Thursday, January 16, 2014
Combo of "Fun" and "What works for me", because it's fun to make vlogs where I banter about stuff that works for me.
Vlogs are my logs in video form. Sometimes they're closer to a journal, but, that's also "What works for me." This is not edited. I am not adding music or cricket sound effects when I have a moment of distraction.
Cherish something about yourself and you're less likely to give up on the whole package. My hair and my eyes I give my attention to. Some people focus on waxing or manicures. Something that you can cherish so that you won't focus on the negatives or the other things you're trying to improve that take more time. Having something aesthetic to pay attention to helps with self respect and can be a way to preoccupy yourself instead of scorfing food like you're a trash compactor.
Today I am just happy my teenaged daughter is 'allowing' me to grab our computer for a little chillaxin'.
So, to update:
I have dropped some weight after the hubby's holiday heapin'. He was on vacation and I was working extra and he just HAD to cook - ALL the time. When I FINALLY found some courage I had to keep saying, "No, but thank you for the delicious temptations. I really, really want to chunk up on all the excess food and sweets you're soliciting, BUT, my knee is killing me."
I also threw in, "You don't want me to buy a whole new wardrobe for the added weight, right?"
I don't know if it was my health or his frugal wallet, the food is not being waved in my face.
In wake of my car accident, I'm finally coming out of shock. My bosses have bent over backwards to align my schedule to my b.f.f.'s and she is more than content to drive me in. We get an hour a day to vent, dream, and banter. We were on different shifts during the manic holidays and my son's health scare and I 'm pretty sure our next visit would be jail because neither of were coping without our "Therapy" chats.
Water is so amazing. I'm doing superstar when I'm getting 12 cups in. I feel full, hydrated and energized. If I had any wisdom from this journey, that is my Prime Nugget.
I hope to chat more. I'm contemplating a part-time job in town at a coffee shop. I love my job but, I'm pretty sure even my b.f.f. has a threshold for my randomness. It would do me some good to stop hiding from my neighbours. It has been six years and everybody know where I live and I had no idea they existed. Then again, they're not outside hooping and dancing in public like a Homemade Circus. They could do their share and make themselves easier to identify.
Before: It's not the best, but, I'll get the one off our phone/camera when I can have a turn on it TEXASFILLY
Sunday, January 05, 2014
Happy New Year, SparkWorld!
I’ve had a second car accident in a year. My car choked to death on the guardrails I fed it when I was trying to brake for those kind people that neglect their signals lights, on an ice covered road. God Bless, Dipsticks.
(Whomever loves winter driving, raise your hand – and smack yourself silly.)
This time we can not recover financially from the accident. It was my second car that I attempted to slaughter in a year.. However, this time I was successful. My in-luv’s gave me that car so that I could travel to my housekeeping job at the resort. So, our options were for me to work to own a replacement vehicle OR come out of retirement and return to being a Housewife... in the middle of God’s country. This time there’s no homeschooling. The eldest two are enjoying highschool when the eldest isn’t trying to die from his second lung collapse in a year. The younger two boys and daughter are tolerating school. I think that’ll change when they have a mommy home that is not exhausted from walking 15 – 20 kilometers a day.
I’m so happy that I had that car accident. I walked away from it and it woke me up. I loved that job and my employers loved me. Every day I was off-shift my co-workers would say how dull things were without me to ‘cheerlead’ them through their day. I loved the work I did. I spent a decade plus at home teaching or birthing and to be at a place where I could clean uninterrupted was so very beautiful. I ended up becoming a matriarch figure to many of the young ladies I worked with even though I was trying to find a separate identity. I missed being there for my own children. This past year has been a run of chaos – a blur - in health, home, relationships and overall existence. That job was not meant for a mom of young ones. I was expected to run like a racehorse and was rewarded like the stable hand. I skipped my Grandfather’s Funeral last week when I was too exhausted to accept his passing.
Tomorrow I give my notice.
I am no longer working just to work outside of the home. I am looking forward to savouring my life. I blinked and everything went by. It’s as though that accident popped a bubble I’d trapped myself in and I just came up for air. I was not ready to do that lifestyle change overnight like I did. It was not the right time or job for us. I went from a maximum of 20km a week to 17kn a day. I gained weight in an athletic lifestyle because I left myself so depleted that I didn’t have any energy to face myself in the healthy direction. It was like a highschooler in the NFL . Again, I took too big of a leap; in everything I need to learn moderation.
I’m back to Rinsing & Repeating...and...enjoying the things I love.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
First, 5 a.m., you suck.
