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Geriatric Hair

Thursday, April 10, 2014

It's my hair or my body, but, I have yet to channel that negative energy wisely. I just find that I'm on autopilot and I don't clue in until the bleach has made my hair a rainbow of banana peel yellow, melted white and jello orange. That's when I remember to pray.
*face palm*

I am cruel to my hair.

It's not like I have some nastiness that I feel compelled to hide. I really like my soft light brown hair. I have a wicked awesome streak of silver-grey in my bangs that Rogue would envy.

I like the illusion that I have some kind of control on my environment. Colouring my hair when I am thrown into turmoil is all a part of my coping mechanism. I wanted to bake a cake and eat it solo like I had been doing since surgery and lay-offs. Instead I hit the bottle. The water bottle and then the hair dye.

I'm not doing the radiant red ever again. I felt like a clown trying to match my makeup to balance that intensity. That did not make feel pretty. I gotta feel pretty so, I can remember to treat myself pretty.

Yup, I am that sissy.

I kept in my range for two days in a row. I snuck a hop on the scale and it looks like I met my goal for the week. I still have Tiger's 40th on Saturday to contend with calories .

OH! Asides from celebrating a milestone in my husband's life, I was asked to put my resume in at a Retirement Home. I'll be following up tomorrow.
That's what started my panic mode. I was planning to remain a Homemaker during the lay-offs, then the tightening of the pursestrings seemed to choke the fun out of being home. I can't maintain or improve things if we're never getting past, "Go".

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASRMOM 4/14/2014 12:01PM

    It's been a long road, hasn't if? Glad to see y are still hanging in there. I like your hair and if dyeing it makes life better-go for it!

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JULIAMOONCHILD 4/12/2014 12:04AM

    You are so beautiful on the outside ....... no matter the color of your hair .... and so AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL on the INSIDE if you were completely bald no one would even notice. Your inside beauty makes everything about you seem absolutely flawless.
Now, I hope that things change and that you can remain at home, but if need be I also wish you much luck with the possibility of a new job. Still, I hope you will think of it as a temporary placement only ..... rather than a life sentence. Mommies, like you, make this world a far, far better place ......and being a HOMEMAKER is one of the most important jobs ever! And surely one that you do GREAT at!

You ROCK! emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 4/11/2014 8:04PM

    emoticon You are beautiful no matter what color your hair may be~ Keep smilin', beautiful~ *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon

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    I always let someone else lighten my hair, and even then I need to take time off every couple of years or it feels all destroyed! I wish I could do it myself- save big bucks.

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SLAYINGDRAGONS 4/11/2014 10:38AM

    Love how you shared these recent challenges. Blonde is a good choice for you! Hope you get the job so you can pass "Go"

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WISHICOULDFLY 4/11/2014 8:17AM

    I am horrible at coloring my own hair, so I have to pay BIG BUCKS to have someone else do it. If it did not cost so much, I would be changing it more often.

As for your hair color, I think you look great in any color. The truth is, you could not look bad even if you TRIED. emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 4/11/2014 7:50AM

    This just makes me think of this song:
Hope you get good news from the retirements center. You would be such a breath of fresh air for them! Thinking of you, kiddo. Hang in there!

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HOMEHEARTSICK 4/11/2014 12:06AM

    lol, I do the same when I am stressed out I change my hair color, I am glad I am not the only one who dose the way u are pretty u are lucky I haft to really work at it. Anyhow u are not a sissy. Hope and praying things work out for u. Like the cartoon about hair lol.

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Reward Dress

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

I bought a Reward Dress!!!

I have been pondering on an inexpensive way to encourage (bribe) myself to remain motivated. I am so indecisive that it was a miraculous feat in more ways than one.

It was $12 @ Walmart and I am positively in love. It was one of those times where I was running around doing a bazillion errands and as I walked by it time went in ...s...l...o...w... motion. I stopped mid stride and oogled it. Stroked it. Convinced myself that if I was to die today I would be in Heaven pining for the fun, simple, feminine, cheeriness of it.
Yes. Clearly I "had-to-have-it". My drool provided entertainment for a few unsuspecting people as I tossed it in the cart and headed to the checkout.

