Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I weigh-in usually on Mondays, but, this week is exciting for me because I`ve been hoping to see this blessed event for years.
This morning I popped onto the scale, just hoping that I would be inching closer to getting out of 200ville and 198.8 appeared int the screen. I was shocked. I was tempted not to do a do-over, cuz, well, if it was a dream I wanted it to stay that way. However, I popped back on for a double-take and there it was again; 198.8.I am officially in ONEderland.
My next bring-me-to-my-tears-is-this-like-one-of-t
he-best-days-of-my-life-or-what, will be when I break 190. I haven`t seen lower then 190 since somewhere around 2004. Between baby 3 and 4.
I`m posting a link that reminds me of THE biggest WOO HOO moment in my life. Please check it out. It's inspiring, I promise.
I am the first-born to a farmer and a homemaker. My father was an alcoholic. The night I was born my father was arrested. My early years were filled with the turmoil of watching the two people I loved most choose to hate each other. I was Daddy`s girl. When mom packed my sisters and I up in the dead of the night upon discovering that Dad had been whoring around and had blown grocery money on booze and women; my father burnt our house down that night. They couldn`t prove it. He admitted to it years later on his death bed. Time moved on and my Mom found a man. For the remainder of my childhood my `step-dad`was more like, Mom`s Boyfriend~only, and I grew up without a male bond in my life. I was `messed with` by our male babysitter, and an uncle. Every image of woman being thrown in my direction was that women were disposable. By the time I was 10, I was excelling in everything, and in every enrichment program the schools could get their hands for me, but, I was lonely and depressed....I did not want to be disposable and it just seemed like it was inevitable.
THEN, when I was in the sixth grade my Science teacher handed us the coveted Gideon Bible. In our school it was a sign of prestige; you were considered mature when you had access to a Bible. Our teacher gave us 15 minutes to read this insert and make the biggest decision of our lives. This is what I read, October 21, 1986:
Become a Christian
Many people are looking for God. If you're one of those people, we'd like to share with you that the Bible has what you are seeking. It contains answers to life's vital questions, and—most important—can help you understand how to have a right relationship with God. Here are some selected verses:
God Loves You
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. —John 3:16
(So, I`m not disposable...I have a purpose and it`s not to be a boy toy)
All Are Sinners. Sin has no place in Heaven.
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. —Romans 3:23
(everybody has done something...even me at the age of 10 shoving my sister down the stairs was wrong and written somewhere!....if not that then the lie that I told about NOT doing it surely was)
As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one. —Romans 3:10
(I knew the difference between right and wrong...but was choosing wrong and by default was not choosing Heaven. I learned that Heaven was not a default location or a place you can bribe your way into. I realized I was not going where I wanted to be.)
God's Remedy for Sin
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. —Romans 6:23
(Death would be Hell. Life would be Heaven, Hmmmm....I had a decision to make. Will I let someone else that can pay the debt I owe and can`t possibly pay, pay it for me....)
But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. —John 1:12
(I could have a Father....as I said in vlogs previous, my Dad and I reconciled before I buried him when I was 24, but, at 10 I was given the chance to be loved unconditionally, cherished completely, freed from the debt of sin I owed, a life everlasting in place where there was no tears...in the Bible it says that Heaven is filled with likes of little children. Childlike faith. Plain and simple.)
All May Be Saved Now
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him. —Revelation 3:20(a)
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. —Romans 10:13 (My FAV is Rom.10:9)
But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name. —John 20:31
I love this ONEderland, but, it`s Gloryland that keeps me going.
Receive Christ as Your Savior Now...Pray the Following Prayer
Confessing to God that I am a sinner, and believing that the Lord Jesus Christ died for my sins on the cross and was raised for my justification, I now receive and confess Him as my personal Savior.
If you are returning to this blog and have found that your comment has been deleted it is because I have the freedom to delete as you have the freedom not to read if you`re offended. I`m am celebrating another milestone in my life and am looking forward to sharing this with anyone that accepts me in my whole package.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The second I discovered my skirt was too big, I ran downstairs to share the joy. No second thought....nothin', but, pure delight. I'm not a size 18 anymore?! I didn't know because I live in elastic banded pants with pull-strings. I'm not a fashion bug. This skirt I haven't worn since October......I'm goin' nekked to church...
Relax, I found an elastic waist skirt ...I'm clothed, we're good..
WOO HOO!!!! I'm gonna ride this high for a loooooooong time.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Short, sweet, and simple. So quick, even I missed the point.
You owe me HANKENSTEIN for makin' this one brief!
I had a 12minute one made and uploaded this morning...called, Call First or WALK THE PLANK, but, it was just a rant about Ontario health care and not having a doctor for my family in 3 years and how I made a contraption to drown the rats that are migrating from the grocery store....I guess that coulda stayed up. I wanted you to see my Bobby....
Sunday, March 06, 2011
I have a mile long list but I'm gritting my teeth doing my level best not to go on a crying jag and tackle the candy stash. I figure if I get the distress off my chest I can then focus on the work I have to get done before service tomorrow.
I have a neurological disease commonly known as Migraine. I have a specific type called Hemiplegic Migraines and it makes it difficult to treat because the symptoms are similar to stroke. They have to be particularly careful with me because my little sister had a stroke in her 30's and it's a genetic nasty thing. I'm allowed a selection of treatment options.
The symptoms of an attack are depression, slurred speech, confusion, partial paralysis of extremities, and part of my face goes numb, (it feels like some wacky dentist went ape with the Novocaine), sensitivity to light, sound and smell. Of course, pain. My migraines are triggered by combination of sleep-deprivation, barometric pressure, and/or stress.
Well, we hit the jack-pot today. It rained, hailed, then snowed. I was woken by Drunk Gerbil(s) which is code for Rat. Yes, I found out there are more. I can't express to you the horror. I can't sleep. I'm too busy being ticked at the Creator of the universe for alternately exposing us to such a thing and embarrassing us by allowing such filthy creatures to roam in our home. Lastly, stress. I learned plumbing this week. I had NO desire to, but, I can now hook up all necessary plumbing for a washer and install a faucet should I ever have to again. Grrrrrrrrr. Good news, is that I now can do the 20 loads of laundry waiting for me *sigh*
Brain pain go away....
I do have a wonderful preventative medication. I'm on Topamax (anti-seizure) and under normal days it does a wonderful job of giving me back my life and helping me to function. I used to be confined to bed for 2/7 days. Moving was agony. My life was a living h3ll. When I have an attack and then have to suffer the recuperation this is how I can best describe it:
Imagine being sealed in a cold glass coffin. Your head is nailed down. You can see your family. Your family can see you. You can't touch. You can't clearly communicate. You can't take care of your loved ones. You watch them struggle and need you and you are forced to watch. Life goes on while your heart breaks. Finally you're set free, only to be returned to the torture again.
Bitter much, Snow?
In the grand scheme of things, this pales in comparison to just last year. However, this is my journal and I am choosing to lament. My nurse practitioner quit and I am trying to get a NP or Doctor for the fam again. It took 9 months last year. I hope that I can get this script refilled at the Walk-In on Monday, she left me high and dry.
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