Second, I miss Sparkworld.
I let fear swallow me. It just snuck up on me out of nowhere. A couple of times it caught me off guard. When I thought it wasn't looking I tried to slowly sneak away from it. My cloaking device acted more like a beacon and I just got scorfed up. Just like that bird that built it's nest on our chimney. Outta nowhere it fell into the darkness of my unlit woodstove until it was freed in the morning; closely resembling that of a bat out of hell when I opened the door.
I got stuck in this vacuum bag of misery with excess. *SCHLURP!*
Then I had that moment. I feel like hell. I got cornered in hell. My choices brought me here and I have to fight my way out.
Then I thought, I deserve hell. I'm right where I deserve to be. It's impossible. Why bother?
That can't be right.
I have not been designed to fail. I am this moment free.
(This Sword of Truth comes in handy, especially when you need to slice your way out of a vacuum bag.)
You know somewhere in those 66 books telling the same story for Peace and Freedom? Ya, the one that's collecting dust on my nightstand where I repaired Ken?...
Wanna hear the story of Ken?
He likes girls. A lot. My daughter has them fighting over him all the time. Well, he offended one of the dozen that he has been gracing with his charms and she beat the crap outta him.
I didn't get details, but, I did get my youngest daughter (whom I am a slave to) bawling her broken heart all over my sanity and I found myself promising I would save this scumbag's life.
He sat on my nightstand greeting me at the end of each long, defeated day and the promise to my daughter would echo itself through my brain as I drifted off to slumber.
He is a doofus. I hate Barbies. It's probably envy of all their fabulous gizmos and pseudo storybook lives. They represent everything unrealistic.
Fairytales, BA HUMBUG!
Just because I hate that world, it doesn't change the fact that my daughter loves it and asked for me to help her take care of it.
One night the promise echoed itself to my heart and I spent forever trying to fix him. ( I love that gel crazy glue by LePage, it works for hula hoops too).
Ken is leading a more honourable life. I like to think my nightstand was the drunk tank that helped sober him up. If it hadn't been for my daughter his life would not be spared and he would not have had a wedding and 7 babies - this week.
Remembering promises and knowing that my Daughter's Doll Rescue is symbolic of my Saviour's rescue and protection of me is helping me venture to a third birthday with Spark. I get embarassed with setbacks and the fact that it takes me FOREVER to accept basic principles in my heath. Instead of getting a number goal looming over my head, I'm going to work leading that temple honouring life.
One Day at a Time.
"God's love is like a circle, a circle big and round. When you see a circle, no ending can be found."
Friday, August 23, 2013
I'd vlog but, I'm wearing the same outfit I wore last week.
v/blog is my diversion from gnawing the handle off of my fridge from stress hunger.
Is there such a thing as 'Stress Hunger'?
There is now.
So, I popped two pieces of teeth whitening gum in my mouth; for three reasons:
A. any more than three I get flatulence that would get me an eviction from our house. Being that gender that dominates my home is male and the majority of them still think that farting is funny that says a lot.
B. it's whitening my teeth which is good because I'm a ridiculously red redhead now and I just had to try red lipstick and my teeth have to be white to pull of that look. They just hafta.
C...the third reason...
I'm avoiding the popcorn, the cookies and that stale fruity snack that is soliciting my attention from under the sofa. I think it needs me...being abandoned like that has to suck...
Things I am stressed over:
1. I'm a redhead.
The process went something like this, "I'm bored with the fake tan, blond hair, blue-eyed thing...anybody can pull off that look with a little aid from plastic and paint...Shakira did. I need a challenge...let's bring red back like Linda Evangelista in the 90's...Just. let's."
I remind myself of Lucille Ball; granted it suits my personality better, but, I've shocked even myself this time.
2. Vacation is in 6 hours and my daughter all-of-a-sudden thinks the life as we know it will 'cease to exist' if she is raven haired when she crosses the border.
She totally gets this from her father.
3. I miss my kids. I went from stay-at-home for 15 years to working mom with five at home and it has me drowning in separation anxiety. I'm done with getting my honey's perspective on the pressures of bills and missing out on family. At the same time, taking up work so he could be home and enjoy his family some has been the best thing for our family bond. Time feels precious and we appreciate each other sooooo much more.
again, at the same, same, time...I am going to enjoy this weekend get-away immensely.
Now, I gotta pack. Tomorrow is almost here...not just for vacation which I've worked so hard for but also my healthy lifestyle goals...chew gum like it's dawning on the Day of Awesome.
Get An Email Alert Each Time SNOWANGELDIVA Posts