Who does that?
Who grabs a dress, confidently checks the size and just tosses it in the cart?
Not I.

I hate shopping. It's usually a painstaking process. There is commitment when you purchase things for yourself as a wife and mommy to five on one income. There's guilt to battle, motivation to question and a myriad of other psychological battles to joust with and that's even before leaving the blasted house!

I am almost terrified to spend any money lately. I killed a car. I am off-season with my resort housekeeper job and was physically ailing (as of today I am well on the mend from surgery).

I didn't try it on. That is brave. I eyeballed it. I have not been able to look at something in decades and tell if it's close to my size or one of the kids. I always have to check tags. Thankfully the tag did say 'Medium' which is a standard 9/10 in Canadianese.

I am not wearing it until I get to 155lbs (and it is warmer than 20C). I felt fabulous at that weight. I feel great now. However, the fabulous I felt prior to the storms and the fall into comfort eating was more energy and vitality.

I am excited.

emoticon Did not happen. The youngest had me play her personal puke slave all night.
emoticon emoticon I love coffee, but, it's beating my water intake and my skin is parched.
emoticon portions. I am at the tippy-top, but, I am IN THE ZONE!!! emoticon
emoticon Nope. I could count the errand jogging. Know what? I will. That's a big honkin' store. It wasn't my fun fitness, but, I'll do some hooping while jumping on my bed after I get the kids in their own beds. emoticon
emoticon Daily Diva emoticon I put on earrings and even though I'm toning down my egyptian/retro 60's look; I remembered fragrance and mascara.
emoticon emoticon I tried to be invisible because I held onto shame and not His promises of restoration.

I've been asked to be a Youth Leader. I'm pretty sure it's because they have a dunk tank position they want to fill and hopes that I'll share my hula hoops, but, it's going to be awesome. Currently, every Friday evening I get to chillax with 8-18 y.o. The majority is in the tweens.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNOT2THICK 4/10/2014 11:24PM

    Cute!! emoticon

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LIVINHEALTHY9 4/10/2014 6:11PM

    That's a cute dress and you can't beat $12.00
It will look great on you!

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_JODI404 4/10/2014 1:57PM

    So glad you overcame any feelings of guilt and bought the reward dress. I love it & I know it will look good on you! You cannot beat $12 for a dress that you have that "have to have it" feeling about!

emoticon ENJOY!

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MOSTMOM1 4/9/2014 11:11PM

    Ooh, I'm glad you're getting plugged in and I love that dress. It's so yoU!

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PKBOO3 4/9/2014 8:22PM

    Love the dress. OK, you need to video and share when you hoop on the bed, LOL!!!

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I*AM*BLESSED 4/9/2014 7:36PM

    Love it! emoticon

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FITBIZZZ 4/9/2014 3:45PM

    Love that you have a Daily Diva goal. Right on.

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    Liz, That dress will look adorable on you! and the youth leader position will be FUN! They will LOVE you! emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 4/8/2014 11:35PM

    O Lizzie~ *hugs* That dress is gonna look drop~dead gorgeous on YOU! O! I can't wait to see your peepers POP in that! *LOL* How fun for you~ relax and enjoy it. You're the Mom and you deserve a way to motivate yourself to be the best Mom you can be. Love it! *hugs*

Sounds like a sensible plan of action that I have every confidence you will achieve~ 'n in flying colors no less! So happy to hear you are back in the Sanctuary of the Lord. *hugs* And my O my~ aren't those some mighty blessed kids to be sharing time with each other. Be blessed, dear heart~ *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOYFULMOMTO5 4/8/2014 11:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LYNN-LOVESLIFE7 4/8/2014 10:55PM

    Well done! emoticon

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Stop being selfish - choose healthy

Monday, April 07, 2014

I ate my fridge and my scale squealed on me. My jeans all shrunk, same with my shirt, bra and skivvies. I thought that my clothes shrinking would bother me, but, it's looking like Spring in Ontario (7 robins spotted on my 5k walk this morning ~ the first of 2014!!!) and I'm looking for a ynew wardrobe FILLED with pastels. So what if it's a size 12 instead of 10?
Big deal.
Hubby keeps feeding me. It's his love language. His way of saying, "thank you-dear-wife-for-not-killing-yourself-whe
n-you-killed-the-car", & "thankyou-for-not-croaking-after-your-surg
ery", and "thank you-for-dumping-that-job-that-stole-so-muc
h-energy-and -sanity", "We missed you being home".
So, I would eat and eat and eat and eat.
No need for me to be rude. Right?

