me right now.

I mentioned now I'm getting paid, right?

The interviewer said, "This interview has made my day, this is fantastic. We are so very fortunate to have you aboard." Then she called me two more times before I even made it home, to speed up the process of getting me onboard.

Tomorrow, I begin as maid at a Ski Resort ( It was supposed to be the 23rd.)





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWYLIGHTWUNDER 12/16/2012 9:45PM

    Well done :D

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HOPEFILL 12/16/2012 6:39PM

    You're a rockstar! It's such an amazing feat to simply understand what makes us happiest. It's so easy to confuse others' expectations with our own wishes.

Congratulations!!!

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WINNIE1978 12/15/2012 9:44PM

    Congrats on the new job! emoticon

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ECLIPSED 12/15/2012 7:45AM

    See what I miss when I'm not here????? Congrats on the new job!
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JULIAMOONCHILD 12/14/2012 8:16PM

    BIG Congrats Snow Bunny! emoticon emoticon

I am proud of you for going with something that fits YOUR needs rather than society's ego. BRAVO!!!

It's funny, too, cuz loving people, just like you do, yet desperately not wanting to be thrown into the WORLD again one day, I always thought a maid type job would fit me perfectly, if ever I am able to return to the work force.

A job is just a job, no matter what it is. We get them in order to make extra money. And no matter where a person's hangs his/her job hat - most of us simply want to RUSH HOME at the end of the day - Back to our REAL world.
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MOSTMOM1 12/14/2012 9:21AM

    Who knows, someday they may commission you to paint a mural. Anything could happen...
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I seriously need to get my passport now. Did you see that you have Zorbs there??

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WILDASTER 12/13/2012 10:00PM

    Congratulations! Close to home, and brings in a nice paycheck. If you decide you want to do something else later you can, I think you will enjoy it and it can be a low stress job.

I worked for Merry Maids when I was just out of High school. Great experience, nice gals on my team and done by 3!

They will so enjoy your energy and joy.

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SPARKLINGME176 12/13/2012 5:13PM

    PS... LOVE the Maid outfit! You would look FABULOUS in it!

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MIBELLALUNA 12/13/2012 5:05PM

    I must insist you do vlogs while your working! Got a flipcam? lol

Kudos to you. While I 'should' do something financially productive...well....I guess I am caregiving at the moment, whether I like it or not.

You will rock it, no question!!!

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 12/13/2012 1:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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QUEENMOXIE 12/13/2012 7:20AM

    I think it would be really cool to work at a ski resort. Are you going to change your name to Snow Bunny Diva? I bet you'll have a lot of fun! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENNY160 12/13/2012 12:01AM

    Do ya get a free season lift ticket pass?

It amazes me when someone doesn't realize how many calories are burned cleaning. I am usually a sweaty mess when I attack a room.

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LJCANNON 12/12/2012 10:57PM

    emoticon Congratulations!!! I know you will be the Best Snow Bunny Maid they have EVER Had!!

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SPARKLINGME176 12/12/2012 10:02PM

    I am SO darn happy for you, I could BURST into song.... I think I will! Have you seen "ENCHANTED" 2007 My fav. film! I'm singing THE HAPPY WORKING SONG, right NOW! Your attitude is GREAT! emoticon

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ALLISON145 12/12/2012 9:49PM

    Congratulations!!! You'll be great!

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ADVENTURESEEKER 12/12/2012 9:28PM

    Way to go on your new job! You will totally rock it! AAAnd get paid!! AAAnd get exercise. Have fun!

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LIVINHEALTHY9 12/12/2012 9:25PM

    Good luck with your new job!
You will get a lot of exercise and get to meet new and interesting people.


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I*AM*BLESSED 12/12/2012 8:34PM

    Yay..."Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"....yay, YOU! I'm proud of you, girlfriend!

What a great job, too! Work, exercise and PAY all rolled into one...what will they think of next?

Seriously, SO happy for you! emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 12/12/2012 7:49PM

    I predict that you will run circles around everyone else. They will be dazzled by your mad skills and your keen sense of sizing up obstacles and calculating the most efficient approach to conquering ANY obstacle. Not having been in this business (yet having YEARS of experience running a household), you will be coming in with fresh eyes and and will be invaluable to them. In short, They're gonna LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you!!!

