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Thanks Spark friends. Feeling better.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Sorry about the whining yesturday. I think those fans were blowing my sense away :) So mom brought my gown to a bridal shop who is sending it out for restoration. I feel much better about that. I think going to the therapist brought all of my feelings front and center and I just let it all go on my blog. I did cry alot at the meeting. I haven't done that in a long time. I think I have been in protect and support mode with Adam and our family I haven't been able to move along the process myself. I hate the process. I'm not very good at it. I just want to be ok and I guess that won't be ok untill I just let it happen. She keeps saying that it is a death. I understand, kinda. I guess there is stages of death. So I will work through this and pray alot and blog... alot. Most days are great . Adam is great. Joe is working through stuff now. I am here for him. I guess I just wanted her to give me tools to make it easier or quicker to process. I guess there isn't any. We had such a nice night. We went to DiBella's for subs. Yum. Came home and watched Modern Family in our tiny full size bed. Door shut so can't hear fans! So two teenagers, Joe, me and our dog all hanging out laughing our faces off. That was good. I am so blessed. So skipped the gym for subs and mind numbing TV. Gotta do it sometimes. Going to Zumba this morning with good friend. Have a healthy day friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VBPARROTHEAD 5/5/2011 10:19PM

  Well, so what that you whined a bit? We all need a place to go to whine sometimes and here is a good place! As for crying, it is healing behavior, except when an onion causes the tears! And your therapist is right about the death part but did she mention the birth that comes as a result of that death. well, there should be a birth of a stronger and confident person! I sort of think of it as the "born again" thing that jesus talked about! Yea, all the evangelicals in our area (and there are many) think that I am headed straight for a visit with Lucifer for thinking like that but I think they will be surprised.

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MRDPOLING 5/5/2011 2:12PM

    There is nothing like a good cry to clean the soul!

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HARTKITTY 5/5/2011 12:12PM

    You go girl! Sometimes one must just let it all hang out. It does the soul good to just put everything down and its also OK to get cross with God sometimes. He can handle it

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KAILYNSTAR 5/5/2011 11:23AM

    I think that you are just like the rest of us...Crying lets out tension, hurt, love, pain, sadness, happiness, shame, resentment, grief...

To let it go through crying, is a relief in some ways. One feels a little better after.



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HIPPIECHIC68 5/5/2011 10:11AM

    We all whine sometimes... like you said...it has to get out, so we have to do it...lol and oh, so true...

Wishing you the best, my friend...
emoticon

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I hate a boohoo blog.... but here we go...

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

So the very loud fans were going all night and morning. They pulled up the carpeting in basement last nigh. Today decided they will have to rip up kitchen flooring. They are replacing all baseboards and waiting on drying to see how many walls have to be replaced. The worst part of all of this is that my wedding gown is wet. :( It was my mothers gown. My heart is broken. Not sure what God is doing to me right now. This year has all been about the prayer footprints for me. But come on all ready. I'm in shock. I can't even cry about my wedding gown yet. I don't know what to do with myself. So I sit here and I blog. I went to m therapist this morning. I cried to her about alot of things. I don't know what I was expecting her to do. Make everything better? She said that all my feelings are valid and this is a process still I'm going through with Adam. I'm just done with processing. I want everything to be good. Some days it is but some...I just don't know. I will go to my Zumba class tonight. That will be a good distraction. I'm just tired. I used to say taking things day by day, then minute by minute, then moment by moment. Where do we go from there ????????

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUADJ_216 5/5/2011 12:30PM

  It is always darkest right before the dawn. My heart goes out to you. Praying things get better. Remember you are not alone, everyone of us are here for you
emoticon

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QUADJ_216 5/5/2011 12:29PM

  It is always darkest right before the dawn. My heart goes out to you. Praying things get better. Remember you are not alone, everyone of us are here for you
emoticon

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HIPPIECHIC68 5/5/2011 10:14AM

    Life *is* a process...

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MRDPOLING 5/4/2011 10:05PM

    As much as you liked your "STUFF" ... in the end, it is just "STUFF"!

The Kitchen floor... STUFF!
The Carpet... STUFF!
The Wedding Dress (Yes it has sentamental value) but it is still just... STUFF!

STUFF is repairable and replaceable. The House will be repaired and there are places that can professionally clean the wedding dress so that no one will ever know it got wet in the flood.

Instead of looking at what you have lost, look at what you haven't lost.

In the not to distant future you are going to look back at this FLOOD as just something that happened. It will be a story to share from time to time, but in the long run, it isn't going to effect you or your family.

Rememeber, God didn't do this! Stuff happens, but if you are willing to let him, God can use this to bless all of you. Remember, all things work together for the good, for those that love Him!

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PRINCHESSA 5/4/2011 8:28PM

    emoticonWhat they said... and just stay strong, become stronger. Patience is the key. Definitely check into getting the dress restored and protected. Things always seem to pile on really thick, and then finally one by one, the layers of issues usually seem to make room for new ones ;) But in the end, you're a survivor and can make it through that much more!

