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Busy busy busy....

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A very busy Saturday. I went to my hip hop class and saw the director of class. She wants me to teach 3 songs on Thursday!!!! Uggggg... I guess I will get it together and make that happen. Pray begins now. I went to my neices party. She is a sweetheart. Just love her. I ate exceptionally well :)...until... dessert. I had a yummy piece of homemade red velvet cake with cheesecake frosting and chocolate graham cracker crust. Omg! So amazing. I also had a big scoop of red velvet ice cream. Yum! I won't beat myself up abou that. I was a party and worth every bite. We went to the evening show and the kids improved so much! We sat in the front row which was fun :). Adam has definitely been bit by the acting bug. After the show he told me that the director of the play that Adam was asked to perform with for the next two weeks was in the audience and told the voice coach that he is fantastic! Adam was beaming :). Here is where I was bad... The cast went to Friendly's of all places after the show. I detest the food there so ended up with a happy ending sundae. I got this new yummy flavor. Peanut brittle...Omg again! I chose chocolate syrup instead of hot fudge and Joe ate some of my whipped cream. I felt like I was on a sugar high. I haven't had that much dessert in a long time. Ugggg... I actually feel a tiny longing for mor sugar already this morning. I will distract myself. I will not spiral. Adams last show is today. Rehersal for next show starts tomorrow night. I need to go back to basics today with food. A few days of basics and I should feel back on track. Have a great day. Enjoy!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOMORESTALLING 8/14/2011 10:18PM

    AH It was a special week end. You went you saw you enjoyed. Take a good swig of lemon juice in water that'll curnb you desire for sugar real fast1

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OLDERTWIN1 8/14/2011 9:15AM

    Everyone has those "bad-but delicious" days .... you are not alone. But we, friends on SP, know that you will bounce back this week and be back on track, and better then ever !!

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Wow! What an amazing openning night!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

It was so awesome. These kids were great! Adam had 13 friends and family there to see him in one of the lead parts of 13 the musical. :) He was so great. It was very emotional for me. I told Joe this morning...we have always been a bit more worried about Adam. We didn't get why but he never seemed in his element. In baseball, basketball... I saw him completely in his element last night. He was Adam. It was a beautiful thing. He sang beautifully and acted... Wow...ok now I'm gushing again. I'm a proud mama. My inlaws of course drove me absolutely nuts. I have to be with them today at a party while Joe is at work. Those events are usually difficult. Today will be torture. Food choices great! I worked on my routine for an hour yesturday and felt much more confident. I know 7 songs down and have 3 that I'm working on. Only a couple more new ones and I'm gold. I was offered another job yesturday! At my gym. Its Wenesday mornings at 9 30 am. Perfect for me! My goal by January is to have all of my classes in the morning. I'm going to my hip hop class at 10 30 and then bring Adam over to play run through at 12 30. My parents and brother and his family will go while I'm at the party. Ugggg.... I will pray my way through that party and count the minutes until the play tonight. Prayer has helped me so much this week. Thanks sparkies for reminding me of how important it is. :) I get caught in my head sometimes and can't see the answer right in front of me. The Lord is always the answer. Thanks for pulling me out of my drama. Have a great day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TABBYARTS 8/15/2011 9:01PM

    OY SUCH A MAMELA! You SHOULD KVELL! (swell with pride)
It is great that Adam has found his element.
And that his parents are supportive.
Wouldn't it have been great for him to have been in a GLEE class in High School!?!?!?!

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TWEETYKC00 8/14/2011 9:13PM

    Gush away, you have such a great son in Adam, isn't he worth what your in laws can put you through right now?I'll be praying for everything to workout in every way.

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MRDPOLING 8/14/2011 7:21PM

    When he makes it to hollywood and y'all are stinking rich, I hope you will remember us little (hopefully we'll all be littler by then) people. emoticon

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KEKEIKO 8/13/2011 10:00AM

    A very busy day indeed! Take a few deep breaths and you'll get through the day. Congrats to your son on the play. Always nice to be a proud parent! You did well!

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HARTKITTY 8/13/2011 9:56AM

    I am so pleased for you, not being a parent I am not sure I am right but it must be an awesome feeling to see your child come into his own.

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 8/13/2011 9:33AM

    I'm so glad it all went well! Good for Adam!

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SNUGLBUNIE 8/13/2011 8:25AM

    You should gush and be a proud mama. Sounds like you had a wonderful time and you will do good today!