Added bonus that you will be burning all those calories too. Maybe you will get ski discounts? Oooh! I am SO EXCITED for you....AND selfishly for ME. Because, you just KNOW this will provide ALL KINDS of INTERESTING stuff for you to blog about! emoticon Just wait until you see what goes on! My daughter was a maid at a Bed & Breakfast and had us laughing our A$$ES off with her tales.

Get your rest tonight! Go get 'em tomorrow! -Connie

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_JODI404 12/12/2012 7:39PM

    emoticon

emoticon on facing fear and DOING it!! I'm glad you found something that meets your needs now!

Best wishes. I know you'll make the best of it!!

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TROPICALFISHI 12/12/2012 7:38PM

    YAY for new jobs! I'm proud of you! Love you! emoticon

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DAWNESS0404 12/12/2012 7:20PM

    Congratulations on the new job! emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 12/12/2012 7:18PM

    Never mind, I just saw that it's at a ski resort. Go you!!

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MOSTMOM1 12/12/2012 7:17PM

    I've been wondering all day how that interview went. I'm so glad you got the job. They are lucky to have you! Is it in a hotel or what? Nothing at all wrong with having transition jobs, in between the ones you dream of, nothing at all. You will be the best maid they ever had. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people." (Colossians 3:23 GNT) Get a good night's sleep! I'm proud of you!
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PARKERB2 12/12/2012 7:01PM

    Enjoy the job and the benefits you are going to get out of it. The money is good too,

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Now I lay me...

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Shhh...think it, don't say it.
What, are we in the 15th century?

Just because you sit in McDonalds it doesn't make you a hamburger anymore than sitting in church makes you a Christian. I know you've heard that one before. I'm going to share my church experience.

I think I despise the pharisitical philosophy that we bury everything unpleasant. How healthy is that? You think that it won't come back and sneak a chunk outta yer arse in the future? Please, it's a lesson to be learned and if we can't learn from each other when we share our journies then we in a very sad way brothers and sisters.

So, if you're here to thumb your nose at me - shoo. I don't want to play with you.

When we moved to this hole-in-the-wall community we left a transient church. Hubby was a Deacon at an affiliate and when the church planters left, a piece of us did and that sucked. So, we were already in limbo when we landed here and then church planters came to plant a church in this community. Hubby worked insane, but, when he was there he was again a deacon. I got to be trustee, sunday school teacher and secretary. Things went way sour when I became the punching bag to a severely controlling, critical pastor's wife. I hate seeing women leash their men and I refuse to be leashed for the sake of spiritual conformity. She felt we were 'called' to take over.
I didn't hear the Divine phone ring and neither did my hubby.
We left when issues were not resolved.
It was painful.

So we found a new church. I went alone the first time with hubs working insane again and from day one the pastor thought I was someone I wasn't and his wife thought he was hitting on me. I stuck it out as long as I could stand the guys' leering and the girls' glaring. I'm quite jealous of my man, she is human so, I cut her some slack for being mean. I have no idea what was going on with the rest of them, but, I just tried to be invisible. When I needed some help with depression, I had a pastor that was eager to help, but, I chose to sink to spare his wife's imagination.

No one has been going to church in our family since I sunk. I ended up dragging everyone down. We were one of those families that lived at church every day of the week, helping out in one way or another. When I did go back to that last one there's some kind of attitude that I'm an object to be claimed. People stealing lingering looks and women pouring on the glares. I finally woke up to the fact that this was the last place on earth Jesus would want for me to be. He cherishes me. I can't cure confused and I can't let this spirit continue to poison me.
I had to let go.

I missed having a church family. It's been 7 years since I had that group of people that felt like family. Today I found a fun, friendly, and faithful bunch of believers that didn't cast territorial glares, ignore or dismiss my girls and I. It's a tiny church.

It was like having a tall drink of refreshing water after being baked in the sun; refreshing, therapeutic and revitalizing.

So, it looks like Church Family is emoticon

Tomorrow I get back to the grindstone looking for a job. If it's in town I only need part time, but, if I have to leave town I need it to be full time to pay for gas and second vehicle. I intially felt when I was done teaching the kids at home that I would go back to school. However, this transition came a decade and a half earlier than anticipated and it left my felling side-blinded emotionally and I don't have a career. I tried to rush the process, but, I just want a job that allows me to feel safe.