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VBPARROTHEAD 5/4/2011 8:06PM

  Does the insurance company have anyone who can restore your wedding dress? Sometimes they do. it has certainly been a difficult time for you and the easy thing for me to say is "Let go and let God", or "These are material things", or "What about people in Alabama and Mississippi?" but that would be discounting the real pain that you are feeling and the sadness that the whole flood is causing you personally! The stress of this year has probably intensified your feelings too. I can say that I don't think God is doing these things but I think God is allowing themto happen. Sure wish I knew why, I would tell you, but sometimes, years later, we figure it out and sometimes we can only say, "It made me stronger". Maybe, someday you will use these experiences to help someone else but right now that isn;t important. What is important are the feelings of sadness, frustration, probably anger, and of being overwhelmed that are important. I am glad that you could cry at your therapist's office. I am glad that you are here and can vent and sure wish that we could all help if by just giving a much needed hug! emoticon

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KAILYNSTAR 5/4/2011 3:47PM

    Where do we go from there?

Living. Accepting the good and the bad. Going forward, not backward. Having hope and knowing that all in all...material things just don't count.

You will get through this. Renovating/fixing house is hard on anybody.

I am sorry about the gown. Maybe the drycleaners can fix it. I'm not sure. The sooner you take it there, the better.

Hope things get better for you in time. Time, this will all take time.

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REDSHOES2011 5/4/2011 2:40PM

    emoticonlife is unfair at times..

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Calling insurance company today...

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

We had been having problems with our refrigerator for a while now. Ice machine leaking and Joe fixing it. Well I guess it sprung a leak a few days ago and we didn't know. Our finished basement is flooded. Ruined. Last night it seemed like the worst thing ever. Today it doesn't. A Spark friend posted a blog about a friend of her son's who died in the past couple days. He was 15. My boys are 15 and 13. This is what I fear most in life. I pray for all of them and know that my problems can be solved with a few phone calls. Please hug those you love close today. Let them know how important they are to you every day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRDPOLING 5/3/2011 7:20PM

    I used to do flooded basement cleanup many many many years ago. If the water was deep enough that the carpet squished (or deeper) then you are garenteed you are going to have to rip out drywall or you are going to have a serious mold issue behind the drywall.

Most people don't realize that drywall acts just like a candle wick. 1 inch of water on the floor can be pulled up into the drywall several feet.

Don't let them BS you into thinking it isn't a big deal. If they don't remove baseboards and cut open the drywall to look inside for moisture, then they are not doing a full inspection. Surface tests are not accurate for checking what is happening behind the walls. A proper inspection will leave you with many large holes in the wall which will have to be fixed later once it is determined there is no water damage.



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VBPARROTHEAD 5/3/2011 11:39AM

  So sorry about the basement but more sorry for the family who lost the 15yr old. At least your basement can be fixed, with time, insurance money, and a lot of aggravation but it can be fixed! Gonna hug everyone today!

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 5/3/2011 11:02AM

    I'm sorry about your basement! At least you have a good attitude about it, that will help you get through the stress of fixing the problem. Good luck!

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HARTKITTY 5/3/2011 10:34AM

    Sometimes we can be so focused on our own issues (Real as they may be) that we forget to see the awesome Blessings we are have.

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HIPPIECHIC68 5/3/2011 9:48AM

    Good reminder... flooded basements can be fixed, friends and loved ones who have gone...not so much. Seize the day! emoticon

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Hi Sparkies!

Monday, May 02, 2011

So it's Monday....So tired this morning. Must still be getting over that day in the city. :) Met a great girlfriend at Panera for some coffee and some good chit chat. She is a sweetheart. We went shopping for proper sneakers for the Zumba class she is gonna try with me on Thursday. I can't wait to get to my hip hop class tonight. I need some consistency with my workout. These crazy days of walking have left me beat. Kinda cloudy here today so I'm in slow mode. I have so much to do here in my house. Omg. I must finally be pmsing cuz I ate sooooo much chocolate last night I almost felt sick. I guess I would call it a binge. :( So I'm back today. I will work on getting back to basics and focusing on my healthy life I enjoy having. Have a great day friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRDPOLING 5/2/2011 2:28PM

    You and me can call Monday afternoon/evening R&R time!

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Nice busy Sunday

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Walking in the MS walk this morning with family. One of our very good friends have been striken with MS and we have watched him struggle with it for 4 years now. It's a beautiful morning so looking forward to spending time with them. After the walk I'm going to my Zumba class and Adam has a baseball game. Adam and I went to mass at Mike's church yesturday and everyone seemed very nice. Adam went to the movies with friends and had a blast. I went to dinner with my brother and sister inlaw while he was out. I ate really well yesturday except for some absolutely sinful and yummy chocolate cream pie for dessert. It was amazing. Have a great day friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 5/2/2011 11:35AM

    We have been getting rain here for the past few days. Yesterday, there was some sunshine. Today is going to really nice out.

Great that you did the MS walk.

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MRDPOLING 5/1/2011 7:09PM

    weather has been gross here, even if I was able to squeeze the time and energy to walk, the weather wouldn't allow. I can't wait until the really nice late spring, early summer days arrive.

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HIPPIECHIC68 5/1/2011 9:04AM

    Sounds like you are doing better...Enjoy your Sunday with family!!!

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