SNOOKUMS19   29,843
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Today is a good day!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Feeling great today. Thanks to all those who have been going with me on this journey. My therapist who I met with last week is amazing! She was sent to me from God! I swear! Our son dealt with not having his electronics and now we are back to day to day life. I know he is going to deal with teenage drama and we will deal with that. He is doing so well. I'm so proud of him to come out to us. From what I hear the parents are usually the last to know. He feels so comfortable to tell us who he has a crush on and even that he's writing music to deal with his feelings for his crush. I've read of so many unhealthy ways teenagers have dealt with their feelings I couldn't be more proud of him for being who he is in every way. Thanks again Spark friends!

  
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SOPKAMANJU 1/31/2011 4:56PM

    emoticonI hope you and your son continue to thrive...

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This process is amazing...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

It's amazing how I go from a day of acceptance and love to anxiety and sadness. Yesturday we went to a boy scout ceremony. My younger son is a boy scout and my older son used to be one in the same troop. There was a slide show on the wall that showed my older son when he was 9 years old and older with many of his friends who are still in the troop. It was so sad to see. I want to be accepting of who my son is but some days I mourn the loss of who I believed he was and concerned how these friends will be to him when he comes out to them. High school is so hard. I'm so afraid what will happen when he lets them know. I worry so much about everything. I know having teenagers that worry is part of the job but this is something else all together. I keep hearing this is a process and yesturday and this morning I totally get it. I thought for a few days I was doing sooooo well. Now I feel like I'm back to square one. Thank God to Spark! I was never much of a diary person but typing it out here is good for my soul. I think that is why I haven't binged. I woke up this morning and felt like I had a brick on my chest and thought hmmmm those cookies downstairs would make me feel better. I felt like this would be exactly what would happen in the past with stress and this is more stress than I have ever had. I came downstairs with every intention of eating every cookie. I made a clear choice to make a cup of coffee first. I then made up something healthy for breakfast. Opened up my laptop and came right to spark. I need to take this one moment at a time. Let things be and pray for my son that he will be happy and healthy. That is all I want. Thanks for everything Spark!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERIANA 1/31/2011 5:53PM

    I agree with comments made by others. This generation is much less judgmental. They are okay being themselves but more importantly, they are okay with other people being themselves too. What a concept, right?

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RUNNER12COM 1/31/2011 5:49PM

    I think you will be surprised at how his friends will be. The whole "oh my gosh, he's gay!" thing is such a part of the old generations, not this one.

Be strong. You'll get through this.

SDJ

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SLENDERELLA61 1/30/2011 12:06PM

    So sorry that you are going through this extreme challenge.

Congrats on handling the stress so positively. Celebrate! Celebrate! Pat yourself on the back. You are doing so good. Smile at yourself in the mirror. To substitute sparking for food is just awesome! You are doing a wonderful job in a hard situation. Be sure to give yourself all the credit you deserve.

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CHIQUENS 1/30/2011 11:38AM

    Don't forget that the way that the older generation looks at these things is a lot different than the way the younger generation does.... Most kids, in my experience, don't care NEARLY as much as their parents do.

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JANRTEACH 1/30/2011 10:28AM

    I think you might want to remember that every kid turns out differently and what we hope for our kids usually doesn't match what actually happens. My daughter was in acting, dance and singing for years. All her activities were my life. She is now 30 and doing well, but... she's not in anything I thought would happen. She is in business management for a company that makes big equipment. I mourn the loss of her talents as she fights through the business mire each day. I feel sad when she sits down at the piano once a year and plays a Christmas tune. She is doing well, but not what I expected. I think most of us have a reality check when the kid is about 19. Your check just came earlier. Plus, being gay now is not what it was when we were in high school. My daughter in law works for a university and there are groups and activities all the time for people who have other interests. Hang in there -- hopefully it will get better when your son realizes how hard you are trying to help him.

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JREA24 1/30/2011 7:52AM

    I step at a time. Keep praying for the best.

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He will be trying us...

Friday, January 28, 2011

So I thought we were in a good place with our son. He was supposed to get a ride home from swim practice with my dad. He got a ride instead from a senior on the team that he has a crush on. Then lied to us about it. Unfortunately my husband is a push over. He took away his phone and ipods for the weekend. There definitely would have been more than that if I had a say. I know he feels our son has a lot to deal with but there has to be boundaries or we are screwed! I know I can go overboard sometimes and we usually balance each other out but I worry. I hope my spark friends will help me through these trying years.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 1/31/2011 1:40PM

    Good luck. As you know, EVERY child will push boundaries, special circumstances or not.

You two will find your way through this. Hang in there!

SDJ

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Starting out today feeling good...

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I feel my son is in a good place right now. As a parent my happiness is in direct association to where my kids are emotionally. If you've been following my blogs I wrote that my son has come to my husband and I. We are so proud of him for telling us at 15. I've read alot and most parents are the last to know. I'm so happy we have such a great relationship with him that we were the first he told. He has since told a good family friend of ours. She has many friends who are gay. She was surprised but accepting and suppportive. She actually said she would introduce him to some of her friends. So, it's been quite a stressful couple of weeks but I think we are all going to be ok. We have to find the right way to tell our 13 year old son. We are in therapy and I feel through her guidence we can make this ok for him as well. Thanks for being here Sparkfriends. I have to tell you I did not binge through all of this!!!!! A year and a half ago I would have turned to food in such an unhealthy destructive way. Instead of turning to food I would come hear and read others blogs. Blog myself. Read encouraging comments from others. Go to my message boards. So thanks with all my heart. I could come here to bear my soul when I couldn't go to another person in my life ! You have been here through the most life altering part of my world. Closer to me than my parents and sibling and friends. Thanks again!

  


Well had to blog twice today...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

So went to the therapist today for the first time. I guess I can tell my Spark friends that my son has come out to us that he is gay. He is doing ok and now we just need guidence on how properly to handle all this. Our son is 15, our younger son is 13. We need to figure out how to tell him. I talked to the therapist about this today. I feel a bit better. It is a process. Thanks for being here for me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHIQUENS 1/30/2011 11:45AM

    from the outside looking in, and from someone who lives in Los Angeles, I have to wonder why it's such a big deal? I mean, he's gay, but it's not like he's dying, or he's contagious, or he's going to burst into flames. It just means he loves in a different way.

I was a surrogate twice for a gay couple. They have two healthy girls that they're raising. The only difference between those two guys and any other couple is that they wanted to be parents more. They had to jump through serious hoops, pay out money, go though legal processes, just to do something that two drunk teenagers can do by accident.

Being gay is not a bad thing. It's not something you should worry about telling your younger son, or something that your older son should be ashamed of. Just explain that you love your older son for who he is, no matter what, and that acceptance should filter down to your younger son.

Feel free to message me if you need support on this.

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JANRTEACH 1/27/2011 3:23PM

    So glad it is all working out for you guys. You have made good decisions that will help the whole family. We have been watching and waiting hoping all is OK for you. Take a breath!! You are headed in the right direction.

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