So, I jumped up ten pounds... It very well could've been all of it. It was stressful losing a job, a car, and mobility for a couple of months this year. My b.f.f. says I look better with weight.
I feel like poo.
I'm tired. My stomach hurts all the time cuz I went back to hovering my food instead of chewing it. That lead to irregularity. Which lead to sugar up and water down. Finally, sleep deprivation triggering migraines.


It's a beautiful day filled with sunshine and birds singing. The negative voices in my head have been bound and gagged.

Weight increase is selfish and so is the size of my dessert serving. My loved ones have to deal with the aftermath of my negative, abusive choices. Not one more time is bonding and celebrating the everyday with my family going to be sabotaged by selfishness.

I was working Sundays for the last year and I never got myself or the kids to church for over a year. We were a home school family that spent many days a week with our brothers and sisters. Our faith is our foundation. It's ourmoral compass. Without our foundation we crumbled. Without the peace from trusting in purpose higher than self, we went cold.
Our home is filling with peace, love and hope.

The greatest of these is Love.

A day hemmed in prayer seldom comes unravelled.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOSTMOM1 4/9/2014 11:09PM

    I have missed talking to you, buddy. We need to connect again. I don't think you're getting my telepathic messages.
(this is me, trying very hard, to communicate telepathically over the border)

Comment edited on: 4/9/2014 11:09:48 PM

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JOYFULMOMTO5 4/8/2014 5:07PM

    Love you! emoticon It's all gonna be alright emoticon emoticon
Those 10 lbs will be saying "bye, bye" in no time!! Glad you are well enough to be out and about and walking 5k's! You are a survivor and this has just been a bump in the road. Things have separated us from being able to be away from church family also....It makes life very different. Praying peace, strength, and hope over you and yours! emoticon

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LIVINHEALTHY9 4/8/2014 5:52AM

    Keep fighting the good fight!

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    Connie, I am back. Spark works for me. I have a sense of accountability here and a Love-Hate relationship with the food tracker. OH how I hate that thing. My body neeeds 1500 calories a day...I want 3000. Today I did not make my goal. I overachieved on calories. It could've been double though. So, today is a win. I'm steered in the right direction.
Mom, Life does happen. Seriously, if things were calm I'd snap. Tonight I'm the official vomit catcher to the baby. Feeling sexy, triumphant and accomplished tonight.
Julia, Spring most definately has a large percent of motivation. Bobby's 40th is next week. Noooo pressure.
Filly, I won't throw in the towel - I'm weak ~ He's strong. It's so true...for the amount of storms 10lbs is a featherweight in this throw down.

(typed on my teeeeeny microscopic screen of my phone.)

Accomplished ...
emoticon emoticon
working on sleep
staying under the cap of my range.

My thighs will thank me this summer when the rubbing from walking won't set them on fire.


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TEXASFILLY 4/7/2014 8:06PM

    Well, li'l darlin'~ don't throw in the towel! *hugs* So happy to hear from you again and to know that you survived all the trials that came your way. Ten pounds is a small price to pay for all those stressors~ so it sounds like you're on the right track in getting it all together. Just take it one day at a time, and the next time the ol' Devil reminds you of your weaknesses, remind him of his future. Love you, gal ~*Hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    I wish I would listen to myself.

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    Loved that last quote!

I think SPRING coming is going to boost your resolve to do whatever things you feel need tweaking and resolving ... although it seems you are already on the path to finding peace once again in your life. TRANSITIONS .... they sure do rock the boat for a while, don't they?
But from your blog, it seems you are dropping anchor and seeing green pastures just on the horizon.

