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Everything went great last night!!!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

First I want to clarify something in my last blog. When I spoke about poison toxins leaving me it wasn't Adam being gay that felt bad. It was keeping it a secret. I felt like not telling had made it a bad thing. My inlaws were awesome about everything. My neice, who is17 was amazing. She is a gift. Adam came home and txted with her all night. So I take a sigh of relief that the family knows. Adam seems like a new relaxed kid. He told us last night that there are any parents that are more awesome than us. That felt great. I am still worried because he definitely wants to tell everyone in school but with our extended family behind us we can get through anything. Thanks again for everything!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EEPOMY4 3/21/2011 11:36AM

    Glad to hear the great news! emoticon

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BAKERICLISA 3/20/2011 11:38AM

    It's great that his family is behind him . . . but if he goes to a standard school (and not one for the Arts) coming out to more than just close friends will make him the target of getting pick on . . . thus is high school. If we are talking college, his true friends should see him no differently. In telling 'everyone' you are telling those who do care and those who don't care if their comments hurt him or not . . . best of luck.

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KATRINIA17 3/20/2011 2:46AM

    I'm so glad that he has such a loving family.

Hugs-kat

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KAILYNSTAR 3/19/2011 3:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JENSUMILLER 3/19/2011 10:15AM

    That is huge for you and your family. I am so happy to hear it went well for you and now you guys can work together to get through the rocky times that Adam is sure to face as he tells the rest of the world. Family can help through just about anything.

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HIPPIECHIC68 3/19/2011 9:32AM

    You guys are doing great! I knew you meant the secret... emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 3/19/2011 7:56AM

    Terrific! I am so glad Adam notice too how wonderful you all are. May I ask how old Adam is? When I read your last two blogs I read "baby" but knew better. I thought middle school but now I am guessing HS years? Mainly because of your niece age and his maturity.

More prayers...telling Middle School & HS can have real mixed feelings. Prepare him for all situations...possible even losing some friends. Some due to parents sad notions. But other because of simple ignorance. He may be opening doors that may be too rough for him to handle. Sending more prayers~~~(((((vibes~~~(((( your way!

Anne emoticon emoticon

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MRDPOLING 3/19/2011 7:27AM

    That is GREAT news! I am so glad Adam has the love and support of so many!

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Thanks for being patient...

Friday, March 18, 2011

Things went very well Wenesday night telling my parents. I didn't cry. My mom did. She gave Adam a huge hug and said everything is ok. She also said she knew. :). My dad was really good. He said he was good. They left and my dad texted me that I am an amazing mother and that Joe is the best dad he has ever known. So thursday was another story for me. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I spent the day with my mom. I wanted to tell her everything I've gone through since October but as I did everything flooded back. Everything I've blogged about day after day after day. I know I took it one day at a time because saying it out loud in the course of hours made my head swim. I really didn't cry alot but I looked like I got hit by a truck as well by the time the kids got home from school. I had a migrane which I took medicine for and went to bed. I got up around 7pm and was cranky to Joe most of the night. It felt like all the toxic energy of keeping that secret was seeping out of my skin and it felt awful. Mike said that about secrets but I don't think I would have ever been able to get it until I felt it. Now its the knowing that people I don't even like will have this information and speaking bad about my amazing child that is killing me. We ran into a student and his mom at Stewarts and I wanted to throw up thinking she will gossiping with her friends about my baby when this goes through school. This process is so hard. I'm taking things minute by minute today. I'm better than I was last night. So thats a plus. Thanks again for everything. We will be telling Joe's parents tonight. I'll keep you updated.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPIECHIC68 3/19/2011 9:30AM

    I am glad YOU were able to detoxify. I truly believe emotions can and do cause illness and you needed that 'feeling sick' to heal yourself. You know I think you and Joe are the best. It looks like you got some good advice from fellow amazing Spark People...

Peace, love and light

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ANNESYLVIA 3/19/2011 7:45AM

    emoticonMy empathy goes out to you and your family. But just think what your Adam is going through? I personally am thanking GOD that Adam has such amazing parents! You are in my prayers especially Adam. How brave of him to know who he is now at his age. I am 44yo and still confuse about who I am well mostly what I want and want to be (when I grow up).

Time heals all dear friend.

Anne emoticon

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KAILYNSTAR 3/18/2011 10:06PM

    There is no use in fretting what other people are saying. You have no control there, so let it go. I know that will be hard, but what else is there?

I hope that you have got all of your toxic thoughts and feelings and such out of your system by now. It never does a body good, let alone taking it out on others. When I do that, I feel worse about myself and the toxicity gets worse. Be careful, that could turn into a never ending cycle.

