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Wenesday

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

So I sat with Adam for an hour after school watching To Catch a Predator. I show that used to be on Dateline about teens being groomed online by people who look like normal people and are psycho. Who knows if it meant anything. I took his ipod and computer time. I need to talk to my brother about how to make his phone only useable for calling Joe and I. I have a call into his therapist but haven't heard back yet. I don't trust anything he does right now. I'm going to see the podiatrist again on Friday. I hope he will tell me something that will help. I only have until next Friday and I'm not feeling confident at all about how I will be for that trip. Food has been ok. A couple extra snacks here and there. I was weighed again at the dr. Monday and I lost another pound since August :)...I guess thats better than gaining especially unable to exercise. I feel so helpless on this couch but I'm getting by. I prayed alot yesterday. I will continue that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEKEIKO 10/5/2011 9:45PM

    Things will get better soon. Just tell yourself "this too will pass". I hope you can get back to Zumba. You were so happy when you were shaking it up. I feel you sadness now. Hang in there. emoticon

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TABBYARTS 10/5/2011 3:13PM

    HartKitty has some good suggestions. I am praying for you and Adam that he be given discernment.

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BLACKROSE_222 10/5/2011 12:28PM

    You are doing the best you can, with what you have been given. Keep resting, and try to eat as well as you can - it can only make things feel better.

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HARTKITTY 10/5/2011 11:51AM

    Hi my friend. I'm sorry you are feeling week at the moment what with Adam and your feet. I am holding you in prayer. It might be an idea to do some online research as there is a lot of advise for Gay teens and their Parents there are also sights for gay Christians. Adam is going to start looking I remember when I first realized that I was gay I felt like a child in the candy shop "so many women, so little time." so realizing that he is going to start looking it may be an idea to guide the choices of where he looks (like spark) offer healthy choices rather than allowing him to go mad at the eat- all- you- can diner

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WADINGMOOSE 10/5/2011 10:28AM

    emoticon

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HIPPIECHIC68 10/5/2011 9:42AM

    Sounds like you are doing all you can...hopefully Adam will be able to talk about this with his therapist and you with yours.

emoticon

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Another day

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Adam came home and I showed him what I"ve found. He ended up telling me He started a blog on Utube!!!!! He showed me the 4 video posts he put on in the last 3 weeks. The first was his coming out and then he just wanted to start having followers and subscribers to his blog!!!!!!!! I watched them and didn't find anything that could show where we live. He told me the video he made that I found in the morning he never sent out because he used Josh's flip cam and couldn't figure out how to get it to the utube site. I don't believe him. I had a lengthy conversation with him about all the things that could be bad about this. I told him with everything we have supported him with this year how he could go upstairs and make these behind our backs. He told me he watched a utube clip about an 18 year old boy who posted a video blog and found a great 18 year old boy and they are dating!!!!!!!!! I told him how this could all be to get teenagers to do this and find them and attack and kill them. He ended up crying and telling me he is sorry but I just don't know. I really don't know what to do. He said he is open to seeing his therapist again. I will call her today. Joe had a talk with him last night. I think that meant nothing. Joe had a very volite relationship with is dad. So he doesn't want to allienate Adam so he doesn't try to scare him at all. I texted and talked to Mike and he is very angry at Adam. He says he is putting Adam on a different ladder than Adam was on. I asked him to talk to Adam and Joe. He said he will but last night would not be the right night for it. I feel we should be punishing him but I"m not sure what that should be. I definitely want to take his ipod away. I'm not sure exactly what else yet. Thanks for getting back to me. I'm so scared for him. For us.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWEETYKC00 10/4/2011 8:39PM

    Oh My Gosh, he posted on the internet and he is getting the idea that it might be ok to hook up that way? I really, really hope that your talk sinks in with him, anything can happen. At least he didn't post anything that could put him in any immediate danger right now. Is there anything you can do to close down his blog or account to keep things from getting any worse? I will be praying for all of you and for the situation.

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KAILYNSTAR 10/4/2011 7:07PM

    I'm relieved that Adam talked and showed you what he was doing. Now you know what his site name is and where it is. Unfortunately, he is so young and obviously doesn't understand what he is doing. Just because he wants to meet someone, that is so not the way to do it.

Therapy is a good idea. As for taking his phone, I have no ideas about that, that's because none of my kids have cell phones. (Can you believe that?)

I really hope that things will calm down and he realizes what he has done.

Hang in there and take this one day at a time.
emoticon

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KEKEIKO 10/4/2011 11:26AM

    This is a lot for you as a mother to deal with now on top of what you are going through with your injury.

There's a danger for anyone posting and meeting others on line. I've tried to instill that on my teens. It's a scary world out there with all this technology available to the youth of today. It's especially unsettling for us as parents not being able to protect our children from sick predators.

On the other hand there is your son who you love dearly that is trying to fit in.

Gentle hugs from one mother to another. emoticon

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BLACKROSE_222 10/4/2011 9:45AM

    I'm so sorry. It sounds like you are doing what you can right now - definitely call his Therapist about it, and explain. It might also help if you had someone you could talk to - a Therapist, a friend who isn't involved, just another opinion and an ear to lay out the troubles too.