Do tired. I'll visit more later. Good night.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIAMOONCHILD 12/14/2012 8:23PM

    Providence
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WISHICOULDFLY 12/10/2012 8:52PM

    I had a very similar experience and ended up giving up on a church family. I'm glad you did not give up and found yours. emoticon

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WILDASTER 12/10/2012 4:58PM

    I'm happy to hear about your new church! It is a refreshing place when everyone is being nice and acting like mature Christian adults. I hope it will be a great family for you!



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I*AM*BLESSED 12/10/2012 9:07AM

    So glad you are happy with the new church. Just be your sweet, caring self and it will work out for all involved. Besides...God loves you and that's all that really matters!

Oh...and I love you, too! emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 12/10/2012 7:53AM

    I'm SO glad you've found a church family!!!!! That can be like good medicine for your soul. Hope you start making friends soon. Sharing the journey with other believers makes all the difference in the world.
I'm also hoping you can find something part-time, that's close to home. Unless, of course, there's something amazingly awesome that opens up not too terribly far away. Keep us posted!
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QUEENMOXIE 12/10/2012 7:28AM

    I hope that everything works out for you with your new church family. I hope that they love you as much as your SP friends do. I hope you find an awesome job soon! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSLORI5 12/9/2012 11:31PM

    Thank you for your openness in this blog! I am an elder's wife, have been one for 13 yrs. now and really struggle with the whole personalities thing in the church sometimes, but then I have to remember that all churches are imperfect, full of imperfect people, because after all if we were all perfect, we wouldn't need to be in church, right? However, that does not mean we have to put up with being hurt purposely by each other, so I am thankful God has led you to a group of people who will help you grow closer to the Lord, instead of dreading to be with them! I wish you many blessings and great fortune in your job pursuits, too! Have an awesome week!

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Kickin' It Old School

Friday, December 07, 2012


I've joined a challenge with the Hula Hoop All-Stars of 30 minutes of hooping a day for the month of December.

Um. Ya.

I'm also doing Spark Guy's 10 minutes a day.

Hmm.

Today's SParticle focused on holiday stress. I just thought I was 'losing it'. Good news (for me anyway), I'm normal. It encouraged me to keep an emotional, and financial balance. Part of that balance is fitness. I just need to work on remembering how my 10 minutes of fitness a day keeps me sane.

I got to thinking about being a woman that works from home with either the desk top work or homeschooling and the quick fitness that I can throw into a day to help keep this balance.

Today, I kicked it old school. My favourite aunt demonstrated this to me in the kitchen when I was little. Whenever I'm waiting for my coffee, the kettle or there is a brief moment of quiet before dragging five children out of bed I do it.

Have a fabulous day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOPEFULCHANGE 12/14/2012 12:55PM

    You look incredible snow!! Love "kickin' it old school", fun stuff! Keep rockin' it! You're inspiring and motivating others!!

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WONDERFUL2BME 12/11/2012 5:08AM

    What a great idea!

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SPARKLINGME176 12/10/2012 9:20PM

    No, YOU rock! Thanks for the goodie!

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MOSTMOM1 12/10/2012 7:57AM

    Wait, I have to stop and see if I can do that.
Wow!
I can do that. Sort of. My hobbit leg isn't entirely straight. But it counts.
Kick it Old School!
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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 12/9/2012 6:25PM

    Good luck on all your challenges this month. Im sure you will rock them.

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WISHICOULDFLY 12/9/2012 11:49AM

    Alright, alright. NOW you've got me kicking in my kitchen. emoticon

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IMOJANE 12/7/2012 9:54AM

    "gotta make sure no kids are in the way" - CLASSIC. Love it :)

That first one you do is actually SO good as a warm up as well before working out, it's a really great active stretch. Thanks for reminding me! Have a nice day.

uhm. I REALLY LOVE your jeans.

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BECKYSFRIEND 12/7/2012 8:16AM

    emoticon

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RHONDA-MULKEY 12/7/2012 7:48AM

    emoticon Love your Spark Page. Have a great weekend!

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DMEYER4 12/7/2012 7:48AM

  keep up the good work and have a happy holiday

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