SNOWANGELDIVA   20,057
SparkPoints
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SNOWANGELDIVA's Recent Blog Entries

MRI

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


End of the day vlog

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MKPRINCESS007 7/19/2011 11:52PM

    Hey Liz..........glad to hear that test is over with.......MRI's are kind of creepy to me. All that banging and such.........ugh. I agree with others........the tech is probably just wired on caffeine, or overworked and sleep deprived. Don't worry. I would start hounding the doc in a day or two. Sending up big prayers that all is well!

K

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOPEFULCHANGE 7/19/2011 10:57PM

    haha! I can't stand doctors like that! Praying it's nothing... I'm sure you're fine ;)

Report Inappropriate Comment
KITKATSGRACE 7/19/2011 10:17PM

    You don't need an MRI, you need a vacation, lol, I have 2 boys and my youngest likes video games and they keep me guessing, but I love 'em though!! I'll bet you never get bored!

Report Inappropriate Comment
REDSHOES2011 7/19/2011 10:12PM

    MRI results are given to you by the doctor whom asks for them to be done.. They can be really really busy, like my ear specialist at the university hospital is one of the most well known specialists in for cancer types on and in the face, throat and ear regions of the body.. I don't get annoyed with him, because other people are fighting against cancer and some are waiting on have a tube put in their throats so they can keep breathing.. My doctor uses MRI scanning as his road map when operating on my throat problems.. With a 90% change of bells palsy, next time I am operated on- I say give him all the time he needs.. My face and how I look in the future is dependant on not stressing him to make bad decisions.. My scannings are sometimes sent to other doctors at other hospitals to get 2nd opinions from other doctors whom specilize to get a plan of attack..
I got so frustrated efter 5 operations he showed me photos of bell palsy if he just went in blindly without a plan and the type I will get is very painful as my eye will not be able to blink anymore and I suffer problems with the nerves around my mouth as it is..
I hope you get the answers you seek.. Crossing fingers for you.. The guy whom did mine showed me what the doctor was looking for, but couldn't explain more, as he explained thats what the doctor whom ordered them is good at. I said I have had this done 5 times I wanted to see the s.o.b causing the pain and problems.. I was shocked to see the size, shapes and angles where it spreads and it is not even cancer.. My first tumour was 6 cms by 5 cms by 3 cms..The tumours I have had removed just take alot of space (have been record up to a grapefruit size) and can push against nerves and everything in its way-it doesn't change cells.. My doctor just keeps them down, he can't remove it totally as it is squeezing my main face nerves.. He also wipes his schedule clean when doing me as I am out for about 5 hours at a time as he has his eye peeled on a alarm system he is getting too close to nerve tissue.. One of his interns chickenedd out operating on me and stopped.. He woke me up as he forgot to order a MRI scanning- I flipped off and make a huge scene in the operation room.. I had to wait 1 month for my usual specialist to return home from holidays.. This intern phoned him and wrecked his holidays.. I got a apology..

emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/19/2011 10:48:43 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANEWBETHSTL 7/19/2011 9:16PM

    Waiting is the very worst part. One week?? WOW, that's a long time! If you don't hear anything by tomorrow, I would be calling on Thursday for sure. According to my Dr., when I had my MRI for my back, he said the Dr. gets results back now withing 24-48 hours.

I am praying it's all good Sweets!!!




Report Inappropriate Comment
HANKENSTEIN 7/19/2011 6:36PM

    It's cool that your kids all lounge together, even if it's to play video games. My kids tend to play games for one player while the other watches. ... How'd you like the tube? ... Bad bedside manner isn't exclusive to doctors, it seems. TWIT!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 7/19/2011 6:26PM

    Praying everything is find and your tech was just a goober. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


$4.69 for milk random vlog

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hey Howdy Hey!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANSASCHICA 7/18/2011 8:30PM

    Wow you have beautiful blue eyes!!! Anyway, I'm glad you are starting to feel better Liz...It's lonely here without you!! HOLY COW!! That's alot for milk....speaking of cow....think it would probably be cheaper if you just bought a cow!! I hope your sis undestands as to why you didn't call. I hope.... your beautiful SP sis!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANEWBETHSTL 7/18/2011 5:27PM

    Yeah, they did so want each other in that movie girl..they were not kiddin' nobody :)

Happy Birthday to your Sister! emoticon You were in pain, it's understandable. Sorry, she had a poopy birthday.

emoticon

I want your hubby to make a cameo HEHE!