As always, wishing you the very BEST! emoticon

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I*AM*BLESSED 4/7/2014 12:26PM

    Darn that's always getting in the way!

Glad to hear from you again... emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 4/7/2014 12:24PM

    Let me be the first to welcome you back Liz! I'm sorry you went through so much and I hope you and your family are doing well now. I saw a status that you were getting surgery. Was this related to injuries sustained in your accident?

I'm sure you hubby is right and that you look great, but you have to FEEL great too and tummy issues are no fun at all.

Wishing you more sunshine and happiness! We all missed you! - Connie

Comment edited on: 4/7/2014 12:25:00 PM

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Hair today gone tomorrow

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Combo of "Fun" and "What works for me", because it's fun to make vlogs where I banter about stuff that works for me.
Vlogs are my logs in video form. Sometimes they're closer to a journal, but, that's also "What works for me." This is not edited. I am not adding music or cricket sound effects when I have a moment of distraction.
Not today.
Cherish something about yourself and you're less likely to give up on the whole package. My hair and my eyes I give my attention to. Some people focus on waxing or manicures. Something that you can cherish so that you won't focus on the negatives or the other things you're trying to improve that take more time. Having something aesthetic to pay attention to helps with self respect and can be a way to preoccupy yourself instead of scorfing food like you're a trash compactor.

Today I am just happy my teenaged daughter is 'allowing' me to grab our computer for a little chillaxin'.

So, to update:
I have dropped some weight after the hubby's holiday heapin'. He was on vacation and I was working extra and he just HAD to cook - ALL the time. When I FINALLY found some courage I had to keep saying, "No, but thank you for the delicious temptations. I really, really want to chunk up on all the excess food and sweets you're soliciting, BUT, my knee is killing me."
I also threw in, "You don't want me to buy a whole new wardrobe for the added weight, right?"
I don't know if it was my health or his frugal wallet, the food is not being waved in my face.

In wake of my car accident, I'm finally coming out of shock. My bosses have bent over backwards to align my schedule to my b.f.f.'s and she is more than content to drive me in. We get an hour a day to vent, dream, and banter. We were on different shifts during the manic holidays and my son's health scare and I 'm pretty sure our next visit would be jail because neither of were coping without our "Therapy" chats.

Water is so amazing. I'm doing superstar when I'm getting 12 cups in. I feel full, hydrated and energized. If I had any wisdom from this journey, that is my Prime Nugget.

I hope to chat more. I'm contemplating a part-time job in town at a coffee shop. I love my job but, I'm pretty sure even my b.f.f. has a threshold for my randomness. It would do me some good to stop hiding from my neighbours. It has been six years and everybody know where I live and I had no idea they existed. Then again, they're not outside hooping and dancing in public like a Homemade Circus. They could do their share and make themselves easier to identify.

Just sayin'.

Before: It's not the best, but, I'll get the one off our phone/camera when I can have a turn on it TEXASFILLY

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNN-LOVESLIFE7 4/8/2014 11:00PM

    Love your hair! And I love what you said about investing in yourself. You're right!
We need to see the beauty in us. emoticon

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    Love your hair!!

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MOSTMOM1 2/17/2014 9:46PM

    How the heck did I miss this a month ago? What was I doing?
no idea
Bad Hair Day--PREACH SISTER!! Mine has grown into an unfortunate mullet and my jeans are too small.

I love the way Marsh creeps in at the end. Miss you buddy, hope you're on the mend and all that jazz. Will have to kik you tomorrow, to see how you're doing.

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KARENE10 2/8/2014 11:38AM

    Cute hair! Love your vlogs and blogs~ emoticon

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    I love your hair!

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ASRMOM 1/21/2014 10:26PM

    So supper glad to have a blog!

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JOYFULMOMTO5 1/21/2014 8:14PM

    Word! Thanks! Love it & your neapolitan hair, beautiful :)

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SHASSYSUE2 1/20/2014 3:42AM

    Oh Liz it is so good to see your beautiful face, and hear your voice again.... I love the hair!!!!!

