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getting used to the idea

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

So Adam is officially 16. I'm so glad I saw my therapist yesterday. I cried my way through it but I 'm glad I went. I threw out the chocolate that was left here yesterday. No more for me. I had Josh hide his candy :). I'm having breakfast with mom this morning. Healthy omlette is in order. My food choices were bad yesterday but that will change today. I feel better today. I told Joe today that I'm not buying anymore wine for the house. I'm feeling clearer lately. I think I had been drinking much more the past 3 years. I've also realized that is when we first realized Adam was struggling with his sexuality. He really didn't want to deal with it unil a year ago this month. I think I began using social drinking as a coping skill. Dr. Oz was sating a glass a wine a day was good for ones health. There are antioxidants in red wine. All my friends and half our family would partake often. These were my excuses. They seemed valid and since no one new about Adams struggle they just thought I was being social. I did as well. Now I see differently. I need to

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BLACKROSE_222 11/2/2011 12:03PM

    emoticon You are doing the best you can. That is all that matters.

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Happy sweet 16 Adam!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Ok...So I am sooooo emotional today. I really can't stand myself :). 16 years ago today I gave birth to this perfect baby boy. Here we are! I can't believe 16 years has gone by! He is such an amazing strong, caring thoughtful, wonderful person. We are so blessed. Here I go again... I need a tissue :). I had an appt. with my therapist and cried like a baby through it. Oh well, I guess thats therapeautic right? So... food was horrible yesterday but today has been great! I went to my first Zumba class this morning! Yay! It was amazing. It was the class with my positive awesome fun supportive ladies. They rock. I caught them up on my life for the past 6 weeks. I stayed in the back and only did what felt right. Pat on the back... After class and a shower my foot actually felt looser and better! So classes only every other day for a while. It will take alot to make sure I don't go tomorrow. I can get used to having this back in my life every day. I know...every other day... So we are going to get Adam his learners permit book today. He will be soooo psyched! We can't wait for Glee tonight!!!! Yay! Have a great day!

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TWEETYKC00 11/1/2011 9:51PM

    Happy Birthday Adam! Sending some love for you both today. I bet going to the therapist was a blessing today, right? Take it easy on your foot, I know you want to jump right back in with your Zumba, but you don't want to hurt yourself either. Have a great night.

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KAILYNSTAR 11/1/2011 5:28PM

    My son got his learner's at fourteen. I think that we have the youngest starting to drive in Canada. (Could be wrong).

Congratulations Adam for turning sixteen and good luck on your learner's permit.

Snookums, you did great for not over doing anything during Zumba.

What a day!


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Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween! It's so weird. I haven't bought any candy yet. We live on a back road with only 4 other houses. So not much candy needed. I usually buy way to much anyway. Not this year. Ha! I will buy a bit today. Adam has invited Chris over to watch scary movies tonight. Hmmm... we will see how that goes. So today is a quiet day here. I'll be working on getting the house back together from the weekend. I also have some errands to run. I'm making eggwhites with lowfat cheddar and some ham for breakfast. Food was good yesterday. I will see my therapist tomorrow. I"m looking forward to that. Tomorrow is Adams 16th birthday. Wow! Can't believe it! Have a great day!

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TWEETYKC00 10/31/2011 10:02PM

    I hope you were a good girl with the candy. I can't believe that Adam will be 16! Happy Birthday to him!

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HIPPIECHIC68 10/31/2011 11:23AM

    Boo! Have a great evening!

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GONEWLIFE 10/31/2011 9:20AM

    Happy Halloween !

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No Computer since Thursday!!!!Uggg!!!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wow! I was freaking out! I guess the outlet the laptop is usually hooked up to isn't working. Took us til today to figure that out :)...We are not very tech savey...I ate much better today. Thank God. I feel stronger. I feel so much better with good stuff in it. I will start Zumba up on Tuesday. I'm so psyched for that. A pretty good weekend. I'll catch up more tomorrow. Hope you all had a great weekend.

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MIRAGE727 10/30/2011 10:02PM

    Ah. been there, got past the suicidal tendencies! Thank goodness, I have a smartphone and a powerful special edition geek notebook. Glad you survived.

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TWEETYKC00 10/30/2011 9:19PM

    Glad to hear it was something simple and you're back up and going again! Keep up the good work, you'll love being back with your classes I'm sure.

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GAILRUU 10/30/2011 8:36PM

    Funny how addicting technology has become. I really miss my internet access when I am not able to check my email.

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Ok...bad food week...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Its official...I have been making bad food choices. I'm chalking it up to jet lag and wanting comfort food. I knew even when I bought bagels for the kids...Ha Ha ha... yeah... I ate the first one of course. This morning. I had a bagette with my lunch yesterday. The salad was absolutely awful. True. No excuse to eat the bread though. But I did. I had fudge, kisses and dark chocolate last night. I did drink more water yesterday. I will do better. My stomache is very off. I thought I was gonna be sick at 2am. I didn't but I had an awful headache and stomache pain. No headache today but my stomache still hurts. Probably why I ate the bagel. Comfort food. I will do better. I will get more done today. I'm not feeling extremely guily but aware of what I'm doing. That is good. I made tilapia with broccoli for dinner. That was good. I have to watch myself. Thats why I'm here. Thanks friends!

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KAILYNSTAR 10/30/2011 5:47PM

    You sound a liitle bit off to me too.

Maybe you're coming down with something, or perhaps, your body is fighting a virus or jet lag.

Eat lightly and hopefully you'll be back to yourself soon.

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TWEETYKC00 10/27/2011 9:42PM

    I, too agree with Blackrose here. You can do this, you are a fighter all the way!

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TABBYARTS 10/27/2011 4:47PM

    I agree with BlackRose. work it off!

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BLACKROSE_222 10/27/2011 11:41AM

    At least you recognize the facts - but try to move away from the Comfort 'Food'. Try getting in a walk or a workout when you are stressed, sad, or need comfort. Or even take some Me time - a bubble bath, read your book, these types of things. Feeding it with food just isn't going to help you in anyway, and it is so short term.

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