Keep us posted on the MRI Sweets!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HANKENSTEIN 7/18/2011 2:35PM

    We pay in the 3.60 range for milk, but we buy it at Sam's club. ... Did that movie make you bleach your mind? ... That was kinda crappy of the husband to call. Might have been nice if he'd called to see how you were doing, but I wouldn't worry about not calling. ... And bring me more coffee!!!! ... MRIs are not fun, unless you have Valium. The I imagine they become very doable. ... Don't weigh in then. It's your call.

Poor Mr. Mittens
With business to get done
So he can't father kittens
You don't want more than one?

Report Inappropriate Comment
MNOT2THICK 7/18/2011 10:15AM

    Liz,

I just paid 3.99 here in NYC. I might need to get a cloned mini-cow in order to afford milk. Naw, that won't work. Half a cow would probably equal half the nutrients and I have to drink twice as much and where would I keep the cute little heifer. emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/18/2011 10:16:54 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNYBUNNY112 7/17/2011 8:07PM

    Dang, i pay either $3.89 or $4.25 depending on what store I go to...we drink *gasp* whole milk...I think the skimmer ones are a little bit less...I don't drink milk so a gallon like last forever...anyway...happy you are on the upswing, sista...and don't feel bad about missing a call...with all you have been dealing with, it's totally understandable...hugs

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 7/17/2011 7:24PM

    My whole family loves you Liz. My sweetie is in the other room and just hollered that is Snowmama isn't it. emoticon

Today was shopping day for us. I was whining because milk was 3.68 a gallon. We did find a low calorie treat though. Banana flavored popcicles with only 15 calories a piece. emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment


Flame On! Oops...not yet?

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I think we'll call it, Pheonix Syndrome. In honour of my Spiritual Giant Friend, Stephany from Arizona.

I feel like this..


With only a dull residue of a headache and slight sleep deprivation as a reminder of the torment my brain and spirit have endured, the rest of my body has been flooded with a postdrome euphoria phase.

This right here is what gets me into trouble.

Most migraineurs get the postdrome depression. Makes sense. You get your butt kicked, you're gonna be ticked. Which I do. Then sometimes, sometimes comes this rare elation...this euphoria...this, "I am so ready to take on the world and OWN IT!!!"

Anyone screaming; "WOAH, GIRL SLOW IT DOWN and HEAL?!!!

It's like watching someone that's been in a car wreck that has a halo on supporting their neck (all hopped up on pain relief) say to you, "Nah, this ol' thing, we can work around it, bungie jumping will be no problem, let's go!!"

I am writing this blog at 7 a.m. Saturday morning instead of:

* painting a mural on the side of my brick home.
* tearing off and plastering my daughter's bedroom walls.
* then painting her walls.
* painting a picture of an orchid for my sister's birthday next week.... then a Lily for my niece...

I kid you not. Mom found me a floor easel yesterday in her garage saleing.

* planning and purchasing an entire school curricula for each of my children. Right now.
* organizing the School Room. Now.

Um, ya.

I think sipping coffee may not be the BEST solution, but, I think taking a breather and FOCUSING is.

Poor Bobby. Good thing he loves adventure...

"FLAME ON!!!"

Oops, nope. We're "supposed" to be learning to heal...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AALIYANA01 2/20/2012 10:11PM

    WOW. i need some enthusiasm. send me some. i'll send you birthday cake in return. ;)

Report Inappropriate Comment
MI-ELLKAYBEE 2/20/2012 8:27PM

    Besides being beautiful and SO athletic, you are an incredibly talented writer! I really enjoy these. By the way, you've made me want to do a cartwheel again - haven't tried yet, but I can do my old majorette routine. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNOWANGELDIVA 2/20/2012 6:37PM

    I'm going through my stuff preparing to weed it out and this one made me giggle...sheesh...it's a great life when you can laugh at yourself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MNOT2THICK 7/16/2011 5:04PM

    I wish I could bottle this euphoria and negate the migranes. emoticonSo happy you are feeling better.

