SNOOKUMS19   29,673
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Ready for this New Year! New Year's Eve not so much...

Saturday, December 31, 2011

First we are going to dinner with Joe's cousin and his wife. I love them but they are in their 20's and I am not in my best place weight wise. :( I bought new nice dark wash jeans....very expensive... for dinner at this hot resturant. Well... I found out that on New Years women wear dressy pants or a dress there. Uggg...I don't have anything like that. :( I'm going to go shopping this afternoon for something. We will see. Then after dinner we are going to my sister in laws for the night. I'd say we will get there around 9:30pm so we will be there around 3 hours. I'm just not into that this year. I will do it for the kids. Their cousins will be there. I feel like nothing I say is right around them lately. I have to sensor everything. It's New Year's Eve for God sakes! I don't want to be editing every word. Ugggg... Joe has worked so hard this month. I've barely seen him. I'm feeling a bit resentful of this. He has today and tomorrow off and I should be happy but I'm just mad that he hasn't been around. I'm blessed to have such a driven man and since our kids have been born I've done a great job at reining him in about priorities but this month he just wasn't present at all. I'm very upset and concerned. I told him that January is going to be different. I think it will but right now I can't get out of this funk of being pissed. I will...I know I will but man.... So tomorrow will start a brand new year with alot going on. My dad is applying for jobs in Florida. I'm so happy for them to be moving to a warm place. I know they will love it once they are there. I know I will be packing them along the way and I will miss them so much. We will see...Let's just start with a new year. New healthy food in my house. Healthy choices. Lets do this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWEETYKC00 12/31/2011 9:47PM

    Never a dull day on your world, is there? Stay safe for this, I know that you're worried about everyone else, but you can only really control yourself. Even with everything going on, try to take even a little bit of time for yourself, you'd be surprised what even 10 minutes could do to clear your head with all the ciaos happening. Hugs.

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KAILYNSTAR 12/31/2011 6:30PM

    Hey there Snookums.

I really feel for you. I know what it's like to have driven man in the house. There are times when a person has to put their foot down and just talk. Maybe he's working really hard for a reason or he's avoiding some situation. Who knows?

I do hope that you have a good evening. I hate censoring myself as well. Why can't a person be themselves and just be accepted for what they are.

I'm here for you. Even if I haven't been on the computer as much these past few days.

Hang in there! Things will get better for you and for your family. Right?

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SNOWMAIDEN 12/31/2011 5:08PM

    I can understand your reservations, I hope once you start your evening, it turns out to be better than you thought.


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KANOE10 12/31/2011 10:35AM

    Healthy food in your house. Healthy choices for next year. You are doing it! Have a good New Year's Eve with your family.

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HIPPIECHIC68 12/31/2011 10:19AM

    Hang in there...and be yourself...I have spent many years worrying about what others think of me and what I say, etc...I have learned I just have to be me and if people don't like it...that's just too bad...I can't be anything other than me.

Love to you, my friend...think happy thoughts!

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 12/31/2011 8:44AM

    emoticon

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Thanks for checking in

Friday, December 30, 2011

Thanks so much for being here. I took it all in and will use what I can. I want to work on alot of decore take down today. I'll get some cleaning done and I'll call the podiatrist. I will work on good food choices as well. I'd like to get some cute top for New Years Eve dinner. Josh is at wrestling practice and Adam is still sleeping. He has swim from 9:30 to noon. I really miss my cardio right now. I'm trying. I need that endorphine rush. ugg. So it's Friday. I hope my Sparkies have a great one!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNESYLVIA 12/30/2011 2:18PM

    Take care of you foot first the cardio can wait!

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BLACKROSE_222 12/30/2011 11:20AM

    emoticon

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HIPPIECHIC68 12/30/2011 9:52AM

    Can you do anything like on a mini tramp that might ease the impact, or maybe water aerobics???

Just a thought. Love to you!! emoticon

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I'm stressed

Thursday, December 29, 2011

K...I know what this is about. I'm stressed out. Josie working unbelievable hours. Adam is spending an enormous time at Chris's house. I'm feeling left out. I don't want to be the parents that lose their kid to the boyfriends family. I've found out that his dad let's them hang out in Chris's bedroom with the door open. I talked to Joe about this and we've decided to let them hang in the basement with the door open. We will see. I know Joe will more available after the new year but this is hard. Really hard. I'm trying. I feel like I've lost grip of situations here. Breathe...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_IS_BEST 12/29/2011 9:21PM

    It'll be okay! It sounds like you are finding manageable and fair solutions. It will work out!

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SEASONS_CHANGE 12/29/2011 7:03PM

    By giving him some breathing room will make him feel that he can come to you with anything.