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My son is a star today!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Openning night...he was quite nervous this morning. My stomache is a bit nervous for him as well. That will definitely help with food choices :). I'm going to start working on my routine after I blog. I took yesturday off from Zumba. My brain needed a bit of a break from it. I'm ready this morning. I realized last night that I have 5 weeks until my class. When I think back to what I had been able to do with my routine 5 weeks ago it all clicked. I've come so far in that time. I'll be ready. I'm listening to Zac Brown Band on the Today show. Omg love them so much. Such yummy beachy music. I wanna plop a chair on the beach whenever I hear them. Ahhhh the beach... I am getting distracted. Anyway. Awesome Friday is here. Food has been awesome. Work outs have been awesome. Feeling strong and loving my closet these days. I have found my secret to consistency....find what you love and do it. What did you love to do as a kid? When mom threw you out of the house after school and said get some fresh air before dinner... what did you do? Did you play some basketball? Did you ride your 10 speed bike for hours? Did you practice handstands or hoola hoop? I blaired my boom box and danced around like a fool with my girlfriends or made up new cheer routines for the next basketball game :). Ahhh those were the days :). Thats what happens. I get to my dance class and it brings me back. Makes me feel 17 again. Remember then? How life was endless... we just had a blast. It wasn't exercise it was having fun! Releasing all that pent up energy after a long day in a school. Now its releasing it all from a long day at the office...whatever that looks like to you. Have fun with your life. Even if its only 30 minutes. Listen to your mother and get some fresh air. You 'll be amazed by what happens! Have a great day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TABBYARTS 8/15/2011 8:55PM

    you are also a star!

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MRDPOLING 8/13/2011 7:06AM

    Sounds like you have descovered your own time machine!

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JOHJEN1 8/12/2011 6:51PM

    I have been really struggling to get excercise in... I think I will head your advise and find something I love doing! Thank you for the inspiration!

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Thanks so much for your support...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I am so grateful for all of you for your comments and words of wisdom. I will reread them all when I feel those moments of retreat. Which happen quite often. I went to my Zumba class last night and got more info. Yay! I was offered their studio to come in and practice in front of a full mirror and one of the students who actually evaluates instuctors actually offered to come and help me with my routine when I use the studio!!!! I will definitely do that next week! So thank you again for pardon the pun ...talking me off the roof. Guess what! Our basement is now carpeted and our kitchen floor has flooring!!!!!! Yay!!!! I feel like a new woman! I can't believe how messed up I felt with my house not together. I don't do well in chaos. Obviously. Guess what again!!! Adam is in this acting summer camp and he is a natural. A boy who was in the broadway musical 13.. which Adam is a lead in this summer musical... commented that Adam did a great job and was shocked that he hadn't done any acting before. :) He said he was a natural. This boy is headed to Juliard in New York City in the fall! The director of voice approached me this morning to tell me the head of another acting company needs a lead for a play coming up in two weeks. She recommended Adam and would love him to be this charecter! She said he was a natural as well! Gush! Gush! Gush! I don't know what to say! I'm in awe and once again speechless by my amazing son. So with his bravery of coming out this year he has also found a passion that people are praise him for! I'm inspired by my family every day. I am blessed. So blessed to have all my Sparkfriends as well. To share the good, the bad and the ugly! Have a wonderful summer day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 8/11/2011 2:37PM

    Congratulations for your son! I am so very excited about the news.

I'm sorry that I haven't been here for you and I do think of you. I just hate having my routing interupted all of the time by going to the library. There is only so much time a person is allowed to use the computers here.

I received a phone call from the insurance company and we have the go ahead of doing our own basement. (We're in the business). So my husband is working in the basement as of right now.

As for my own computer, it is still in the repair shop waiting for the insurance company to pay or confirm that they will pay.

I miss you and I am so glad that you are getting support from your classmates.

Take care of yourself.

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 8/11/2011 12:49PM

    Cool about your son. I am glad you are feeling better with your house in order. Keep moving forward.

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KKINNEA 8/11/2011 11:12AM

    Good things!

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TWEETYKC00 8/11/2011 10:29AM

    Glad that everything is falling into place and you can get back into your own personal grove again. You have plenty to gush over, Adam is a great kid and it sounds like he is really going places, be proud!

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Ok so I've found my main issue....