Snow, you are all kinds of talented. You have got this. Please post pics of your masterpieces.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNYBUNNY112 7/16/2011 4:41PM

    It will be OK...sweetie....you are owning you and you will be fine, i believe in you :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECLIPSED 7/16/2011 3:50PM

    Bottle up some of that enthusiam and send it south :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
I*AM*BLESSED 7/16/2011 1:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANSASCHICA 7/16/2011 9:40AM

    Im so excited I posted twice! Lol emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANSASCHICA 7/16/2011 9:38AM

    Your painting a mural on the side of your house?!? Sweet! So glad things are looking up Lizzie! Your positive energy is so contagious....as a matter of fact Im gonna go draw a pic on our driveway.....with sidewalk chalk....woot woot!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANSASCHICA 7/16/2011 9:36AM

    Your painting a mural on the side of your house?!? Sweet! So glad things are looking up Lizzie! Your positive energy is so contagious....as a matter of fact Im gonna go draw a pic on our driveway.....with sidewalk chalk....woot woot!

Comment edited on: 7/16/2011 9:39:30 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSFOLK 7/16/2011 8:59AM

    Hope your weekend finds you doing things you enjoy:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
K_CHRISTER 7/16/2011 8:17AM

    I hear you, there are times I wish the euphoria could be there without the suffering.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 7/16/2011 7:47AM

    emoticonLove you Liz. Have a super day and yes, take it easy. At least the best you can. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUTRON3 7/16/2011 7:22AM

    Have a great day!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Battle wounds

Friday, July 15, 2011

"Who?!"
It's like 11 p.m. no one in their right mind calls me after 9 p.m., unless someone is dying, dead or has plans on me helping them to die!

The distant voice repeats, "Stephany!"

Then I hear the tell tale commotion of the pastorate family with energy that I wish to heaven they would figure out how to bottle and merchandise. Oh, they're so awesome.

{When my father died and my family wanted money they decided to try to sue me for his past debts. When they were unsuccessful and bitterness reigned in their hearts. My husband and I decided that we wanted a break. So, we were planning on going to visit his family in Hungary. From there it spiraled into moving and setting up a business with his parents. God took that opportunity to reclaim our hearts and bring Himself back to the forefront of our lives. Stephany and her husband just "happened" to be missionaries right there at the right time. If it wasn't for her Bob would be buried in Hungary somewhere under a tree. They were the most loving, honest, godly couple I may ever meet this side of Glory. They were our very first church family with our children. You get the picture that I think they're total awesomeness, right?}

Moving right along then with my story...

She's not even sorry that she's calls this late. Truth be told she is probably the only person on planet earth that can call me at any hour and get away with it. Sorry, Mom.

"How are you?", she asks.


"Um...", I reply...which loosely translates to:

"It's been like 10 years, you're in Arizona have a congregation to think about, I'm way up here in Ontario. There were times to call; like the three times I gave birth after the two children you met or when I finished up my course, was doing the desk top publishing, you know all of these and other victorious times. Times I woulda LOVED to share and tell you about His marvelous hand in our lives, but, not today. Today is the last day I want you to call. The day when I love my life but my depression is out of control and everything has been turned inside out. The day that I feel like the Almighty is utterly ashamed of me and is purposely using me for an example and utterly humiliating me. Now...now you call?"......

I think we'll just stick with, "Um, it's fine. How are you guys?"
A little deflection works on everybody! No?
No.
I does not work on her.
Guess what? Arizonians don't like deflections, particularly pastor's wives.

"We'll start with what you don't want me know and work from there", she coaches. "Only reason we hide things is to remain in the bondage of fear and I'm not letting that happen. Fear is destructive."

"Um...."

A half an hour later she had a synopsis of what has gone on this past year with the anemia, migraines, depression, untested Lupus, NP (nurse practioner) and Therapist ultimatums, Firing NP (and entire Health Care facility), C.A.S being used as personal attack dogs, CAS (Childrens Aid Society) refusing to be used as pawns and clearing our file, and being back to "Square One" and having no health care and being sick. Oh, and looking for a new church family because through all of this I quit all the ministries and had no support.
Yes, yes, I am still schooling the children.

I felt like a failure having to tell her the storms. When it was done and she was there to listen and nurture I felt like I'd been picked up and dusted off. She got online and looked over the church we were thinking about and gave me positive feed-back. She affirmed that when a person feels like they are no longer able to be useful in the position to minister to others that they should not. She told me to be prepared to be ministered to for a long while. This was not a small Spiritual battle...I needed time to recuperate. Coming from this Battle Ax, this Spiritual giant, I didn't feel like a failure as a Christian.

You know the Good Samaritan Story and how they're ALWAYS teaching you to BE the Good Samaritan?

They NEVER teach you how to be the guy that was pummeled and left to die.



Ephesians 6:12-13
King James Version (KJV)

12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

{It is a War and there are casualties...I think this soldier, namely me, didn't put on the whole armour of God...}

13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.


spiritlessons.com/Documents/Posters/
ArmorOfGod_Poster.gif




It won't take away the war, but, I'll be better prepared next time.

