SNOOKUMS19   30,139
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Your words of wisdom got me back on track

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

So all my friends rallied yesturday. It's like a viral intervention and I thank you all for it. So many different perspectives. I think each one of you are a gift from God and am blessed to have you in my life. After reflecting on all of them I believe the binging came from worrying about telling my parents Wenesday that Adam is gay. My dad has many issues with homosexuality. Adam wants to be there when we tell them and I am very concerned with my fathers reflex reaction. I believe if I can tell him by myself I can give him a moment to wrap his brain around it and then come to terms with it. He loves Adam so much and I know in a few days of processing he will be ok. We have a cousin who came out a few years ago and my dad is good with him. I'm going to talk to my therapist about this today and would love some perspective from my Spark friends. Thanks again!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 3/15/2011 12:11PM

    If Adam wants to tell him, that is his decision. You can help prepare Adam by making sure he understands that this may be a shock and there may be a gut reaction that isn't how he truly feels. Ask Adam this. "How long did it take YOU to sort this out in your own head?"

Surely his Grandfather deserves at least a moment to sort it out, and he should not be judged by what might pop out first.

At the very moment Adam is the most vulnerable, the person he is telling is most likely to say the wrong thing. As long as Adam understands that, the rest will sort itself out.

Good luck!


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MRDPOLING 3/15/2011 12:03PM

    There is nothing like our wonderful community of Sparklers to give us a kick in the backside when we really need it! LOL

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KAILYNSTAR 3/15/2011 11:30AM


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HIPPIECHIC68 3/15/2011 9:19AM

    I hope you find the answers you seek at the therapist today. I am sure your stress level has been up through all of this and like with all of life, you will even out and find your peace. You have the tools and support here on SP and we will all be here to help you out the same as you do for us.

emoticon emoticon

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GRACE612 3/15/2011 8:57AM

    And this is why we're all help eachother out... emoticon

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Omg waiting for it to happen and it has! Off the wagon!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Well it's been incredibly stressful since the new year and I have gained all my weight back. I'm being accountable for my actions right now and here we are. I ate 3 over sized bagels for breakfast and fries with wings for dinner. I haven't eaten fries in over a year and ordered them myself. I just had two oversized bagels for breakfast today and know I need to ackonoledge what I'm doing and grab hold of myself. This is bad. Really bad. I'm on a one way ticket to a place I've never been in weight. I know it. I see it. I feel it. I know all my Spark friends are here for me. I just don't know if anything came stop this train. I'm going to shower get my day going and hope for the best. Here we go.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 3/14/2011 8:50PM

    No more excuses. Get up and dust yourself off. You managed to do this before and you WILL do this again.

Let's go!

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    So you were actually waiting for "it" to happen? Expected it to happen? Why?, why would you set yourself up for nonachievement of continued success like that?
I'm just glad to see that you've acknowledged the error of your ways and are taking back control; getting a hold of yourself. But if you really truely want to succeed you've got to let go of the temproary diet thing and "hoping" for the best.

There are two options regarding committment - your either IN or your OUT. There is no such thing as life in-between.

Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

A person who wants something will find a way..
A person who doesn't will find an excuse...

Expecting and waiting for "it" happen? Excuse for giving yourself permission to fall off the wagon.

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COOLMAMA11 3/14/2011 5:10PM

    OMG girl I am where you are at..I lost 30 lbs with Spark and ended up gaining it all back..I am here trying again..I will never give up..I get stronger each turn around..I will succeed and so can you! We will do this!

Hugs Elaine emoticon

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RUNNER12COM 3/14/2011 3:59PM

    What do you mean, "can anything stop this train"? Heck, yes, something can. YOU CAN.

Take a breath. Make a choice. A good choice. Now celebrate it. Repeat.

You can do this!


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RRINGMASTER 3/14/2011 1:50PM

    The good news is that the more times you fail and try again, the better you get at it. It took me many attempts to successfully quit smoking but I found that each time I quit, I was a little more knowledgeable and had a better idea where the land mines were.

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GEMINILH 3/14/2011 12:17PM

    I understand how you are feeling. I fell off the wagon a month ago and haven't exercised and just keep stuffing anything I want into my face. Well today I said NO MORE and I am back on the healthy train. Every single day, even every single meal is a chance to turn it back around and head in the opposite direction. Do not beat yourself up because of what has occurred but strive to make today the best day you can.

I am starting back my exercise today and my eating healthy and so can you. Every single day is another chance to turn it all around. Stay positive and do not be hard on yourself. Everyone slips. Even if I slip is months it's never too late to take control back.

You are strong and you can do this! Keep the faith and keep the spark!

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HIPPIECHIC68 3/14/2011 11:43AM

    "If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page." ~Mark Houlahan

I think I found this quote somewhere here on SP. I love it. I read it almost everyday from my journal.

You've been going through a lot and it can get to us. How did your meeting with the family go? There is so much energy shifting in the world that it is affecting many different people in many different ways.

I know it's tough but you are a strong woman. Hang in there, baby. emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 3/14/2011 10:41AM

    Go out and get yourself some REALLY YUMMY treat that you LOVE, that's also HEALTHY! That's what I do when I fall off the wagon and it always helps me get back on track.

For instance, after not doing so well this weekend, I bought a big package of pistachios. I love pistachios, so now I'm munching on them when I feel the urge to binge on junk food. It satisfies my craving for something yummy so that I can keep eating healthy.

You can do it!

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MRDPOLING 3/14/2011 9:55AM

    Remember H.A.L.T.

Before giving in as if any of the fullowing is true...

Are you...
H - Hungry
A - Angry
L - Lonely
T - Tired

By taking the few seconds to ask yourself these questions, it will give you enough time to be sure you are eating for the right reason.