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Ok... here we go. I get to the moment when I can really excell and accomplish something great. Graduating with my bachelors degree (in psychology no less), new job at a bank, and now this opportunity to teach and I just choke. I want to just retreat. Go back to what has worked and not deal with how uncomfortable it all feels. It is so uncomfortable. I worry about everything. I feel like I just can't practice enough. It's so ridiculous. I know. I'm a grown woman who should just get it together and make it happen. This is also when I start to binge.... I haven't. I don't even feel like I want to really. I'm feeling all of this instead of eating it away. Score yes. Feeling this isn't fun. It also doesn't make it any better. I am acknologing it all but I still feel it. Ugggggg. It's funny whether I'm a size 8 or a size 12 the situations are still there. The house needs to get clean. I have to deal with my moms stuff. I have to work on and perform my Zumba. I guess this is when my yo yo effect shows up. I have a goal to lose. Then when I do I feel like the world will be a better place. There will be chick flick movie music playing all day and all my worries will be gone. Wrong. Life is still the same. I just look much cuter trying to work through it. Yes I am healthier. Yes I feel much stronger physically to do what needs to be done. What I need now is a mental makeover. The physical one is beautiful and I am proud of what I've accomplished but my brain has to change now. Unfortunately my therapist had to cancel this week and now I have to wait a few weeks to see her. Well....Sparkies who've dealt with these issues...bring it on! Give me your words of wisdom. I want it all! I need it for this to be a perminent change! Thanks!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEKEIKO 8/10/2011 11:09AM

    You are stepping out of your comfort zone and it's a little scary but if you hold your head up high and go with it things will get better. In a few months from now you'll be a pro without worries. You would not have accepted to teach the Zumba class had you not been confident. You can do it! Hugs, Keke

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HARTKITTY 8/10/2011 11:07AM

    I may be wrong but I feel that I have seen physiological growth in you in the short time that I have known you, you coped wonderfully well with Adam, you accepted the fact that your mother cannot give you love in the way you would like. You chose not to be influenced by negative people around you. You even grew in your marriage choosing to accept it and be happy in it as it was. You even coped with grace and gentleness when you thought you were being hit on. What is it that you have not accomplished?

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MIRAGE727 8/10/2011 11:05AM

    Take it slowly. You can only handle one thing at a time. You can also only be concerned with what is in your control. Prioritize and Neutralize! I go through the same thing and I'm retired. I take one room at a time and clean. I deal with my mom, who is ill and under my sis's care. I can only do so much. I am still actively looking to volunteer or find something that gives me worth. I just take it as it comes. We can't solve the problems of the world. But we can play with time management. Just a few thoughts that might help. Thanks for sharing and keep the faith. Also change the music in your head.
emoticon

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RUNNER12COM 8/10/2011 10:34AM

    "I'm a grown woman who should just get it together and make it happen."
_________

What's with the "should" nonsense? You didn't lose weight by beating yourself up, so why do you think it's the best way to improve mentally and emotionally?

Try this, instead. "I want __________, so I will __________."

It isn't about what you should or shouldn't do. It's about what you WANT to do and what you are willing to do to make it happen.

This is about choice and control, not about the expectations of others.

You can do this.

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KKINNEA 8/10/2011 10:26AM

    I'm not certain I can help because I think my brain feels the same way!

I can often get through situations with grit or imaging - imagine yourself doing great in your class, or coming up with the solutions to your problem. It usually works!

I know you can do it - you always seem to deal with other issues you've talked about with grace and humor!

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VBPARROTHEAD 8/10/2011 10:04AM

  Do you really need to know why or is not knowing an excuse for not overcoming and moving on? Sometimes there isn't an underlying reason other than we just don't want to "do it". When that happens just remind yourself to put on your "big girl panties" and do what needs to be done! You are strong and able to do just that! It isn't easy and thatis why you can't put on the little girl pants!

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SNOOKUMS19 8/10/2011 9:56AM

    I guess that is it... I don't know what makes me do this. I'm aware now of this happening I just don't get why I"ll allow myself to retreat at the last minute. I won't do that this time but I'm aware of how easy it would be too. I like this being my new goal. I'll work with that idea! Thanks!

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TABBYARTS 8/10/2011 9:31AM

    So what is your main issue? Is it really important to identify at this point? Remember to set up smaller tasks to attain your long term goal, whether it be designing a lesson, or losing weight. That can BE a lesson plan.

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