Now, it's time to learn to heal from my battle-wounds.







  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIFEGENESIS 7/16/2011 6:53AM

    LOVE IT!

Yeah for angels on earth disguised as friends!

So what's your battle cry?


HOLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHASSYSUE2 7/16/2011 4:51AM

    I feel like Prayers have been answered!! She was sent by God, because He knew she was the one that could reach you!! Isn't God Awesome!!! I have had a week where we have had to rely on Him a lot, and I am so glad that He is just a Heartbeat away from you and me!!! We serve an AWESOME GOD!!!! Amen!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KITKATSGRACE 7/15/2011 10:42PM

    I am so glad you have a wonderful friend like her! These photos are awesome too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MNOT2THICK 7/15/2011 9:55PM

    Every trial and tribulation is bringing you closer to what the Lord God planned for you. Especially the blessing you have in Stephany and family. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANEWBETHSTL 7/15/2011 8:15PM

    Thank the Lord for Stephany...somehow she knew you needed her and that is why she called when she did...not when you wanted her too, but when she had to!

Thanks Stephany for being there for our dear friend!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOYFULMOMTO5 7/15/2011 7:05PM

    Oh, Lizzie! My eyes are brimming with tears of joy that God sent this beautiful friend to you. Thank you, Jesus! He sees you, He loves you, & he will heal every wound with His love. Rest in Him. Hugs, hugs, & more hugs-then a little one legged victory dance on your behalf;)lol

Comment edited on: 7/15/2011 7:05:45 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 7/15/2011 6:49PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Nightmare Freeze Tag

Thursday, July 14, 2011

*disclaimer: "Nightmare"...kinda gives the heads up that this is NOT a "cheery" blog...just sayin'..



::_________________ ::


It's like slowly being frozen in place.

You know when the Witch in Narnia zaps people as they run from her?

"Oh poo she's gonna get me! Will somebody, anybody please HE__...."
Words are frozen within your jaw?

Like...Nightmare Freeze Tag?

You feel so sad for them. You kinda shake your head.
Like, "Dude, why bother running? She's big and mean and she SO has your number. Totally just give up."
....picture Medusa or 'witch' ever evil maniacal persona you think of that has your number.

Well, welcome to today. I guess the past few days. I've been in a way, 'running'.

That "Fly Boy" scared me. I haven't mentioned it to a soul save you guys.
With the house stress. I didn't/couldn't mention it to Bob. I didn't/couldn't mention it to my sister (the Military Police Officer) because I didn't have a clear enough description of the guy that has been following me or his friend. I know that they know where I live being that you can see my house from the grocery store parking lot. It doesn't take a genius. Well, Fly Boy ain't no genius. Then, of course, I felt shame that I let fear not sense rule me and I didn't take an accurate description and at least get some information so that she would at least have it you know, "in case".
EDIT: "Fly Boy" not so much the fear, but, the fear of being raped. Having someone forcing attention, knowing I was unresponsive and unappreciative and disrespecting my boundaries triggered a post-trauma reaction.

I think that's what 'triggered' the migraine that 'triggered' me back into severe depression.

That stress + migraines = depression.

Usually, I'm happy-go-lucky-me, parading around in my hot pink pony tails, singing show tunes, chomping my bubble gum and looking at life with glaring positivity...

and then BAM!

I "sense" this darkness (technically, it's prodrome and aura, but, we'll call it "spidy-sense").
I hit the road runnin'. Maybe I can out run a migraine? It can happen....riiiight?

It usually ends with my butt getting fantastically whopped. Migraines are so mean.
Unlike in the movies; I have not yet perfected my magnificent powers.

Oh wait.

I ain't GOT NONE!!

Enter. Magnificent depression. Not because I feel like an absolute failure, although that would warrant a glorious pout, but, WOW, that chemical kick does a number on me and the balance is completely out of whack!

My sunshine and rainbows are poop and blood.
Seriously.
I'm preoccupied with painting in my own blood.

I envision the words, "I am SO done."
~ in 3 foot calligraphy?!
Wouldn't I be dead by the time I get done that artistic endeavor?

This is NOT MY world! GET me out of here!

Please Lord, get me back to sparkles and sunshine and tip toeing through the tulips...

I can't stand the image of lifting my own coffin lid and walk through my family members.

*EW!!!!!!!*


I've been doing all that I'm supposed to do.