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REDSHOES2011 3/14/2011 9:49AM

    emoticon turn the page and keep returning to sparks..

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Looking forward to tonight!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I'm having a very nice day. Although I definitely binged this morning. A friend came over this morning with bagels and after church Joe brought the boys to the batting cages and I stayed home. I couldn't wait until they walked out the door so I could binge on those yummy bagels. I know it was wrong but today I'm not obsessing about it. My parents came home from Florida last nigh and I know we will be having the conversation with them and Adam this week. I'm ready but stressed about it. I also am getting guilt from my mom about everything since she got off the plane. Other issues to discuss with my therapist on Tuesday. The upside of the day is I went to the rehersal of my neices confirmation for nexy Friday. I am her sponsor and am honored to be asked. :). We are going to see The Lion King tonight and can't wait to have a nice relaxing evening with my family. I hope everyone is having a relaxing and wonderful Sunday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRDPOLING 3/13/2011 9:13PM

    I am planning, once they open, to spend some time at the batting cages here too. I hope you all love The Lion King!

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JANRTEACH 3/13/2011 3:42PM

    Wow -- it's always something isn't it? You deserve the bagel. Hang in there.

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I was in a strange place yesturday....

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I was happy to be with my husband yesturday and we had a nice time shopping for my neices conformation gift. I am her sponsor and I bought her a beautiful cross for her necklace. We went to Cheesecake Factory and had a healthy lunch. As the day went on I knew we had made tentative plans with Joe's sister and her family. I don't know why but just couldn't get out of my funk that I didn't want to go there. So we went and I just felt off. I could tell they felt it too. It took a little while but I got out of my funk enough to be entertaining and witty emoticon but I just wan't myself. I will be talking to my therapist about it on Tuesday. I can't wait to see her. I feel so much has gone on in the past two weeks I'll need half a day to get through it all. So I'm headed to my dance class and know I will feel much better after that. I hope all my Spark friends are having a healthy weekend and enjoying friends and family!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COOLMAMA11 3/14/2011 6:08AM

    I get that way also, just want alone time....I think it is a natural thing we all go through!
Keep Sparking! Have a great week ahead!

Hugs Elaine emoticon

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MRDPOLING 3/13/2011 3:03PM

    I think everyone gets that way from time to time. Last week I was a walking doom and gloom slug for 2 days but by Friday afternoon I came out of it and felt fine again.

I know people that seem happy go lucky 24/7... I don't think they are being truthful. I think EVERYONE has highs and lows in their life. We should embrase the lows so we can enjoy the highs all the more.

Thank you for your wonderful comments on my blog today! I really appriciate your perspective!


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PUMPKINFAIRY 3/12/2011 3:52PM

    Sometimes I prefer to be alone, too.

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KAILYNSTAR 3/12/2011 3:41PM

    Sometimes, people are just not in the mood to be around others. I have that feeling all of the time.

You really should make sure to talk to your therapist and get this out of your system.

Take care.

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HIPPIECHIC68 3/12/2011 10:28AM

    You've been going through a lot lately and with all the energy shifting with the disaster in Japan, many people were feeling 'off' yesterday. Good day to you and have a great weekend!

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NOMORESTALLING 3/12/2011 10:08AM

    I'm gald you at least enjoyed a part of your day The most important part of the day.
I have days like that too. Just don't feel like being around other people other than my man/family. So it's not necessarily a strange place. It could simly have been that you were wanting and needing your space from anything outside home and family. So take heart.

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Looking forward to a nice day with hubby

Friday, March 11, 2011

Joe has Fridays off from work so we have the whole day just the two of us until the boys come home from school. He works Saturdays which stinks but I think we are lucky to have this day every week to just have us. We get to talk about everything that has happened during the week without distractions from kids or most people in our lives who are working. Adam seems soooooo much better. He feels so much more at ease and like he is able to be himself. Its amazing. I'm so relieved about that. We will be talking to the grandparents this week coming up and I feel totally ready for it. Adam wants to be with us and at first I was concerned but talked to Mike about it and feel much better about that as well. Adam has told another friend at school and she is so psyched to have a gay friend emoticon Adam said she is so funny. She is asking alot of questions that make him laugh. So Spark friends you may be right! emoticon Thank you again for everything! Things have felt a little normal here and that is nice. Have a great weekend!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 3/11/2011 1:08PM

    I have to tell you this...My son came back from his ski trip with all those in his grade. While there, there was a boy that said to the ALL the others that he was gay. He said that he felt or thought like a girl, but in a man's body.

My son said that nobody said anything nasty to him and that it was no big deal. My son was accepting to that. I asked him if he was bothered and he just shrugged and said, "No big deal. So what. There's lots of gay people around."

Times sure have changed since I went I to school! emoticon
(By the way, my son is 15.)

Hope that helps you!

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SNOOKUMS19 3/11/2011 10:54AM

    Thanks so much HIPPIECHIC! I knew the day I found out that Adam was gay that I would do everything in my power to make everything ok for him through this process. I knew I would have alot to work through but Adam was my priority. I've heard of so many teenagers who've taken drugs, abused alcohol, cut themselves or worse because they weren't heard or understood by their parents and I vowed that day that this would not happen to my baby :). Thanks for everything and your words of encouragement cannot be needed or loved more. Have a great weekend!

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HIPPIECHIC68 3/11/2011 10:10AM

    Yay! I hope you have a wonderful day with hubby and I wish you a peaceful meeting with the grandparents! It is so good that Adam is feeling good about coming out, it must be such a relief to him. And... you guys are being so supportive and I just think it's great. If more parents were like you, our young gay people would be so much more emotionally healthy, I'm sure.

Have a super day, my friend! emoticon

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