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NAVYMOM133 1/19/2014 8:02AM

    The nugget I really liked was the cashmere sweater analogy.

If we are feeling bad - down - discouraged - miserable are we going to take out the cashmere sweater and scoop a half-gallon of chocolate ice cream on it, spoonful by spoonful, standing at the counter???
And why not?
We'd feel EVEN MORE MISERABLE after we were done dumping all that damaging substance all over our sweater, that we "claim" we love. Thoughts of, "I can't even keep my sweater clean. How can I ruin things like this so easily? What is WRONG with me?" surface pretty quickly.

For today, I choose to treat myself like I would treat something of value! emoticon

You look great. So glad you are ok and your son is better.

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STR458 1/18/2014 1:03PM

    emoticon I'm 100% with water nugget emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/18/2014 1:04:07 PM

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FITBIZZZ 1/17/2014 10:07AM

    OMGosh, I love your response to temptation to your husband. I will have to use that. Money always talks with my husband. I know he loves me no matter what and I know he wants me to be healthy but as soon as I get a little svelte he's always wanting to feed me! Arrgh.

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KML410 1/17/2014 7:59AM

    Love your hair! It looks great. We do need to treat ourselves better thanks for the reminder! emoticon

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_JODI404 1/16/2014 10:57PM


I think your hair looks great!! Glad you found a solution that makes you happy!

Cheers to keeping up the water! emoticon emoticon

Best wishes on finding the job that suits your needs best. Much like your hair color -- it needs to work for you and make you happy (as much as a job can do that at least).

emoticon emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 1/16/2014 9:53PM

    All I can say is that with bone structure like yours, you could not look bad even if you TRIED. I'm just sayin'.

I love the idea of working at a coffee shop part time. Pretty cool to smell coffee all day. emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 1/16/2014 8:20PM

    YaY, a vlog from you. I love the rainbow. It looks good on you. emoticon emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 1/16/2014 7:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Hey Lizzie~ *hugs* So happy to catch up with you. WOW! Isn't it amazing when one door closes, another opens! Your bosses' would be morons to lose a jewel like~ 'n if you decide the coffee shop you'll make bookoo $$$ in tips alone. You look FAB~ulous! Love the hair! It's YOU! Woo~Hoo!

Thank God your babes are all well and that #1 son survived such life~threatening scares. God bless you for being a Momma~ it's a hard thing to be a mother. *hugs* BB~

P.S. Thanks for sharing your Prime Nugget. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/16/2014 7:32:24 PM

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Why is Moderation a bad word?

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Happy New Year, SparkWorld!

Iíve had a second car accident in a year. My car choked to death on the guardrails I fed it when I was trying to brake for those kind people that neglect their signals lights, on an ice covered road. God Bless, Dipsticks.

(Whomever loves winter driving, raise your hand Ė and smack yourself silly.)

This time we can not recover financially from the accident. It was my second car that I attempted to slaughter in a year.. However, this time I was successful. My in-luvís gave me that car so that I could travel to my housekeeping job at the resort. So, our options were for me to work to own a replacement vehicle OR come out of retirement and return to being a Housewife... in the middle of Godís country. This time thereís no homeschooling. The eldest two are enjoying highschool when the eldest isnít trying to die from his second lung collapse in a year. The younger two boys and daughter are tolerating school. I think thatíll change when they have a mommy home that is not exhausted from walking 15 Ė 20 kilometers a day.

Iím so happy that I had that car accident. I walked away from it and it woke me up. I loved that job and my employers loved me. Every day I was off-shift my co-workers would say how dull things were without me to Ďcheerleadí them through their day. I loved the work I did. I spent a decade plus at home teaching or birthing and to be at a place where I could clean uninterrupted was so very beautiful. I ended up becoming a matriarch figure to many of the young ladies I worked with even though I was trying to find a separate identity. I missed being there for my own children. This past year has been a run of chaos Ė a blur - in health, home, relationships and overall existence. That job was not meant for a mom of young ones. I was expected to run like a racehorse and was rewarded like the stable hand. I skipped my Grandfatherís Funeral last week when I was too exhausted to accept his passing.