*Trusting & Praying. I mean; He made me...He designed me...He knows where the glitch is at. He is allowing this for SOME reason.

*Taking pain relief. Thank you, God for migraine medication!!
Wow, that has shortened the suffering from days to hours. I've slept most of the day. Which sucks.
My family is so lazy. I won't go there. It is in the parenting, but, I just can't right now.

*Trying to keep it positive. When I have those negative things forced on me. I am fighting them. It's exhausting.

*Resting. Have I mentioned -I hate that?

*Increasing my water. I just cry more...go figure I need more water.

*Try to hide it from the kids. Yup, they gotta know about the Diseases, but, I gotta protect as much as I can.

*Not hide it from my husband or my Mom. I am learning that they are learning my "signs". I have "signals" when my system starts to go in remission and I have been manipulating it to save them grief, but, in the long run it will not save anyone any grief I'm afraid.


I can't wait for Gloryland when there is no more Drive-by a$$ whoppin's...




Taken for Granite

Defeated by an ugly crone,
From mortal man to standing stone,
With sun and rain upon you blown,
Through carven locks the wind shall moan,
Here you will be through years unknown,
And slowly crumble when time has flown.
game over screen, Conquests of Camelot



KITKATSGRACE had a fabulous quote it was wonderful for my ailing spirit tonight:
"...Our love will fail, our heart will balk, we will fret. But our very powerlessness is the place where His power is manifested, where His all-sufficient grace is given...

Author unknown"


www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4356278

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYBUNNY112 7/16/2011 4:39PM

    I waited 2 days to respond because I didn't know what to say...this was a very raw blog and I didn't want to want to give a fluff remark to your pain...the best thing I can say, Is that I love you, I support you and I am here when you need me....

Report Inappropriate Comment
MNOT2THICK 7/15/2011 10:10PM

    Liz I am keeping you in prayer. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANEWBETHSTL 7/15/2011 8:11PM

    Liz Sweetie, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Your passed will always make you more cautious than most people.

I wish you would speak to Bob about this, he needs to know what you are going through. I am sure one reason you married you wonderful hubby is because you trusted him. Trust him enough that he will be there for you Sweets.

We are always here for you...we LOVE you!!

emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
KANSASCHICA 7/15/2011 7:05PM

    Oh Lizzie....I can't even find words.....Im so very sorry....Im sick thinking about what your having to deal with....please I'm begging to talk to someone, whether it be hubby or sis...something has to be done! Please...love you and wish I could help

Report Inappropriate Comment
HANKENSTEIN 7/15/2011 8:57AM

    Liz, I so wish the damage inflicted on you years ago would dissipate, but I know it feels unwise to let your guard down, especially in the presence of a stranger so brash as to pose for you as though he was enticing you. I wish you would mention it to Bob. We never feel so alone as when we are alone and afraid. I love you, my dear Liz. I would hug you for a long time.


Report Inappropriate Comment
I*AM*BLESSED 7/15/2011 8:33AM

    I sent you a SparkMail...

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 7/15/2011 8:16AM

    ((Liz))

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIFEGENESIS 7/15/2011 4:51AM

    Hey you! *poke poke*

Uh....it's kinda dark in here....let's pull the shades a tad shall we? *GOOD LORD!!!* Have you BRUSHED your hair lately? Oh goodness....not even going to ask about the teeth. COOOOOME on honey....let's get you up.

THERRRRREEE you go. Now...what's sounds good for a snack?

Omelettes? French toast? What's tha-! EEEK! Maybe we SHOULD revisit the whole brushing teeth thing. *wink*

Oh...oh! You wanna go sit on the porch for a minute....sure thing...let's go.

:D

Like your PJs by the way. Very cute.

Hey is that a sprinkler?

*buhahahaha!*


TAG YOUR ITTTT! COME get me! COOOMMMEEE OOOOON!!!!

EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!


*get off that bootay and make a vloggity honey bun....only way out is THROUGH. Nothing to it BUT to DO IT!*

I'll be waiting for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHASSYSUE2 7/15/2011 12:12AM

    Dear Lord, I am coming to you right now, In Jesus's Name, I ask you to send your healing touch to my dear friend. Please send her comfort and peace in her physical body and in her Spiritual body. Heal her of the Migraine and the Depression. Defeat the evil that is torturing her, and send your Love and Grace. I ask these things in Faith, believing that you can do all things, if we just ask... In Christ's Name Amen and Amen!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 Last Page