Let us know if you need some extra support. We're here for ya!

emoticon

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HIPPIECHIC68 12/29/2011 12:44PM

    emoticon

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HARTKITTY 12/29/2011 11:06AM

    I here you my friend, it is hard to have to face your kids growing up but at least its in front of you and not behind your back. Thanks my friend for all your love and support during this really hard /hectic time in my life, believe me my wife also has to be very understanding when I'm away so much.

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DEBK0923 12/29/2011 10:28AM

    This is stressful for any parent, and to ignore the being alone in the bedroom just isn't right. I agree with your worry, I know in my position I've told parents to establish values and parental opinions on their children and have trust they will do what is right for their future, but my parents tried that and I had a son when I just turned 18, it was very hard for me losing my freedom at that age, having to go to work, school to further my education, and try to be there for my son... it doesn't work. You are so right to enforce your rules for his/her protection, and stand firm. emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 12/29/2011 10:25AM

    Time to take a step back and breath again. It's going to be ok. Adam is a teenager and will want to be away from home and be with his boyfriend, if they are not doing anything wrong then you don't need to worry too much. You have raised him well and as long as he knows what is expected of him at home and away, then try to give him some credit for now. You haven't lost control, I know you have issues with that, but you still have some control over things.

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VENISEW1 12/29/2011 10:20AM

    I'm not looking forward to when my kids are old enough to start to seperate from me even though it's a good sign. We are trying to raise healthy self sufficient adults. We need to trust that we've taught them right from wrong & that they make good choices for themselves.
So much easieer said than done emoticon emoticon

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Ok gotta get it together

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I need to be accountable....two days of chocolates for dinner...not ok! I had an awful night sleep. I'm in a bad place with food. I did great until four o'clock. Greek yogurt for breakfast, chop salad no cheese with vinaigrette dressing on the side. Then I went shopping for jeans...uggggg. Back to a size twelve. Right where I started. I know I said I would be back on track starting Sunday. I feel though I'm getting into an extremely dangerous place with food. The binging is getting bad. I'll take a breathe. I'm drinking a lot of green tea. Thanks for being here. I will keep sparking! We are in for the night.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIRAGE727 12/28/2011 11:01PM

    It happens. Now focus on coming back! Balance out the week, concentrate on working out, and you'll be fine! Been there, done that! All the best...
emoticon

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HDHAWK 12/28/2011 6:23PM

    Hang in there. Hubby got me new jeans for Christmas because I won't spend the money on something temporary (I hope). They didn't begin to fit so I have exchange them for bigger ones tomorrow. Ugh! I've packed up most of the treats and gotten them out of the house. emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 12/28/2011 5:35PM

    If you are like me, an emotional eater...you may need to sit down and think what is triggering the binging. Possible even write things down. If it is just the chocolates well, throw them out.

Good Luck!

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Let school vaca week begin!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Josh had to be at school for varsity wrestling practice at 7am...Adam will need to be at varsity swimming practice at 9:30am until noon. School vaca? They seem to be ...where? School! LOL...They are happy. So that's good :). I have a meeting with my therapist at 2pm. I'm happy about that. I guess I'll give her a chance to talk today. I usually take control of the hour right away but I feel open to her thoughts this time. I guess that's a good sign. Food was better yesterday. Excellent food choices for meals. Eggwhites with spinach for breakfast. Cobb salad for lunch without cheese. Dlnner chicken with lettuce and salsa. Yum... But....the darn Christmas chocolates were all over the place. Uggg.... A couple here...a couple there...Today will be better. All desserts will be leaving the house today. Joe will be leaving for work with them. Let those ladies at work eat all those calories. We visited with Joe's best friend and their family yesterday. That was awkward. We found out last week that he went back to his wife before Thanksgiving. He looks like a beaten down man. Very uncomfortable to watch. I think their son, who is a college student, has lost most of his respect for his dad. It's a train wreck. I was happy to leave that visit. It's hard for me to watch and I want to fix it. I know that I can't so I was ready to bolt when I could. I will pray for them. Update... our family friends daughter who thought she needed to tell Adam that God didn't want him to act on being gay...she wanted to be his facebook friend. Yeah...hmmmm....we thought about this for a while. Adam decided to accept her friend request. We will see. I know she has been taught these things from her parents. She has been contacting us so maybe we can educate her a bit and open her eyes. We will see. I hope all my spark friends are well and ready for an awesome 2012!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWEETYKC00 12/27/2011 8:27AM

    Wow, so many things and so little time, right? Now things can get back to normal and settle down again, take things one step at a time.

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