Tomorrow I give my notice.
I am no longer working just to work outside of the home. I am looking forward to savouring my life. I blinked and everything went by. Itís as though that accident popped a bubble Iíd trapped myself in and I just came up for air. I was not ready to do that lifestyle change overnight like I did. It was not the right time or job for us. I went from a maximum of 20km a week to 17kn a day. I gained weight in an athletic lifestyle because I left myself so depleted that I didnít have any energy to face myself in the healthy direction. It was like a highschooler in the NFL . Again, I took too big of a leap; in everything I need to learn moderation.

Iím back to Rinsing & Repeating...and...enjoying the things I love.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Thank you, Ladies.
The last three months have been insane wrestling with everything. Your support when I wanted to roll over instead of stand up and try again has been empowering. Blessings!

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NEENSTER1 1/15/2014 8:23AM

    emoticon Thank God you are ok, that's more important than some car or job. What the devil meant for evil God meant for good. Sounds like you are learning what God is teaching you out of the accident. God first then your family etc.

Be Encouraged and take good care of you. emoticon

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_JODI404 1/5/2014 10:16PM


Isn't it amazing how something so terrible as a scary car accident can be such a life blessing?
I think it's more common for it to take a while to unveil itself as such... but I am really happy for you that you can make this change right now. You deserve to live and savor your life and your family.

Moderation isn't easy... but it is good stuff!

Relax and enjoy!!

emoticon emoticon

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LIVINHEALTHY9 1/5/2014 7:44PM

    Glad you are ok.
Sometimes, it takes a jolt to put us where we need to be.


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KATHYD82 1/5/2014 1:09PM

    Wow Liz! You have been on my mind, I kept checking to see if you had posted anything lately, and wondered how you were managing with everything...job, health problems with your son, your kids, glad you survived the accident ok. Moderation is a good thing...something we all need to learn in different areas in our lives. You always have a lot of wisdom to share. Sorry about the passing of your Grandfather. Here's to a New Year and new beginnings for you! emoticon Kathy

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WISHICOULDFLY 1/5/2014 12:33PM

    Liz, I am so sorry for all the troubles you have had this last year, but THANK GOD you are all right. Stay strong and listen for his guidance and he will lead you where you need to be, when you need to be there. emoticon - Connie

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BUSYGRANNY5 1/5/2014 11:43AM

    Bless you!!! It sounds like you have a lot going on....

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VEROISME 1/5/2014 10:42AM

    Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right. I can totally relate. emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 1/5/2014 10:05AM

    Hey dear heart~ *hugs* You've been mightily missed! So thankful you are all right~ and I'm sure sorry to hear of your Grandfather's passing, sweetie. *hugs* Sounds like '13 was a hard year all the way around. So thankful that Father protected y'all, & that He's helped you find your way back home. Isn't it amazing the wisdom we reap from our grandmothers? My beloved Mamaw always said that, too, "Moderation in all things." So glad you're back with us~ love you, gal~ *hugs* BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WINNIE1978 1/5/2014 8:43AM

    I'm glad you are ok! emoticon

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I*AM*BLESSED 1/5/2014 8:29AM

    Hey Girlfriend,

Personally, I'm glad you're back home. You've been missed here. With younger aged kiddos, you really need to be available.

Sorry about your accident but God just said it's time to close that particular door. So happy you're okay. emoticon emoticon

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    Epiphanies are such wonderful things! So glad for you and that you made it through to "GO".

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    Glad to hear that you are ok. At least the snow along the edge of the guardrails didn't act like a ramp and send you careening into the river. Oh the joys of snow and winter. Not.

Change, in any form, is hard, and sometimes a pendulum has to swing both ways before it finds a happy middle ground.


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RUNNERRACHEL 1/5/2014 12:38AM

    I am so glad you're ok after your accident. It sounds like that accident was a blessing.

Your kids will be happy to have you home. I think you'll be much happier being at home. Your health, your family, you are more important!

Glad your son is ok!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/5/2014 12:40:09 AM

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