Go see your therapist. Vent there. Get it out!

emoticon

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JANRTEACH 3/18/2011 8:15PM

    I had a feeling that your mom probably already knew. Grandparents are like that. I'm glad it went well for you with your parents. I think you are in the process of developing a new "normal." It's what we had to do when my son had 2/3rds of his lung taken out at 23 along with a grapefruit-sized cancerous tumor. Things just won't be the same. I know now, how vulnerable we all are. Give yourself a pat on the back. You're doing everything just great. :)

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HARTKITTY 3/18/2011 4:49PM

    I think that you are amazing parents and I'm sure that your son is truly blessed to have both of you. I just feel that I need to share a little more advice (use it as you will or not) Its just that coming out is something your son will need to will need to do for the rest of his life and it is also something one need not always do. Of course I'm 42 and the world has changed since I began coming out. I do not live a lie I am me but I am also not only a Lesbian, I'm a Christian I'm a theologian I'm a student of psychology, I'm a nurse. I don't always tell everyone everything about myself on first meeting that is not lying its just selecting the facts I wish to share. I'm glad that you as a family can know and share the pain together but there really is no need to tell everyone. each person and situation should be judged on its own. Again I wish to say your son is 15. and you are going to need to advise him that not everyone is as accepting their have been times when my mother out of love and acceptance of me have shared that I was gay and in some cases I have lost companions and ministries. I was also going to be ordained but at that point had to choose between marrying my now wife or living a single life at that point I was mature enough to choose my wife and the truth of my sexuality even though I had lived a celibate lifestyle for some years. All I'm saying is be careful

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MRDPOLING 3/18/2011 2:21PM

    (((((((((((((((((( H U G S ))))))))))))))))))))

You are stronger than you know! Hang in there and know that we are here praying for you and your family!

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Ok here we go....

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Tonight is another life changing night for our family. Two more nights and everything else will just be. Tonight we tell my parents that Adam is gay. I told my husband this morning, isn't it unsettling to know that someones lives will be changed forever with information you wil be giving them? So, I went to my therapist yesturday and of course couldn't get in everything I wanted to. I wouldv'e been there for a week. Of course she feels Adam should be there when they are told. I gave her my concerns but ultimately this is Adams life we are discussing and wil be there. I pray all will go well like it did with Josh. I guess it will be what it will be and we will move forward. We will be telling my in-laws Friday night as well. I don't believe it will be much of an issue. A surprise but not an issue. So Spark friends please think kind thoughts for me tonight and thanks again for everything!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATRINIA17 3/20/2011 2:48AM

    It is so hard to believe this is still an issue. I wish it wasn't, love is love and you are who you are. We should all learn to love and accept.

Hugs-Kat

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ANNESYLVIA 3/19/2011 7:37AM

    emoticonthis is still an issue in the 21st century.

emoticonAnne

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VBPARROTHEAD 3/16/2011 11:32PM

  Thoughts and prayers are with you.

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EEPOMY4 3/16/2011 3:59PM

    Keeping you in my prayers! Just take a minute for yourself and get into the place where you want to be.... emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/16/2011 4:00:09 PM

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MRDPOLING 3/16/2011 3:42PM

    All of you are in my prayers!

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SLENDERELLA61 3/16/2011 2:23PM

    Kind thoughts are with you! Best wishes for the best possible outcome. I admire your bravery and willingness to get it out in the open. In my family it would probably remain a secret for generations to come -- which is not a healthy way to live.

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 3/16/2011 12:10PM

    Good luck tonight. Adam is still Adam, and I would bet beyond surprise it will all be fine. Good luck!

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KAILYNSTAR 3/16/2011 11:14AM

    I'll be thinking of you and your family today. I do hope that things go well.

Good Luck!

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RUNNER12COM 3/16/2011 10:50AM

    Next week, you will be sitting at your table thinking, "I can't believe I worried so much."

(That's my hope. Good luck to you all.)

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DEEDEE1102 3/16/2011 9:42AM

    My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope everybody concerned will accept and heal quickly. Everybody has the right to be open and honest in the way they live their lives. Congratulations to you and Adam on choosing to be healthy and happy. emoticon emoticon

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MIQUEY73 3/16/2011 9:42AM

    I hope everything goes well tonight! Sending good thoughts your way!

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FREGGIEQUEEN 3/16/2011 9:04AM

    emoticon

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COOLMAMA11 3/16/2011 8:58AM

    Everything will be fine, it takes a little bit to digest this type of news, but in the end it is as it is, you either except it or you don't, for his sake I hope they are understanding and except his way of life!

Hugs Elaine

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Your words of wisdom got me back on track

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

So all my friends rallied yesturday. It's like a viral intervention and I thank you all for it. So many different perspectives. I think each one of you are a gift from God and am blessed to have you in my life. After reflecting on all of them I believe the binging came from worrying about telling my parents Wenesday that Adam is gay. My dad has many issues with homosexuality. Adam wants to be there when we tell them and I am very concerned with my fathers reflex reaction. I believe if I can tell him by myself I can give him a moment to wrap his brain around it and then come to terms with it. He loves Adam so much and I know in a few days of processing he will be ok. We have a cousin who came out a few years ago and my dad is good with him. I'm going to talk to my therapist about this today and would love some perspective from my Spark friends. Thanks again!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 3/15/2011 12:11PM

    If Adam wants to tell him, that is his decision. You can help prepare Adam by making sure he understands that this may be a shock and there may be a gut reaction that isn't how he truly feels. Ask Adam this. "How long did it take YOU to sort this out in your own head?"