HUGS.

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OMG...bad day

Monday, October 03, 2011

Sooooo bad!!!!! I called the podiatrist this morning and they can't see me until Friday. I went on to the computer to find some document for Adam and found a video Adam made about why someone would want to date him!!!!!!!!!! I feel sick. I'm so worried he posted it somewhere!!!!! I want to throw up. Then my mother picked me up for a dr. appt. and was just being really accusitory about a friend I should have over!!! R U KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!! I went off on her. I did. I blew up at her like I never have before. She wouldn't drive me home so I could take myself to the dr. so she got it with both barrels. I can't take much more. I can't exercise, I can't binge, I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to tell Joe about Adam while he is at work. I have to wait until he is home. My mother was crying on the way home. I apologized for some things I said but told her right now I can't handle how she is being. I still can't believe all this. I'm scared I'm losing it. I will keep blogging and hope peace will come. Crazy though my foot feels better today. I'm gonna sit here and do nothing again. Maybe that will help my foot but not my mind. I don't even have a friend I would want to call about this. Thats why I come here. Help Sparkies.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HARTKITTY 10/5/2011 11:38AM

    My friend I'm so sorry I only read this blog now.

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TWEETYKC00 10/3/2011 9:02PM

    Have a good long sit down with Joe before you go off on Adam for anything, maybe he didn't post anything yet. Take it easy and try not to make things worse than they have to be. I hope that your Dr can get you in as soon as possible. I hope your mom can understand in time what is going on and you can work things out. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to drop in on me in a hurry. Send me an email or something and we can talk, that is what your friends are for.

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KEKEIKO 10/3/2011 7:58PM

    Okay .. do I need to call you? Spark mail me your number and I'll do it. I'll even listen to you cry. You need to release the pent up frustration. You're so cooped up it's horrible.
Gentle hugs.

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ANNESYLVIA 10/3/2011 7:24PM

    Oh no, did Adam & his boyfriend break up? I am curious because I been out of touch. I just don't know why he would do a video unless he is looking for another to date?

As for mom, Oh well, such is life....she butted into your business so you not so politely asked her to but-out. She should be ashamed of herself to treat you like a child. You invite who you want for company at your home. Done end of case.

As for doing nothing young lady...why is that? Get a book to read. What about chair aerobics? Lifting some dumb-bells maybe? Or simply rack up some major points on SP!!

Good Luck friend emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TABBYARTS 10/3/2011 5:20PM

    Good for standing up to your Mom. Ask Adam what he is doing. Stay off you foot and continue Sparking. Lord Gog, I pray that you send your Holy Spirit to infuse the heart of my friend with the peace that she dearly needs. Amen

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KAILYNSTAR 10/3/2011 12:01PM

    I hate when things all happen at once.

You have to talk to Adam, but don't alienate him.

As for you Mom, good for you for standing up for yourself. Sometimes, I wish I had the guts to do that. Like yesterday.

Hang in there.

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Another day.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Hung out in bed until 11am...Showered and went to lunch with family. I had an eggwhite omlette for breakfast with lowfat cheddar and spinach. Lunch was a a salad with turkey and roastbeef. Headed home and have been on the couch since. I had chicken in tomatoe sauce over steamed broccoli for dinner. Boys are at rehearsal. I'm once again hanging on the couch watching another movie. I'm making an appointment with my podiatrist tomorrow. I want an Xray or MRI to see exactly what is up. Maybe I need a boot to keep my foot in place. I will see. Pretty down today but everyone is sick of my whining over here. At least I'm not packing on pounds. There is a silver lining.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_IS_BEST 10/2/2011 11:15PM

    You are eating really great, especially for being laid-up. Good for you!

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TWEETYKC00 10/2/2011 9:11PM

    Hang in there, your foot will heal and then nothing can stop you from doing anything you can to move!

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KEKEIKO 10/2/2011 8:21PM

    The injury has definitely put a damper on things. You will recover and be back to shaking it up again. How about doing some crunches and dumbbell exercises? At least you'll get a workout.

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MIQUEY73 10/2/2011 7:07PM

    Sorry you're feeling down! Sounds like you're staying on track. I hope the doctor gives you some good news or a plan toward getting better!

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Saturday.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Joe is off to work. Josh is already at the football field prepping for game. Adam is still in dreamland. I'm on the couch drinking some decaf coffee watching some morning news. My outing for the day will be going to Josh's game. It's rainy and damp. Yuck. Hate that weather. I will go because I love my boy but....yuck. He loves this stuff :). I will read and hang today. My foot feels really good. I'm sooooo happy about that. I will baby it as long as needed to have a great vaca in Hawaii. Have a great day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 10/1/2011 2:14PM

    Have a good time, whether you want to or not!

I myself and going out to the acerage and plant some seed. Hopefully it won't be overrun by weeds in the spring.


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BLACKROSE_222 10/1/2011 12:17PM

    Glad your foot is feeling better! Enjoy the weekend!

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JOHNMARTINMILES 10/1/2011 8:53AM

    Great, a lazy Saturday. I have similar plans but with two grandsons playing football and three granddaughters cheerleading. Another happy Saturday at the ball field!

Make it a great weekend!

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