Surely his Grandfather deserves at least a moment to sort it out, and he should not be judged by what might pop out first.

At the very moment Adam is the most vulnerable, the person he is telling is most likely to say the wrong thing. As long as Adam understands that, the rest will sort itself out.

Good luck!

SDJ

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MRDPOLING 3/15/2011 12:03PM

    There is nothing like our wonderful community of Sparklers to give us a kick in the backside when we really need it! LOL

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KAILYNSTAR 3/15/2011 11:30AM

    emoticon

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HIPPIECHIC68 3/15/2011 9:19AM

    I hope you find the answers you seek at the therapist today. I am sure your stress level has been up through all of this and like with all of life, you will even out and find your peace. You have the tools and support here on SP and we will all be here to help you out the same as you do for us.

emoticon emoticon

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GRACE612 3/15/2011 8:57AM

    And this is why we're all here...to help eachother out... emoticon

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Omg waiting for it to happen and it has! Off the wagon!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Well it's been incredibly stressful since the new year and I have gained all my weight back. I'm being accountable for my actions right now and here we are. I ate 3 over sized bagels for breakfast and fries with wings for dinner. I haven't eaten fries in over a year and ordered them myself. I just had two oversized bagels for breakfast today and know I need to ackonoledge what I'm doing and grab hold of myself. This is bad. Really bad. I'm on a one way ticket to a place I've never been in weight. I know it. I see it. I feel it. I know all my Spark friends are here for me. I just don't know if anything came stop this train. I'm going to shower get my day going and hope for the best. Here we go.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 3/14/2011 8:50PM

    No more excuses. Get up and dust yourself off. You managed to do this before and you WILL do this again.

Let's go!

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NOMORESTALLING 3/14/2011 7:40PM

    So you were actually waiting for "it" to happen? Expected it to happen? Why?, why would you set yourself up for nonachievement of continued success like that?
I'm just glad to see that you've acknowledged the error of your ways and are taking back control; getting a hold of yourself. But if you really truely want to succeed you've got to let go of the temproary diet thing and "hoping" for the best.

There are two options regarding committment - your either IN or your OUT. There is no such thing as life in-between.

Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

A person who wants something will find a way..
A person who doesn't will find an excuse...

Expecting and waiting for "it" happen? Excuse for giving yourself permission to fall off the wagon.



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COOLMAMA11 3/14/2011 5:10PM

    OMG girl I am where you are at..I lost 30 lbs with Spark and ended up gaining it all back..I am here trying again..I will never give up..I get stronger each turn around..I will succeed and so can you! We will do this!

Hugs Elaine emoticon

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RUNNER12COM 3/14/2011 3:59PM

    What do you mean, "can anything stop this train"? Heck, yes, something can. YOU CAN.

Take a breath. Make a choice. A good choice. Now celebrate it. Repeat.

You can do this!

SDJ

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RRINGMASTER 3/14/2011 1:50PM

    The good news is that the more times you fail and try again, the better you get at it. It took me many attempts to successfully quit smoking but I found that each time I quit, I was a little more knowledgeable and had a better idea where the land mines were.

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GEMINILH 3/14/2011 12:17PM

    I understand how you are feeling. I fell off the wagon a month ago and haven't exercised and just keep stuffing anything I want into my face. Well today I said NO MORE and I am back on the healthy train. Every single day, even every single meal is a chance to turn it back around and head in the opposite direction. Do not beat yourself up because of what has occurred but strive to make today the best day you can.

I am starting back my exercise today and my eating healthy and so can you. Every single day is another chance to turn it all around. Stay positive and do not be hard on yourself. Everyone slips. Even if I slip is months it's never too late to take control back.

You are strong and you can do this! Keep the faith and keep the spark!

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HIPPIECHIC68 3/14/2011 11:43AM

    "If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page." ~Mark Houlahan

I think I found this quote somewhere here on SP. I love it. I read it almost everyday from my journal.

You've been going through a lot and it can get to us. How did your meeting with the family go? There is so much energy shifting in the world that it is affecting many different people in many different ways.

I know it's tough but you are a strong woman. Hang in there, baby. emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 3/14/2011 10:41AM

    Go out and get yourself some REALLY YUMMY treat that you LOVE, that's also HEALTHY! That's what I do when I fall off the wagon and it always helps me get back on track.

For instance, after not doing so well this weekend, I bought a big package of pistachios. I love pistachios, so now I'm munching on them when I feel the urge to binge on junk food. It satisfies my craving for something yummy so that I can keep eating healthy.

You can do it!

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MRDPOLING 3/14/2011 9:55AM

    Remember H.A.L.T.

Before giving in as if any of the fullowing is true...

Are you...
H - Hungry
A - Angry
L - Lonely
T - Tired

By taking the few seconds to ask yourself these questions, it will give you enough time to be sure you are eating for the right reason.

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REDSHOES2011 3/14/2011 9:49AM

    emoticon turn the page and keep returning to sparks..

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